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 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 971
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My dad has bigger testicles then your dad.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 972
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 2:47:29 PM

I am not disrespecting anyone, in my vocabulary is not and never will be the "S" or "F" word, I do not swear either.


Oh my god thank you. Do you know how much of a turn off is when right off the bat people say Sale. Save. Or that nasty f word Free. Nothing is free in life. So no F word for me either.


;-)
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 973
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 5:28:50 PM

Yes, I am a CATHOLIC ...SO? what do you mean by that comment?
Maybe you think that just because I am a believer I should hide and be quiet about my rights or the right of others.?
Or...maybe you think that because I am a believer I have no right to defend what I think is right and criticize what I think is wrong?
Or...maybe you think that because I am a believer I should behave as stupid? And allow others to do or say whatever?
Is that what you mean by stating, "She is a Catholic"?


Do you also believe in the Catholic view that the man is the boss of the woman?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 974
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 5:36:53 PM
Belle - if you are happy then I am happy for you. I always appreciate your posts and the fact you are wise beyond your years :)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 975
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History
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Posted: 3/23/2016 6:00:02 PM

Belle - if you are happy then I am happy for you. I always appreciate your posts and the fact you are wise beyond your years :)


If that passes for wisdom, Donald Trump would be treated like Confucius in these forums.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 976
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 6:05:13 PM

Do you also believe in the Catholic view that the man is the boss of the woman?


Actually they interpret that with this....but kudos for the attempt at denigrating her pov. ;)


It is clear from Scripture that the husband's being head of his wife does not mean he is to be "boss" or that he is to tdominate his wife. Being "head" means giving his wife sensitive, intelligent leadership. But note: It's to be leadership that grows out of loving consultation between the spouses. As head, the husband provides for and cares for his wife (and of course the children). He bears primary overall responsibility for the family.


I'm pretty sure the 11th and lost commandment was "thou shall not go dutch or covet thy dates purse." ;)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 977
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 6:15:09 PM
Yeah, let's switch to bashing Catholics for a change. Complaining about women wanting money and not responding to messages is getting old.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 978
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 6:57:50 PM

Actually they interpret that with this....but kudos for the attempt at denigrating her pov. ;)


I know. I'm Catholic myself. It's just that she's judging another forum member to be controlling toward a woman when she knows nothing about the guy in real life. Judging people in that way is not very Catholic if you ask me.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 979
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 7:59:25 PM
^
Okay, one more time.


she's judging another forum member to be controlling toward a woman when she knows nothing about the guy in real life.


Can you tell me WHERE in my post I am "judging" him?
"knows nothing about him"... where do I say anything about him that HE already did not write it?
Analyzing "clear" statements is not judging..... It is called POV.




HE posted This: My wife gives me a 42% of her net salary so I can pay down my own credit card debt.


My comment:
Something does not sound right /fair/ here.

She is young compared with "her husband", we all know what happens with men after 60, and we all know what happen with women in the 40's .....lol
She has to work hard while he is online all day
She has to pay back whatever he spent in her AND him from the time he met her.
She must love very much to be in US to accept that unfair deal life is giving her.
I hope she wakes up soon...and.........leaves.........and...... finds a man same age as her, have kids and a normal family.!


Not judging him, my comment was based on what HE said.

as said before, if I think something sounds wrong, I will express my pov. like it or not.!!


 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 980
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 8:27:51 PM

I hope she wakes up soon...and.........leaves.........and...... finds a man same age as her, have kids and a normal family.!
Not judging him, my comment was based on what HE said.


Yes, you were judging him. You judged him to be unworthy of being her husband. You told him you hope his wife leaves him for a younger man. That was an extremely vicious personal attack, and not in keeping with the tenants of your religion.

You don't even know what his credit card expenses are. He could be sending money to her family, for all you know. That attack was uncalled for, and you were 100% wrong.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 981
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 8:31:08 PM
^^^^.April. IMO that whole post you made regarding Dragon and his wife's relationship was out of line and disrespectful. And repeating it above for the second time shows lack of character on your part.

