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 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 270
Why is it so hard to meet someone?Page 11 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
GTO, I've known a lot of handsome dudes and gorgeous women over a long lifetime. I can't think of one that was unfriendly or arrogant. To my knowledge in no way did any ever act superior to those less fortunate (in the looks department) or were condescending: they were human beings at the highest level - not just in appearance.

I've noticed many ugly females are hostile to most people - not just unfriendly - since HS and even today. Most do seem ultra friendly to handsome dudes. Come on, GTO, ya had to notice one or two unattractive babes in HS chasing after those handsome dudes.

Even in a supermarket, aren't a few of the unattractive cashiers unfriendly and all the pretty ones very friendly?

Be honest, GTO, how many gorgeous girls or women were unfriendly or hostile to you for no apparent reason over your lifetime? (Refusing to go out with you doesn't count.) And how many unattractive girls and unappealing women were unfriendly?

Don't you agree a very attractive female on this forum is one of the friendliest and brightest participants? You know who I mean - so don't mention her name. That might be embarrassing and has nothing to do with my point - attractive women are usually friendly and smart.

I'm extremely grateful to all the attractive gals that dated me over my lifetime. I recommend dating attractive women. They're extraordinary! They have a lot to offer besides their beauty and they're all fun to be with. It's a pleasure just looking at them while listening to what they have to say - on any topic.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 271
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Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 12:13:11 PM

you findout they dont love you and feel the sameway about you .I have experieced that and i fell in love with a girl and told her i loved her , and she told me she didn't love me and broke my heart ,it took me 6 years to get over my brokenheart.

6 years -- over a gal you were ga-ga about but she didn't feel the same way? Sounds like she was one of those "just friends", but were friends because you were into her -- or a gal you knew and had a crush on, went on some dates and it fizzled. At least from the way you described it, anyway. In such situations, I can understand having thoughts of said gal in the back of one's mind that will crop up for many years -- but to have a broken heart for more than a several months from said type of situation? That, I scratch my head over and can't resonate with. To me, 6 years heartbroken -- that's more for someone who's been in what was a Great LTR, but out of nowhere the SO drops the bombshell.

of course the older you get the harder it gets. And even if its easy to "meet" people and date, it is hard to meet people whom you might actually fall in love with or who will fall in love with you. As they say, love is for the young.

Which is why when one's single well after college, should want to be living in a medium-sized or bigger city. Increases the options when the options in general decreased when in the later 20s and more. I think when one hits their mid-30s it becomes more difficult for a serious relationship because people are more set in their ways, and dating gals in their younger 20s & good catches isn't so feasible. When people are set in their ways and how they roll, more compatibility conflicts obviously can occur. In college-aged years, how one rolls in life is much more elastic, hence less hardened compatibility issues.

As far as "hot" guys go. There are women who "detest" hot guys simply because they are hot without knowing anything else about them, just as I'm sure there are guys who detest hot women for no good reason.

I think that's only easy to find among women who could only hang with a hot guy once in a great while just for fun (like on an overly-sausage-fest Spring Break or something). I think a lot of it is the Style of said hot guy. The outgoing, fashion-toting hot guy -- yeah, you'll see more average to below average Janes "detest" them. I think a good part of that is sour grapes from life experience. I think several great looking women too have an eyebrow raised about them in a negative way too -- as they have less control in any girl-guy situation VS a guy who's (merely) good looking. BUT, as you say...

But don't kid yourselves, good looks open lots of doors, especially when you are younger, that otherwise might not open to you . . . not only in the dating world but in the employment world and the selling yourself world also.

Yep. And also if one keeps those looks into their 30s, too.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 272
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 3:08:57 PM
"GTO, I've known a lot of handsome dudes and gorgeous women over a long lifetime. I can't think of one that was unfriendly or arrogant."

>>>most of the hotties I've known, weren't unfriendly often. They grew up on a pedestal, life was easier for them b/c if something went wrong in their life, someone was quick to run over and fix it as an excuse to get closer. But, I used to work with a woman who looks like an older Farrah Fawcett who did have a haughty way about her. she wasn't rude, per se, but you just got the vibe that she did consider herself just a little bit better than you for some reason, and when I got to meet her daughters who were also attractive, they did have the attitude towards me that I wasn't one of the beautiful people. as they were forced to get to know me over the years from contact with me, that instinctive attitude changed. but it still was a little like working with a landed gent, like there was some sort of status difference.

(I should say, the mom was a manager of a dept my dept had to oversee, so sometimes I did have to ask questions, and maybe she saw that as a challenge. except that one of her daughters worked at my bank, and i'd get the same attitude from her before I realized they were associated. Come to think of it, it all got evened out when the mom had her future daughter in law come into the workplace, quite the hottie herself, and she took a shine to me. perhaps that changed my category in their eyes.)

There were some hotties who could be nice, but in a pinch when things were demanding...that nice veneer cracked quick. They had been treated as the little prince or princess by their family, and boy when things stopped moving smoothly, the irritation came up quickly for no real good reason. they didn't always act arrogant, i'm not saying that. but they just didn't stand up to small challenges with the same grace as when things were going their way. does that make sense? when things weren't smooth, suddenly something like a "do you know who I am?" dismissal attitude came out. maybe it was a defense mechanism, they'd put you in your category in order to strengthen their own, b/c they weren't good at having strength and resilience to settle for a second choice. they couldn't roll with the punches, as do us "average looking people" who are used to the world not rolling the red carpet out at our feet.

