Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 183
view profile
History
who paysPage 8 of 58    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

'Cause... This generation was raised by the generation before it? I remember as a teenager asking my mother to spot me a few dollars to go for lunch with a boy. She was truly appalled - I almost felt ashamed.


How did he get money?
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 184
who pays
Posted: 12/30/2015 6:26:49 PM

Eat only at restaurants that offer 2 for 1 meal coupons.Then think of it as paying full price for your meal, and hers is the free one.If and when SHE starts complaining about that, YOU tell HER that it is too soon for HER to be complaining about that.


Really.?
 BlackOnyx48
Joined: 12/6/2015
Msg: 185
who pays
Posted: 12/30/2015 6:52:09 PM
For Christ Sake....stop begging for dinner...just take her out less !!!
And where did you pay $20.00 for two people to eat...McDonalds ?
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 186
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 12/30/2015 8:08:28 PM

blackonyx48 says:
For Christ Sake....stop begging for dinner...just take her out less !!!
And where did you pay $20.00 for two people to eat...McDonalds ?


It doesn't have to be McDonald's.

I can easily get $10 take out Chinese vegetarian dinners (many simple varieties such as tofu and broccoli, including brown rice and beverage). Meat options availabe too: beef, pork, shrimp etc. If the OP and date prepare the other weekly dinner after she bought all the ingredients, and kept a store of fish filets for him just in case, he'd actually come out ahead expense wise . He could do a dine out restaurant every other week although his dating plan seems very boring if that's the only way they spend time together.

Yes, it's that simple if money or shared expense were the problem. I suspect it's not.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 187
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 12/30/2015 8:37:37 PM

drinkthesunwithmyface says:
Ok now wait...I've noticed something mostly slip by whenever there's a thread on this subject...

Just noticed this?


...whenever someone says that when they don't want a second date or see no interest or chemistry they will pay 'their part' of things...

Paying when there is an already accepted invitation is one traditional way to turn off a courtship.


...are we establishing that if she does perceive interest and does want a second date, then that means that either he has to pick up the whole tab or she expects him to?? I wonder why that is.

Traditional courship etiquette; the woman "perceives" [the man's] interest by his invitation to a second date (or the next). If she is interested she accepts. Neither "has to do" anything.

But... [this is how some contemporaries do] she could be quick like a bunny and head him off and invite him to the next date; then she would "pick up the whole tab." Now both have a chance to be treated. Of course this isn't a traditional courtship in which the man is the pursuer until he has won her heart but it's not bad. I say people do what they want to do and find ways to work together. I personally like something a little different from the two dates above;however, a little more complicated and it would take a bit longer to describe.

From another thread but apropos:

New dating rules
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16484626.aspx
Posted: 12/28/2015 1206 AM
msg: 10

winter_hyacinth said:
"dutch first date = friendzone."
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 188
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 12:05:42 PM

Yes, 5 weeks is too soon to complain, ten dates that makes dinner 2 times a week

I disagree. It's over a month, seeing each other rather frequently, been sleeping together, etc. In his situation (as he clarified in earlier posts), it's past the handshakes & lemonade courting phase. Is it a serious relationship? No. But that's not the field marker, at all. It's whether things are established and in another gear past the courting. It clearly is. They're already datING. That's the field marker. If she's not going to be happy over a month & been sleeping together, she's not going to be happy paying for low-key dates or drinks-after-dinner contributing months later either.

so why did you keep inviting her each time if you had expectations of her? Or was she the one that invited you some of those times?

For most people, past the first few dates, dates aren't "invites" -- any more than you "invite" a friend of yours to go out to X bar or restaurant on a Fri or Sat evening. An "invite" is more like "Hey, I/my friend is having a party, would you like to join?" or Asking someone out. They're past that phase, and that's the point -- which is why he's scratching his head. And he had no problem paying for dates during the courting phase nor a bit past it. His issue is when it's clearly past it, she says it's... "too soon"? Like he's asking her to visit his parents?? lol.

