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 AUTHOR
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 35
Why is it so hard to meet someone?Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

It's because the men you have something in common with are most likely gays or geeks. Try getting some interests that would have a higher percentage of heterosexual men in it. You can then find someone who isn't just looking for sex.

Even if this were true, and it isn't (geeks are a bad thing??) - you're asking her to take up hobbies she's not really interested in to catch a man. What are we living in, 1957? How retro. GTFOH with that crap.

Music; IT; ID; technical writing; digital art; illustration; sous chefs; anthropology; culture studies? All straight dudes galore. Hip, cool muthafukas to boot. Everything other than dancing.

Yep. I'll second this.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 36
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 6:11:43 AM

I think it's normal that 95% don't like you and you don't like 95%. That still leaves millions of matches.


When I see profiles from a bunch of women around my age, chances are I would be interested in more than 5% of these women. I tend to be more flexible at the beginning. Having said that, the problem is many of these women won't be interested in me due to various reasons.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 37
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 6:39:46 AM

HawkingJr I really dont understand how you can be single


Oh noooooooohhhhh. Wbelle, you don't know what you have done. Now Halking is going to write a 7 page diatribe about all the reasons why he can't get women. Starting with the one that he believes that being short, shorts all his chances. So the Tsunami of words is coming. I warned you.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 8:10:24 AM
Whirlbelle: If I am handsome (and I’m definitely not saying I am), then as many women have said in these forums, that is not merely enough.

In 9 years on POF and 20 years in OLD in general, I have used every approach under the sun for the 10,000+ first contact messages I’ve sent out. There is, unfortunately, no approach that works on a woman who is not attracted to you. And strangely enough, many non-inappropriate approaches work on a woman who is attracted to you (see below). Being in that 5% is ultimately all that matters. Or in my case, 1%.

InnerGorilla: You know, you still haven’t explained to me why it is women frequently send serious messages to your purposely self-sabotaging profiles while my well-written serious profile recently went 6 consecutive months without an unsolicited view and hasn’t received an unsolicited message since 2013. We live in major metros that are close to the same size, we’re both successful professionals, we have nearly identical educational backgrounds, we’re both minorities and we’re both in good shape. You are a few years older, but otherwise we are largely twins by POF search standards. Yet you write a bunch of marlarky on your profile telling women you’re taken and not to contact you because you’re just here for the forums and (formerly) posted some grainy shrug-worthy pictures, and get views and messages galore. My profile is extremely well-written in comparison to 95% of the guys on here (I read men’s profiles all the time, what little there is to read in them) and I have good quality, interesting photos of me all over the world, and yet I go months without unsolicited views and years without unsolicited messages.

How do you make sense of that in your world?

And before you tell me it’s my “approach,” pray tell me how much “approaching” you did to get those messages you didn’t want.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 39
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 8:34:12 AM
"InnerGorilla: You know, you still haven’t explained to me why it is women frequently send serious messages to your purposely self-sabotaging profiles while my well-written serious profile recently went 6 consecutive months without an unsolicited view and hasn’t received an unsolicited message since 2013. "





Oh nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Hawking, you don't know what YOU have done !

Seriously ....does the phrase " the wheels of the bus go round and round " mean anything ?

Why keep indulging in futility ?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 40
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 8:53:16 AM
"My interests aren't that weird, some of them are not mainstream though. They're more creative and multicultural things. My friends mock everything I like"

>>>sunnovagun. no, really, I've had the same experience. Growing up, I was curious about my surroundings, except that back in the late 1970's, "Being cool" meant being detached from everything around you. being too cool to be impressed by it. meanwhile, i'd geek out on it, and most of my peers would label me "weird" for being so interested, for noticing things in the background they didn't even notice. And like you out there, over here where I am, the average person who is running in the mainstream isn't interested in checking out every branch and riverbank and the cities beyond. being that curious about surroundings, really doesn't strike the proverbial chord with most people.

Lucky for me, i'm an only child, raised out in the sticks, so being alone became something I got practice in. learned how to entertain myself, tho yes, there are places I go and want to grab someone's sleeve and say, "didya see that!". Luckily I have two female friends who are willing to come along--which is odd, b/c neither one has any real hobbies or passions, they AREN'T naturally curious, but I think they want to be and with me around I "do all the work" of finding things for them, lol.

But to actually date me? nope, neither one is interested. so I get the basket half full. and I can either get sad about it, or have the attitude that something is better than nothing. which last for a few hours, and then they talk about the guy who comes over for a booty call and I get discouraged :) oh well, the bird of happiness doesn't stick around for long.

