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 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 1171
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^^^
Do tell! Legal? I thought Parumph was the only place in the USA where it is legal!

Giving a toothless lil ole lady $5 for a gum job is cheap(er) but is it legal?

No offense to the lil ole lady, but you get what you pay for ;0P
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 1172
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 7:00:54 AM
There are swinger / sex clubs that are legal in the US. The quality of the people there can vary. But sometimes a man can end up having sex with a good looking woman.

 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 1173
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 7:06:57 AM

Most men who date have an end goal of SEX.

Well... umm.... I mean if I start dating a man and the stars align that is my end goal too. I don't want to just date endlessly. Dates are foreplay. I joked around about touching and teasing and whatnot at dinner in another thread but honestly??? That is one of the best parts of dating. All that sexual tension and witty banter. Knowing what the next step is. Anticipation. If he doesn't want to have sex with me why are we dating? If I don't want to have sex with him why are we dating? It is the natural progression.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 1174
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 7:17:12 AM

Well... umm.... I mean if I start dating a man and the stars align that is my end goal too. I don't want to just date endlessly. Dates are foreplay. I joked around about touching and teasing and whatnot at dinner in another thread but honestly??? That is one of the best parts of dating. All that sexual tension and witty banter. Knowing what the next step is. Anticipation. If he doesn't want to have sex with me why are we dating? If I don't want to have sex with him why are we dating? It is the natural progression.
You cleared that up nicely:) Of course the end game should sex...why else would people have romantic relationships, instead of just friendships?
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 1175
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 7:40:40 AM

There are swinger / sex clubs that are legal in the US. The quality of the people there can vary. But sometimes a man can end up having sex with a good looking woman.

Well, there you go! But how often is it "sometimes" ? ;0P


Most men who date have an end goal of SEX.

Well... umm.... I mean if I start dating a man and the stars align that is my end goal too. I don't want to just date endlessly. Dates are foreplay. I joked around about touching and teasing and whatnot at dinner in another thread but honestly??? That is one of the best parts of dating. All that sexual tension and witty banter. Knowing what the next step is. Anticipation. If he doesn't want to have sex with me why are we dating? If I don't want to have sex with him why are we dating? It is the natural progression.


If you read the forums (or heard the truth IRL) you also see that there can be a whole lot of dating going on w/ NO SEX, period. Nada. Both genders.


You cleared that up nicely:) Of course the end game should sex...why else would people have romantic relationships, instead of just friendships?

I cannot speak for all of the millions out there, only for myself. I remarried over a year ago & am here only for the forums. Over a 20 year span, I did the majority of my relationships organically, not through OLD. However, when I did meet some men from OLD, many had ulterior motives. Many of my friends experienced the same.

Some wanted a place to stay/a person to co-habit with. A person w/ $$ or income, a companion, a babysitter, to get an ex jealous. Someone to cook & clean for them. A plethora of sneaky BS.

I posted earlier in this thread based on the fact that some men complain about having to spend SOME $$$ on dates. If they don't want to , then they shouldn't & date women who pay or stay home & whack-off.

It's their choice, just as it was my choice to do as I pleased.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 1176
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 8:08:03 AM
I didn't know height or weight or who pays were an issue until I came here.
In real life, it's never been an issue for me.
I guess those wimmins that eat out with men they don't like just for the food
have made it difficult for those of us that always assumed we'd share or we'd
just ask or we'd just go with the flow or whatever.

If you want to simplify your dating life, take it outside...of the internet.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 1177
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 8:34:08 AM

The more you talk about dating and money, the more your level of generosity rises. It makes me wonder how truthful you are being.


What you think of my truthfulness is of no consequence. What men think is what counts--and since I've been successful in attracting and keeping a man in my life in middle age, I doubt that my generosity is an issue.


According to the men here, you shouldn't even accept a guy paying.


Maybe according to some men, however, other men have expressed that they don't mind paying, as long as the woman offers to contribute and reciprocates in the dating expenses from time to time. Again, it's the sense of entitlement some women have that the man should always pay, that some men object to.


Men of our age and older just don't expect women to ask them out and certainly do not expect them to pay for the date. You may not see it, but the men consider that to be desperate and not respect you the way they should. This is just the way men of our era were raised.


That's complete and utter bull. Men do not think with one hive mind---they are all different. Not all men were raised the same way, in families where the mother didn't work and the father provided for the family. Some men are products of divorce and were raised by single parents. Some men are retired at our age and are on a fixed income, while others are still working.

If a man thought it showed desperation for me to invite him out and pay for the date, he was not the right man for me. Period. There were plenty of other men out there who were actually flattered.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 1178
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 8:54:01 AM
WIP wrote:

I pay for my crap, you pay for yours


P2P bathrooms? Another area of "who pays" quibbling, I guess.

"I'll pick up the drinks and the crap you just took, you pick up the dinner and tip."

