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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 1096
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who paysPage 44 of 58    (18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58)

dragonbytes
Back ~30 years ago, I took my fiancée on a business trip around the USA.



ohenryx I never did anything like that. When I was younger, and traveled for business, that would have been like “coal to Newcastle”. I seemed to always find someone to “hook up” with when I was only in town for a few days.

Women who think it is a bad idea to have an “office romance”, because they have to see you every day after they break up with you – they absolutely love not having to break up, knowing that you will be gone after 2 or 3 or 4 days. Or at least this was true back in the 70’s and early 80’s. No idea what it’s like these days.


I was out of business for maybe a total of 500 days so it was more like a way of life for me. A few trips with GF's is a nice change. Besides, call me old fashioned, but do I need to jump into bed with a strange woman before getting married?

To your larger point, I did feel like it was a get out of jail free card where I could date someone and be assured that we would have an easy parting of the ways.

But I didn't often date on trips. I could claim the short man tall man meme, and I do believe you have more "game" than I do, but the main reason is the nature of my trips.

I seldom went to an office, or was at my own company. If I went to my own company, it was usually in a telecom office which is 95% tech guys, very few women telecom techs.
Most often I traveled to other companies, but again, I was in the basement with switch equipment babysitting the equipment or troubleshooting some problem the local tech people couldn't handle. Or teaching telecom classes to a bunch of telecom techs.

Most opportunity to date women would be in bars or maids.

However, I dated women where I worked in Tulsa OK and Bethesda Md

In Bethesda I was in the Marriott headquarters as they were building it, only constructions workers were there. I hooked up with a female construction worker for a bout 6 weeks. All in all, very interesting experience, dating a construction worker, attending the end of construction party and playing poker with the guys.

In Tulsa, I forget how I met her, I was in the American Airlines building, they had a lot of security, you had to weigh in and weigh out in a compartment with two doors, the floor was a scale, and you couldn't move between floors. There were a group of mostly women taking airline reservations in a call center on my floor.

I rarely made the more traditional business trip consisting of team building, management meetings or conferences, and I seldom knew the people I would be working with in advance of the trip.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1097
who says
Posted: 5/5/2016 10:33:52 AM

I tried making those stained glass cookies, you know, smash up the Lifesavers ..............


This is funny. My kids and I did make these cookies. Now, when you took the cookie sheet out of the oven, you quickly learned to let the cookies cool completely, or.............what a mess!
Then we hung these cookies on the Christmas tree, BAD idea. The warmth of the tree lights, caused the candy part of the cookie to melt and drip. Again, what a mess!

The Tupperware popsicle makers, LOL have a life of their own. They live forever in yard/garage sales!

LOL Yah I know I am off topic. A little diversion from "who pays" page 46.
 Rooftop123423
Joined: 11/2/2016
Msg: 1098
who pays
Posted: 11/8/2016 1:54:24 AM

She is 50 with a school aged child at home.


Hmm I'm 47 and will be 48 in a few months and this woman claiming to be traditional is bull crap. Women only become traditional when it suits them but they have no problem when feminism has benefited them.
I would kick her to the curb. I think first meet should be coffee just to see if you're even interested in taking further. Second should be a few drinks nothing more and then a 3rd date is actual date with meals.
If she is traditional is she baking some goodies? Making some meals for you? My step mother is a real traditional woman. She never had sex before marriage and she is submissive to my father. My step mother also cook for 2 to 3 days for 18 to 20 hours a day. I doubt many so called traditional women do that. And when she was earning money it was their money not separate bank accounts.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1099
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 11:02:13 AM
paying should be reserved for a woman who you're actually serious about. too many "dinner whores" and entitled women out here who want to be liberal and feminist but still believe men should pay for them just because they have a vagina. Equality is only a good idea when it fits their narrative. If you suggest a "cheap date" such as a coffee shop or walk in the park and she balks at the idea, you've weeded out the trash.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 1100
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 2:02:56 PM

paying should be reserved for a woman who you're actually serious about. too many "dinner whores" and entitled women out here who want to be liberal and feminist but still believe men should pay for them just because they have a vagina. Equality is only a good idea when it fits their narrative. If you suggest a "cheap date" such as a coffee shop or walk in the park and she balks at the idea, you've weeded out the trash.