Enough about me, I might recommend for you....attempt a little discourse with the couples. you might get some woman who worries you are after her man, since you are attractive. I don't have that issue, but sometimes just talking for the sake of talking to someone, not looking for more than that, takes a bit of the edge off. and you might find a couple who says, "OMG, we know a guy for you!"

also, I can say that when I was your age, I was single for years, and so I approached contact with humans...probably with the intent of "Solving my problem". Chances are, without meaning to, I came off as that guy desperate for a date, and as the movie dialogue says, "desperation is the world's worst cologne". There's likely a chance I scared off someone by acting, "Could you please release me from my dungeon and make my life better?"

not saying that you ARE doing this, if your friends are as conscious about details and life around them as you are, they might have insight on whether or not you are. But, I can say, its normal at your age (ie, others have posted about this subject with this intensity) to go, "I've graduated school, gotten a job, the next step in life is finding love...WTF is going on? why isn't it coming to me like schoolwork and applying for a job got me what I wanted from them?" I think as we get older, we slide into the "meh" mindset. we still want to feel the electricity of being wanted and desired, but we've had so much practice of living without it, we are complacent to continue doing so...

finally, the notion that a man's approach means a lot, I think is something we guys tend to forget. Some good looking guys may not have to approach women, b/c there's enough aggressive-personality women who are willing to chase after what they want. BUT, if those guys shifted gears, came after the women, those women might be doing too much defense to wage any offense.

and the guy who approaches a woman like he needs her to undo all the ignoring he has gotten from past women? he will set off her "comfort zone danger! comfort zone danger!" alarm. she doesn't want to feel like she's just another hot chik he needs to make himself feel good after years of being ignored. that darned desperation cologne again. she wants to feel she is special, not convenient. She wants to be desired for being unique, not for being hot.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 10:54:40 AM
addendum: I suspect that even into our thirties, we still wish to be accepted, so most people may still cling to the mainstream, where our odds are better. Also, we believe we have the rest of our lives to enjoy the things we hold dear--and secret. Once past that, however, as our parents get older we realize time is finite, and at the same time we realize....fck it, we like what we like. David Bowie was right, push the envelope a little. As long as we like ourselves, well, its still nice to be liked by the hoi polloi, but let's like ourselves first. less fake, more eccentric. or less "give a rat's caboose."
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 42
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 5:51:31 PM
whirbelle7- I have a suspicion about you and if I'm right we have more than one thing in common.
Let's start with the looks issue.
That is NOT your problem, you are very pretty, anyone that says different is blind.
Me, all the time (with OLD) I get rejected over my weight, it sucks, but I'm working on it.
If you being tall is an issue like my weight is, well, I can lose weight, but you can't get shorter, so you are just going to have to consider that THEIR problem, IF that is the issue. (btw-I do MUCH better IRL with the issue of my weight, I don't need to lose a lot, but men see that I answer honestly to that question online and they pass me by, not so, in person)
Neither of us is willing to settle. We know by now what we want and don't want and as frustrating as it is to stay single sometimes, I know I am happier single that I was miserable and attached. I won't do that again and I can tell you won't either.
Which leads me to what I think our REAL shared problem is...............
(some people are going to tear me to shreds for this, but it's the truth and I'm going to say it)
We are strong women and there are a LOT of men that just can't handle that.
They think they can, they may even say they can or say they want someone like us, but a lot of them don't, not really.
Society LOVES to place the 'itch label on strong women.
God forbid we mean what we say and say what we mean, or that we stand up for ourselves, oh no, that won't do.
Some men are raised thinking that women should be meek, even today boys are being raised in the old labels that a lot of us were raised with. Men are supposed to do this and be this way, women are supposed to do that and be that way.
They grow up and bring this mind set into relationships, which is going to sit as well with women like us as lead floats on water.
I have lost COUNT of how many times I've met men that swear they want a woman like me, but when faced with the reality that IS me, they can't handle it.
You, too, are a strong woman, I can tell, just by what you have said.
There are men that really CAN love us, accept us and want us, but it isn't easy finding them.
I will stay alone for the REST of my life before I repeat what I did in my last relationship, I LET myself BE weak to make someone else happy and that does NOT work, trying to be something you aren't to be in a relationship doesn't work for ANYONE.
Stay strong, somewhere out there is the person who will accept you as is and that is worth waiting for. :)
(btw- That's too bad for the men who pass us by, because the strongest women are the most loyal and loving, we will stand by the person we are with through it all, sometimes to our detriment, hence the train wreck that was my marriage, but we don't flake out or give up easily, which can also be a good thing)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 43
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 7:46:25 PM
just for the sake of argument....the men who pass by, are the ones who aren't a good fit. so its, technically, good for both parties that they move on to whom they are a good fit for, and leave the lady left behind, for a fellow who's a better fit.

