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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 476
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?Page 20 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
a mound of fat is sexy when there's a nipple on top of it :)

i'll admit, I've seen women with faces so pretty, even gaining weight did little to make them unattractive. but I've also seen slender women, who I can tell if they gained weight, I wouldn't notice them.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 477
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 5:50:49 PM




To me, a lie is a lie;

If you literally believe that and Literally follow thru on that notion in life -- it's not in your best interest. You lie. Everyone lies. It's about how/where/when and it's implications.
It IS in my best interest to avoid liars. It is also in my best interest to avoid people who believe a lie is acceptable, especially if everyone else lies also.

You took just a slice of what I said, so I wanted to put it in full context: If a lie is a lie is a lie, then basically you're banishing yourself, kids, parents, and all friends as well. If you don't believe that there's differences, sometimes small, but more importantly sometimes vast between one lie and another, then That is not in your best interest. Obviously you're not banishing everyone in life including yourself of course -- my point is, it depends on the lie that we'll actually call a meaningful lie or get offended by (ex: "No honey, you look great", selecting Avg instead of a Few Extra when it's Clear they're at least a little overweight although not 'fat'). Point is: A lie is not a lie is not a lie. They vary. And yeah, it can be a pain in the arse sometimes dealing with it, so it can be easy just to cast the concept as a whole as bad or all roughly equal, but we'd be lying to ourselves to believe that's literally true. :)

I think it is in my best interest to avoid you.
You seem to think there is a difference between a lie and a lie.
You seem to think a lie is justified in everyday life.
You seem to think that everyone does it.
I wonder about the people you surround yourself with.
Do not tell me what is in my best interest. At best, it is rude.

Yes, I understand the difference between a 'big lie' and a 'little fib'. I don't condone either. Little fibs lead to big lies. A person who gets by (or is allowed to get by) with lies believes that it doesn't matter or that s/he will never get caught. They don't learn the morality of telling the truth because a lie is so much easier and gets you out of trouble in the short term and if you smile just right people will think you're cute and endearing.

I avoid people who lie. Most don't even notice.
Some people, I can't avoid - like my family. I call them on lies. With older people in the family usually politely saying, "I think you've misinterpreted that" or "I don't believe those are the facts" or (my favorite), "I think you've embellished that story".
With kids, it's simply "That seems to be a lie. Will you tell me more?"
We rarely lie; actually our mode seems to be an overabundance of information (i.e. we talk a lot) and that attribute in a person does not make for a good liar.

On the gray area you keep coming back to - profile listing of 'average', 'few extra pounds', 'obese'. Some of that can be a judgment call, there is no real line dividing average from few extra pounds though there is the BMI cutoff for obese. I'll listen to their reasoning and most will say "You wouldn't have dated me if I'd chosen anything else". The answer to that is "I certainly won't date you now that you've proven yourself a liar". Like your comment of "That is not in your best interest", it assumes that you know me and how I feel and react when neither you nor he know anything about me that's not written on my profile.

It's a pain in the ass to deal with a lot of things in life; I chose to not have to deal with liars as well.

*sigh* Long post - see, I told you I come from a long line of blabbermouths.
EDIT:
I think I'm going to retire from posting in this thread for a while.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 478
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/8/2016 7:27:57 PM

You seem to think there is a difference between a lie and a lie.

Yeah, of course they vary. That's just common sense, right? I don't know why you're getting so offended by it. I'm honestly not trying to be a jerk at all by any means.

You seem to think a lie is justified in everyday life.

I'm not making the case that all lies are justified whatsoever. But it's that there are some lies that we don't like to call *lies* because they are justified, or do not even carry any potential burden on anyone. The problem is, people Can of course misfire on their assumptions, and go down a slippery slope where they think it's ok but it's not so much. They don't realize it's not so much so when they think something is not so much it is a lot, etc. I'm just taking the observational POV, is all.

You seem to think that everyone does it.

Yes, everyone lies. Look it up, it's a basic truth of the human condition. Again, it doesn't mean I'm saying all lies are no big deal. Not at all. I have no implied that at all. It's that *some* are.

Some of that can be a judgment call, there is no real line dividing average from few extra pounds though there is the BMI cutoff for obese.

Yeah, we do agree that sometimes it's a gray area. I was using the Average vs A Few Extra Pounds in the last part where the person filling it out Knows that it's not so gray and that A Few Extra was The accurate selection -- BUT since "everyone's doing it" to select Average instead, it's OK. Mainly, "I'm not duping anyone, as someone of my body selects normally this. The reader can see my (accurate) pics which should be the greatest measure anyway."

Like your comment of "That is not in your best interest", it assumes that you know me and how I feel and react

I wasn't trying to be rude, but let me say it better: It's not in Anyone's best interest to believe all lies are equally bad, there's no variance, and they're all horrid. Not only is that inaccurate, but it's going to also bring more angst and frustration IF they actually literally believe that.

it assumes that you know me and how I feel and react when neither you nor he know anything about me that's not written on my profile.

I know what you're expressing about your feelings here -- and that hasn't been expressed in your profile. I'm going by that, and many replies are to clarify/tweak things to get one's POV or feelings across more accurately to folks, etc.

*sigh* Long post - see, I told you I come from a long line of blabbermouths.

No worries at all. I'd be lying if I were to tell you that I wasn't a bigger blabbermouth. :)
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 479
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:03:18 PM
21 pages and going strong! Guess it's not over until the fat lady sings...
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 480
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:28:51 PM
La la la la!

fin.
The curtain drops and we take our bows.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 481
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/9/2016 5:51:19 PM
You guys made me have a little chuckle :)
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 482
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/10/2016 12:58:12 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIVfbylUU-M
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 483
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/22/2016 9:56:42 PM
Good people who know their value don't lash out at others for not being attracted to them. I'm a chubby chick, and there isn't a thing anyone could ever say to me to make me feel bad about myself because I know I'm a genuinely good person whose existence has made many positive changes in the lives of others.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 484
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 485
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/23/2016 3:28:08 AM
For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't consider BB to be "chubby", more like voluptuous in her photos. I won't be the only fellow. I wouldn't be shocked, however, if there's a numbnuts out there who doesn't know a curvy woman when he's graced by their presence. Also for what its worth, force me to define an unsexy "Fluffy" figure, and I might say its a bit like a football standing on end--a wide middle that tapers to the ankles and the head.

but then someone would say they have a partner like that, and are quite satisfied.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 486
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/23/2016 9:02:45 PM
Being a Russ Meyer fan I find BB very, very attractive.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 487
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/24/2016 6:40:50 AM

For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't consider BB to be "chubby", more like voluptuous in her photos. I won't be the only fellow. I wouldn't be shocked, however, if there's a numbnuts out there who doesn't know a curvy woman when he's graced by their presence.


I am attracted to curvy women that have the traditional hour glass figure. Nice breasts, relatively slim waist, round butt. Not women that claim to be curvy when they are actually obese. FYI I don't consider BB to be obese.
 eg0724
Joined: 4/19/2016
Msg: 488
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/26/2016 11:09:38 AM
There's subtle ways of rejecting someone & then there are mean ways.
I am in shape now- 112lbs. But 5 years back, I was overweight at 135. Might not seem like much, but at my height it is lol & def showed.
I used POF back then....and I was mainly rejected in subtle ways. A guy would look at my profile & not write back or not send me a message. That wasn't a big deal to me. But there were some guys that were downright rude. And those hurt my feelings, but it is what it is bc not everyone is going to like you. The interesting part is that once I lost weight & created a new profile...those same guys that were super rude would message me in the nicest ways.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 489
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/26/2016 11:54:56 AM

The interesting part is that once I lost weight & created a new profile...those same guys that were super rude would message me in the nicest ways.

Although I cannot stand rudeness of any sort, I will say this about women who create new profiles --- you sometimes DO look like a totally different person.

Women change up their 'look' almost daily, with clothing and makeup - and change up their hair style, color and body shape probably five times more than any man ever would. To you and your friends, it's a gradual thing - little modifications here and there - sometimes too subtle to even notice - but after a few years, and a few thousand of these little changes - you can't even pass as your own sister when comparing this new look to older photos.

I insist on sending - and receiving - a selfie picture just before the first date. It's just good practice to know who to look for when you meet. People who don't - and insist they look like their profile - are often disappointed when not immediately recognized. I think it's rude and arrogant to believe people will instantly know who you are from a few outdated photos, and even worse to get upset and blame THEM for not being 'observant' when they don't. Guess what? You HAVE changed! And so have I, to some extent.

In a way, that 'rudeness' gets exposed because of our own ignorance and bad planning - not because the other person has a 'flaw' of some sort.

There are plenty of genuine jerks who offend for countless reasons, but even with the best well-mannered people, there will always be a few confusing miscommunications up front. We need to be accepting of each others' mistakes if progress is ever going to be made.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 490
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/26/2016 11:58:13 AM
I take horrible selfies. No one has ever said I don't look like my photos. I don't lie about my age, height and even my shoe size.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 491
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/26/2016 12:21:32 PM

The interesting part is that once I lost weight & created a new profile...those same guys that were super rude would message me in the nicest ways.

Looks do matter. Can turn an a-hole into a kiss-a$$. :)
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 492
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/27/2016 1:58:54 AM

For whatever it's worth, I wouldn't consider BB to be "chubby", more like voluptuous in her photos. I won't be the only fellow.


I agree. She's an average size. For North American standards, she's extremely thin.
 Blonde_Fishie
Joined: 5/13/2016
Msg: 493
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/27/2016 4:07:06 PM

The interesting part is that once I lost weight & created a new profile...those same guys that were super rude would message me in the nicest ways

Sadly this is common. It's just the nature of man. The rudeness is inexcusable IMO.
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 494
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 8:10:06 AM
Perhaps some "fat" women get offended when they receive back a response from someone they initially contacted that person isn't interested.

Given how "fat phobic" our society is with rampant ignorance about a variety of issues that can cause a person to become a larger size, I tend to be of the thinking 99.9% of the users on this site are not interested in anyone who isn't a specific size, shape, weight, height or age.

I used to see my personal issue of being a larger size as a negative, now I see it as a positive "filter". If someone wants to assume whatever about me because I don't meet their criteria for who they deem to be date worthy based simply on physical, exterior characteristics-then that is Their problem and their loss.

As far as the nature of man goes, if you look back in history women who were "fat" and fleshy with a certain waist to hip ratio were always considered to be more attractive and healthy....it wasn't skinny women with their bones sticking out Ruebens or many others painted or used as "models".

I don't get offended that people have preferences since I have mine too; but I do find the ignorance offensive as well as someone feeling that just because someone isn't a certain weight or size some how they have less value as a human and so it gives you a pass to be rude to them.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 495
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 11:54:20 AM

If someone wants to assume whatever about me because I don't meet their criteria for who they deem to be date worthy based simply on physical, exterior characteristics-then that is Their problem and their loss.


"Their problem" and "their loss" are just meaningless platitudes to make yourself feel better after being rejected. The truth is that if someone rejects you based on your external characteristics, it means that they didn't think you were a good match for them. In turn, they wouldn't have been a good match for you---therefore, it isn't a "problem", or a "loss" for either of you. They actually did you a favor. Why would you even want to be with a person who didn't find you attractive?
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 496
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 12:22:38 PM
I don't need to feel better about myself...being a larger woman majority of my life, I long ago became an expert at being rejected lol It is their problem if they are superficial.

As I said, I believe my larger size is a "filter" and I agree with you they have done me a favor by not wasting time by "rejecting" me; just like those who stand you up, they have already shown you who they are.

If you notice, my first photo is a full body shot, so I'm not hiding or apologizing for who I am. I don't leave them guessing with only a few head shots as I PREFER to only meet people who are superficial and/or "narrow-minded".
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 497
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 12:36:30 PM

It is their problem if they are superficial.

It's not a problem though. The problem would be one thinking there's a problem on another person's part if they aren't attracted to them. There's no loss on their part if they're not attracted to you because you're a BBW. IMO, it's not that superficial. In fact, dare I say, it Would be superficial for an average-shape/average-looking Joe Specifically Only Wanting a BBW, just as if he Only Wanted a super-twig.

I would put superficial outside the bounds of natural/normal/expected range when it comes to looks. Like, a gal wanting a guy a few inches taller than she since she wears heels all the time (with leeway on his shoulder/wide build if coming up a bit short on that) -- I don't see as 'superficial'. But you take a gal who's 5'1" wanting a guy who's At Least 5'11"? Yeah, superficial. Outside the expected natural male-female desire range.

A guy only wanting a woman who's of healthy weight? Not superficial. A guy only wanting a super twig or only wanting a BBW when he's far from either weight class, and again only wanting one of those and denying the rest? Superficial. A guy who wants blondes only? Superficial. A very overweight guy refusing to date gals who are overweight? Superficial. A guy wanting a gal at least a little shorter than he, with narrower shoulders/build? Not superficial.
 SrqDJ
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 498
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 12:58:32 PM
IF you read my original post I clearly stated I have no problem with someone having preferences....because we all have them . I also don't get offended if I don't meet someone's preferences which is why I have a current full-length photo and I clearly state in the context of my profile I'm an "old fat lady" lol but I'm so much more than that if someone who is not superficial takes the time to find out....just like I'm sure your sum total as a person is more than whatever your physical characteristics are.

Last time I checked we had a right to our opinions...IMO if someone only is searching to meet a person based solely on physical characteristics, then I think they are superficial...even if they are only searching for BBWs which is specifically why I refuse to use a category for body type.

You may not see them as superficial and you have a right to your opinion as you expressed in your response to my post.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 499
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 1:48:33 PM

I would put superficial outside the bounds of natural/normal/expected range when it comes to looks. Like, a gal wanting a guy a few inches taller than she since she wears heels all the time (with leeway on his shoulder/wide build if coming up a bit short on that) -- I don't see as 'superficial'. But you take a gal who's 5'1" wanting a guy who's At Least 5'11"? Yeah, superficial. Outside the expected natural male-female desire range.


Funny; I would put being 'superficial' as INSIDE the bounds of natural/normal/expected because those are 'personal judgement calls'.
People who are NOT superficial, don't use the physical 'natural/normal/expected' as the criteria for dating - whether someone is inside or outside of the bounds.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 500
Do fat women REALLY get offended when men respond back telling them they aren't interested?
Posted: 5/30/2016 3:41:13 PM

 It is their problem if they are superficial.


No, it's not "their problem". It's only a problem for the person who thinks they're superficial. While you might feel the person who took a pass on you because of your weight is superficial, the woman who ends up dating him might not agree with you. "Superficial" in this case, is purely subjective.
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