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 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 50
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Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
norwegianguy456 said
"why is it that I occasionally flirt with or occasionally invite over a gal who "I could do better than" in looks, make me a pig... where if she were pretty cute, I wouldn't be?"


Butterchickenchuck said
There are guys who pursue "pretty cute " girls for a LTR but in the meantime , they will lower the bar strictly to get their rocks off.

Perhaps, this is how you're being perceived ?


Bcc brilliant observation, good job! :)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 51
Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/29/2016 7:03:31 AM

As for fat women and fit men, in my experience its not an across the board issue. I've had intimate relations with a some very fit, 6 pack ab, athletic men. They are typically men that are interested in women with large breasts.


It probably depends on how much overweight a woman is. There is a big difference between being somewhat overweight and obese. I think there are many men that would date an somewhat overweight woman. Either they are attracted to that body type. Or they liked other things about her even though she might be a little bit bigger than what they usually prefer. But I think most people aren't attracted to obesity.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 52
Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 9/29/2016 10:29:40 AM
Very good point South city. This actually came up in another conversation recently.

How does one define their weight given the choices on most dating sites? I never know if I'm a few extra pounds, curvy or a BBW. Everyone has their own idea of what they are and what those terms mean and how they view others. I mean I'm not huge and extremely overweight, but I'm not HWP.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 53
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 9/29/2016 10:58:56 AM

There are guys who pursue "pretty cute " girls for a LTR but in the meantime , they will lower the bar strictly to get their rocks off.

Perhaps, this is how you're being perceived ?

Or getting their "rocks off" with cute-gals (aka casual), too. So wouldn't the chauvanist be the one saying it's "lowering their bar" due to strictly looks, whether that person's a girl or guy?

I understand the incredibly-flawed assumption: That if you go out on a date or fool around with a gal you-could-do-better-than, you're just trying to get quick action and nothing else. There's no complaints about you being rude or fooling the gal about Anything... but it's just a flawed assumption. By your rationale, if a guy is getting a # or inviting a gal over who's at least "pretty cute" -- he must be pursuing an LTR, which is flawed as well.

To clarify, said gal was going on about how guys are too much into looks, looks shouldn't mean so much... so when I was open to gals who weren't the prettiest, she was "OMG, really? You pig!" *solely* based on that. Total contradiction. Again, stereotyping and basing it off my looks vs hers. Doesn't get any crazier than that.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 54
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Do men with REALLY small penises get offended when women laugh and are not interested in them?
Posted: 10/4/2016 7:05:34 AM
South city wrote:


It probably depends on how much overweight a woman is. There is a big difference between being somewhat overweight and obese. I think there are many men that would date an somewhat overweight woman. Either they are attracted to that body type. Or they liked other things about her even though she might be a little bit bigger than what they usually prefer.


Funny story......I had a GF back in the early '90s.....about 2 yrs...she struggled with her weight while with me...she hated having to eat like a mouse while I ate like a horse lol,...but she was only "somewhat overweight," and she wore it well, and yes Pluto, she was...um..ya know...well endowed and I surely enjoyed that. Well, she finally broke up with me 'cause I wouldn't take the next step, and one of the reasons I wouldn't was I knew she would gain weight long term...after all, if someone struggles with weight in their youthful 20's, M or F, they're probably gonna struggle forever and it usually gets worse and most give up.

Looked her up on FB this weekend for the first time ever....and the cruel reality is....she's happily married, running triathlons, and as far as her figure....better than when she was with me!! 25+ years, and 2 kids ago! She's obviously proud as there were multiple pictures of her posing in fashionable, tight fitting dresses. Dayuuum!! *shrug* Gotta admit, I had a fleeting pang of regret! Other than the weight problem I hung on her, she was funny, smart and had a good career....I may have blown that one. :-{
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
Msg: 55
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 1:57:44 PM
I think most people don't like rejection in general. I'm a plus sized woman and I'm working on losing weight. If I'm not happy with myself. I can't expect to make anyone else happy as well. If a guy isnt attracted to my size then I'm fine with that. I think the issue with what I have with some men on this site is that their allowed to have preferences on weight but I'm shallow for liking tall men. Many men say I'm being unfair because my weight was my choice. Well, let me tell you this. Would that same man date a woman who is under 4 ft? I think most would not. Everyone is allowed to have a preference on what they find to be physically attractive..
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 56
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 2:16:44 PM

I think the issue with what I have with some men on this site is that their allowed to have preferences on weight but I'm shallow for liking tall men. Many men say I'm being unfair because my weight was my choice. Well, let me tell you this. Would that same man date a woman who is under 4 ft? I think most would not. Everyone is allowed to have a preference on what they find to be physically attractive.


The reverse is also true. Some large women will call men "shallow" because these men aren't attracted to their body type. But the same women will have a laundry list of requirements that includes height, race, hairstyle, and sometimes even body type. As for a woman being under 4 ft tall, that is an extreme example. A better and more realistic comparison would be whether a man dates a woman when she is slightly taller than him. I think most men would at least consider it ( depending on personality and other factors ) if she was fairly attractive.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
Msg: 57
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 2:36:34 PM
Extreme or not. Its still wrong. I'm just giving out an example to point out the hypocrisy. If an overweight woman has a laundry list of requirements but gets angry when rejected because of her weight then she is clearly in the wrong. I on the other hand, would understand that I'm not what this person is looking for. And I'd expect the same courteous response when I tell a man I'm not interested in him. Whether its for physical or emotional reasons.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 58
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 4:44:44 PM

I think the issue with what I have with some men on this site is that their allowed to have preferences on weight but I'm shallow for liking tall men.

Those two things aren't the same, though. One being notably overweight is a reflection of them taking care of themselves, too. Height is not, and *mere* height is not a reflection of protection (other factors involved).

Many men say I'm being unfair because my weight was my choice. Well, let me tell you this. Would that same man date a woman who is under 4 ft?

An actual Midget? No. Different concept. It'd be easier to find a guy who'd sleep with a midget for a night of unique fun than the other way around, gender-wise. But either way -- you're changing the subject with this specifically, because you're talking about disabled and not mere height-difference. That's not an applicable analogy.

And even most over-sensitive guys aren't complaining about girls not going out with guys shorter than them. It's when gals Won't date a guy unless he's very noticeably taller. Like if you would hardly ever date a guy who wasn't "tall" -- meaning close to 6 foot or taller (above average height='tall') -- when you're 5-foot, yeah, you're going to get labeled as shallow, where a gal who's 5'8" who's tall herself isn't going to get much flack, because it's a comparison issue.

Everyone is allowed to have a preference on what they find to be physically attractive..

Everyone's entitled to be shallow and non-shallow. It's just pointing out what's shallow and non-shallow.

Here's an analogy: Say I'll usually only date women who has (naturally) large breasts (ie not from any level of obesity). About the same as a short gal saying she'll only date Tall men.

Yes, we'd both be entitled to it. But yes, we'd both get people calling us shallow, and it'd be fitting. But again, it's our right. We'd just be short changing our options if said tastes were too strong.

I on the other hand, would understand that I'm not what this person is looking for. And I'd expect the same courteous response when I tell a man I'm not interested in him.

Yeah, but you know you can change your body shape. It's not easy though (for most). But guys who are 5'5" -- 5 inches taller than you, but not liked by you -- he'd be more comfortable knowing that "Hey, sigh, that's OK. I can change it. It's a by-product of me not eating well the past few years. I got this, or can when I really want it." But that's not at all the reality.

I think the criticism of the height thing comes into play when a gal wants a guy Way taller than she... not as a change of pace for something different on her next guy-hunt as a phase of sorts, but how she rolls. Denying guys 3 who are 4 inches taller, but not 5 or 6+ inches taller, because of height? There's no reflection on "letting himself go" like obesity has, which we all can have our phases in -- and as you say, we accept and have control -- but wow, he needs to be Way taller. If that's not dipping into the Shallow realm, I honestly ask... Is there such thing as shallow?

I think one litmus test for "shallow" would be the ability of the average person with said taste to have it change over time, which is how stringent and extreme it is. It's not in one's own best interests to have it that way either... although a very short but very cute gal like yourself Isn't limiting herself due to greater options, by wanting a guy who's 6" taller than her or more (but it'd still accept guys who were 'short').
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 5:10:48 PM
Please make your responses shorter. Height and weight are still preferences no matter how you view it. If a woman suddenly decided taking better care of herself but was still obese. You still wouldn't change your mind about her because appearance wise she's still a big woman until that changes. At the end of the day, it's still about physical attractiveness. Dwarfism isn't a disability. Hell, in England I'm practically considered a midget. That really shouldn't matter anyways. There are people out there who are born different. Nobody gets to pick what hurts and doesn't hurt someone else. Rejection hurts, but I'm allowed to date whoever I want. Sorry .not sorry.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 5:32:53 PM
For some reason I'm not allowed to edit my response. I could be considered a midget in the UK. At least that's what my Brit friends have told me Dwarfism is a disability as in they have a medical condition in which their arms and legs are not proportionate to their body. In that case, that's what makes their dwarfism a disability. Not their short stature, so yes if you are rejecting them because of their height. Then you are no different than I am. And like I said earlier, nobody is allowed to puck and choose what could be hurtful to another person.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 61
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 6:13:46 PM

Height and weight are still preferences no matter how you view it.

Nobody's arguing that. It's trying to make them all on the same scale, all equal in analogies. A guy saying "I like any woman, except one who looks like HER [pointing to a decent friend of yorus]," is a still a preference no matter how you view it, too. That's not the point.

If a woman suddenly decided taking better care of herself but was still obese. You still wouldn't change your mind about her because appearance wise she's still a big woman until that changes.

But there'd still be a non-shallow backing as to why I wouldn't because of her obesity. That's the point. Different preferences have different backings that are more reasonable or understandable than others. For instance, it wouldn't have non-shallow backing if I was 300lbs and a gal was 30lbs overweight and I wasn't into her because she was 30lbs overweight. But being how I am, it wouldn't be shallow of me to not be attracted to a gal due to too much obesity (whether she took better case of herself to be less obese but still too obese is irrelevant).

Dwarfism isn't a disability.

It's a genetic disability. It's where they're 4'9" or shorter and their body didn't grow proportionally. A midget though did grow proportionally but is as short, and that can be considered a genetic and/or nutritional disability from what literature says (although in certain genetic circles I'm sure there's leeway on that at old age where it's not by much; or at least not truly/fully considered one). But ANYWAY, being under 4ft as you said -- yeah, to that extent, it Is a genetic disability.

Hell, in England I'm practically considered a midget.

The average height in England is pretty much the same as the US. So no, you're not any more considered a midget here VS there, although in Texas I'm sure you're less considered really short than in other states up north. Unlike guys, being 4-5 inches under average height as a gal isn't really much a dating disadvantage (advantages & disadvantages I suppose).

Rejection hurts, but I'm allowed to date whoever I want.

Nobody said you weren't. You know that. It's about what's Shallow. Only wanting to date a guy 5'11"+ when being 5'0"? Shallow. Only wanting to date a gal with natural large breasts? Shallow. That's all. You're allowed to be shallow and so am I and everyone else. Yay. :)

Not their short stature, so yes if you are rejecting them because of their height. Then you are no different than I am.

The difference is monumental upon rejection. A guy at 5'10" rejecting someone UNDER 4'10" is understandable, and doesn't eliminate every day people passing by. A gal at 5'0" rejecting someone OVER 6'0" is still understandable. But pretty much Only Wanting someone on such an extreme end -- that's what makes one shallow -- that's the point. But again, this isn't about legal rights. It's just pointing out how shallow/non-shallow one can be.
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
Msg: 62
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 6:53:04 PM
So a woman for a preference for taller men is shallow. But a man not wanting to date a shorter than average woman can be excused because of the monumental height difference . I find that silly since the point most men try to make is that height is something that should not matter and something you cannot control. I guess it only matters if its inconvenient for them. BTW, I date men of all sizes. I prefer taller men but that doesn't mean I exclude shorter guys too. I've dated a man who was 5'1" and a man who was 6'6".
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 63
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/16/2017 7:16:56 PM

So a woman for a preference for taller men is shallow.

No. Not merely that.

But a man not wanting to date a shorter than average woman can be excused because of the monumental height difference

If he only wanted a gal with a monumental height difference -- Way shorter or Way taller than he -- He Would be shallow.

I prefer taller men but that doesn't mean I exclude shorter guys too.

Then that diminishes shallowness to some extent. Depends on how feasible that exception is. As I said above: Pretty much only wanting someone on an extreme end -- that's what makes one shallow (when it has no understandable backing for normal compatibility).

IMO, the level of "shallow" in the physical realm is dependent on two things:
- How far off you are from the expected/norm when it comes to tastes, in relation to your construct.
- How strong/stringent said taste is

EX: A guy who's 5'10" will Only date gals over 6-foot. That's Far outside the expected/norm for a male in relation to female attraction, and it's quite Stringent. He's VERY shallow.

EX: A guy who's 5'10" really likes short girls (aka "spinners"), at 5'3" and below. He'll date gals taller, but about 5'5" max due to heels; he likes to be taller (could make exceptions being as tall in her big heels). He's considered shallow. His stronger preference-than-average on a key demographic (5'3" and below), and pretty much ruling out most gals below his height in heels (although he could say 'I have dated one before; so I've tried').
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 7/12/2015
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Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/17/2017 5:54:03 AM
No offense but I don't think you have the right to dictate what is shallow/unshallow by your own personal beliefs. ESPECIALLY if it only favors a man's point of view. We can just agree to disagree. Have a good day.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 65
Do fat women REALLY get offended when they are told the man is not interested in them?
Posted: 1/17/2017 7:17:18 AM
Off topic K but don't think it is the best idea to let internet strangers know where you work on your profile. Too many creepers.
You look so much like my young friend I thought you were her for a sec!
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