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Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 49
Women's idea of a good datePage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I think labeling a first date a "meet" keeps one's mind on its purpose. Makes it less romantic, more practical?

I could not do this. To me that first date, whether originated online or real life was, first and foremost a date. I made no bones about it. I was not meeting with her to see if she could be my friend, but to see if we had chemistry to be a couple, lovers, people that express physical attraction. Period. If there was no physical attraction, fine. No problem at all. But there was never any confusion as to why we were there.

With that said, it all boils down to what people may define as failure in a date. To me failure was to mislead the other person. Finding that the other was not compatible was never a failure. That didn't even stopped me from having a good time on that date.
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 50
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 1:11:45 PM
I think for those of us have enough difficulty getting first dates as it is, having them devalued doesn't exactly help.
In any case I always thought 'meet' was a verb anyway. Asking a girl if they would like to go on a meet seems a bit odd really lol.
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 51
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 2:16:22 PM
If you are in a salubrious restaurant, he is attentive and interested in you, does not matter much if you don't feel that attraction. You may have a reasonably good time but wont view it as a good date and probably wont want to do it again. I think it a mistake if a man goes all out with spending up big on a stranger for a first meet and so many come here and are disgruntled when it does not work out and feel used. Just don't do it, guys....

So just a walk in a park, a hamburger and coke at a local foodstand is wonderful if you are with the right person.
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 52
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 2:45:54 PM

Posted By:chrisshrew;
In any case I always thought 'meet' was a verb anyway.

Wait a minute.... You list your profession as a , "English Teacher"...
Although it could be used as your place of origin, commonly, it's a Person who teaches the English language....

If you teach the English language, I would think, you know that MEET could be, either a Verb or a Noun, depending on how it's used.... The word MEET, in a Track Meet, is a Noun.....
Joined: 12/6/2015
Msg: 53
Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 2:55:29 PM
If you know a woman thru casual contact, and you ask her out...of course you may feel obliged to do more, but somebody you met online..."NEVER"...

Coffee and Conversation, should be exactly what she needs.....
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 54
Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 4:22:51 PM
^^^^ And some people should not be so presumptuous as to decide what others should need. :D
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 55
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/6/2016 4:53:46 PM to keep the first "date" as a meeting, neutral place, to see if there is a mutual desire for the second date.
Then those ideas are all creative and sound like fun.
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 56
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/9/2016 3:07:11 PM

I guess it boils down to proposing a non-traditional (i.e. food and beverage) date would require actually reading a profile (and for the other to have written a profile with something worth reading) and then having the guts to propose something non-traditional. From reading the forums it appears people would rather kvetch about the cost of dates and who pays for the dates than to find an alternative.

One of the reasons I have listed my 'range' of date suggestions on my 'first date' box... these don't cost a LOT of money, are fun for a short while - are definitely more interesting than sitting picking at food (Said as a food-a-holic who has had eating issues in the past and would like to avoid mainstream 'food' dates)
and as there are so many, they do at least give some indication of 'dating long term' rather than just one hit wonders...
Yeup, by their own admission - very few fellows read down that far...
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 57
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Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/10/2016 9:46:48 AM
OP, what you put as 'first meet' ideas and 'first date' ideas don't seem very different. They all seem on the same "date scale".

Let me say that a first meet is not a date.

I disagree. A date doesn't need romanticism. No lighting candles required. People don't like calling them dates, from the same motivation some may want to play the "friends first" game -- to set expectations in the most appropriate way, avoid drama, etc. But in the end, you are what you do. You still "went out" with that person non-platonically. That's all a 'date' is. A date doesn't mean much.

Dave and Busters, bowling, playing a game of pool or darts, and going to the movies will always remain fun in my book.

Dave & Busters is a great first meet/date idea. Movies are good after the 1st time, as part of an outing, yeah.

I prefer a 'do something' first meet and first date that allows us to talk and get to know each other, but there's also something else going on that keeps it from being like an interview

I agree. I think Dave & Busters is a great arena for that. You have a couple drinks (social lubrication; takes edge off), play some games, etc. For many people, especially self-described "picky" ones, the atmosphere/surroundings and what unfolds plays a role in how they feel about the other (assuming their looks & persona-type is generally on par from their profile). Wanting something odd/different/unique can be great or real bad -- depending on how it affects one or the other... which is why I think the best first date would be a neutral-taste arena, that just about anyone would be cool with -- while presenting something to-do, and also sit-down chit-chat. D&B is a good spot for that.
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 58
Women's idea of a good date
Posted: 1/10/2016 10:02:25 AM
I was always of the assumption that first meets/dates should be as natural as possible. Of course, I'm than most, and some would define that kinda thinking as "old fashioned". I tend to try to use the KISS method. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't.
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