He's Surprised at this time, that's the point. He didn't know she would have this odd POV, as from his take, she didn't send out the signals she was this type.

At your age you shouldn't worry about who pays or when to bring that topic up.

But she does. And to be honest, you do too. So at your age, why should you worry?

You should be observing chemistry, lifestyles, and common interests.

Exactly! Why ruin it with a "Well, I never!" feeling if the guy says "You got this one, I'll get drinks at Excalibur Bar," (or vice versa) after countless outings?

Life is definitely too short to try to change the other person's values.

He's not trying to change her "values" -- her "value" being no more valuable or honorable than expecting a gift (of any expense) to be bought for her for every date. He's scratching his head and thinking "Wtf? Huh? Okay, am I off base to think this is at least a little self-entitled by her?" He's not asking for advice on how to convince-her-or-bust. It's more like getting 3rd party advisement on how off or on base he is in how he sees it, and how to proceed.

The reason I would contribute to dating entertainment costs is because I want it to be a SHARED experience.

Yeah, exactly. I think by default for many many couples or couples-to-be, both employed and self-sufficient financially & doing just fine, the guy pays for the first 1-3 dates in courting, and the gal ends up at least Contributing to dates for that Shared experience. Both are adults. Common sense. However, some who feel Entitled to being bought & paid for for their outings, as if every date is the guy asking her out on an initial date on date #x way down the line -- and scoff at contributing... unfortunately they don't realize that is Not the "norm" if said gal is employed going to affordable places, etc, and every other way about them dating is the norm too. At least they should realize (but some do tho) that they're more on the outside looking in, in most realms when the gal is a working self-sufficient woman.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 189
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 12:52:52 PM
Well, me personally, whenever I have my druthers, it goes like this -

There's a 'first meet', wherein we don't plan for much time and we just do any old thing that might take 20 minutes and that's it...hence why many of us say "coffee". Forget not expecting to draw that first meet out into more time and interaction, but even if we like how things feel we don't and/or can't anyway, and agree to consider doing something together later.

We talk some on the phone, or email, or text, etc, and only to lay some important basics out on the table if that hasn't already been done...which it probably would have. But any phone or email correspondence is not to make ourselves or each other fall in love...ugh...but just to continue getting a good feel and discuss a future date.

Then the first real date. There are no freaking dinners or restaurants involved in those first few dates. Beginning with that first date, we go DO something together. An activity. Not just sit and talk, and not just sit in a theater watching a movie. We do something. An actual activity. One that might take up half of our day. And from then on dating is a series of different activities together, wherein we interact and talk on many "levels" (hate that word "levels" the way that we use it. Seems so ghetto). After activity #2 we may go bang each other's brains out some, or it might involve a meal, or some drinks...but the dates are not defined by, nor composed only of, the meal.

I say all of this because...when it comes to a "meal date", we probably don't go out to any damned restaurant. I don't care how fancy or nice it is. Instead, either I fix up my place like a mini restaurant for two and spend the day putting together a meal and evening for her, or she does so for me, or we go grocery shopping together and plan the meal and evening then go home and cook together, or she does one part while I do the other part, etc.

I'm kind of critical with discriminating tastes, but I don't see any point in ANY restaurant other than the occasional pedestrian activity of such a thing. I am very rarely impressed by an establishment.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 190
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 2:50:07 PM
I like to get a "meal date" out of the way very early and it is always a restaurant of some sort and it's usually lunch. I find a "meal date" very telling, how is she with wait staff, is she "how many calories in here or I wonder they have that is gluten free", can she hold her fork correctly or does she hold it in her fist, is she constantly looking at her phone, does she blow her nose at the table, etc. as these things can drive a person crazy.

Then, when it all works out, there is nothing sexier than creating a meal together over a glass of wine in my home or hers.
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 191
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 4:31:29 PM
norwegianguy456 on 12/31/2015 8:05:


They're already datING. That's the field marker. If she's not going to be happy over a month & been sleeping together, she's not going to be happy paying for low-key dates or drinks-after-dinner contributing months later either.