I've noticed some ugly people who acted ugly. I might have noticed more, except that honestly, an ugly person doesn't mean as much to me as a beautiful one. an ugly person who acts ugly, is someone i'm going to pass by in a second and push them out of my mind--what possibly do they have, that I want? unless they are the classic workplace bully, of course. I have known some beautiful ladies in customer service who had the ice queen attitude...i'll bet it was from wearing the company uniform, which wasn't very chaste, or just from getting hit on often, or they were the middle child growing up, or...

I have noticed unattractive women chasing handsome fellows. I think most of us consider an attractive person worth the work. I also believe that those who don't naturally get attention from their God-given looks, compensate. i'd much rather date attractive women, I've "settled" and they've noticed the lack of erection, to be blunt. According to their facial expression, it hurt them. no one wants to feel unattractive to their partner. but, the only time I get an attractive woman, there's a reason--one was nuts, another had gotten a TBI in a car accident as a child, another was a former model who had gained a lot of birth weight, and the fourth had low self esteem. the rest of my gfs in the past were, frankly, in my league or a little below. also, I've been told that not being a drinker and picking up women in bars really shoots me in the foot. can't say for sure, but I do think a drunk woman will make choices a sober one does not :)

I do know of a forum member others think are attractive. I think her photos are too blurry to tell, and to be terribly blunt, i'm not impressed by her. but so what, others are, and she's very friendly. it might be a part of the culture of her locale, or it might be that she spent time around someone abusive and so she's quick to pour sugar on any fight she sees. doesn't matter, she's the apple of many of an eye here, and that's good for her. its likely true in her life as well, or at least I hope so for her.

attractive people can be smart. or sometimes, we just give them a second crack at the apple. there was a scientific study once about teachers giving attractive students second chances to answer a question, while with the average student, if the first answer was wrong the teacher moved to another student to ask the question.

I don't want it to sound like every hottie is the same, just like every rich kid isn't the same, or any other stereotype. But, sometimes when we have what others want, we get treated certain ways because we have a value our peers do not have. Right wrong or indifferent, tThat can create certain responsive behaviors. Why not take the easy path, if its presented on a silver platter? some stereotypes exist b/c they just get seen often enough. hoofbeats may not always mean a zebra, a horse, or an ass, but they do mean a four legged hoofed animal.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 273
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 3:36:27 PM

I do know of a forum member others think are attractive. I think her photos are too blurry to tell, and to be terribly blunt, i'm not impressed by her.


Ahhh... This must be that "negging" thing you all are always going on about.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 274
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 3:39:40 PM
naw, just being a jerk and not sugarcoating. It was blunt, and honestly, my take on it is just a grain of sand on a beach. plenty will tell me i'm an idjit, and that's fine. that person has plenty of fans, one stinker like me isn't going to upset that :) I just couldn't lie after being asked out it, unfortunately, and I apologize for being like that.

we all like, what we like. the secret to success is, loving the fans we do have :) what was it Lincoln said about not being able to impress everyone, all the time? we can only do what we can.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 275
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 3:50:00 PM

I think her photos are too blurry to tell, and to be terribly blunt, i'm not impressed by her.

Will ya'll quit talking about "me" like I wasn't here...;-)
Bawhahaha....

I don't know how someone can think or reason that "all" good looking people act better or differently...or most "ugly"(despise that word) people either...Just plain stupid thinking...?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 276
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 4:30:05 PM
GTO
that's faint praise.
Like if I said I know a male forum member jump back homely and fat but
shrug
Most not so pretty people are meaner than pretty people in my experience.
There are no ugly people
just ugly personalities and souls
Off to gorge on Mexican food ( and pay the price)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 277
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 6:36:38 PM
"GTO--that's faint praise"

>>>well, it was a counterargument. Benartflick had proposed a page before, "GTO, I've known a lot of handsome dudes and gorgeous women over a long lifetime. I can't think of one that was unfriendly or arrogant. To my knowledge in no way did any ever act superior to those less fortunate (in the looks department) or were condescending: they were human beings at the highest level - not just in appearance....Don't you agree a very attractive female on this forum is one of the friendliest and brightest participants? You know who I mean - so don't mention her name"

So I answered, others think she's attractive, I can't tell from her photos. Others think she is friendly and bright, I have a different opinion--not the opposite of their opinion, I just don't find it superlative. I just disagree with his example, but that's OK, we all disagree on some things. I can't say there are more "not so pretty people" who are mean, than hotties who are mean, it could be an equal percentage. Somewhere someone's got a study about it :) Still, I think its an interesting topic, just b/c it has to do with how people interact with other people. and why. but, its also a topic we've likely beaten to death.

good luck with the Mexican food.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 278
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 6:42:34 PM
I've no idea who you guys were talking about (I looked at my picture from every angle har har - maybe it will look blury when I'm drunk). How on earth do you know who he was talking about? Particularly if you didn't agree with the description?
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 279
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 7/9/2016 6:44:01 PM
It appears forum members are judging each other for potential (or non potential) date material! How funny. I enjoy the forums for the wide ranging topics and viewpoints. Sure, there are a few men on the forums I find attractive but they don't live near me and I am sure I am not their type.

Off to gorge on my home made cannoli.
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