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 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 843
who paysPage 34 of 58    (18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58)
LOL. Really, bikini pics scream "let's fvck". What is this, the MIddle East? If I can go out in public in a bikini without being arrested for "public indecency", I think it's safe to post bikini pics on a dating website where ADULTS can see them. And yes, those photo shoot pics were topless (completely nude actually), but you can't see anything but my head and shoulders and some cleavage. Big freaking deal. I've heard other women who post no "racy" pics on their profile get messages from ***holes who just want to fvck as well - as a woman, it doesn't matter what pic you post, you will always get some of those. In the end, it's up to me who I choose to respond to, and it certainly is not the "hey, wanna fvck" retards.


Belle, you are right, I don't worry about what people think, but it's fun to see them foam at the mouth sometimes.

What's even funnier is that some of the people (men) who attack me the most in the forums have actually contacted me on POF trying to get lucky but I ignored them. Hahaha.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 844
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:25:14 AM
Guess it's true, there are "high class" hos..wonders never end. .the primary difference is..? They cost more..?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 845
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:27:15 AM

What's even funnier is that some of the people (men) who attack me the most in the forums have actually contacted me on POF trying to get lucky but I ignored them. Hahaha.


That's funny, I just checked where all the men posting above you come from and I'm sure that ALL of them have better things to do that jump on a plane from eastern US and Canada to come and get lucky with you. hahahaha

Cdn guy sort of nailed it. It seems if the topic is how to make pickled beets, you somehow turn it to how great you look, how you looks years younger and how you like to fvck young guys. Then you throw in how a guy who is 60 is somehow a perv because he's looking to date 10 or 15 years younger.

And no, don't worry about what anyone thinks of you, you shouldn't waste any time doing that. You think you look great (you do) and other's think your photos looks skanky (their opinion). You've posted a product, you've set your target market and if it work for you, great. Just don't make it anymore than what it is. And yes, you are "selling" yourself by your photos, nothing wrong with that, do what ever works for as long as it works. And as long as you keep bringing up how wonderful you are (and you do that) then you will get comments to the contrary. Nature of the beast. So good luck....and stay away from my son. Thanks.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 846
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:29:03 AM
I really hope TIK finds a LTR.

Offering sex for love is a risky play, as much as offering a commitment.

Taking short cuts works...sometimes, but not often.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 847
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:32:02 AM

LOL. Really, bikini pics scream "let's fvck". What is this, the MIddle East? If I can go out in public in a bikini without being arrested for "public indecency", I think it's safe to post bikini pics on a dating website where ADULTS can see them.


Of course they do, it is naive to think that if you have pictures that show a lot of skin that the viewer isn't going to think that your attitude towards sex isn't more open. What other purpose would it have to show those types of pics? What else could you be advertising?

I think you are asking for and getting exactly what you want to get from this site. I have no problem with that. I just find it amusing that you somehow spin it that you are benefiting other women your age by telling your stories. I doubt that. You're bragging, and again I have no problem with that either. However you shouldn't be surprised or offended when it tends to piss people off. You have people on here for years who have had no success finding anybody it probably doesn't sit well with them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 848
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:33:17 AM
Karma...What happened with the guy who sent you the message? Thumbs up or thumbs down ?

I am a fan of tasteful nude photography. I have a couple of books by photographer Uwe Ommer.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 849
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:40:21 AM
OMG, here we go again with the whole prostitution bit....................it's getting old.

It is all a mechanism of guilt to make it seem like women should not have or get anything from a man, so he can get away with getting what he wants without doing anything. Even Steve Harvey said it:

"I'm here to tell you, though, ladies that the term "gold digger" is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all our money and still get everything we want from you without you asking for or expecting this very basic, instincual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace. ... KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.”

That's like making men feel like they are sex addicts, perverts, etc for wanting sex, no, wanting sex is normal. As normal as women wanting to feel valued, appreciated, respected, and loved. Things go hand-in-hand.

vvvvvv

I'm gonna check out GL Lambert, thanks for the tip.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 850
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:53:23 AM
Exactly Belle - I love Steve Harvey, and GL Lambert. These guys tell women how not to be taken advantage of by men, reading their stuff was quite enlightening.