Yes, you can express your POV and others are free to to tell you that they think you're incorrect, full of shit and judgmental. It's our POV.

My Dad's testicles are bigger than Clooney's, BTW.
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 982
who pays
Posted: 3/23/2016 8:47:35 PM

Yes, you were judging him. You judged him to be unworthy of being her husband. You told him you hope his wife leaves him for a younger man. That was an extremely vicious personal attack, and not in keeping with the tenants of your religion.


You can call it whatever you want.!!


but I know it is not personal because I do not know him, just my POV

My religion makes me be compassionate towards others, And maybe some of you are USED to and accept that kind of behavior of your man, but I am NOT, and I think there is some kind of Abuse there.
The woman should not be responsible for paying the man's CC same as a man should not be paying the woman's CC in a relationship.

ETA

Any woman should leaves if there is some kind of abuse...because abuse is not only verbal or physical, it is also abuse if one is taking advantage of the other in the relationship.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 983
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History
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Posted: 3/23/2016 8:50:16 PM

I was not making an argument for someone being independent, I'm making an argument about having choices and not dependent by default.

Which yes, is better than having no choices to do anything nor any platform to become truly independent if need be.

There's no room for 3rd people who want to be the director in other people's relationships.

True, but it's not about being the director, but pointing out if something's not so ideal, healthy, etc. Although it may be contently agreed upon between two people, my point is that it doesn't mean it's balanced, nor ideal for the masses or relationships in general. I don't see your situation as some crazy situation -- no. However, relating it to the original concept of the thread -- I would hope you see it as not on equal footing and to have Appreciation for it, and not "he's a man, he's supposed to." :)

Going back to the main concept of the thread, the real tiff that's had is that some people see the guy paying for virtually all dates as The Way it's supposed to be -- not out of mere taste, but based on personal judgment. On the other side, it's that unless the guy asks to take the gal out on the date -- he's not obligated to pick up her entire bill any more than she is to pick up his... and him paying for almost all dates is not "the way" (which has no backing besides 'just because').
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 984
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 12:37:07 AM
I just wish to remind you folk that time is money. Do some of you even know how many pairs of panties you could have afforded to get into if you had of bought dinners with the time you spent debating this?
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 985
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 3:37:41 AM
I always offer to pay something on a date, whether its the tip or a drink after. Honestly, I can only think of a few occasions that a man has ever taken money from me.
I wonder if OP will come back to this thread and let everyone know if he is still with the lady? My guess would say yes.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 986
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 5:36:43 AM
I'm thinking her loving must be real good, as well as the lack of other options he has.

He's probably putting in more time at the office.

vvvvvv

Lighten up Francis...
 Spiritousmistinhabits
Joined: 3/10/2016
Msg: 987
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 5:41:41 AM
If the men happily offer -- whether it's one date, five dates, or throughout the entire dating/courtship agreement -- then it's their decision; and, that decision rests solely with the people involved in that arrangement; not you, nor me, not certain trolls, in this thread. Period.

Sex-shaming women because they accept dinner invitations for what they are ( dinner invitations) and attempting to undermine their choice-making agency to decide what happens through the course of this private agreement and in their lives, is abominable, monstrous, and it's indicative of a certain personality.
 VikingHoosier
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 988
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 6:08:20 AM
0. Bring up the issue when and only when it's appropriate.

It would be difficult to imagine anything new on this issue, so my 2 cents is no doubt repeating what others said in the past.

The man paying is an obsolete custom from the dark ages when women didn't have jobs and lived with their parents until they got married. When a man courted a woman, she typically focused on just one suitor at a time. He occasionally took her out and paid for both people, but she contributed a lot by preparing meals at home and for picnics, making clothes, and other worthwhile domestic abilities.

The other scenario is the oldest profession. No doubt many people have already equated paying for a date to purchasing the services of a concubine.

Worst are the scammers who behave as if they will pay their way, then they sneak off to the restroom and climb out the window when the check arrives, or they "forget" their wallet, purse, credit card. The only ways I know to protect against a meal whore:
1) Do not go anywhere there's a bill / tab unless someone gives you the maximum amount of cash that could be spent at that location.
2) Go to a place where you know the staff and that they will take separate checks.

