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 CallaLily004
Joined: 6/27/2015
Msg: 26
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Please helpPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I wouldn't be so quick to judge him as being a liar. He came here for help, got a few suggestions from the forum members and made some adjustments accordingly. He originally had stated in his profile that he did not want children and I see he has now changed that to "Undecided/Open" (this doesn't mean that he is a liar in this instance.) He is 23 years old and perhaps his original choice was made because at this time in his life, he doesn't want children. Being so young, and I'm sure new to this online dating process, he did not realize the choice of "Does Not Want Children" could affect the outcome of responses.

Now getting back to your response, we do not know if this is just a "Test" period for a few days/week to see IF (being a smoker) may be a MAJOR reason as to lack of interest and he wants to give it a trial run. We also don't know if perhaps he has decided to give up smoking and sought out one of those new smoking aids (vapors) to help him in the mean time. From what I can see thus far, he has been a very gracious and courteous young man in his replies to the suggestions offered, so I (myself) am not going to judge him on this particular change as I don't know the truth as to the change.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 27
Please help
Posted: 1/11/2016 10:58:57 AM
So here is the deal on Smoking. Because of my military stint and current career, I have worked "pretty" closely with probably 500 people if not far more... And when you have almost 6000 folks living on a ship only 1100 feet long... Human Nature is on full display

There IS such a thing as a "courteous" smoker but they are more rare than apparently a typical male or female on this site who understands basic email etiquette. I can only remember 3 in my life and it seems like when I was a wee thing, most "adults" smoked. I would bet MOST "never smoked or once smoked" folks have not met even one who would actually ask before lighting up.

There ARE now so many men and women at most sites who at least claim to NOT smoke. But of course IF you can quit ONLY to simply increase your odds on a Dating site, you are not likely to stay quit for long.

One of my X wives smoked when we met and quit shortly after. One of the smartest folks I have ever known of either sex. Watched her dad die a slow and painful death from heavy smoking less than a year before we met. That did not stop her. Since our divorce, she has restarted and REstopped at least a couple of times at last count...

She was/[still is?] a courteous smoker.

Just this morning on my local news, I saw that USF here in Tampa has banned ALL tobacco related products/devices from the entire campus to include OUTDOORS. This means that legally the tobacco users will need to go off a very large campus even for e ciggs. I think that is going a bit too far. Reminds of that silly fellow Guilani, trying to eliminate large sodas off the menus in most NY restaurants.

Unless you give them up for yourself you are unlikely to succeed based on all the people I have seen quit and STAY tobacco free.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 28
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Please help
Posted: 1/12/2016 12:07:02 AM

Again, I do not believe the two of you are comprehending my initial response. I understand the concept that a non-smoker's preference will most likely want to date/meet someone whom doesn't smoke, and thus the OP would have greater numbers and chances of ladies contacting/being interested in him. The BOTH of you have stated he would meet more Quality ladies if he quits this habit.

That being said... May I ask the both of you what defines a Quality woman, so as I can have a better understanding before I make anymore comments on this subject.


The difference to me is someone who is coping versus thriving. Emotional over-eating can be another example of a coping behaviour. Someone that becomes obese because they eat their emotions isn't seen as having the same value in the dating world as someone that takes care of themselves. My idea of a quality woman is probably similar most people's idea. Women that are hard workers, trustworthy, loyal, and without bad habits like smoking and binge drinking are seen as quality women. The same goes for men. Men that are hard workers and go to the gym are seen as having more value than a lazy slob that gets high.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 29
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Posted: 1/12/2016 10:51:09 AM

Women that are hard workers, trustworthy, loyal, and without bad habits like smoking and binge drinking are seen as quality women.


One of the most compassionate, caring and devoted women I've ever met was a life-long smoker. One of the most narcissistic and vile women I've ever met was not. I think it's a mistake to assess the quality of a person based on his or her weaknesses. I'd always, always, rather look for the woman's strengths. That, to me, determines if she's a "quality" woman.
 ShowBoatSupreme
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 30
Please help
Posted: 1/13/2016 4:58:35 PM
Go to a nightclub.

If you can't get a phone number there, OLD won't be of much use.
 GuitarJoey
Joined: 8/19/2015
Msg: 31
Please help
Posted: 1/13/2016 7:42:26 PM
This should have been put in the "Profile Reviews" forum.

That being said, your pictures are everything. EVERYTHING. I had some crappy pics up, just figured what the heck, and no one paid attention. I took a few new ones, with better lighting and better everything, and now I get at least a couple messages a week.

I can say with 99.999% accuracy that online dating is about good pics. They open the door. Doesn't matter what your profile says if no one's gonna read it.
 CallaLily004
Joined: 6/27/2015
Msg: 32
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Please help
Posted: 1/15/2016 2:46:26 PM
Coma_White: Thank you for your response. Since it seems the OP really has no concern as to what you meant with your statement (he was the one asking for help), no need to drag this on. Let's just say that everyone has their own view as to what constitutes a "Quality" woman and I will leave it at that. ;-)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 33
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Please help
Posted: 1/15/2016 2:53:49 PM

Coma_White: Thank you for your response. Since it seems the OP really has no concern as to what you meant with your statement (he was the one asking for help), no need to drag this on. Let's just say that everyone has their own view as to what constitutes a "Quality" woman and I will leave it at that. ;-)


No problem. What I'm trying to say to people is that it's good to take control of your life and thrive instead of just floating through life and coping with it. For example, I have respect for people that make an attempt to be healthy and live an active lifestyle. On ther other hand, it's hard to respect people that let themselves go, get gastric bypass surgery and still post pictures on Facebook about how good everything looks covered in bacon. Of course quality is subjective and everyone has preferences. I think living a healthy lifestyle is good advice for anyone that wants to increase their odds at the dating game.
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