Cool Dog - that guy is OK, we' re setting up a date when he's back in town. IN the meantime, I'm going out for St. Patty's Day tonight (with friends), and have a date or two planned for this weekend. Not really feeling going out on dates right now tbough, it's getting nice and sunny and warm here and I'm itching to start gardening in my yard. That's what I'll do a lot of this weekend.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 851
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 8:55:28 AM

That's like making men feel like they are sex addicts, perverts, etc for wanting sex, no, wanting sex is normal. As normal as women wanting to feel valued, appreciated, respected, and loved. Things go hand-in-hand.


Both of those things could apply to men and women- most women desire sex and men also want to feel valued, appreciated, respected and loved.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 852
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:01:02 AM
Cassie - too bad I can't post screen shots of my messages. I get messages from people out of state or even out of country a lot. And yes, one poster who used to bash me quite a bit lives on the West Coast and has messaged my inbox several times until I told him I wasn't interested. Ditto a few others who live farther away. Funny stuff.

When I treated men like "gold", I got used and abused. Not doing that anymore until AFTER they prove their worth to me.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 853
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:01:09 AM
Steve Harvey has an OPINION. He ain't a god, hes just a man that makes a few bucks selling books and working on game shows. And IMO, he's an idiot and I've never liked the man. When I listened to the idiot Harvey, his message was basically - "hold out and get as much as you can for your cookie."

And all some of the men here have been saying is "yes it is your right to expect a man to pay for dinner, blah, blah in exchange for your time", but what about respecting the man's time and money. Both you and Karma do the "what's in it for me" while others are trying to point out - they (the men) want the same consideration. If you want the men to treat you like gold....do the same in return and quit with the "you should feel honored to be in my presence" crap.



As normal as women wanting to feel valued, appreciated, respected, and loved. Things go hand-in-hand.


Exactly. And so do men and that's what the majority of men have been trying to tell you two "it's all about me" gals.

As normal as MEN wanting to feel valued, appreciated, respected and loved.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 854
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:02:36 AM
Well, I think a more applicable, but still tacky thread title would be who pays for how long?

Offering sex only after money is spent feels like a companion type thingy, which works for some folks. She gets part time romance and he gets some shaggin'.

I think the earning ability of both parties is more relevant to who pays.

Besides, this is the 21st century and she's getting sex too.



Exactly. And so do men and that's what the majority of men have been trying to tell you two "it's all about me" gals.


Plenty of female profiles blasting The kids are grown and now it's my time!

Not on my dime sweetie.

These ladies are seeking to be liberated from their boring past, ala the Eat, Prey and Love experience.

YMMV
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 855
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:06:12 AM
Steve Harvey kneels down like a good little servant, and kisses butt..be a doormat..good advice?
diet pills are very expensive, I guess..lucky some guys dig "heavy set big boned" women...have to buy 2 dinners for filling the belly?
as of Msg. 851..nothing more to say..what happened?
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 856
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:14:20 AM

Both of those things could apply to men and women- most women desire sex and men also want to feel valued, appreciated, respected and loved.


Yeah, and that is what he feels when he allowed to be as close to a woman as he can get (inside her). Who you think you're talking to? a little girl?

For woman, it is mostly what happens outside of the bedroom that gets her into it, whereas for men, it is what happens in the bedroom that tends to get them to do things outside of the bedroom for a woman.


Steve Harvey has an OPINION. He ain't a god, hes just a man that makes a few bucks selling books and working on game shows. And IMO, he's an idiot and I've never liked the man.

We ALL have an OPINION, it doesn't make it right or wrong. It is irrelevant to me if I like Steve Harvey as a person or not, I concur with his opinion as it is also the opinion of my family, of my culture, or my own assertion having been in 3 relationships in the past, and now a 4th.