If he is uncomfortable with how she handles the dinner tab situation and he attempted to discuss it and yet she dismissed it as if it wasn't of importance then doesn't matter what anyone says. Her reaction alone towards something that mattered to him says it all.
that's why I said : -"Life is definitely too short to try to change the other person's values."- Sometimes we have to pay attention to people's actions and not what they say.
How she reacted when Op were discussing this, (with the story of her daughter and bf) was enough to let him know "I'm not OK paying for a date in a restaurant". So there is his answer. Take it or leave it.


His issue is when it's clearly past it, she says it's... "too soon"? Like he's asking her to visit his parents?? lol.
He's Surprised at this time, that's the point. He didn't know she would have this odd POV, as from his take, she didn't send out the signals she was this type.


He clearly knew since he stated she was "old-fashioned" several times. Old fashioned in the sense that she expects the man to pay for a date. For five weeks she did not offer or contribute to a single date apparently so how is she not "send the signal she was this type?" ... that does not make sense.
That is what dates are for, to know if that person is worth it/ compatible or not. How is he surprised? there was a pattern of behavior for TEN dates and all of a sudden he is surprised that her behavior will stay the same? lol..



But she does. And to be honest, you do too. So at your age, why should you worry?


This is not about me!
but No, at my age if I were in that situation I would not worry about it because I would just move on.
If he doesn't behave the way I expect him to.. I would move on, Simple as that.
Personally I would not act upset, complain or give explanation.
I would not seek other's advice either. It would be a direct," It was really nice meeting you. I wish you the best, Goodbye."
I think if the person I am dating has different views towards life..why should I bother trying change myself in any way for him? That doesn't make sense to me. Not at this age.
OP states everything else was wonderful in regards to their experiences together so in my personal opinion it is time to move on since he is more concerned about this ONE problem instead of looking at the entire picture.


He's not trying to change her "values"


It is obvious he IS. As I stated before.. she already showed him her behavior pattern physically and refused to discuss it when he brought it up (showed him verbally it wasn't worth a discussion in her eyes).
To be FAIR with OP here I will say that it is ironic that she thinks it's not too soon for her to be intimate and sleep with him? lol .. I'm not sure how more direct and clear she has to be to express... "I'M NOT GOING TO PAY FOR A DATE" but if you insist I will however, I will resent it later.
 yougotmeakitten
Joined: 8/30/2014
Msg: 192
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 6:08:04 PM
Canadaigua Momma
The reason I would contribute to dating entertainment costs is because I want it to be a SHARED experience.
A man waiting on me hand-and-foot grows to be uncomfortable to me and I'm not a kept woman. Hope that helps.


So to you, this is more of a control or more aptly a control avoidance "technique" on your part? I'm really not picking on you. I just found the way you worded your comments and replies interesting.

I think in most situations the ebb and flow in a relationship changes every day. Today his need to feel he is the provider and treat for my dinner will be balanced by tomorrows need for me to fuss over him and serve him well. Yes I used the words "serve him" but not in the context of obeying. To me THIS is the shared experience.

OP, I guess you will have to make a choice but it seems to me that there are a few things already that are driving a wedge between you. I'm thinking that eventually it will completely split you before too long.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 193
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 8:05:04 PM
a scarlet giant letter denotes an adultress. Where in my post did I suggest that was the case with those wearing a white dress and pregnant or already having children?? Where in the world did you get the idea that I was inferring such a woman was a tramp either ??? Merely not virginal as traditionally denoted by the white, is all.......
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 194
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 9:10:22 PM

a scarlet giant letter denotes an adultress. Where in my post did I suggest that was the case with those wearing a white dress and pregnant or already having children?? Where in the world did you get the idea that I was inferring such a woman was a tramp either ??? Merely not virginal as traditionally denoted by the white, is all.......


Maybe we got the idea from post #163

Walking down the aisle in the white dress with your children in tow or pregnant, is a kind of a travesty IMO.

What did you mean by travesty?

But you've gone waaayy off topic.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 195
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 9:38:02 PM
^^ Actually, all of post #163 was a "travesty" in my humble opinion.

