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 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 710
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But I do see them as being less "manly". It's how I feel about it.


I don't think women would be too happy if men started making comments that BBWs are less feminine than slim women. It's alright to have preferences, but there's no need to insult people you don't find attractive.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 711
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:02:50 PM

What if a woman outweighs the guy? Or has larger chest, waist, arm measurements? Does that make him seem "less manly" ? "TRADITIONALLY", in general, men should be, or are, bigger than women. But some women are turning that around..some could certainly stand to miss a few meals, regardless of who pays.


Agree 100%. That's why I won't date men that are shorter or skinnier than me. I don't feel feminine if I'm bigger or taller than a guy.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 712
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:16:22 PM

I don't think women would be to happy if men started making comments that BBWs are less feminine than slim women. It's alright to have preferences, but there's no need to insult people you don't find attractive.


I would definitely feel less feminine if I was overweight and "big" in general, and I would totally get that most men wouldn't find me attractive. I'm the same - I don't find men with certain physical characteristics attractive or manly ,and I also don't find certain behaviors attractive or manly. Whatever floats our boat right?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 713
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Posted: 3/9/2016 7:42:11 PM
I'm from the school of thought that it's best to be an honest person. If a woman prefers "traditional" dating, I would rather her be honest about it and say: "I'm a traditional gal, so I prefer to be taken out on the first date." The only reason for being dishonest that I can think of is that people want to eat for free regardless if they're into the guy or not. I don't think it's cool to be dishonest. I'm not offended at all if someone has the maturity to be straight forward and tells me if they prefer traditional dating or if they prefer to pay their own way.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 714
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:52:53 PM


"TRADITIONALLY", in general, men should be, or are, bigger than women.


Agree 100%. That's why I won't date men that are shorter or skinnier than me.


Lol, lol, lol.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 715
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:04:37 PM

I would rather her be honest about it and say: "I'm a traditional gal, so I prefer to be taken out on the first date." The only reason for being dishonest that I can think of is that people want to eat for free regardless if they're into the guy or not. I don't think it's cool to be dishonest. I'm not offended at all if someone has the maturity to be straight forward and tells me if they prefer traditional dating or if they prefer to pay their own way.

I'm 37 and if this conversation hasn't taken place yet, it probably won't. I've been on dates with men from the United States, African countries, Russia, Eastern European countries, Turkey, Peru, and these are just what I can remember right now. All of these men paid for dates and nothing was said about it. I gladly gave rides etc. but the men paid for the meals/drinks/coffee.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 716
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:12:38 PM
Also a South Korean and an ultra-Orthodox Jew. Both paid.
:-)
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 717
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:20:54 PM

. I don't feel feminine if I'm bigger or taller than a guy.


I find that kind of weird.
I feel feminine most of the time when I'm with a guy.
I don't mean dating necessarily; simply in the presence of a man. Co-workers, male friends (married or not), the server at the restaurant, the bagboy at the grocery.
I smile and do a little 'light' flirting or sometimes some way-over-the-top flirting with a Scarlet O'Hara accent if I know I won't be taken terribly seriously.
I like making a guy realize that I'm a woman; even if I'm not available for him or he isn't interested in me sexually (as in he's married, too old, too young, an unknown person that I'm simply passing by in the bookstore).
I've flirted appropriately with men on airplanes, in bookstores, on the bus, a quick smile as we pass on the sidewalk. Sometimes appreciation (I feel safer in your company) or sometimes admiration (That shirt really makes you look like a quarterback.)
About half the men I have dated have been shorter than me, one about five or six inches shorter; most have weighed less.
I never felt less feminine just because I was larger.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 718
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Posted: 3/9/2016 8:25:27 PM

What if a woman outweighs the guy? Or has larger chest, waist, arm measurements?

I think the larger chest thing is A-Okay, and wouldn't be a controversy on either side. :) I can understand a woman wanting a combo of frame/bulk/height in comparison to hers to feel on the right male/female 'wavelength'. But I never thought that when women were working, that the size of his wallet would be included. Yikes.

Men appreciate when women go out with them.
Woman appreciate when men go out with them.
But neither sex owes for anything more or less.