My boyfriend understands and has already expressed that he does not have a problem giving me or doing anything that I want, as long as he gets everything he wants, which is all of me. He went as far as saying that everything that he has is mine and he only asks that in return, I share that back with him.

So in a world where a woman has choices, why make poor ones?


Steve Harvey panders , kneels down like a good little servant, and kisses butt..be a doormat..good advice?


Steve Harvey is laughing on his way to the bank, while you're counting the last few bucks in your pocket and deciding between dinner or condoms.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 857
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:16:10 AM

When I treated men like "gold", I got used and abused. Not doing that anymore until AFTER they prove their worth to me.


If you have issues about being used and abused in the past, it's best that you get some help for that before you start dating again. Would you date a man who had bad experiences with women and expected you to prove your worth to him before he starts treating you like gold?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 858
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:16:27 AM


So in a world where a woman has choices, why make poor ones?


I suppose some men have no problem making expensive choices.

Fun times ahead but rarely a lasting LTR.

If it feels like I'm paying for sex, how much do I budget for that?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 859
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:21:51 AM
If you have issues about being used and abused in the past, it's best that you get some help for that before you start dating again. Would you date a man who had bad experiences with women and expected you to prove your worth to him before he starts treating you like gold?

--

I did get help for this. And guess what? The counselor suggested I put up better boundaries and do what I'm doing now. NO more "free lunches" so to speak for men - they have to show they value me, and yes, spending money on dates is one way of doing that.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 860
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:31:45 AM

I suppose some men have no problem making expensive choices.

Some men are just intelligent and end up in lucrative careers, making choices in life that bode them well, and place them in a good position for themselves and whomever they want to be.


If it feels like I'm paying for sex, how much do I budget for that?

Depends on who you choose and what she needs or wants. I don't need anything (I have tons of clothes, shoes, fashion jewelry, handbags, etc), but I may want something here and there. I'm not high maintenance, but there are a lot of things that I'm into, like skincare, hair care, and accessories, and they are not inexpensive.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 861
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 9:51:04 AM
So basically it seems that it there is agreement that there is an exchange of money or what it can buy for sex. Really? Never in all my years did I look at it that way. I always looked at my relationships as two people who felt an attraction and enjoyed being with each other.

I never had a problem picking up a bill or buying gifts but very rarely did anybody I dated in the past act as if they were entitled to what I provided. There were a couple that gave me that "vibe" and the relationship was over. I guess I have been extremely lucky with the people I have met.

And just the fact that someone can afford something doesn't mean it is still not expensive.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 862
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:02:26 AM

I did get help for this. And guess what? The counselor suggested I put up better boundaries and do what I'm doing now. NO more "free lunches" so to speak for men - they have to show they value me, and yes, spending money on dates is one way of doing that


In my opinion, there should be a balance between setting up boundaries and doing nice things for the other person. I don't mind contributing equally in a relationship, but I won't stick around if a woman treats me like a walking ATM machine. Men who think that they have to go along with paying for every date or they have no options don't value themselves just as women who allow themselves to be taken advantage of by men don't value themselves.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 863
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:12:41 AM
I am often struck by the amount of cognitive dissonance displayed by some posters.


KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.”


Yet in the mature woman thread, it's a common retort to say if an older man desires a younger women, he is going to have to pay.

But many agree a man should always pay. I don't see why it's so negative to say he will have to pay when he is older dating a younger woman?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 864
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:43:01 AM

NO more "free lunches" so to speak for men - they have to show they value me, and yes, spending money on dates is one way of doing that.


How is that working out for you? You're constantly bragging about all of the guys you've dated and will be dating, but there's no mention of a steady, long term boyfriend or The One, or anything else serious, There is just a line-up of guys waiting for the opportunity to buy you meals for no particular reason, and you have no reservation about using them as your personal ATM. The only place I would take someone who is just after a free meal is to the local soup kitchen at the homeless shelter. The demanding of men to provide you with free dates seems more like a revenge thing for you, to get back at the men who didn't treat you like the Queen of Womanhood in the past. You need to find an unbiased counselor.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 865
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 10:56:33 AM

Yeah, and that is what he feels when he allowed to be as close to a woman as he can get (inside her). Who you think you're talking to? a little girl?


