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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 426
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?Page 18 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

I don't give out my number....home or cell...simple as that


A cheap prepaid cell used just for OLD is a way a person to talk to someone on the phone without giving their primary number. I don't agree with someone having my number when I don't have theirs. If a woman is going to use safety concerns as a reason, a man can have some risk from OLD as well. A woman can set up a man to be attacked to her friends. A woman has an crazy ex that doesn't her to date again. A woman is cheating on her partner and he finds out.

Having said that, when you have a first date / meeting at a public place. The vast majority of the time, the worst thing that can happen for both genders is there isn't enough interest / connection / attraction for another date. A person is probably more likely to get into a car accident driving to and from a date than have something bad happen because of OLD.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 427
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 7:42:03 AM

If a woman is going to use safety concerns as a reason, a man can have some risk from OLD as well. A woman can set up a man to be attacked to her friends. A woman has an crazy ex that doesn't her to date again. A woman is cheating on her partner and he finds out


Or a woman herself is crazy. I have male friends and relatives that used to date crazy women.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 428
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 7:45:32 AM
Well...

You know what they say about crazy women.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 429
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 8:01:17 AM
"This is in your profile ...
Above all please have an outstanding sense of humor. Be well educated, having at minimum a bachelor's degree, and feminine in appearance; dress tastefully and attractively and be height to weight proportionate.
This from a man who is unwilling to show a photo of himself and won't even consider dating a woman his own age.

That's just too funny. How do you expect anyone to take your comments in here seriously?"

>>>well, he does state above all, he'd like an outstanding sense of humor.

so what does the site say about crazy women? I haven't seen anyone post about the crazy women around here before. reminds me of Carrie Underwood's song Before He Cheats, dissing the new gal he's with and what she's willing to fall for....doesn't she see that she fell for the same cheap tricks? and now she's vandalizing his truck, how is she any better than the tramp inside?
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 430
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 9:23:39 AM
Now taking bets that "Like2dance" is "tgif" ........ wouldn't be surprised he just put down that he's from California instead of Florida.


That guy was full of himself too and only wanted to date younger women and ..............................
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 431
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 10:13:20 AM

I did not have any information on her until she gave me her phone number AFTER we agreed to meet.


There's a simple remedy for that. If you don't want to waste your time on someone, don't agree to meet that person until they give you their contact information. It's common sense, really. If they refuse to give it to you, don't agree to meet them.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 432
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 10:41:57 AM
I have met many men off this site and a few off others....never, has a man worried about my contact info.
Once....a man I was chatting with and agreeing to meet...happen to know my neighbor and more about me than I had disclosed to him....when he brought it up. It was a weird feeling....If I knew he had found out by doing research...I would have not met him at all.
I made the mistake once of letting someone know where I live....I had to threaten him with a call to the police, after he admitted driving by.
Now....you have to understand...I live out in the country, if I screamed...no one would hear me.

I usually ask for their number and have called them.....I am not taking the chance that some weirdo, can find out my home address.
I have no idea...if their on line pictures are real either.
Such are the foibles of online dating......
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 433
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 11:19:13 AM
I've rarely had a man insist on getting my phone number before meeting me, but I can understand why some people won't give theirs out due to safety concerns.

There are concerns on both sides, however. You also want to have some reassurance that the person you're talking to is who they say they are, rather than some 12-year-old boy playing games. That's why I'm a fan of prepaid cell phones.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 434
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 11:34:38 AM

I don't give out my number....home or cell...simple as that.


I had a rule. No phone number, no date. Period. No exceptions. Women that had issues were by and large super paranoid women that had huge trust issues about men. None of those were worth my time.

All the women I dated, were savvy enough to trust their instinct and at some point either provide their phone number, or when asked, provided theirs without issues. In fact, they wanted to talk, they wanted to feel more comfortable by first establishing a real verbal connection. They wanted to hear the voice, and have a quick casual talk. For them the matter of safety was to connect over the phone and see how it felt.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 435
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 12:07:24 PM
Anyone ever show up at a public venue and not be able to recognize your online contact? I have. Adding an extra 10 years to her alleged age and 20 to 40 pounds to her alleged weight can make a woman unrecognizable from photos taken 20 years ago. One woman even used photos from a prettier friend in her profile.

Too, a few times it took a text or two to find each other in a crowd.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 436
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 12:12:45 PM
IG...I never said, I wouldn't talk to them first...read my previous posts and my reasons behind it.
I prefer to chat by phone first too....has saved me from bothering to go on a meet...as well.