Outside someone asking to Take the other out, that should be the case -- essentially the same as two friends going out. Unfortunately, for most, at least to one degree or another, it's Not equal nor wanted to be. To a light degree, I can't really complain too much... as the flow of dating itself isn't equal. Guys are supposed to approach girls, ask their #, initiate the first date... so in that chasing-flow of guy->girl, I can understand treating that initial stage as asking to Take her out when not said. But if a gal expects those very few dates to be either high class, or an Entitlement to be payed for subsequent ones roughly indefinitely, otherwise he's "classless" -- that's just greed. Greed justified by that not being on the top of their head, and supported by enough popularity of it, as well as more than enough guys who Are willing to pay to keep a gal's interest (we've gotten used to it and pretty content about it up to a certain degree).

However, in situations where this "tradition" stems from -- due to women not working or only working for enough money to barely keep themselves above water living with others -- guys paying for dates, in and of itself, wasn't to win her over. Most women wouldn't be in position to pay anyway, so that part wasn't an argument. Today, there are a lot of gals who support themselves just to barely make ends meet, and there -- I don't think the guy OWES them money, but if he would like to go out on dates with her, he would have to cover at least a majority of her bill at even relatively affordable places, once things were rolling. Not to impress or it being 'owed', but just out of financial feasibility for the gal. That, I understand. But to reinact such role-playing scenarios to get a sense of a "man" (money) and a "woman" (no money) -- is going too far.

Saying that a guy not paying the whole bill all of the time is "less manly", is as ridiculous as an idiot guy saying a woman who has a full time job is "less feminine". Hey, as long as that's just how they feel, it's all good, right? ;)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 719
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:32:33 PM

I'm 37 and if this conversation hasn't taken place yet, it probably won't. I've been on dates with men from the United States, African countries, Russia, Eastern European countries, Turkey, Peru, and these are just what I can remember right now. All of these men paid for dates and nothing was said about it. I gladly gave rides etc. but the men paid for the meals/drinks/coffee.


It can happen occasionally in my experience. I have seen women's profiles that state the first date / meeting should be Dutch and others that imply they want a man to pay. A few women brought this up during email / text / phone conversations prior to a date. Even though these women willing to split the bill, I gladly offered to pay for the most or all of the date. Which is different than a woman expecting me to pay because it "makes her feel good".
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 720
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:36:00 PM

But I never thought that when women were working, that the size of his wallet would be included. Yikes.


You're still not getting it. I don't care if a guy is rich or not. Most younger guys that I've dated made less than I did but they still offered to pay. It's the GESTURE that counts.


Saying that a guy not paying the whole bill all of the time is "less manly", is as ridiculous as an idiot guy saying a woman who has a full time job is "less feminine". Hey, as long as that's just how they feel, it's all good, right? ;)


I don't work full-time outside the home, I do 28 hours per week, not more. Because yes, it feels better to me to work part-time ;-)
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 721
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:38:55 PM
@ Msg 734
You invited her to go out with you, but YOU do not want to " makes her feel good"?
That is strange ........

PS
I am speechless, so I won't make anymore comments on this "funny" and the same time, sad thread.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 722
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:40:36 PM
If a generous benefactor took care of my entertainment expenses, I could work less than 40 hours per week.

Go figure...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 723
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:51:09 PM

You invited her to go out with you, but YOU do not want to " makes her feel good"?
That is strange ........


Completely missing the point. It was about paying for the date because I wanted to. Not because she expected me to. Both people should be enjoying and appreciating each other's time and company. It shouldn't be one sided. Whenever a woman asked me out, I never expected her to pay for me because of that reason.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 724
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Posted: 3/9/2016 8:55:17 PM

You're still not getting it. I don't care if a guy is rich or not.

I understand it's not about him being rich. I've always gotten that. But it's about him showing a bigger wallet than you when Together (always paying)!

I don't work full-time outside the home, I do 28 hours per week, not more. Because yes, it feels better to me to work part-time ;-)

Soo, you're implying that women who work full-time are less feminine, just as guys not wanting to always pay womens' bills when out are less masculine?

You invited her to go out with you, but YOU do not want to " makes her feel good"?

No, he doesn't want her to Expect him to pay just because it (she not paying and him paying her stuff) "makes her feel good". That's wanting to be paid for when it's Expected. Who wants to buy someone's feelings?
 seasprite4u
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 725
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:55:57 PM
Msg 721 was right- whoever has the vagina.