I find it odd that the lady in question in post # 1 is "old fashioned" in that she doesn't think she should have to pay for a meal or treat him to a meal and this early in the "relationship" (10 dates) but is not "old fashioned" enough to hold off on having sex. It would seem that it's fine to be "old fashioned" when it's convenient and is purely selective.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 196
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 9:56:26 PM

I find it odd that the lady in question in post # 1 is "old fashioned" in that she doesn't think she should have to pay for a meal or treat him to a meal and this early in the "relationship" (10 dates) but is not "old fashioned" enough to hold off on having sex. It would seem that it's fine to be "old fashioned" when it's convenient and is purely selective.

Question was raised in #27 & #57. OP answered in #60 that he realizes she's a hypocrite. He doesn't want her to know that he knows or she may cut off the sex. We see which head OP makes his value decisions with.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 197
who pays
Posted: 12/31/2015 10:19:27 PM
^^ Odd you should mention that, I'm watching Charlie Rose interview Neil deGrasse Tyson and discuss Carl Sagan as well as the Cosmos and so I do know that the odd man IS capable of using his other head, the big one and using it very, very well. Both men are sort of interesting heroes of mind, Charlie Rose is "ho hum". I'm successful as well and can manage quit well using the big head.

And yes, the lady in question is a hypocrite, no question.

And to be fair, many women think through their vagina. Some seem to see right through that vagina into his bank account. Some.
 bobbycllhn
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 198
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:02:18 PM
I see and hear this so often. Who cares really. If you don't like her not offering , then I wouldn't worry about dating her. Maybe hold out until she puts out and then call it a day with her.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 199
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:13:59 PM
He voluntarily treated her on TEN dates, got laid, then decided he was being taken advantage of…who’s a hypocrite??

Anyone who thinks men and women didn’t always engage in premarital sex since the beginning of time is a fool. You don’t get to define “old fashioned” to suit your argument. “Old fashioned” or not HE made the decision to do what he thought would work to get laid.

Again I advise OP to ball up and be honest about how he feels about her….a gold digging hypocrite he never respected from the beginning.
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 200
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:43:07 PM
We don't get to question "what does old fashioned mean" yet you can say something as stupid as "...HE made the decision to do what he thought would work to get laid." Really? That's a huge leap when you have no idea when and why he "got laid".

I never got from the original poster that he thought this lady was a gold digger, in fact he said the opposite. He never said he disrespected her. He never said he didn't want to see her again, in fact he said the opposite. Do some of you just make stuff up? He asked a question, a question many men have asked before and a question a few women would be asking if the way we date was reversed with the women doing the asking out and the women paying for the dates.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 201
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 5:56:33 PM

“Old fashioned” or not HE made the decision to do what he thought would work to get laid.


Here we go again-where two people agree to have sex, and yet the woman is somehow being victimized or viewed as having to pay for the meals in a different way. Maybe the woman wanted to have sex as much as the guy, so she got free meals and free sex. Nobody said she was forced to have sex. If a woman pays for a meal on a date and the couple agree to have sex afterwards, is the guy a victim and feels he's being bought in order to have sex with her? If a guy buys you a meal on a date, do you automatically feel obliged to have sex with him?

The best solution for you is never go on a date where buying food, or buying anything else is involved, unless you go dutch and always pay your own way. That way, you will never feel pressured to have sex.
 gfe0787
Joined: 12/17/2015
Msg: 202
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 6:46:20 PM
Personally, I choose to have separate bills- no splitting it bc then it might get tricky lol. I pay for myself and he pays for himself- I think that's an equal stance. When the server/waiter first comes over, just say ' Hi, just want to let you know separate bills please- Thank you'. Solves the awkwardness at the end haha. The reason why I prefer to split the bill is because I have the freedom to order what I want no matter what it costs. And most importantly, I don't owe the guy anything and feel no remorse if I decide it wasn't a match and opt to not speak to him anymore. I also do the separate bill thing when I go out with friends/coworkers/family etc. lol. I have gotten funny looks at times, but it's easier. Especially in my culture separate bills is like a major insult haha. It's seen as 'cheap' lol. However, money has a way of bringing out certain unpleasant attitudes/behaviors in people. I prefer for it to be that way because things are balanced and plus, you know the person is there for your company =) Just my $0.02.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 203
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 6:49:08 PM
He knew from the beginning she was “old fashioned” however SHE defines it; HE played along with his interpretation long enough to get what he wanted from her. Now he’s weeping about it….choices HE made, which he now blames her for.