My favorite solution is to do things with no cost.

Late last year, just before Xmas, had an ideal first meet. We agreed to meet at a Panera. She got there first and ordered her stuff and was at a table when I arrived. Meeting at a "coffee" type location and having the first person buy their stuff and pick a table, then the second person arrives, they identify each other (because their profile pics are honest), a quick introduction, then the second person orders something and sits down with the first person. Each paid their own way. If they don't see each other again, no regrets.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 989
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 6:14:10 AM

If the men happily offer -- whether it's one date, five dates, or throughout the entire dating/courtship agreement -- then it's their decision; and, that decision rests solely with the people involved in that arrangement; not you, nor me, not certain trolls, in this thread. Period.


For the millionth time, if a man wants to pay for the all the dates, that's his right. But that is different than a woman that expects a man to pay for every date and never offers.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 990
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 6:15:50 AM
Whadeva you do,

watch out for those gals that choose a place where you order and pay at the counter before seating.

She orders and quickly goes to get napkins. I don't even know her favorite color yet. WTF?!

If I invite, I choose the venue for now on.

Laying down...the law.

Wow! Eternity is gone again?

I missed her soliloquys...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 991
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 6:17:21 AM

Complaining about women wanting money and not responding to messages is getting old.


So is complaining about men being "cheap", using coupons on a date, just looking for sex, or getting emails from men that you ( generic ) aren't interested in.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 992
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History
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Posted: 3/24/2016 6:58:36 AM

AprilovesrosasblancasNOW, about my comment on the person who asks his wife to pay His CC debt, I would not change anything I said, because what I wrote is what I think.


I was worried maybe people would think I was prostituting myself for money. Do you think that is part of why you are upset with this?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 993
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 7:30:46 AM
(Msg 1006): " Meeting at a "coffee" type location...."

I noticed that some of the women who are of the belief that a man must pay the entire bill for every date are totally against something cheap like a coffee date. They would never step foot in a place like a coffee shop to meet someone and would turn down an invitation to meet there. Their idea of a date is free meals and free drinks, and the more a man spends on a date, the more he is valued as a "real" man. Some use the excuse "I don't like coffee." The coffee shops I know of sell a lot more than just coffee. They have as much selection as a diner. But it's the idea that's a turn-off. Maybe they're more concerned with impressing their girlfriends by telling them a guy she met was willing to spend a ton of money on her.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 994
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 7:58:49 AM

.............a relationship is something that takes place between two people, and both have to be satisfied and in agreement with what is or not taking place.


Ms Belle, Aunty Red here. I'd send you a private message, but you are too young for me, LOL
I am truly happy for you. I hope your health, allows for you and the man in your life to be happy for years and years.
No two relationships are the same and you are oh so correct, ".............between two people, .....both have to be satisfied, ...in agreement.............."

LOL Makes sense to me!

Sir Dragon, The other side here, LOL (of Lake Michigan), Aside from your silly notion that one can wear white socks with sandals, (still cracks me up) I think you and your wife are doing just fine. Who are we to decide what she should or should not do with her income?
The above quote from Belle, says it all!
Have a great, albeit rainy day! Sure beats the snow some folks are getting this week!
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 995
who pays
Posted: 3/24/2016 8:25:21 AM
Over a thousand posts and the war rages on. :/

If you want to pay....pay.

If you don't want to pay....don't pay.

If you do pay....pay because you want too..not because you feel you have to....you can tell the difference.

If you don't pay, do it because you think that's only fair in your eyes not because you think she's using you.

Either way neither choice gives you the right to unreasonable expectations of the other by virtue of simply having a coffee, date, dinner, lunch or drink however you choose to label it.

I pay because I enjoy their company and don't want the issue of whether or not they can afford it at the time to be a determining factor in them deciding to accept or not. I've never dated destitute women so their ability TO pay has never entered into the picture. Experience has shown me that if the dating continues with a woman the financial aspect equals out in the long run. But initially since I'm the one asking... I'll pay. Old school I know. ;)
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