Clooney got it too, I guess if someone was paying part of my lifestyle I could work part time too. "Generous benefactor", I like that, I'll put an ad in the paper
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 726
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Posted: 3/9/2016 10:08:56 PM
So all you dutch daters, who pays for the condoms? Do you argue about it in the Wal-Mart? Or is that decided while enjoying your happy meal in the Micky D's parking lot? Divide up the unused ones so each goes away with their fair share least you never see each other again? lol
 a_buick_a_dd214_and_a_ba
Joined: 2/21/2016
Msg: 727
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:14:53 PM

So all you dutch daters, who pays for the condoms?


I have been a dutch dater; however, I won't instead dive into sex within the first few dates.


Do you argue about it in the Wal-Mart?


I would shop at King Soopers or a Pacific Ocean Marketplace. Better fish!


Or is that decided while enjoying your happy meal in the Micky D's parking lot?


McDonald's is ****ing disgusting!


Divide up the contents so each goes away with their fair share least you never see each other again? lol


You're the worst troll I have ever seen. The Billy Goats Gruff wouldn't even try to trick you to pass over the bridge as the crossing would be near effortless.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 728
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Posted: 3/9/2016 10:20:55 PM
a_buick_a_dd214_and_a_ba said:
The Billy Goats Gruff wouldn't even try to trick you to pass over the bridge as the crossing would be near effortless.


Seriously? Are you five years old? Google a little harder, surely you can do better then that. Or was I supposed to go halves on it? lol
 a_buick_a_dd214_and_a_ba
Joined: 2/21/2016
Msg: 729
who pays
Posted: 3/9/2016 11:07:18 PM

Seriously? Are you five years old? Google a little harder, surely you can do better then that. Or was I supposed to go halves on it? lol


I just needed to respond with something that you could understand considering your apparent rebuttal level is eleven up and three down.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 730
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Posted: 3/9/2016 11:24:15 PM

So all you dutch daters, who pays for the condoms? Do you argue about it in the Wal-Mart? Or is that decided while enjoying your happy meal in the Micky D's parking lot? Divide up the unused ones so each goes away with their fair share least you never see each other again? lol


Hey, at least you think you're funny. That's all that counts. Good luck with your dating.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 731
who pays
Posted: 3/10/2016 5:22:21 AM

Or is that decided while enjoying your happy meal in the Micky D's parking lot?


I would take a woman to Mickey D's to get a happy meal, but under one condition-only if I have a coupon for you buy one and get one free. I know how much women love seeing a guy who uses coupons.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 732
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Posted: 3/10/2016 5:33:37 AM

I would take a woman to Mickey D's to get a happy meal, but under one condition-only if I have a coupon for you buy one and get one free.


You still have to pay for one!

You people don't know all the tricks

You get two coupons and ask people in line if you can get a free one their meal. No cost to them and you can get two free meals. At first it may feel a little strange, but McD is often busy so a few turn downs won't hurt.

Think outside of the box.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 733
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Posted: 3/10/2016 6:20:36 AM

Some men explain it by saying they’ll invest more in the woman once they’re serious with them. They don’t want to ‘waste’ the money if the girl is not worth it or if the relationship doesn’t go any further.

Well that’s a very bad excuse. You’re either a generous man or you’re not. Taking a woman to a nice dinner, buying her a little something or even helping her with the repair at home should be a pleasure to a man. Even if the relationship doesn’t go anywhere, it is never wasted money


Easy to say when you're not paying for it. Besides many people for both genders think the first couple of dates or so shouldn't be that expensive. The more formal dates can happen later if there is interest on both sides.


Yeah, but would you do that for dates? The point was, was that if it's not necessary to reciprocate with money, then it can go the other way around -- on dates. So if a guy you're starting to see fixes somethings around your house, you're not going to mind taking him out for dinner, right? (I think most women wouldn't) Or if he invites you over and cooks you dinner, you'll reciprocate by buying him dinner another time (that'd be roughly ballpark range of equal expenses)?

I think a gal cooking/making dinner at her place is an equal exchange when he takes her out to dinner (or cooks one himself, the other way around).


Yes I have. The point was I have done this for other people in additional to dates.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 734
who pays
Posted: 3/10/2016 6:36:42 AM


Easy to say when you're not paying for it. Besides many people for both genders think the first couple of dates or so shouldn't be that expensive. The more formal dates can happen later if there is interest on both sides.


Sometimes going the reverse route works wonders.

Spend a lot in the beginning and then ween them off the cash.

Might not get the relationship you're looking for but you'll definitely have lots of fun.

Expectations. Manage them carefully...
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