This, I agree with 100%. Unfortunately, a few examples of these entitlement princesses are floating around in the forums. There's one in particular that I had an issue with recently, due to her statement that women who contribute to the cost of dates "enjoy being treated as less than they should". Nothing could be further from the truth.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 1101
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 2:17:41 PM

too many "dinner whores" and entitled women out here who want to be liberal and feminist but still believe men should pay for them just because they have a vagina. Equality is only a good idea


Oh you are so wonderful and you took the words right out of my mouth:))))))
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 1102
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 4:31:49 PM

paying should be reserved for a woman who you're actually serious about. too many "dinner whores" and entitled women out here who want to be liberal and feminist but still believe men should pay for them just because they have a vagina. Equality is only a good idea when it fits their narrative. If you suggest a "cheap date" such as a coffee shop or walk in the park and she balks at the idea, you've weeded out the trash.


This did make me smile and had to paste the whole comment...not the first time we have agreed...so glad good women like you are on here...please post on here more

halcyon_skies big thumbs up to you too
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1103
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:48:12 PM

This did make me smile and had to paste the whole comment...not the first time we have agreed...so glad good women like you are on here...please post on here more


Lol, not so fast. I used to be a super liberal SJW feminist and some of those ideals still resonate with me BUT I've also become more conservative & red-pill-y. I like to acknowledge positive parts of both sides & disregard the bullshit.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1104
who pays
Posted: 6/14/2017 6:56:26 PM

There's one in particular that I had an issue with recently, due to her statement that women who contribute to the cost of dates "enjoy being treated as less than they should". Nothing could be further from the truth.


Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know who you're referring to. I have my own money and am financially stable. I can pay my own way. It's not about enjoying "being treated as less" than whatever. I understand that if I first meet a guy, I am not his top priority. He is not mine either. Hell, investments on my car & 401K come before any new guy I meet. Being someone's top priority takes time and commitment. You shouldn't expect that on a first date/meet.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1105
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 12:33:45 AM
If it is a first date and not a first meet I would be comfortable with the guy paying the bill and then subsequently either going dutch or reciprocating in some way. Some women however get all bent out of shape when a guy expects or accepts her half of the bill despite the fact she has offered. Sometimes she wants to pay her share as she is not interested in seeing him again. Men of the old school or older generation dont feel comfortable accepting a woman's share of the bill and so it should be accepted gracefully.

 Moon_Rocket
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 1106
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 2:45:50 AM
(Sigh) I wonder if the op is still around as this post is years old. my two cents worth? I like a first date to occur during the day and just for a coffee or light lunch. If things go swimmingly, we would progress on to dinner and even to a club or dancing later. I would pay for everything. If the date did not progress in this fashion, and the lady insisted that she pay for half the freight I would take it as read that she is not into me and say bye bye. As I am a good cook I really don't take her to restaurants after that. My dinners are pretty fabulous, we can drink without fear of the booze bus, she ain't going home and funny thing is, that ladies usually ask me out to dinner if they want to go out after that and they always want to pay, so I let them, but! I insist on providing the tip, and buying the drinks. Works for me.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1107
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 10:38:43 AM

paying should be reserved for a woman who you're actually serious about.

Serious on what level though? One reason why some guys will staunchly want to pay, is that the gal seemingly serious about wanting to split it will give him the impression she's not-that-interested aka not serious about Him. :) That's when some gals will say "Well, when I offer to split it, a lot of guys insist they got it, which leads me to just say OK." But how many underneath it all were Faux Offers aka "offering" to be "polite"? Guys tend to err on the side of avoiding that trap.

But when the gal is convincingly honest about it -- or insists when the guy says No-I-Got-It on what could have been seen as a faux offer -- she should swiftly Explain for peace of mind that she's not doing it because she's nixing the idea to ever go out again, but that's just how she rolls. Ideally, the gal should just say she likes to split things or you-got-the-coffee/I-got-the-ice-cream initially, so whether she ends up that interested or not, it's not going to be a weird situation.

entitled women out here who want to be liberal and feminist but still believe men should pay for them just because they have a vagina.

I'm glad you said that. There is cultural contradictions out there -- but many don't realize it because it goes by the "so many other good people do it, therefore it can't be bad". But yeah, it's a contradiction to be Independent, yet, feel Entitled to be payed for, for going out with the guy (but I'll cook you something if/when we're dating and you're at my place, as a common response).

