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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do "fat" women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them      Home login  
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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 451
liar liar, pants on fire. take them off over herePage 19 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
oh no, 2ufo, I just mean over the years, in a general sense, one person might complain about their lot in life, and we judge them one way. A hottie might make a similar complaint, and we're more...sympathetic :) its human nature. but yes, the forums are fun, b/c human nature is fun.

as for appearances, I find some humans are very cognizant of difference in appearance. but they are aware of differences in a lot of things. they tend to be curious about the world around them, so they are very aware of the world around them. they can easily walk a mile in the shoes of another. other people, however, focus on only what the world delivers to them. they can rationalize what they do to other people. their focus is inward. if they guess their body type wrong--hey, that's everyone else's fault! the world should accept them for what they are, and they shouldn't have to return the favor.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 452
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 2:28:17 PM
NG - Based upon your post just above - where you say
Lying comes in varient degrees, and different shapes & sizes.
and an earlier post where you say
My point is, someone fibbing on their profile for searches to *some* degree doesn't necessarily mean they fit the mold of liar in life


To me, this indicates that a 'lie' really isn't a lie for you, particularly if you benefit from it.
Yeah, there are different sizes of lies: "I didn't kill my ex-wife" is certainly more momentous than "I didn't kill my ex-wife's goldfish." But, they are both lies.
There are opinions. "This photo of you is more attractive than that photo of you" or "You look great in this outdoor light but your profile photo was terrible." They are not based on facts.

Someone who fibs on their profile to collect more initially interested people for dating IS a liar intending to cheat someone. Lies can be a trivial matter. I don't care if the man I meet has no children or three children, works as a physician or a janitor, does or doesn't have a car, is or isn't taller than me. But I do care that he lies about it.

To me, a lie is a lie; it has crossed the line and is now diametrically opposed to fact.
Someone who lies is a liar.
No matter how attractive they are.

GTO -
... human nature is fun.
Very!
Thanks for the explanation - I wasn't sure.

EDIT FOR BELOW:
Well, I am fat and I am offended by someone thinking I would welcome a liar - possibly because I can't 'hope' for anyone better because I am obese but...
I think that's stretching.
Back to OT.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 453
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 2:30:10 PM
I am wondering if the last several pages of posts offend fat women.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 454
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 455
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 6:30:00 PM

I am wondering if the last several pages of posts offend fat women.


I am wondering who would get offended if a thread were started about people with missing teeth getting offended when someone responds back telling them they're not interested? Or who would get offended if a thread were started about age liars getting offended when someone responds back telling them they're not interested?

Someone is going to get offended, no matter what the reason you reject them for is, or how politely you do it---even if they're not the ones who are actually being rejected.
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 4/29/2016
Msg: 456
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 6:37:44 PM
I cannot control the opinions of others, but do evolve from criticism. Introspection is a powerful tool I use for self examination. When something bothers me personally I try to make changes for myself to be happier. However at this life juncture Im content with being over weight. After a life time of exercise, and dieting its quite liberating to find happiness with food. I do eat a basically healthy diet, but I no longer deny myself that pint of Ben and Jerry's. If I want two big pieces of chocolate cake, I eat them without running around the block five times. I got older and tired of killing myself to keep trim. My size 12 suits me fine, along with the last two pages of this thread. Ive given up many things in life like alcohol, cursing, getting angry, sex outside a committed LTR, red meat, smoking, and most processed foods. By golly Im gonna bake myself a pan of whole wheat, brown sugar brownies, and eat the entire darn thing for dinner if that's what I want.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 457
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/6/2016 8:55:30 PM
This is directed at no one, just me responding, again:
I've come to think of this issue differently.
I don't consider myself "fat", to me, a few pounds overweight is accurate.
Some might meet me and say, "Sorry, you ARE fat", others might meet me and wonder WHY I would even consider myself overweight.
I'm that "In between" size.
What I'm ABOUT to say is jmo, but it's how I feel:
None of us are perfect.
There are men on here who are my height, or less, and get rejected all the time over their height.
With some men, it's that they are bald, or maybe they don't make enough money, etc.
With women, it's the weight issue, or maybe THEY are under 5 feet and get rejected.
The common thread is that these things are EXTERNAL.
They don't make us who we are, they don't define us, unless.........We LET it.
Personally, I HATE the term "fat".
It does nothing but shame and hurt someone, so what good does it do?
The change I am talking about has taken place in ME.
If someone rejects me over my weight and is KIND about it, honest, then fair enough, they said it, I get it, nothing else needs to be said.
SO, WHY go so far as to say I'm fat?!
Saying something like that speaks to another issue, which is who the person is INSIDE.
We ALL face two fates:
We die, OR.......
We age and loose our looks.
It is our fate, if we fall in the latter group and get older, that even someone IS thin, we aren't attractive anymore due to ageing, which catches up to us ALL.
I am NOT immune to being attracted to the outside, I'm not blind and I'm human.
BUT, It is the INSIDE that keeps me, looks make me look, but who the person is as a person is what KEEPS me.
Everyone feel free to debate away, but I am stead fast in MY opinion that those focusing on the outside have a RUDE awakening coming when they REALLY need the person they are with to BE there and then wonder why they loose them as soon as a challenge comes up.
Those of you FOCUSED on looks, go right ahead, but forgive me while I have NO sympathy for you when life hands you something you don't expect and the person you got with leaves rather than stay by your side.
When you focus on looks and ignore who someone IS, you wind up getting EXACTLY what you asked for.
Our body's are a shell that contain our spirit, some would call it our soul.
Looks will only get someone so far, if I am dealing with the kind of man I want, my looks will be secondary to who I am on the INSIDE, because all bs aside, THAT is who I am.
 2beetoo
Joined: 4/20/2016
Msg: 458
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:01:38 PM
Banagrl, it's a function of what a person wants out of a relationship. You use the word looks. I think more accurate is attraction. If you want a physical relationship as well as a good friend...are you physically attracted to each other? Or are you willing to settle for a good friend and companionship? I would guess the older a person, the more likely they will settle for companionship. I doubt too many eighty year olds will be attracted physically to one another.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 459
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:15:13 PM

To me, this indicates that a 'lie' really isn't a lie for you, particularly if you benefit from it.

For me myself? No, I'm talking about society. I'm saying Yes, they all ARE lies, to those who are picky and run hastily at the sheer concept looking for them -- but that everyone lies. It's not a belief that lies don't exist. But it's the context in which they're made -- and understanding that the world doesn't revolve around us. So when one is doing so on a profile that's not made for you or I, but for the market -- it should be taken into consideration when judging.

Someone who fibs on their profile to collect more initially interested people for dating IS a liar intending to cheat someone.

Great. So when not by mistake they select Average, when they Are in fact (a few more than literally) A Few Extra Pounds -- they're a LIAR and are intending to cheat someone, right? A few extra pounds is more specific -- they Know that. But they also know that's Accepted and done that way by others as Kosher -- plus, the person can see their pics. Point is, people are going to fib on certain things that are considered acceptable by many, for marketing reasons. And you're not going to mind, if it's for the positive, even though it's technically fibbing (or they fib that it was a misunderstanding when you ask them; and you'll never know).

To me, a lie is a lie;

That's the problem. If you literally believe that and Literally follow thru on that notion in life -- it's not in your best interest. You lie. Everyone lies. It's about how/where/when and it's implications. So from me to you, liar to liar, we're all liars. :)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 460
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 1:38:11 PM

Banagrl, it's a function of what a person wants out of a relationship. You use the word looks. I think more accurate is attraction. If you want a physical relationship as well as a good friend...are you physically attracted to each other? Or are you willing to settle for a good friend and companionship? I would guess the older a person, the more likely they will settle for companionship. I doubt too many eighty year olds will be attracted physically to one another.


And you would be wrong, never assume what other people might find attractive.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 461
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 6:50:41 PM

If you literally believe that and Literally follow thru on that notion in life -- it's not in your best interest

It IS in my best interest to avoid liars.
It is also in my best interest to avoid people who believe a lie is acceptable, especially if everyone else lies also.
I guess that's my 'picky'.
 Akitahun
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 462
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 7:52:33 PM
I have had a lot more dates after losing 70 lbs!! FAT is not attractive in either sex.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 463
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 8:10:50 PM
^ Good on ya! Not only do you look great, but you have a whole demographic to insult ;)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 464
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 8:23:16 PM
Lmao at the folks claiming Athletic = I dieted.

WTF?
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 4/29/2016
Msg: 465
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 8:52:00 PM
^ I just had a hearty laugh reading that! I might be able to hike up a mountain side, and I used to surf every single time there were waves (FL and NC- sometimes here in NY), but I never once claimed to be athletic. Dieting is a far cry from being ripped. To me that's athletic.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 466
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/7/2016 8:55:58 PM
^^^^

Exactly!

To me?

Athletic = ripped. They eat baby food all day.

+/- 30lbs is fine with me.

YMMV
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 467
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 7:57:08 AM

Good on ya! Not only do you look great, but you have a whole demographic to insult ;)


Sometimes it's the former obese people can be rude towards obese people. Reminds of me of "ex-nerd" that gets accepted into the "cool" kids group in high school. Then stops hanging out with his/her old crew and starts making fun of the "nerds".
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 468
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 8:30:04 AM
Seems one simply cannot fix stupid.
When til the weigh returns and we hear her whining how shallow those younger WHITE men she is interested are when it comes to a few extra pounds
cheeseandcrackers
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 469
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 8:32:18 AM
Well...ok...I have to throw in some 'being technical' stuff - I think that the term 'athletic' means simply a degree of cardiovascular and aerobic fitness and capability, in particular. So that a person doesn't have to be 'ripped', doesn't need to have a lot of strength, nor a lot of ability in a particular area. I see it as a general adjective. But not referring to anything specific or your weight or how toned you are. Obviously you can't be excessively overweight and be able to hike up a mountain every morning without some trouble...but if you're able to play a tennis match with someone (even if you always lose) for example, even though you haven't gotten yourself 'ripped' or can squat or press 200 lbs 20 times without stopping, I'd call that 'athletic'.

This makes me think of when people ask 'is something a sport' or 'is this person an athlete' and they go back and forth between the 'sport' concept and the 'athlete' concept, using them interchangeably, without realizing it. And it's important because 'sport' and 'athlete' are very different things.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 470
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 8:33:57 AM
I think this profile with the: I'm lying about my age, but don't contact me if you're older, and if you're not interested if you're younger, you're a bad person and I just lost 70 lbs. so now I'm athletic gave me this headache I now have.

People get offended for all kinds of reasons. I'm offended by liars who give me a headache.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 471
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 9:57:26 AM

I have had a lot more dates after losing 70 lbs!! FAT is not attractive in either sex.


Not true, many people like fat, some have a fetish for fat, others just like roly poly people, others like someone and fat or not doesn't matter. There are dating sites for people looking for fat people, you see fat people all the time in public with partners. What in the world makes you need to say that fat is not attractive to either sex? You didn't like your fat and you lost some of it, good for you, but why the need to say the above?
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 4/29/2016
Msg: 472
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 10:24:35 AM
It is my personal opinion that being "in shape", and being "athletic" are two totally different things. I've never met a true athlete that wasn't "ripped" by either having a very low body fat index (you can see their muscle tones), or from regularly lifting weights as part of their exercise routine.

I am definitely in shape, but I am a far cry from athletic.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 473
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:08:15 AM

Not true, many people like fat, some have a fetish for fat, others just like roly poly people, others like someone and fat or not doesn't matter.


I think the majority of people in either gender aren't attracted to people that are significantly overweight / obese. But yes, there are some people that will date/or and prefer that particular body type.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 474
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:25:53 AM



To me, a lie is a lie;
If you literally believe that and Literally follow thru on that notion in life -- it's not in your best interest. You lie. Everyone lies. It's about how/where/when and it's implications.
It IS in my best interest to avoid liars. It is also in my best interest to avoid people who believe a lie is acceptable, especially if everyone else lies also.

You took just a slice of what I said, so I wanted to put it in full context: If a lie is a lie is a lie, then basically you're banishing yourself, kids, parents, and all friends as well. If you don't believe that there's differences, sometimes small, but more importantly sometimes vast between one lie and another, then That is not in your best interest. Obviously you're not banishing everyone in life including yourself of course -- my point is, it depends on the lie that we'll actually call a meaningful lie or get offended by (ex: "No honey, you look great", selecting Avg instead of a Few Extra when it's Clear they're at least a little overweight although not 'fat'). Point is: A lie is not a lie is not a lie. They vary. And yeah, it can be a pain in the arse sometimes dealing with it, so it can be easy just to cast the concept as a whole as bad or all roughly equal, but we'd be lying to ourselves to believe that's literally true. :)

Not true, many people like fat, some have a fetish for fat, others just like roly poly people, others like someone and fat or not doesn't matter.

I dunno if I can agree with 'Many' people in terms of true Like, unless you're defining it like fashion model critics would ("You ate *6* crackers? All of them?!"). I think that's pushing optimism too far for someone down on their luck. Aside from the fetish of preferring 'fat', and those truly Liking it, I think it's just that some people like a gal with some meat on her bones... which will include some guys who Don't Mind gals who are actually 'fat' to a decent extent, based on what they feasibly can or can't get in the dating field, when as a bonus they've come to enjoy the other "assets" (bigger rounder arse & chest) that many times comes along with it.

It is my personal opinion that being "in shape", and being "athletic" are two totally different things.

I agree. On the profile it is about Body Shape/Build-- the sculpt of your body, not how athletic of a person you actually are. Both "in shape" and "athletic" differ in terms of body-type and how they actually are. As far as body sculpt goes, one can be in-shape (noticeably not out of shape), but not have a seemingly athletic build... and one can have an athletic build but actually not be very in-shape (they can't jog a mile without stopping; but man, he/she has a nice athletic body!).
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 475
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 1:17:57 PM

I have had a lot more dates after losing 70 lbs!! FAT is not attractive in either sex.


I can see more men liking a woman after she loses a lot of weight. But implying no one is attracted to fat people is a stretch.
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