But who craps while on a date? Bad etiquette.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 1179
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 9:14:52 AM

Well, there you go! But how often is it "sometimes" ?


Exactly how often can depend on several factors including how attractive he is, his attitude / personality, how the sociable the other people there are etc. Having said that, most respectful decent looking men at swinger / sex clubs probably wouldn't have a problem with finding good looking women to have sex with.
 Wilkes_Barre_Candy
Joined: 9/7/2016
Msg: 1180
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 9:22:04 AM

But who craps while on a date? Bad etiquette.


Truffle Butter Lovers.



Well, there you go! But how often is it "sometimes" ?


Exactly how often can depend on several factors including how attractive he is, his attitude / personality, how the sociable the other people there are etc. Having said that, most respectful decent looking men at swinger / sex clubs probably wouldn't have a problem with finding good looking women to have sex with.


I am sure that is true, but if the same man is striking out on OLD, he may not be attractive &/or have a good personality. And if he was good looking & nice, he wouldn't HAVE to use a swing club, unless that was his preference.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1181
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 9:42:02 AM

There are swinger / sex clubs that are legal in the US. The quality of the people there can vary. But sometimes a man can end up having sex with a good looking woman.


Single men are typically banned from those kinds of establishments. Even if they're not, there's still the "creep" factor, whether it's valid or not. Swinger clubs/parties want couples and single women in attendance.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 1182
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 9:58:01 AM

I am sure that is true, but if the same man is striking out on OLD, he may not be attractive &/or have a good personality. And if he was good looking & nice, he wouldn't HAVE to use a swing club, unless that was his preference.


"unless that was his preference." Bingo. Cut to the chase.


Single men are typically banned from those kinds of establishments. Even if they're not, there's still the "creep" factor, whether it's valid or not. Swinger clubs/parties want couples and single women in attendance.


Some swinger / sex clubs don't allow single men. Some will have a limit on the amount of single men that can go. Others won't have any limits. However the price for single men is relatively much higher compared to single women and couples. That will filter out many single men without having an official limit.
 IBup4it
Joined: 6/15/2017
Msg: 1183
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 10:06:58 AM

other men have expressed that they don't mind paying, as long as the woman offers to contribute and reciprocates in the dating expenses from time to time. Again, it's the sense of entitlement some women have that the man should always pay, that some men object to.


How hard is it to just offer and show you are willing to pay for yourself. Some guys might accept it I dont but it makes me feel real good to have a woman offer. I thank her for offer but insist on covering it I like to know she is not a princess with self-entitlement issues.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 1184
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 10:26:58 AM
I swear some ppl haven't be on a date in so long they wouldn't remember who should pay. But then suddenly they are dating gurus LOL.
If you have to nickel and dime then simply ask her over to netflix and chill. She' ll decline but
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 1185
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 10:38:31 AM

I didn't know height or weight or who pays were an issue until I came here.


Sometimes I wonder where some of you people grew up.

I grew up in the greater Los Angeles metro area, and I have known about the height and weight and who pays stuff since high school.
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 1186
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 10:41:00 AM

Maybe according to some men, however, other men have expressed that they don't mind paying, as long as the woman offers to contribute and reciprocates in the dating expenses from time to time. Again, it's the sense of entitlement some women have that the man should always pay, that some men object to.


I couldn't agree with this anymore. When a man does accept my offer to split the bill or pay for the whole thing, it doesn't change what I think about him.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1187
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who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 10:51:02 AM

Norwegian Guy, that's the way things have gone for me for decades. A few dates and the guy is crashing at my place.

Well, we're talking about Universal Rules in the dating scene as a whole on a very basic boy-girl level. My point is, the common ritual or expectation in the dating scene as a whole is NOT At All to have 2-3 dates, and for 80-90% of the remaining time, to be held at the female's house where she buys & cooks everything, and he gets a free ride -- while he comes close to equalizing it by taking her out occasionally. That's not the description you'd say how boys & girls roll in society. At all.

Do said situations exist where by date #3 or #4 he's crashing and 80-90% of the time it's at her place on Her dime in buying & cooking for them both? Yeah. There's all sorts of situations in all sorts of directions that are off the trend map. But that doesn't mean you take your off-key common dating scenarios and therefore proclaim for all men & women that man-always-pays when going out because under Your Unique setups, it Does equalize. So yeah, If what you're saying is true in your dating scenarios -- that it Always falls in line with that as a ritual -- then sure, it should be, within that cloud, a ritual that he pays every time (and to make sure he takes you out enough to not make it so one-sided in the end!).

But again, like it or not, that's not At All how common dating practices unfold. So one can't place any Universal "who pays" rules for all guys & gals in the dating scene because of your outlier.