If you suggest a "cheap date" such as a coffee shop or walk in the park and she balks at the idea, you've weeded out the trash.

I agree. I think a coffee shop or ice cream shop date -- that's where the guy can't complain about "forking" much $$ when he's paying for it all. And I am 100% fine with a guy paying for the 1st date under common conditions where he initiated it without even explicitly asking to Take her out. But yeah, keeping it as a simple get-to-know-ya date and not a Dinner Date would be ideal. And if she insists on a Dinner Date instead, that's a sign that she got at least a little Entitlement Syndrome if she also is "traditional". Some gals forget that it Does fit the "traditional" mode for a boy & girl to have a quaint simple date as a 1st. Some mistakenly think what momma-says in their family circle is tradition for all.

But I will say that a guy should pay when it's the 1st date under common circumstances, and for any date he's chasing her and asking to take her out (ie following-thru). But if he's racking up too many dates where he's asking to Take her out -- that's an indicator of trying to win over a gal who lacks interest. Even without being so serious about the gal -- a guy will want to cover at least most of a bill (minus tip or the like), because he can be fearful of word-gets-around. "Oh, Steve's cheap, don't go out with him." Plus, even though many guys will conceptually Disagree with the notion of always paying -- they can feel like they Are lacking something due to cultural conditioning. And even when that's not so much the case -- he'll many times do it to not fall short on dating market value out there.
 PinkyAndTheBrain83
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 1108
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 4:48:10 PM
I would suggest before going on dates with women in the future discuss this with the woman first hand. That way there will be no confusing and will save both a lot of headaches.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1109
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 5:02:35 PM
LOL Pinky, ^ ^ ^ ^ ^Are you suggesting, grown-ups act.............well .....like "grown ups"? Mature adults? Is it possible?

Use the spoken word and discuss, come to an agreement prior to the "moment"? (of pay or else?)

Surely you jest!
(Just kidding with you. I agree with you totally)
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 1110
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 5:22:24 PM
It's very simple really? Pay for yourself and stay independent, until a relationship starts to develop and then take it in turns to pay for both of you...that way no one owes anyone anything...

There is No hidden rule from the dark ages, about men having to pay for women...nope it's a pure myth...maybe back, then when women where not earning, I can understand a man paying, but these are modern times...women have all the rights a man has got and many. many more ontop...

if you have seen my videos, then you will know, what I'm talking about...so if anything the women, should be paying for the men, instead of sitting on the throne, like self entitled princesses and expecting, a man to open his pot of gold and give it to them

Women make enough money to pay for themselves and fuck what society say's about men being cheap, if they don't pay for a woman...well guess what? women are just as cheap, if they don't pay for a man....it should work both ways...but the double standard still exists, for some unknown reason and I'm getting rather sick of it TBH

Why does society value women more than men? Because they can have babies and increase the population and men can't...that's why and men have been getting a raw deal, for so long now...we want to be treated as equals and fairly, but we are judged by the acts of a few...women don't get that rap...that's why I post the videos I do...to expose the bad women, who do bad things...because no one else will expose them

Women get praise and encouragement...while men get labelled rapists and murders...society needs fixing...it's rotten and sexist against men
 Maria11418
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 1111
who pays
Posted: 6/15/2017 6:09:33 PM
Why are women valued higher?... if this is what humanity has been doing across the globe for thousands of years, don't kill your nerve cells trying to fight it. Work with it.
 wunderfulguy
Joined: 1/6/2017
Msg: 1112
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 11:50:07 AM
I offer to pay if I invite or split.

Last time the date paid for my drink out of courtesy because she had flaked on me and felt bad.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1113
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 2:00:15 PM

I would suggest before going on dates with women in the future discuss this with the woman first hand.

And a woman would be just as responsible to discuss it with a guy first hand. Good luck either party talking about it like that before ever meeting. :)

Women make enough money to pay for themselves and **** what society say's about men being cheap, if they don't pay for a woman...well guess what? women are just as cheap

It's a one-sided mindset with some, because they're culturally Conditioned that way, backed up by many peers around them following thru to one degree or another. It's not going to break. And if everybodys-doing-it -- it's not just unquestionably OK, but Positive to most who are on the beneficial side of it, if it as the T word mixed into it (tradition).