Women are afraid for other reasons.
It may be paranoid to you but I consider it smart. I quite often share with my young grand daughter...not to trust people on line...since it seems to be the "norm" nowadays.
I'd rather her be paranoid/smart than put herself in danger of any kind.


Anyone ever show up at a public venue and not be able to recognize your online contact?

Yes.....quite a few times....lol.
In most circumstances, it was the "age" thing and 30 llbs. lighter....so, I sized them up and knew...I could take them....if they tried anything funny.

a few times it took a text or two to find each other in a crowd.

Oh....she couldn't recognize you either?....funny!
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 437
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 12:56:31 PM

Oh....she couldn't recognize you either?....funny!


They were blind as bats. After they put their glasses on they had no problem. One even seemed surprised I looked the same as or even better than I looked in my photos.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 438
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 2:13:49 PM

If they 'fib', then they don't fit my mold.
It is that simple.

Well, if it's fibbing on their profile to some extent, and even to you to some extent, it very well could be throwing the baby out with the bathwater, is the point. Recognizing the extents, and not going by past frustration to frustrate ya into thinking they're-all-on-the-same-level is too hasty. Not to say one wouldn't be asking to be looked into and questioned more for good reasons and having a bit of a skeptical eye, stranger to stranger online (but to an extent, that already should be there in general).

But hiding one's phone should get that too. Wanting to be able to look them up but explicitly not yours is, well, looking out for yourself. Same reason it's not Really about mere inaccuracies -- it's inaccuracies that make them less attractive, not more. After all, you're not going to walk out on a gal if she put Average and she's really Thin. "Hey, a 'fib' is a 'fib', babe. No, I don't care if you wanted to put out..." ;)

You can get a cheap not-so-smart phone, and pre-paid minutes from Tracphone, activate or order minutes from a pay-phone with no trace, false name/address attached -- and nobody can trace you. But if it's a regular phone you use, it's still a regular phone you use. And pre-paid minutes are more expensive pound for pound. So if you're doing it to avoid a potential Clingy Sally, well, you're still back at square one. So wouldn't That draw just as much Skepticism from someone online? Is this an episode of 24?! :)

I've rarely had a man insist on getting my phone number before meeting me, but I can understand why some people won't give theirs out due to safety concerns.

Yeah. No *need* to text via phone when you have text via POF app. And to Insist on a gal's phone would be rude. Guys give more leeway on it though of course. They're more in position to win the gal over. A gal is going to be more in position to walk from a guy if he doesn't give his out or doesn't take her up on hers to text, or even call (which some people erroneously see as 'supposed to'; but it's not 1998).

In the end, I think it's making a mountain out of a molehill when there's too much anger/worry over things for guys about the little things. For girls, I can understand the privacy thing moreso, and most guys are going to go by the beat of their drum if it's within the range of the reasonable. When the guy doesn't, it's his loss. Which yes, sometimes could even be a good thing for him -- but over time, not such a good thing.

IMO, if she's otherwise seemingly a good catch, but doesn't give her # out to those she hasn't met (which is in the minority), having a relatively short coffee date can be a convenient route. If she wants to play the 'safe' route, that should appeal to her. But yes, I can understand a full-blown Fri/Sat night date -- but not wanting to give out her #? I find that to be pretty darn rare.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 439
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 2:47:40 PM

After all, you're not going to walk out on a gal if she put Average and she's really Thin. "Hey, a 'fib' is a 'fib', babe. No, I don't care if you wanted to put out..." ;)


Yes I am.
Now, I will be polite about it and I may even stay during the coffee meet and chat with him but the lie as my first impression of him has made him persona non grata. There is no baby with the bathwater.

EDIT: If he was absolutely dazzling and (otherwise) perfect for me, I'd be heartbroken because I'd always remember that the first thing he told me was a lie.

EDIT: Yes, I'll pay for my own coffee.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 440
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 3:20:00 PM
2ufo....I agree!
I have went out with someone and we were mutually attracted to each other.
He even changed up his profile to say...he found someone, after our second or first real date....I told him he was being foolish.
I'm not too easy to fall for charming fellas.

Unfortunately, dating within an area....a female friend knew him..ugh!
His story didn't quite jive and when I caught him in a lie....I gave him the benefit of the doubt to fess up.
But he straight out lied to my face again...done!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 441
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 3:41:09 PM

Yes I am. .... If he was absolutely dazzling and (otherwise) perfect for me, I'd be heartbroken because I'd always remember that the first thing he told me was a lie.

For putting "Average" instead of his body being above-average in your (even correct) view? I strongly doubt. Why? It's not at all necessarily a lie. Which is my point, in this case. If he looked better than his photos, you'll walk -- and think he's a liar? Riiight. I can see totally Different -- but better, to where he's more fitting for Athletic or should have updated his pictures in your mind because he looks better to you than his pics?

If you think that has to be lying, then yes -- there is baby with that bathwater.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 442
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 4:33:50 PM

Posted By:gtomustang;
snip.........reminds me of Carrie Underwood's song Before He Cheats, dissing the new gal he's with and what she's willing to fall for....doesn't she see that she fell for the same cheap tricks? and now she's vandalizing his truck, how is she any better than the tramp inside?


How is she better, than the Tramp inside? You can't take Before He Cheats by itself...
If You watch/listen to the Prequel, Last Name , then You would know.....
She is Married to the cheating guy.....
So, is She just another Tramp, or a Naive Young Lady?

Last Name
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f27zNlmRMWU

Before He Cheats
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSy8yy-mr8
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 443
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 6:05:36 PM
Thanks for including the video. On first viewing, she's blaming the booze, notices she's getting into a Pinto and not that he's winking at EVERY gal, and gets married not even knowing his last name (or maybe much else about him). I guess that "bathroom Polo" really does the trick :)

Does it sound like naïve youthfulness, or willingly naïve or....? I'm posing that question to everyone. I've expressed my opinion of Holly Go Lightly from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" before, so people can guess my answer to BBE's question. But i'll repeat it for others...what is the opinion they have of the character sung about in Carrie Underwood's two songs?

(not that i'm picking on her, I don't know a thing about her, just heard the song a zillion times.)

as for the telephone issue...sometimes plans go awry, and its nice to be able to call. or maybe text, I guess that's how everyone else in the world does things now.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 444
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 8:12:42 PM


Yes I am. .... If he was absolutely dazzling and (otherwise) perfect for me, I'd be heartbroken because I'd always remember that the first thing he told me was a lie.


For putting "Average" instead of his body being above-average in your (even correct) view? I strongly doubt. Why? It's not at all necessarily a lie. Which is my point, in this case. If he looked better than his photos, you'll walk -- and think he's a liar? Riiight. I can see totally Different -- but better, to where he's more fitting for Athletic or should have updated his pictures in your mind because he looks better to you than his pics?

If you think that has to be lying, then yes -- there is baby with that bathwater.


Now you are traipsing in the gray area of 'judgment' and 'opinion' rather than actual facts. Facts can be proven/disproven while opinion is an expression of how someone feels. Saying 'average' when he thinks he's 'below average' or 'above average' is simply an opinion. You can doubt and play definition games all you want, it doesn't change my actions or reactions in regards to someone who has deliberately falsified information (i.e. divorced, 5'11, 185 lbs, drives a Ferrari) in order to get what he wants. I suspect you can see the difference. There are a lot of criteria - most, in fact - that I personally am non-judgmental about. Deliberate deception is not one of these.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 445
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 8:33:47 PM

I've rarely had a man insist on getting my phone number before meeting me, but I can understand why some people won't give theirs out due to safety concerns.


Most women I have talked to from OLD were willing to exchange numbers. Some of these women gave me their number after a few emails on their own. I didn't have to ask for it. The ironic thing is there are women that refuse to a man from OLD their number. But give their number to men at a social establishment after a brief conversation. The men they see in public are just likely to be rapists, murders, domestic abusers etc as the men in OLD.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 446
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 9:28:03 PM


After all, you're not going to walk out on a gal if she put Average and she's really Thin. "Hey, a 'fib' is a 'fib', babe. No, I don't care if you wanted to put out..." ;)
Yes I am.

You just said you'd walk if they chose Average instead of Athletic (or Thin in gal example) when it was clearly more fitting -- which yes, is a judgment call but also a correct call on most-accurate-answer, even though there's overlapping gray-areas, as you point out. Point being, they're clearly better looking than their pics / selection -- people won't walk. If they're clearly not as good looking as it -- people will.

someone who has deliberately falsified information (i.e. divorced, 5'11, 185 lbs, drives a Ferrari) in order to get what he wants.

No, I agree... if he's 5'7" and still 185lbs (not in the good way), and instead drives a yellow 1998 Honda because that's his Current wife's older car and he's low on cash -- YES, run for the hills! Of course. :)
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 447
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/5/2016 10:36:42 PM



After all, you're not going to walk out on a gal if she put Average and she's really Thin. "Hey, a 'fib' is a 'fib', babe. No, I don't care if you wanted to put out..." ;)

Yes I am.

You just said you'd walk if they chose Average instead of Athletic (or Thin in gal example) when it was clearly more fitting -- which yes, is a judgment call but also a correct call on most-accurate-answer, even though there's overlapping gray-areas, as you point out. Point being, they're clearly better looking than their pics / selection -- people won't walk. If they're clearly not as good looking as it -- people will.

Yes, my gaffe; after posting, I realized this was one of those grey areas - although you seem to say that no one has ethics when it comes to getting an 'upgraded' partner.

If someone put average and was amazingly muscled (I like guys, not gals), I'd ask why they put average. If someone put average and was overweight, I'd ask why they put average. Those answers would probably determine if I considered this person as future date or if that meeting chat was more than enough.

As I said, there are gray areas that we need to be able to understand the intention. Unless it was a misunderstanding, a reasonable explanation, or the workings of time (i.e. put down average when he just started the gym or just broke his leg) then I would probably not consider a second date because, if they weren't out and out lying then they were being intentionally misleading. I don't really care for that either.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 448
liar liar, pants on fire. take them off over here
Posted: 5/6/2016 7:56:40 AM
shoot, I find that people who post a horror story and have a great profile pic, are entertaining. Those who post with no pic, their words are left to speak for themselves. Sometimes, a different judgement occurs in the responses.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 449
liar liar, pants on fire. take them off over here
Posted: 5/6/2016 9:19:45 AM
^^^
GTO - is that directed at me? I'm not sure what you're implying with 'different judgement'.
Still, it's all entertaining - sometimes shake-my-head funny and sometimes the train-wreck's-coming-but-I-can't-not-watch grimacing.

Sometimes words get misunderstood or are intentionally misleading.
Photos get misunderstood a lot less.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 450
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 11:35:21 AM

I realized this was one of those grey areas

Yeah, it is a selection of interpretation -- but sometimes even not-so-gray where it can be even clearly an inaccurate answer, but sure, gives room for it. But why would people not be so upset about Athletic when they said Average? Or even vice-versa much of the time, as long as they more or less seemed to fit the profile? If you were to take the same level of inaccuracy, which may be mild, and throw it in the positive -- hey, no complains there! Bonus! But if it's in the negative, it's Negative Bonus! And sometimes to avoid sounding/feeling superficial, we can be too hasty to call them out on being dishonest. I mean, that would make it feel better for ourselves if we had ourselves believe it, if it could technically be true, and that person was OK looking from the start (just enough to land a date with), but then a notch below -- especially when coupled with a persona that doesn't seem like a great match either (which could happen anyway with anyone on 1st meet date).

If someone put average and was amazingly muscled (I like guys, not gals), I'd ask why they put average. If someone put average and was overweight, I'd ask why they put average. Those answers would probably determine if I considered this person as future date or if that meeting chat was more than enough.

Yeah, and I think that's how most folks are. They expect differences, sometimes for the better to some degree, many times for the not-so-good to some degree (latter happens more often). As long as it's not a "Whoah, dude. Seriously? Did you just get on a Reverse-Weight-Watchers diet? Average, my a$$!"

When it comes to lying, there's other things like them putting in the wrong (adjacent) city. Their explanation can be that they don't want stalkers. Same thing with blocking their caller ID or using some google phone # -- that too can raise eyebrows about them hiding their trail from something else (SO perhaps?). Or saying they had only 1 kid, but you found out they had 3. OMG, they're lying! Well, no, 2 grew up already and aren't kids anymore.

Or even say they put a purposely not-so-flattering photo up -- but IRL you're Wow'd? But they do that because they don't want attraction to have much pull (they didn't put up a Horrid pic; just one from last year in their temporary out-of-shape range and just not great pics on top of it)... going from seemingly OK/kinda-cute to Niiiiiiiice. Are they playing the card that I once did -- where you know by the human psyche that if you look noticeably better than your pic, you'll be perceived as even Better looking than the positive difference? :) If so, what's the difference between that and dolling oneself up for a first meet, where they look better than any given Sunday?

Unless it was a misunderstanding, a reasonable explanation ..... I would probably not consider a second date because if they weren't out and out lying then they were being intentionally misleading

If they are intentionally misleading, they are lying, yeah. Lying comes in varient degrees, and different shapes & sizes. We tend to judge it based on how much it affects us negatively -- especially when we see the same brand too often.
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