I want him to call her a hypocrite to her face and explain why right before their next sexual encounter. He won’t because he’s using her for sex and calling HER a hypocrite. It doesn’t get much stupider than that. :/
 nightryder111
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 204
who pays
Posted: 1/1/2016 7:04:21 PM
^^^. Okay, that made me laugh. I'd like to ask - when was the last time someone took you to dinner and then gave you a good roll in the hay? It's been awhile? It shows.

I did not find this guy in any way a lout or a cad. And he likes this lady and wants to continue dating her. And yes, he paid and he got laid and he asked a question, BFD. But maybe she just puts out for meals, maybe she is just using her puzzy to get steak dinners. Maybe she's just using HIM. Meal whore. Who knows. If you're going to jump to conclusions and mak stuff up, make a good story out of it.

I don't recall him "blaming" her for anything. More made up stuff.

I hope this fellow just lets this flow and see where it goes.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 205
who pays
Posted: 1/2/2016 9:33:01 AM

whenever someone says that when they don't want a second date or see no interest or chemistry they will pay 'their part' of things...are we establishing that if she does perceive interest and does want a second date, then that means that either he has to pick up the whole tab or she expects him to?? I wonder why that is.


While some women will only offer to pay when they aren't interested in another date, I don't think it's a general indicator of non-interest. I have been on first dates / meetings when a woman paid for some portion of the date and there was another date. Some women will pay to "prove their independence". Some women will pay so they feel they don't "owe" a man anything. Like sex. There are other women that feel sharing the bill is right thing to do.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 206
view profile
History
who pays
Posted: 1/2/2016 1:16:37 PM

that's why I said : -"Life is definitely too short to try to change the other person's values."- Sometimes we have to pay attention to people's actions and not what they say.

His main theme is that he has little dating experience, has a belief this isn't the norm and shouldn't be the way and thinks it's not good -- but due to his lack of experience, wants to know how off base he is from other people's POV. He also strongly says everything else is Great, and this is seemingly a shame to him (am I wrong on this??). Life is too short to squander a great opportunity -- which is why he's asking, otherwise, why post something up here. He wouldn't want to squander it and later talk to someone and hear why he should have stayed right? Hence, the post.

How she reacted when Op were discussing this, (with the story of her daughter and bf) was enough to let him know "I'm not OK paying for a date in a restaurant". So there is his answer. Take it or leave it.

Well no, that's not what it was exactly. It was a it's "too soon". Now, common sense dictates this is a BS answer because she probably was trying to find one on-the-fly, which isn't a good thing for her resume. But there's more to digest -- okay, if this IS truly "too soon", why? Are we not as far along as I thought? Is it something where we'd need to be in a serious relationship where we'd be spending the night at each others' parents or kids houses? What am I missing here, what exactly does she mean? Dammit, this is going great, and this curveball of an answer comes out. It would have been better if she wanted to talk about it to draw a line in the sand and just say "When we go out, no, I don't ever pay. If/when we're in a serious relationship, I'll take you out for your birthday. That's it."

He clearly knew since he stated she was "old-fashioned" several times. Old fashioned in the sense that she expects the man to pay for a date.

"Old-fashioned" is very vague though. Old-fashioned is (even the working gal) not paying for dates in the first handful, during the courting phase. When well past that, "old fashioned" gals who are self-sufficient (which isn't soo old-fashioned anyway) will contribute. If you say nay to that, that's fine -- but you'd also have to say nay to hopping in the sack ball-banging which she's doing just a month into things. :)

That is what dates are for, to know if that person is worth it/ compatible or not.

