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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do "fat" women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them      Home login  
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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 26
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?Page 2 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
Also, I'm not saying people have to respond when they are not interested. However not responding doesn't always prevent rude emails. Some people have told me that they got rude emails because they didn't reply. I have also seen profiles that mention they got rude emails because they didn't reply.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/8/2016 11:34:27 PM
bamagirl has a point. Your profile needs to say something like you prefer women who are fit and work out etc.
You do care about appearances as we all do and you need to get rid of that lie. Again, don't buy into or respond to the women that do not interest you.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 28
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 6:06:20 AM
POF already has the 7 year +/- age restrictions. Perhaps should require a percentage of bodyfat measure, validated by a lab and restrict contacts possible to those within +/- 2 or 3 %..》?
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 29
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 6:31:50 AM
No offense to anyone, but who cares. What you need to do is stop living in drama. If you are so possessed with sending a rejection email to someone, then stup reading their rebuttal. If you have told them you aren't interested, what could they possibly have to say in return that would be so compelling to open the email?


Good luck OP.
 50ThousandAnd2
Joined: 1/5/2016
Msg: 30
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 6:36:58 AM
Perhaps OLD is not the venue for you?

Try meeting women IRL where you can see them in their entirety, including their body, etc.

This would eliminate: Myspace Angles, Photoshop Queens, Old Pix, Pix of Someone Else & No Pix!
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 31
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 11:05:49 AM

If they get offended, it's because they feel like once AGAIN.. they have been rejected because of physical appearance before a person even took the time to find out that they are kind, sweet, intelligent, funny... and it probably gets old
I have male friends who complain because women do the same thing to them because they are not 6' tall. Online dating is a shot at someone getting to know you based on who you are - not necessarily what you look like.


Amen to that, cookymaker! (see message 5)

I am a heavier set woman – have battled the weight issue my entire life in spite of working hard, doing exercise tapes every morning and trying to eat healthier. What is sad is how society as a whole is so judgmental of others. If you don’t meet a societal standard, you are thrown up against the ropes big time.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been rejected because of it. – but then…have had the rejecting party try to contact me many months, even years down the road because all their options and prospects ran dry, they’re bored, lonely, and yes, want to get laid. – and my name somehow comes up. Needless to say, I don’t answer the correspondence as the proverbial train is a million miles down the track and I don’t look back. – I deserve better than that.

For us heavier women it matters NOT how successful or educated we are. Doesn’t matter how nice, giving, caring, loving, or sweet we are…..we get the same damn thing over and over and over again, and yes, it does get very frustrating.


Do you only reject fat women…..?


Dayna (see message 6)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve perused profiles that come out and say….”must be height/weight proportionate” or worse yet….”NO fat chicks”. – Sad but true.


I'm just gonna be straight up blunt, you're a judgemental prick and an ***hole. What more can I tell you. You're in your 20s now but looks will fade with age, and were the roles reversed and you had a woman reject you because of the fact you're chubby you wouldn't like it. You might not care if it was one girl rejecting you, but if you constantly get rejected by tons of women for being overweight you're going to see just how unkind it is and how bad it feels. Sorry not sorry. Judgemental people always end up alone


Rocketboy … (see message 12)

Well you hit the nail on the head…..and yes I have maintained at the end of the day looks DO fade…..but I’ll add to that and use a quote from the late Nipsey Russell…..

“Beauty is only skin deep……but ugly goes clear to the bone.”
 jayj02015
Joined: 12/10/2015
Msg: 32
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 11:59:17 AM
It Has nothing go do with what society thinks as a whole to me. I cannot help if Im not sttracted to overweight women. That does not make me judgemental if i do not want to be in a relationship with someone Im not attracted to. I deserve to be Happy in a relationship just likd everyone else does. If you think Im judvemental because of that then you are the one with problems.

And also on another note. I would NEVER settle with with some overweight woman cor a quick fix because i wanted to get laid.
 kandykane111
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 33
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 12:35:27 PM
Again, the OP was not rude in his replies so why are y'all dumping on him? Are you just releasing years of pent up frustration of being rejected? Hell, we've all been rejected for one thing or another and many of us have been for most of our lives. Too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too old, too young, don't make enough money, you're not a brunette, not educated enough, too educated, I'm way smarter than you/you intimidate me. FFS, get over it. ALL of us have been rejected and ALL of us have rejected others of some reason that is valid or might seem shallow.

And no, the OP is not a "judgmental pick and an ***hole". Far from it. Actually, the poster who called him this is, IMO, the ***hole. How many people hasnthenperson in message 12 rejected and for what reason? We all say "thanks but no thanks" to many otherwise we'd all be n here for a month tops and have our forever partner.

Yes, "ugly goes to the bone" but this yong man, the OP, is not being ugly. As well, the "oh poor me, nobody loves me because I'm fat (or pick an reason)" gets tiring too.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 34
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 3:37:16 PM
I'm not in the least offended by you not being interested in fat women, I'm questioning why you needed to post that you don't date fat women. I don't date muscle men, so I totally understand, the look is a turn off to me, but it's not a slam toward men who work to have abs, etc., plenty of people are attracted to them, as are (whether you believe it or not) many people attracted to fat people. It's just a preference and we aren't in control of what we see & like, it just is. But since you know full well the answer to all of this is to not state anything in your profile that would make fat women think they have a chance, and then make a post about fat women contacting you. It's simple enough, say something non-insulting about what type of look you want in women. Why make this post? What in the world would it accomplice? Unless it's intended to slam fat people, what's the point? As for those offended when you are not being offensive, there's nothing you can do about that. The title of your post is really pretty telling.
 RR Man
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 35
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 5:19:16 PM
"It is was it is, I am larger than average (yes fat) and it appeals to some and not others."
======================================================================
I'm one of those guys who likes bigger women. My ex was 340 when I married her in 1988. We broke up in 2001, but that didn't have anything to do with her size one way or another.

So, yes, I'd be appreciative of some messages from larger women. :-)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 36
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 7:04:58 PM
I agree that we are entitled to our preferences and as you are young and fit looking you naturally want the same.

You could counter these women who abuse you, with the question "how many overweight men have you contacted?'"

They are really looking to shame you for your preferences and play the judgemental card..... Overweight usually means unhealthy and who really wants that? . If women really were worried about how they are slighted for their weight, they could go some way to losing some of it, after all. Heredity plays a certain part but not 100%.

As many have said no response is a response..
 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 37
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/9/2016 9:07:00 PM
The reason for starting this thread? I guess only the heifers are biting. They say your age group has problems online, just too many young men, and why would any sought after gal of 20 open herself to being a target more than she gets irl?

The question is your motive or any guy of 20's motive for being online.( Or, over 20).

Is it laziness, fear, greed, validation, impatience, fast food mentality...thinking all you have to do is some back door negotiation, make an arrangement, than communicating and getting to know a person, developing a ltr?

If one seeks out boutique a la carte compartmentalized experiences, like fwb, fb, nsa, etc...they come online.
Op, not saying that is your intent, but that's why a lot of guys are here, so relationship seeking women go elsewhere and meet irl situations.

What are YOUR deficits? Motives?
One has to ask why people rant about online but remain there, and don't favor other venues, make excuses of being busy.
If one wants a gfbf, there are logical places to go.

Online is a strange lottery. It is free to play and not that hard to win some sort of prize, but beware the prize, too often.
 a_djentleman
Joined: 12/18/2015
Msg: 38
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/10/2016 3:45:05 AM
Dafuq still has Affliction shit is 2016?
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 39
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/10/2016 11:03:56 AM
I agree with previous comments that OP's profile could be causing some problems.

You write quite a bit about how external appearance is not what you are looking for, OP, but just one small line at the end about how attraction is important. You do say it involves "taking care of oneself" but after putting so much weight on things like values, it just is NOT going to pop out to an overweight girl that you mean not being fat. It could mean showering, wearing clothing which is clean (at least paper bag clean) staying healthy (which does NOT mean slim, given that eating disorders are so prevalent) and a whole litany of other things.

I suggest strongly you rewrite your profile. The way it is now, you are drawing in the very women you do not want. It is probably frustrating to you, and not entirely fair to them.

Also, I suggest putting right in the beginning something about attraction being important, and you do find yourself attracted to women who are physically fit, slim to average or something like that. Then you can go on and say, that being said, I am looking for someone ... talk about values, etc here.


Hope that helps. On the other hand, I am not sure where this fear of fat comes from nowadays with young people. Also not sure what you are considering fat. When I was young, there was a wide range of body shapes and sizes men were attracted to. As well as of course, vice versa.
 sapphirine71
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 40
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/26/2016 3:12:52 PM
I'm a really old woman so am not even remotely interested in you. There are real people behind the profiles and a little kindness never hurt anyone. I have known many beautiful outside ugly inside people in my life. You really do want beautiful inside. Making a statement like most women your age aren't very smart, shows a decided lack of compassion.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 41
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/26/2016 3:47:46 PM
mangosfor you

I am curious, do you get many contacts at this stage of life? You have paid for an upgrade which I hear makes no difference really and are you on sites that cater for more mature women? Just interested.
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 42
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/27/2016 12:14:10 AM
wrote before I checked profile sorry
 PennyAnte
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 43
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/28/2016 7:03:57 AM
One of the oldest stories in history. Cain slew his brother because God preferred his gifts. People get jealous and angry when they are rejected. I can't empathize... it never happens to me, of course. LOL.
 Cdan1957
Joined: 9/17/2013
Msg: 44
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/28/2016 8:45:39 AM
OP, You are attracted to what you are attracted to. I completely understand and agree. You are beginning to understand why many people use the "no reply is a reply" method. One of the things you are going to realize is that you cannot control the acts of others and it is a complete lack of effort and time to try. It is just as big waste of time to try and understand why people say and do the things they do. If you really feel the necessity to respond to those who emailed you then accept the fact that many people handle rejection badly and find the delete button and feel free to use it without recourse.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 45
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 10:48:27 AM

I simply respond "not interested sorry", or just "not interested" ..I don't believe I need to say anymore then that. Now when they receive their response, often times they respond back extremely angry with me, telling me that I'm judgemental, or "how do you know?"

I don't think it's an overweight thing -- it's just that you're more often going to be non-interested, and thus, more often going to hear blowback from ticked off parties. When you're in real good shape and showing it in your profile, I guess an out of shape gal casting out a line is going to be more upset than if you weren't so obviously in great shape... that could only aid in their frustration, I guess.

But the bottom line is you shouldn't respond with a "No thanks / Not Interested". Just don't respond. It lessens the chances one will get ticked at you.

I take care of myself well and I would expect the same from you). (Not meaning to be shallow, but I just thought I'd mention it)
vs
"I live a healthy lifestyle; I work out regularly and eat and drink in moderation, and I expect the same from you. (Not meaning to be shallow, but I just thought I'd mention it)"

I don't see any emotional difference between these two... they're saying the same thing directly. Changing "take care of myself well" vs "living a healthy lifestyle" -- I could see one person thinking one was more c0cky than the other in either direction, depending on their tastes.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 46
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 12:50:04 PM
I got offended because a guy, who stated in his profile that he is into BBWs contacted me. Made me wonder....like WTF, now I look like a BBW?
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 47
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 2:18:43 PM
Well at least they don't say BUW..
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 48
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 2:29:56 PM

I got offended because a guy, who stated in his profile that he is into BBWs contacted me. Made me wonder....like WTF, now I look like a BBW?


Maybe he watches lots of tv where 'average' is actually anorexic????
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 49
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 2:57:19 PM

I got offended because a guy, who stated in his profile that he is into BBWs contacted me. Made me wonder....like WTF, now I look like a BBW?


Hey don't feel bad...I've been told I'm too fat to be relationship material and I'm no BBW.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 50
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 1/31/2016 4:46:02 PM
karma

the guy contacted you because he is probably just random hitting and will go with anyone who responds. He may be into BBW's because he feels they will be easier to bed or he thinks anyone above starvation weight is BBW.

I would not worry about what some guy may think. You don't know that he is playing with a full deck, after all. You know by now it takes all kinds in this big murky pond. lol!
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