As long as he pays for the privilege to get inside her. She shows up, he pays for the privilege. We've heard it all stated before," he pays, I'm awesome, it's my culture, I'm highly educated, I'm worth more, he buys me, he buys me". Now you know it all because you're in your 4th relationship, which means??? We know about how wonderful you are, you're educated, bi-sexual, worldly, a catch and on and on. We get that. Congratulations - you're a human being just like everyone else posting on this thread.

A man just wants to feel loved, respected, honored and appreciated. You and Karma seem to forget that and go on and on about "its all about me".


Steve Harvey is laughing on his way to the bank, while you're counting the last few bucks in your pocket and deciding between dinner or condoms.


Steve told you to sit back on your money maker, keep your purse close and make him pay for dinner AND the condoms cause...you're worth it. Cool.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 866
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 11:45:38 AM

It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.”


I sincerely hope no one reads things like this and believes they're true. Yes, it's fine for a woman to have whatever standards she wants to set, but I'm talking about reality. By saying a man pays for your time with cash is saying that his time and company has no value, only the dollar bills in his wallet have value. That's not a relationship, that's an opportunist hanging out with a stupid man. A man's time and company is just as valuable as a woman's. I hope that most men don't get caught up in this low level thinking. You don't need to impress a woman, you need to attract a woman. I personally don't want to be with a fly-by-night girl that disappears if the money stops following. If a woman truly likes you, she doesn't care what kind of car you drive or how much money you have in the bank.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 867
who pays
Posted: 3/17/2016 11:49:23 AM

As long as he pays for the privilege to get inside her. She shows up, he pays for the privilege. We've heard it all stated before," he pays, I'm awesome, it's my culture, I'm highly educated, I'm worth more, he buys me, he buys me".


As long as he treats her with respect, value, appreciation, and love, he is in turn getting the same and whatever he seeks out of the dynamic.


Now you know it all because you're in your 4th relationship, which means???

Hmmm, perhaps that was taken out of context. I'm in my 4th relationship at this time, which means that throughout the years and based on prior experience, I know what I want and need and therefore who would make a better match with me.

I'm not claiming to know anything about relationships or other people, what I know is ME and what I want, which fine-tunes itself over time and years of experience.


We know about how wonderful you are, you're educated, bi-sexual, worldly, a catch and on and on. We get that. Congratulations - you're a human being just like everyone else posting on this thread.

Thank you, thank you, I know. And the only reason you know all of this is because I was asked to justify my worth or something like "what do you have to offer?" thingy thing many moons ago.

Of course I am a human being like everyone else, a mere mortal.


A man just wants to feel loved, respected, honored and appreciated. You and Karma seem to forget that and go on and on about "its all about me".

You fail to understand that we are writing about ourselves, not about the men in question, so yeah, it is all about us. You are the most important person in your life, and you should come first. It is not selfish to do what is right for you.


Steve told you to sit back on your money maker, keep your purse close and make him pay for dinner AND the condoms cause...you're worth it. Cool.

Well, Steve didn't actually tell me anything but he did make it clear how to distinguish someone who is looking to have a future with you from someone who isn't. In fact, that's how my boyfriend became my boyfriend. I read the book while on a recent trip I made, and by the time I finished the book (3 nights). I realized that he had already done more than 3/4 of what the book shows a man to display when he really cares about a woman. We had gone on 3 dates by that time (I believe I wrote about it on this thread previously or on another), he showed me the man he planned to be in my life, and still does.

You can interpret it as you wish, the main point of it all is that there are things that men do for women when they really want to be in her life in more ways than horizontal. Any other interpretation is simply stretching it to the 60's notion of free love, and that's not the era in which we are at this time.
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