Again, your advice: Why worry about who-pays? She certainly does, so that should go to her, too. But they're past the phase of "is this person worth seeing?" They are seeing each other. Over a month, both agreeing to jump in the sack, getting along great seeing each other, etc. My point is that they're Past that courting phase.

there was a pattern of behavior for TEN dates and all of a sudden he is surprised that her behavior will stay the same? lol..

There's a difference between the first few dates VS over a month, in the bedroom, finishing up a double-digit number of dates had. Gears shift. Yes, many gals will want/expect the guy to pay for the first few dates -- and after that initial phase both want to still see each other as they seem to kick it off quite well -- many said gals who are self-sufficient, young or old, will want to at least contribute. Extremely common for it to "change"; that's the process of dating. Just like a kiss at the doorstep on a 1st date is going to change to making out on another, and so on. Many things change. He didn't have a problem for a while, but hers is more than "old fashioned". It goes beyond that for a self-sufficient gal who's in another gear of dating with a guy -- it's Entitlement... with possibly a warped concept that every "old fashioned gal" rolls like that (no).

No, at my age if I were in that situation I would not worry about it because I would just move on.
If he doesn't behave the way I expect him to.. I would move on, Simple as that.

Behave? Like bring it up? He still payed. Surely at your age you realize that when sleeping with someone and past the courting phase, that paying for date #x in double-digits, the guy may wonder why-not to contribute -- much like things shifting to come up with an idea once in a while on where to go, etc.

Personally I would not act upset, complain or give explanation.

Wow - lol. You wouldn't answer him. Or, in her case, give a BS answer (I would hope not)? Yikes. I would think young gals may do that sort of thing (due to lack of experience) or something, but to be offended being asked to offer some too, leading to (or just) asking why not -- much like conversations about liking/not-liking traveling on mere 3-day weekends... or why one desires/anti-desires meeting the other's parents super-soon, etc.

I would not seek other's advice either. It would be a direct," It was really nice meeting you. I wish you the best, Goodbye."

Wow. Not cool - lol. I mean, if he was Rude about it, I could see one swinging that way. But that Is acting upset in response... just by inquiring about contributing, and you treating it like it's date #2 or something. Yikes. Big difference between over a month and sleeping together and in dates that's going on 3 hands of counting and having to think about how many were had -- and that. It's not someone you just met to say "nice meeting you".

I think if the person I am dating has different views towards life..why should I bother trying change myself in any way for him?

It's not about that. First, he's in a different position than you. He has little dating experience, hence the asking about it all. Things are going great -- part of him, despite what he believes, is like, "Am I missing something here?" And it's not to change the way about her -- but to see what exactly's in store for him as it wasn't a clear-cut "Nope, I'm entitled to always be paid for 100% of the time when going out. Take it or leave it." (Which WOULD be caring a hell of a lot about who pays; more than merely "old fashioned"). But also, some guys AND gals, when they're much more than mere strangers (as you seem to be treating it too much like) -- and have been hitting it off as he points out, may take the other's POV and think "Oh, okay, I see that POV...," and not change their "life values" or anything, but understand and adjust where it's still their values that the man leads and pays, but things change a bit. People's comfort-zones, views on the way things roll change a bit over time. Sometimes more open, sometimes more closed, depending on the 'thing'.

And if they're hardened in the (semi-insulting) concept that any-guy-I'm-seeing-has-to-pay-for-Everything -- okay great, I agree -- he then needs to either walk away from that gal, or be comfortable and stay with her IF it's not going to affect him. I think part of what his thing here is that maybe someone could shed some light on stuff, since things were going so well with them otherwise, that would make him feel more Okay/Cool about paying for everything, even though that in his mind isn't the ideal mantra (nor is the most common either).
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 207
who pays
Posted: 1/2/2016 1:41:51 PM

when was the last time someone took you to dinner and then gave you a good roll in the hay? It's been awhile? It shows.


Your male pandering shows, Bluemoon.


















Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >