Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 55
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

You know, if you look at your history, you have a lot of posts that consist of 5+ paragraphs. Furthermore, you have 25 posts over the past 2 months. I have 4 posts over the past 6 months.


Tsk-tsk.

Whatever Boo writes is entertaining and easily digestible.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 56
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/6/2016 9:17:21 AM
Sorry if I sound like a grammar nazi, but encountering someone in real life IS MEETING someone. You are both there in the flesh, and generally you can't lie about your height or age or body size or whatever. The stigma about "Meeting" someone from online is that the meet becomes a "Date", not just a meet - and so you're obligated to give them more attention than someone who approaches at a bar.

The chances of DATING someone who you've already met in real life may not be very high (pardon the pun) for a short person, but they are exceedingly better than someone who refuses to get offline, for whatever reason.

The stigma I found from being on Match is that since it is a paid site, people elevate their expectations, even though the exact same two people may be on a free site, or multiple sites. Generally they want "better" - richer, taller, more tan, whatever. Match used to list height preferences - max and minimum - in their profiles. I don't remember if they still do or not - but it became an easy way to measure how overblown their expectations were - by measuring the difference between their height minimum preference and their OWN height. Profiles of very petite women who insisted on 6 feet minimum did indeed read as somewhat insecure in other aspects of their profiles. I'm sure insecure guys reflected similar results - maybe not in height, but other personality aspects they didn't want to risk changing. Raising the bar in there has become almost a competitive contest of unreasonable expectations. It's the main reason why I'll never pay for a dating site again.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 57
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/6/2016 6:45:43 PM

Posted By:norwegianguy456;
Well, lol, an average guy (and average in everything including looks), statistically speaking, is pretty much never going to land a model. There's nothing wrong with ideally wanting a model... sure. But if most guys were like "If you're not a model, I don't even want to go out on a date with you, sorry," that'd be pretty bad news, right? :) It's definitely not like that.


You base this on what? Do you know any Professional Models?
Your opinion is at best a WAG......
A friends Daughter has been in the SI Swimsuit edition, modeled for print & TV ads/commercials & so on....
I've seen pics of Her BF's & they're not all taller than her or better/equal to her looks....
If anything, they're very average in looks......
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 58
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/7/2016 1:02:31 AM

You base this on what? Do you know any Professional Models?
Your opinion is at best a WAG......
A friends Daughter has been in the SI Swimsuit edition, modeled for print & TV ads/commercials & so on....
I've seen pics of Her BF's & they're not all taller than her or better/equal to her looks....
If anything, they're very average in looks......


That's true. A lot of the time they just end up dating guys they know or guys that are the center of their social circle of own some kind of business.
I think about half of the women I've dated were taller than me. Some of them were significantly taller. I'm only 5'8 and some of them were over 6 feet. I've never really run into this whole height problem. Most of the time it's a matter of who you are. If a woman doesn't get you or isn't into the type of guy you are, that's a bigger deal than your height. I think some people are overthinking this or using it as an excuse.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 59
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/7/2016 7:07:31 AM
Of course, there are examples of average looking men with attractive women, overweight men with fit women etc. However for the most part ( in my experience ), fit and attractive women are often with fit and attractive men.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 60
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/7/2016 8:21:29 AM
“I think about half of the women I've dated were taller than me. Some of them were significantly taller. I'm only 5'8 and some of them were over 6 feet. I've never really run into this whole height problem. Most of the time it's a matter of who you are. If a woman doesn't get you or isn't into the type of guy you are, that's a bigger deal than your height. I think some people are overthinking this or using it as an excuse.”

So Match has a Reverse Search that instead of searching for people with characteristics that interest you, it searches for people who have indicated they are willing to consider a date with someone that has your characteristics. So if you are bald, it looks for women who have checked “Yes, I would date a bald man.”

I just ran Reverse Search for myself (narrowed down to those online in the last 24 hours) and got 240 profiles. This includes about 150 profiles that didn’t fill out ANY preference listings (due undoubtedly to laziness, not because they would date anyone), so really it’s more like 90. I then ran the Reverse Search for the 5’8” version of me and got 760 profiles – or 4x to 7x as many options, depending on how you look at it. I then ran Reverse Search for the 5’8” white version of me and got 1000 profiles – or 5x to 10x as many options. I then ran Reverse Search for the 6’0” white version of me and got 1400 profiles, or 7x to 14x as many options as the real me. (In response to the intitial female replies in this thread, how many women do we need? I'd much rather start with 1400 than 90, considering these searches can't possibly take facial attraction and a million other things into consideration, as when you get through with all that stuff, that 90 becomes zero and that 1400 becomes maybe a dozen or so.)

Not that I don’t get what you’re saying, because I’ve dated mostly taller women and there’s no doubt most of them would not have shown up in my Reverse Search had we been on Match at the same time, but it’s ridiculous to act as if height is not a significant contributing factor to dating (not the least of which is because quite a few women in this thread said it is). And you’re only a couple inches below average height (difficult for the average woman to tell the difference between your height and “average height”) and still 4 inches taller than the average woman. That’s a major advantage according to women’s preferences. Your height is not going to be the first thing women notice about you when you walk into a room because your height is less than one standard deviation from “average.” The OP and I are 3 standard deviations away from average height – it is the first thing ANYONE notices when meeting us, so it immediately becomes a disadvantage that requires major effort to overcome, in the real world or online. I’ve seen this in action with my female friends – they comment on most guys they see in a bar or club, and it’s usually “Nice butt” or “Nice eyes” or “I love his hair”... unless he’s exceptionally short or tall, then the first thing they mention about him is his height (negative if it’s short, in awe if he’s tall – yes, they will make negative remarks about short men even when I’m with them! Though my longtime friends have gotten better about not doing it...).

“The stigma about ‘Meeting’ someone from online is that the meet becomes a ‘Date’, not just a meet - and so you're obligated to give them more attention than someone who approaches at a bar.”

This would be true if not for the fact that a bar is an environment in which people primarily expect to be approached for romantic purposes, so it is pretty much just online dating... in real life. I would agree with that sentence had you said “someone who approaches at a grocery store” or “someone who approaches at a library,” because those are not environments in which you primarily expect to be approached for romantic purposes.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 61
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/7/2016 9:18:08 PM

This is a very common misconception, not simply about male height but basically any negative physical attribute. Most online dating sites are the equivalent of clubs and bars, with the only real difference being that usually there is no alcohol creating “beer goggles” during OLD sessions.

No, it's not about personality, but it's about being in a different Gear. IRL, one's going to be Less picky to give someone/something a chance. It doesn't mean they're easy and wide open -- oh, heck no. But the female friends you went out with... some of them allowing a guy to approach and entertaining his notions -- some of them they'd reject online, is the point. Sure, not oh-so-clear hot guys, but more on the 'acceptable' range. One's tastes are more open IRL. There's no stat size-up nearly to the degree as online. They're less picky -- but it doesn't mean they're still not picky... just not AS picky. Online amps it up.

If you're Really Short and they like the tall guys in the room -- yeah, it's not going to matter. You're not going to see the difference of liking vs rejecting of the same dude -- both will be quick rejections.

If a guy's 5'7" and nice looking, etc -- he's going to fare much better among gals IRL in singles scene spots VS going online to find pretty gals w/o kids. He'll do even Better if he's social-group friends with other gals (and doesn't friend-zone himself) thru other people he knows, etc -- where he's "kinda cute" in a gal's eyes but nothing she's really thinking about, and probably not bite if he Hit on her on First engagement... but after being social-group friends, and after several occasions of bantering etc, she is More apt to take to his liking if there's compatibility/chemistry there, than a stranger-greet IRL. Personality has more to deal with it there, but guys with no game unfortunately friend-zone themselves (which blocks her potential to turn luke-warm attraction into lets-give-it-a-go attraction).
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 62
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/8/2016 7:50:35 AM

One's tastes are more open IRL. There's no stat size-up nearly to the degree as online. They're less picky -- but it doesn't mean they're still not picky... just not AS picky. Online amps it up.

Yeah. Online is the equivalent of meeting men in a bar - all wearing adhesive name tags that say, "Hello, I'm 5'8"." -- And every guy that is say, 5' 11" or taller is wearing a fluorescent yellow name tag that glows brightly in the black lights. It may not be the first thing noticed, but it's a helluva lot more prominent than it would be if they were not 'tagged'.

If you go to a night club in Miami Beach somewhere, women are already self-labeling themselves in pretty much the same way - with their neon colored bikini tops, LOL.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 63
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/8/2016 1:10:34 PM
Hi Springwalk, another thing I noticed is you sport a shaved head, looks good! As a fellow baldy, I realize many women will pass us by for that reason. Some don't like it, some don't care, and a small percentage love it. I decided to keep my shaved head and hope I find the right gal that will like me, for me. Good luck and keep the faith!
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 64
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/8/2016 1:28:29 PM
^^^^^ You didn't leave me the flannel shirts I wanted for Christmas. :(

Love the new look, BTW. Less to get snagged during that pesky chimney thing so, yeah, good idea.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 65
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/8/2016 3:07:55 PM
Haha, thanks, I thought I was due for a makeover.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 66
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/9/2016 1:10:34 PM

Online is the equivalent of meeting men in a bar - all wearing adhesive name tags that say, "Hello, I'm 5'8"." -- And every guy that is say, 5' 11" or taller is wearing a fluorescent yellow name tag that glows brightly in the black lights. It may not be the first thing noticed, but it's a helluva lot more prominent than it would be if they were not 'tagged'.

Yeah, I agree when it's a real upscale Club with hot women, it's a bit more "online like" in that visual dept (male height). But...

(a) Most bars aren't night clubs in Miami (although I will say in Miami has more shorter people than those in northern states, making results not quite as picky comparatively). In most bars/events/etc when it's open to mingling with strangers in person, it's not going to be write-off based on height as will be much more often found online.

(b) Even in hot Clubs of the hottest & done-up people (namely gals), for the noticeably short gals, online she may have 5'11" as her minimum height requirement, but even there IRL, a 5'9" guy is still going to tower over her and is going to be less picky about that. So for the few places like that with upscale-tastes, it'd only be on-par with their online pickiness on height when said guy isn't taller than she by good margin. Outside of those hot clubs, just generally IRL, it'd tone down a bit... and when knowing people thru social groups and such, they'll even be less picky on that (but for social people, 98% of the time, he'll need to be taller than she or at least roughly the same height as she in her normal going-out heels).

As a fellow baldy, I realize many women will pass us by for that reason. Some don't like it, some don't care, and a small percentage love it.

Yeah, that's different but related topic that's interesting. Although the difference between that and height is that for a guy like yourself who's well kept/groomed purposely fully bald as a fashion statement, there's not going to be "looking down" on said guys. It may or may not be a fashion/look that a gal likes, but that's about it. They don't see you being "lesser" or "not manly enough" or whatever -- just a taste issue, where with guy's height, it runs deeper than just taste (which is why it gets controversial).
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 67
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/9/2016 1:39:18 PM
Average men who have money and status will be with much hotter women or the guy has let himself go over the years and she is bonking the gym instructor behind his back. lol!!
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 68
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/10/2016 12:16:10 PM
Norwegianguy, you made some good points. Thank you.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 70
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 12:02:19 PM
^^^^ Yikes! You shouldn't have written that!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 2:47:24 PM
Height was never an issue for Hervé Villechaize (Tattoo-"De plane boss. De plane" on Fantasy Island)-all 3 ft. 11 in. (1.19 m) of him. He was married to a regular size hot looking actress. For shorter guys here, maybe the trick would be to buy a lot of power ball lottery tickets. A short billionaire would suddenly look tall and sexy to women.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 72
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 3:06:48 PM
^^^^^ like a billionaire gnome woman wouldn’t suddenly look slim and sexy to you.


I have had multiple women message me saying that my height was one of the bigger reasons why. However, all of them were at least 5'9" tall themselves.


Some guys on here want or even demand women to explain in gory detail why they reject them. This kind of “excuse” is their favorite because they can’t do anything about it, thus have the right to cry over delusional entitled women who expect “perfection” simply because women don’t want them.

Now you know you should probably quit messaging taller women. This ain’t rocket science. :/
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 73
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 3:37:22 PM
Maleman: Villechaize killed himself after many years of suicide attempts. Why in the world would you bring him up as a model for short men? I mean, yeah, sure, I’m heading down that path, too, but most people wouldn’t think it’s a particularly good thing that I’m modeling his behavior in that respect.

And I don’t know how many times I have to say this: you cannot compare the romantic successes of rich and famous short men to that of “ordinary” short men. Simply by virtue of being rich and famous, many women are willing to overlook their height. Which is exactly why I’ve spent most of my life trying to become rich and famous. But if it were easy to become rich and famous, everybody would be rich and famous! Because I think we can all agree, it beats the alternative (well, at least the “rich” part – I know quite a few people that have no interest in being famous, including some who are already famous).

“Now you know you should probably quit messaging taller women.”

I’m pretty sure he said they were messaging him. Unless you mean he should not bother to message tall women because they will want him for his height, but that would assume that he was opposed to dating women who are attracted to his height, which I’m pretty sure he did not say. You’d pretty much have to be a fool to have no interest in people who are attracted to your positive physical aspects. Now if they’re attracted to your negative physical aspects, then, yes, run for the hills, because they are probably insane.

“Yikes! You shouldn't have written that!”

Enlighten me. I have no idea why you found misu’s post concerning. Unless you have great concern that short men who’ve had no messages at all over the last several years will find it depressing, in which case, thanks for the concern, but other people’s successes do not depress me. My failures depress me. I’m collapsing rapidly underneath them and just grasping at deus ex machina straws at this point, as evidenced by the $50 worth of Powerball tickets I’ve purchased over the past week. Hopefully $1.3 billion is enough to make a very large percentage of women overlook my negative physical attributes, but I have my doubts.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 74
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 3:48:11 PM
"And I don’t know how many times I have to say this: you cannot compare the romantic successes of rich and famous short men to that of “ordinary” short men. Simply by virtue of being rich and famous, many women are willing to overlook their height. "






Wait....are you suggesting Christie Brinkley wouldn't have given Billy Joel the time of day if he wasn't famous ??? Or Katie Holmes , Tom Cruise ? Dudley Moore , Susan Anton ?

Say it ain't so !
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 4:25:55 PM
Butter: I can guarantee you none of those women would have been dating any of those guys if those guys hadn’t been rich and famous. But you might have a decent argument if you suggested that those very attractive, also rich and famous women had many other, much taller rich and famous options and yet ended up in relationships with those specific short men instead. We’d have to examine each of those relationships to understand why that is.

In the case of Tom Cruise: he was the biggest star on the planet at the time (except maybe for Will Smith), and also considered one of the most handsome men to walk the earth, along with being one of the richest actors ever, so even though Katie could have picked a taller guy, the reality was she could not possibly have done any better than Tom Cruise overall. Which was pretty much true of ANY woman at the time, including Nicole Kidman (I think it’s highly questionable as to whether either of them married Tom for love, especially Kidman, considering how much she complained about being with him, height and otherwise).

Musicians like Billy Joel and Prince actually don’t even need to be rich and famous or even moderately successful for women to be interested in them – if I had musical talent, I’d be on a completely different level dating-wise. Indeed I know some pretty worthless aging musicians who play in bar bands that have groupies. But Billy Joel and Prince happened to be EXTREMELY talented, so there’s really no doubt they could make supermodels melt in their prime without even having to use the “rich and famous” card. I remember when Prince first become “Purple Rain” famous and this girl at my school who always made fun of me about my height started salivating over Prince, to which I pointed out “uh, he’s really short and you told me that was a bad thing” and she said “I don’t care – have you heard him sing?” Unfortunately, I can’t carry a tune. I have a guitar and always wanted to replace Flea in the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but I can’t play worth a damn after years of lessons and practice.

As for Dudley Moore, I’m pretty sure Susan Anton is clinically insane. But Moore was also a (good) musician and singer so that helped a lot, and his acting stature was far greater than hers at the time, though I cannot say that was the case with all of his wives (but then again Suzy Kendall and Tuesday Weld were basically the same height as him, so that’s a lot different than the Anton situation).
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 76
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/11/2016 11:24:44 PM
I agree with south city. the problem with online dating is that it is subject to wishlisting, wanting the perfect person and then just clicking next when someone does not measure up. Real life meets and chemistry at play etc. personality, voice, mannerisms, give most people who are height challenged, more opportunities. I met a guy who was 5'7" and fell in love instantly in real life but would tend to pass on a guy whose profile showed that height, for instance. Would be thinking he was not even that height in actuality and adding a bit.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 77
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/12/2016 12:00:30 AM

I agree with south city. the problem with online dating is that it is subject to wishlisting, wanting the perfect person and then just clicking next when someone does not measure up. Real life meets and chemistry at play etc. personality, voice, mannerisms, give most people who are height challenged, more opportunities. I met a guy who was 5'7" and fell in love instantly in real life but would tend to pass on a guy whose profile showed that height, for instance. Would be thinking he was not even that height in actuality and adding a bit.


Men feel the same way about weight. Everyone knows "average" means fat and "a few extra pounds" means morbidly obese. I think men are a lot more open in real life too. They might pass on a woman that has a bad picture but would normally like her in person.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 78
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/12/2016 12:43:26 PM

Wait....are you suggesting Christie Brinkley wouldn't have given Billy Joel the time of day if he wasn't famous ??? Or Katie Holmes , Tom Cruise ? Dudley Moore , Susan Anton ?


If Tom Cruise was not famous and had a profile that said he was a 5' 7" 53-year-old dyslexic Scientologist who's been married 3 times and has partial custody of 3 kids - I can pretty much guarantee a lot of women's search preferences would NEVER include him, no matter how pretty of a picture he posted up. The guy practically defines good charisma, at least in a public persona - but nobody can 'see' that in a few pictures and a profile description - they'd have to guess and risk it, or play it 'safe' and keep looking.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 79
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/12/2016 1:14:52 PM

I met a guy who was 5'7" and fell in love instantly in real life but would tend to pass on a guy whose profile showed that height, for instance.


Well, you could actually learn from that real life experience and fight that urge when using online sites, and actually give someone a chance.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 80
view profile
History
LADIES - A Question of Height...
Posted: 1/12/2016 1:45:28 PM
ButterChickenChuck, I like your new pics. :-)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >