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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Do "fat" women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not      Home login  
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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Just delete and block the way women have to do with unwanted contacts. dont enter into any dialogue at all.
 kate08690
Joined: 8/11/2016
Msg: 27
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/15/2016 4:23:07 AM
I am fat and I do not get offended, I have only written to about 10 guys first, 7 never replied, not even with a sorry not my type etc. But of course in my head I think they didn't reply because of my weight, why else....I'm perfect in every other way hahaha

I have read some profiles where the guy says he keeps fit and wants a fit woman, am I offended, no. I've read I like a girl in shape, round is not a shape, offended heck no, I've also seen NO FAT CHICKS, am I offended, f*** no.

What does offend me, but I still belly laugh is when I reject a guy either by not responding or after a few days of talking I'll say I'm no longer interested, then comes the fat insults. This one guy went on and on how he loved my figure, how sexy I was etc, when I told him I didn't wanna date, I was a fat disgusting pig!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 28
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/15/2016 5:59:05 AM
Stop sleeping with Fat chicks on the first date! Problem solved.
 somewhatJaded14U
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 29
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/15/2016 6:32:18 AM

Just delete and block the way women have to do with unwanted contacts. dont enter into any dialogue at all.


Dont do this ^. If you treat the women ,who dont fit your preferences, the same way women treat the men here, your chances diminish quickly with others. I know this because women talk to each other. You can always tell them in your responce they dont fit your preferences. Its how I do it. Sometimes these gals will press to meet,so I meet them! What can it hurt right?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 7/1/2016
Msg: 30
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/15/2016 7:14:33 AM
^^^^Why would you meet someone you already know you're not interested in?
After you've told them they don't fit your preferences and you meet them anyway,
how do you turn them down in person or are you leaving things open for a pleasant
surprise?

If you're going to be honest with people...at least tell the truth.
 somewhatJaded14U
Joined: 2/19/2015
Msg: 31
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/15/2016 8:04:51 AM

^^^^Why would you meet someone you already know you're not interested in?
After you've told them they don't fit your preferences and you meet them anyway,
how do you turn them down in person or are you leaving things open for a pleasant
surprise?

If you're going to be honest with people...at least tell the truth


Because women talk to each other. I usually come away from meeting them as friends and friends talk to friends. It is indeed as simple as that. Back in late 2010 i agreed to meet a gal,from pof,who did not meet my preferences AT ALL!! But I met her anyhow because I had time to. (women dont beat the doors down for me!) What came from it was that about 2 months later that gal set me up with a friend of hers who did met my preferences and what do ya know? we got along great. And to think it was becuase I wasnt a****ead or a flake to that one gal who messaged me.
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 32
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/16/2016 6:27:51 AM
I remember in the early days of AOL, I would say I'm not interested to some women who were older and a lot heavier than me and that would just turn them on even more. One was married and kept sending my pics of herself. Saying the infamous "not interested" is a turn on for some people because they see it as a challenge for them to get your interest. Yours truly, likes women who are slender to thick, but some women online get the term thick misconstrued. Morbidly obese isn't thick. Thick is having the curves in the right places. These days I don't bother answering emails from women who aren't in my preference range. For the helluva of it, I just Googled THICK WOMEN and my preferences came up along with women who are morbidly obese. Crazy.
 GhettoFoot
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 33
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/16/2016 10:09:49 AM

Yours truly, likes women who are slender to thick, but some women online get the term thick misconstrued. Morbidly obese isn't thick. Thick is having the curves in the right places. These days I don't bother answering emails from women who aren't in my preference range. For the helluva of it, I just Googled THICK WOMEN and my preferences came up along with women who are morbidly obese. Crazy.


This reminds me of a girlfriend I had who was built like the quintessential hourglass shape, natural 32DDs, tiny waist, wide hips and a shapely plump ass but she would classify her body as "average" on dating sites. When I asked her why she chose that instead of "curvy" (which she WAS, not the deluded version that some obese women think they are), she replied that it's become a term synonymous with fat and that most men wouldn't contact her. It was baffling because she WAS the definition of curvy, built a lot like THIS woman, just not as exaggerated:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-is-teacherbae-being-shamed-for-her-curvy-body_us_57d95cafe4b0fbd4b7bc8be6
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 34
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/16/2016 4:24:27 PM
I looked at that woman, yes, she is curvy.

It is one of the most mis-used terms on OLD. I'd say, that if you mslabel yourself, then you'll have to live with the consequences. About the only way I could be considered ripped, is when I've ripped the seat out of my pants. My build and body makeup makes it impossible for me to be anything but what I am-tall and slim. Then, too, I like my knee joints. They like to tell me when I'm up ten pounds, by sending me nasty notes about how much I'm carrying. Guess I know too many ex-athletes and body builders, that have torn up joints because they insisted on proving themselves.

I'd say that it's best to include a full body photo. That way, there is no question about what you may be getting yourself into.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 35
good golly, the noive of dem.
Posted: 9/16/2016 4:25:28 PM
In my mind, someone looking like, say, Nikki Minaj or the teacher in that article is "curvy" or "voluptuous" or "hourglass". Oh, and sexy AF, as someone in that article put it. Probably mesmerizing on a dance floor. But, alas, everyone's got an idea of what a woman's body should be shaped like--it should be shaped like what they particularly want in their bed naked. Should some dork go thru a singles' website looking for women by category (slender, etc) rather than take his precious time to actually, you know, look at a photo like they are human beings worthy of a little investment of his time....then he's likely doing some of the women he ignores, a favor by not taking them out to enjoy his attitude about things.

If a lady misconstrues her appearance, or misrepresents it outright....i'm just going to sigh and move on.
 Shewymacfee
Joined: 4/2/2016
Msg: 36
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/18/2016 7:26:17 AM
Most members are on here to find someone that suits their own preferences, age, photo, has kids, heavy bodied or slim Etc.

If you do not like any member, or think that they do not suit your preferences, don't respond to them.

If they write to you and. and again they do not suit (for whatever reasons) sending them a message saying "not interested sorry" isn't really helping things much for the girls ego.

Write something like, I have viewed your profile and I am sure that you are indeed a lovely girl, I'm afraid that I do not think I am the right man for you, I do hope that your ideal partner comes along shortly.
I wish you all the best in your search.
Or if you have actually met and don't think you are a match, send,
I'm afraid that I do not think I am the right man for you, I do hope that your ideal partner comes along shortly.

Keeping it nice rather than a "not interested sorry" won't offend the member involved, hence no nasty " Your a monster I've been offended messages "
 peakyblinders123
Joined: 8/6/2016
Msg: 37
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/18/2016 8:20:06 AM
if you dont find them attractive, dont meet them ffs

easy
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 38
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Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/18/2016 10:52:23 PM
Why would anyone take offense at not being what someone else wants and being told about it?
 prime ribb
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 39
Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/19/2016 10:33:31 PM

Why would anyone take offense at not being what someone else wants and being told about it?


Because they take online dating way too seriously and not just enjoying it for what it is. It's just an alternative to meeting someone new. If you can't take several nos how are you going to react to one yes? How are you going to appreciate that special person who gives you the greenlight? You have to go through those rough waters in order to get to smooth sailing, but no one wants to develop thick skin. It's like people online are afraid to gain the wisdom to recognize a person who's a waste of time from a person who values your time.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 40
Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/24/2016 8:29:45 AM
It's better to move on rather than reject someone openly..... you don't know them or how they will respond. As OP found out, some will try to reject you back.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 41
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/25/2016 7:42:08 AM
Some of these women would accuse a man of being a homo if he wasn't interested.
 Kodanshi
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 42
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/25/2016 8:20:49 AM
And yet these women are amongst those who insist a man be a certain height before they'll even look at him. Sheer hypocrisy.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 43
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/25/2016 9:24:22 AM
Obese women just do not show up on my radar as potential dating partners. I avoid eye contact with them if I notice they are looking at me with interest.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 44
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/27/2016 12:48:19 PM

And yet these women are amongst those who insist a man be a certain height before they'll even look at him. Sheer hypocrisy.

True. However, I think on the topic -- it's not about overweight women... the OP had a bad assessment/guess on what drove it. I think women (and men) who are rejected more often are going to give the "why nots" back -- when writing to those they find really attractive, out of frustration.

Back to your point though -- there is a hypocracy on that... One typical response I once heard IRL, which I think is pretty common was "Well, he's less of a guy [too skinny and not tall, or just short]... I want a Man. Guys not wanting girls who need to lose weight don't want a woman, they want a model, and are superficial." Both are obviously equally superficial, of course. The only argument worth considering would be "I'm within reason, they are not," -- as in she is 100% fine with a guy not much taller than she + of average build, while the same type of guys seem to only want a gal who's out of their league, with a slender toned body + pretty face.

But at the same time, even in that scenario, one can't call out "guys" as a whole against one's personal not-that-picky physical preference... one would need to compare it to "girls" as a whole, when criticizing. In general, girls go for looks of people they don't know -- just as much as guys. I think the difference is that when a gal does at least kinda know a guy, the comfort level he seems to bring + likable persona bring in more points than it does for the guy. That said, it's always downplayed on how many points that Does score with a guy. Of a gal he knows, if she likes to kick back, can be 'one of the guys', Likes him, and seems to resonate with him without any Mars/Venus riff-raff -- the trend is that he'd Happily take said 'cute' gal over a 'great looking' gal who does not fit her mold, where he'd have to (sigh) yet-again chase and work at to get some dates out of.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 45
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/27/2016 1:41:27 PM
As a fat woman, no I do not get offended if someone is not interested, as long as they are polite about it. Thankfully I have not encountered some of the ugly behavior others have mentioned when there is rejection either way.

As for fat women and fit men, in my experience its not an across the board issue. I've had intimate relations with a some very fit, 6 pack ab, athletic men. They are typically men that are interested in women with large breasts. What ever floats their boat! We all have things we enjoy in other people. One of them is a man that I think of as way out of my league. He's smokin' hot and has a life way above by economic level. But, we enjoy each others company and bodies.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 46
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/27/2016 5:20:51 PM

They are typically men that are interested in women with large breasts. What ever floats their boat!


Actually, I think you're giving your breasts too much credit. Nothing against large breasts...and don't take it personally.. lol...after all, if that's part of the package, that's a bonus for sure, but OK, from a guy's point of view... from your profile....we're looking at a Seahawks jersey (football)...a picture at a concert (live music)....a good cook (don't need to 'splain)........you mention beer (again...don't need to 'splain)...LOL

Football, live music, good homecooked food, beer. And dogs...for the dog lovers...C'mon.....Anything past that is gravy... ;)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 47
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/28/2016 12:04:49 AM

Actually, I think you're giving your breasts too much credit. Nothing against large breasts...and don't take it personally.. lol...after all, if that's part of the package, that's a bonus for sure

I agree it isn't Purely that -- but an in-great-shape guy who's out of a gal's league despite him not having a magazine cover face and all... I've seen a few friends in my years double-down on a notably overweight gal who's not "ugly" but not in his league. So what gives?

There's gals who are notably overweight and aren't in any way unpleasing to the eye to those who are themselves in good or great shape (even though they almost always won't want to become an item with them). Combine that with the guy being more frisky/in-the-mood (alcohol helps of course), and on-the-rebound and/or recent-times bad luck picking up gals... all while only having experienced small breasts even from great looking gals... and you have a willing guy.

When it comes to 'action', guys are less concerned with their culturally man-made 'image' in terms of hooking up, which includes caring less about hooking up or keeping in touch with a gal after 10PM where others could say "he could do better".

Years ago I remember a bar-friend of mine's GF sighed at me and thought I was a pig, because I would get #s, have dating stories, and even go home with some gals who, well, weren't that great looking. I said she was the chauvinist -- why is it that I occasionally flirt with or occasionally invite over a gal who "I could do better than" in looks, make me a pig... where if she were pretty cute, I wouldn't be?
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 48
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/28/2016 8:38:23 AM
SS45, thanks. :) Trust me I know that I have a lot to offer the right man. I was strictly offering rebuttal about why fit men would be interested in an overweight woman.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 49
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/28/2016 8:54:21 AM
"why is it that I occasionally flirt with or occasionally invite over a gal who "I could do better than" in looks, make me a pig... where if she were pretty cute, I wouldn't be?"




There are guys who pursue "pretty cute " girls for a LTR but in the meantime , they will lower the bar strictly to get their rocks off.

Perhaps, this is how you're being perceived ?
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 50
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Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/28/2016 3:53:04 PM
norwegianguy456 said
"why is it that I occasionally flirt with or occasionally invite over a gal who "I could do better than" in looks, make me a pig... where if she were pretty cute, I wouldn't be?"


Butterchickenchuck said
There are guys who pursue "pretty cute " girls for a LTR but in the meantime , they will lower the bar strictly to get their rocks off.

Perhaps, this is how you're being perceived ?


Bcc brilliant observation, good job! :)
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