Would you agree that in a common dating landscape in general, whether it be going out, getting takeout, cooking together, one-cooks/other-doesn't, switching places, going out to fancy places once in a while, going out to chill non-expensive places periodically, etc etc -- whatever the trend they end up following -- that the guy and gal should both contribute (no counting pennies) at least close to on the same level $$-expensive wise, within each of their means?
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 1188
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:09:28 AM

Sometimes I wonder where some of you people grew up.

I grew up in the greater Los Angeles metro area, and I have known about the height and weight and who pays stuff since high school.


Haha, talk about sheltered and naive.

I grew up in SoCal too but I don't think region has much to do with it. It's common knowledge that broke, short men and obese women are at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to dating & mating. I'm not saying it's justified but it's the way the cookie crumbles.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 1189
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:24:46 AM

I grew up in the greater Los Angeles metro area, and I have known about the height and weight
and who pays stuff since high school.


I grew up in Massachusetts.
Height and weight and who pays was never an issue for me.
Never an issue in the short time I dated, and certainly never an
issue while I was married.

But yeah, it's an issue here.
People in real life have never complained about my height or my weight
and I've never had an argument about paying, nor have I ever felt like I was
taken advantage of...or that I took advantage of someone else. I've never had
someone who asked me out ask me to pay or object when I did.

I guess my life experiences are just different.
*shrug*
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 1190
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:39:13 AM

I grew up in Massachusetts.
Height and weight and who pays was never an issue for me.
Never an issue in the short time I dated, and certainly never an
issue while I was married.

But yeah, it's an issue here.
People in real life have never complained about my height or my weight
and I've never had an argument about paying, nor have I ever felt like I was
taken advantage of...or that I took advantage of someone else. I've never had
someone who asked me out ask me to pay or object when I did.

I guess my life experiences are just different.
*shrug*

Yup. I have lived in the Carolinas, Ga, Wa, and Fl.
Height, weight, and who pays have never been an issue.
I believe some people make everything much more difficult than it needs to be. They are their own worse enemies.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 1191
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:45:04 AM
In my experience, height, weight, and who pays are probably bigger issues online. But I wouldn't say these things are completely meaningless offline.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 1192
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History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:46:53 AM
NG, you are still doing the petty thing and focusing on money too much. People think I am, but I am not, because I am not looking to be taken out and have money spent on me with what my interests are. I would rather do casual dining if a man suggests going out to dinner, but that is just me. Absolutely nothing wrong if a couple wants to go to high-end restaurants or have any other kinds of expensive dates. Also, nothing wrong if men or women are materialistic. I am not materialistic but I don't care if people enjoy having things. You make your money so that you can be comfortable in life, and some people like to have a lot of stuff and there is nothing wrong with that, because everyone spends their money the way they want to after working hard for it.

However, I do agree with what you said about spending money commensurate with what each person has for an income. When I had money and my ex didn't because he was a student, I paid for everything. It was not an issue for me. Now that I am older and we all tend to have more money from having worked and some people are still working, I don't expect someone to be cheap, because those people are very uncomfortable to be with when they're always looking at every penny being spent and sometimes they even look at the money you spend in your life. The focus is always on women using men, but there are a whole lot of men that want to use women for various reasons and no one wants to talk about that.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 1193
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 11:56:56 AM
I grew up in Canada and I didn't know that height and weight were issues until I came online either - I saw short guys with women and slim people with obese people EVERYWHERE !

There were no fat jokes or short jokes - everyone just got along and there was sunshine , lollipops and rainbows every day !


But that all changed.....when online dating came along .....


DAMN YOU ONLINE DATING !

DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL !

( pounds the sand on a beach before half a demolished statue of online dating liberty )
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 1194
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 12:12:01 PM

But that all changed.....when online dating came along ....


I think every generation has it's thing.
I'm also old (as is fullmoonguy ) and we didn't have online business
when I was growing up. Sure there were short people and yeah there were
fat people, but we couldn't wear pants to school for pete's sake. We had to
wear dresses and the guys had to wear shirts and ties...those were our issues.
We were just getting out of the vietnam war, we had hippies and woodstock
and communes and give peace a chance.

We hung around in parks and drove our shytebox cars to lovers lane and snuck
under the gate to get in closed beaches so we could drink ripple and boone's farm.
We didn't have no stinking money! I was married in 1971 thru 2001...so I missed
those years of dating.

Short people and fat people ran around not knowing they were causing
problems or would in fact in the future be a basis for a whole generation of
daters to wonder WTF!

So yeah, damn you online dating!
(kicks Mr. Butters sandcastle over)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 1195
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 6/22/2017 12:38:18 PM

( pounds the sand on a beach before half a demolished statue of online dating liberty )

Online Dating Liberty??? Tell me more! Was she lying about her age, weight, and donning a wig? Did she refuse to spend a penny because she was worth it? You know... there are theories out there that say the model for the Statue of Liberty was a man (Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi’s brother)!
*kicks over the sand castle Boo missed*
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