And Yeah, one can't call a person cheap because they question paying for virtually all the other's outings, just because if/when in a Relationship, they themselves aim to occasionally cook them both a dinner and the like (like grown up offspring may do for their parents or something). The person who's calling the other cheap -- who is just wanting to have a somewhat level the playing field -- is being the cheap one.... Unless that other person Does owe them that, due to special circumstances. However, folks will play the "tradition" card, where it's not So much tradition. Guys historically paying for all the outings has been largely due to Practicality, because for most of Western civilization, women by and large were not to have nor aim to have careers, and couldn't support themselves anyway. So someone had to pay - lol. It's the tradition of honorable women being barefoot & prego and not in the workforce.

I'm fine with the notion of the guy "leading the dance". And in the pre-going-steady phase, yeah, it's something of a "dance". I have no problem with the notion that the wind blows on the guy's side. But that doesn't mean the gal sits at a table with cards showing 1 - 10 to rate him, while he dances For her solo like he's on American Idol or something. :) A guy paying for all or virtually all outings is far more than "leading a dance". It takes two to tango.

With that said though -- and my previous reference to this "tradition" really being more about practicality -- guys will come across some women who do struggle to support themselves (or really can't). In that case, where he's not living paycheck to paycheck, yeah -- for practicality sake if he wants to date her, he should cover the lions share each time, and the gal, for the sake of appreciation, getting the two ice cream cones or coffees/sodas when at the zoo together. The Problem is, "tradition" applies this to All women, as if All are in this same boat, which they're not. IMO, it should be a case by case basis -- just like anything else regardless of who-pays (like mutual-likes in stuff to do, etc).
 wunderfulguy
Joined: 1/6/2017
Msg: 1114
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 4:03:39 PM
Right on! Totally agree. A friendly meet and greet in a public place is good ice breaker and costs little to nothing.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 1115
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 6:16:02 PM
Yep no diner dates...casual meet and greet...at a pub/bar/café...glass of juice, wine, a coffee...chit chat...little expense and no expectations...if a woman insists on going on a dinner date, then simply tell her, that it's too early in the game and let's get to know each other first and see if we have the chemistry....meet and greet, should weed out, most of the gold diggers and serial daters...keep it causal for 3 dates and see where it leads
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1116
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 7:09:03 PM
Halcyon, Didn't you say your bf pays for all of your outings?

Are there really women who date for dinners? A woman could buy a Costco chicken for $4.99 and eat that for 4 days and then make chicken soup from it. Chicken with 2 sides of veggies, what does that come to, $2 a day? Women are using men for $2 and men feel used because they think they saved a women from making her own dinner? OMG, women are pocketing $2, over and over again, the travesty! Two dollars every few weeks that a woman may save, that would come to $50 a year. Wow, what a user, now she can go out and be extravagant on his dime, maybe buy herself a pair of sneakers if they're on sale, LOL!

All this talk is about a guy not wanting to have fun, because if a woman wanted to go to concerts, museums, movies, etc and paid for herself, the cheap guy would still have to pay for himself and a cheap guy just wants to sit at home watching the grass grow. When I say cheap, it's not about a guy paying for everything, it's about him not wanting to have fun in life that would involve him paying for himself. Why is the focus on dinner anyway? I've got great kayaking by me, I don't need to sit in a restaurant eating.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 1117
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 7:29:37 PM
I expect a home cooked meal by date 3
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1118
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 7:48:42 PM
pinky

and suggesting that you go dutch on the first meet will weed out the gals that guys say are "meal whores".
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 1119
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 7:50:36 PM
clooneys

I think the woman should definitely be reciprocating in some way but not necessarily have you in her home on date 3.
Some may not be comfortable with that.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1120
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/17/2017 9:07:19 PM
A few examples of dinner whores...

http://nypost.com/2006/01/12/meet-the-dinner-whores-he-pays-the-bill-she-has-no-apologies/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2298186/I-dinner-whore-Confessions-fashionista-cruised-Craigslist--dates-just-free-meals.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2298186/I-dinner-whore-Confessions-fashionista-cruised-Craigslist--dates-just-free-meals.html


Is it a Noo Yawk thing?
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