As for standing solid thru thick and thin...isn't that labeled, "Stubbornness" ? :)
 patchjoker13
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 44
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/14/2016 11:24:20 PM
Bamagirl- Your whole "guys don't like you because you are a strong woman" argument is a bunch of crap. First off whirbelle stated that she hangs out with friends who she allows to make fun of her and talk down to her because she likes art and is cultured. That does not sound strong to me, if anything her posts display a lack of confidence. If you don't believe me, read through them again. Second, your post is just another "men are not worthy of us" kind of rant. The poor women are labeled a bit*h when they are confident, I disagree, and does the word "bit*h" even have a negative meaning anymore. There is even a song where a woman proudly proclaims herself as a "bit*h". There is a country song where a women talks about smashing up her man's truck because he cheated.....and have you watched reality TV...bit*h is the hottest trend going.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 45
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 5:12:28 AM
Join meetups and take classes like Spanish or German or molecular biology or how to change your car oil. If you are an artist, rent some space in an art warehouse and meet like minded people.

Also, consider sean penn charlize theron. Height didnt matter while it lasted.

Online dating is a backup.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 46
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 6:25:11 AM
Hi OP
Don't date guys who are critical of you
Define who it is you want instead of who you don't want, will save you a lot of trouble. All the people attending were a couple? If you envy something/want something you tend to see it everywhere.. and with rose colored glasses.
Don't spend a lot of time msging and chatting = move quickly to meet them before you create a fantasy.
You are of average height to me :/
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 47
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 6:49:27 AM

We are strong women and there are a LOT of men that just can't handle that.


In my experience, some women will use that as an excuse when they can't get dates, Men are intimidated because she's tall, muscular, assertive, makes more money than he does etc. While it may happen once a while, I think usually it's lack of physical attraction or poor personality / attitude that is a turn off.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 48
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 8:13:53 AM

What I want is a guy I can talk to, and I can never meet a guy who can have a good conversation, likes what I like, or likes to do anything other than sex.

Sex is the only thing we were meant to have in common from a Biological standpoint. Men and women are very different, think and operate very differently from each other, want different things out of life, relationships, sex, etc. Trying to find someone with whom you have much more in common is always going to prove difficult, it's like wanting a girlfriend in a boyfriend, lol.


I just feel like there is nobody out there for me and I will probably just die alone.

You are totally underestimating the benefits of being alone, the freedom that such represents,


I could possibly live for 40 more years, it's going to be so boring all by myself.

What? Maybe that's the problem, that you are boring. You cannot rely on anyone to make your life less boring, more interesting, bring happiness or anything that you don't already provide for yourself and to yourself. I'm not sure anyone would want to think of themselves as the entertainer in a relationship.


But that's all my life ever is. Utter loneliness.

But you say it like it's a bad thing, feeling lonely is completely something you've decided, and therefore something you can change. You need figure out who you are, what you like, the things you enjoy, and how to want to live the rest of your life. Then figure out if you really want to share who you are with someone else, what you have to offer them, and what you want from them, etc.


It sucks because I can make friends easily but the only guys who like me are ones i have nothing in common with and don't feel any attraction towards.

Well, the problem is that you have a fixed idea of attraction, and you are basing it on commonalities. If you are willing to give someone a chance, who falls outside of those parameters, you may find yourself a match.

You can't go around looking for a replica of yourself, just with other things that they bring to the table on their own. It just doesn't work like that.


Does anyone else go through this, too?

Not really, but I do understand the situation. For me, I've built my life to suit me, and do everything in accordance to the life I want to live, not necessarily that which will make someone else fit in my life. I put myself and my wellbeing above everyone and anyone, and that which does not align with my wellbeing (emotionally, financially, physically, etc), has got to go.

I enjoy my own company the most, and one of the things I've realized throughout the years is that I like the idea of having a boyfriend, not the reality of having a boyfriend. I like the honeymoon stage, but as soon that ends and you have to deal with relationship issues, I become dissatisfied with the relationship, and check out emotionally, and eventually physically. All of these things I'm disclosing are things that look a lot of time to realize and comprehend. I detest unhappiness, unhappiness is uncomfortable, struggling with someone is uncomfortable, I don't want to deal with people's problems unless I'm getting paid to do so. My career choices propelled me in certain directions and have established tolerance and limits to what I'm willing to deal with, with people. I simply don't have it in me to deal with someone other than my own, it's not that I cannot, it's that I don't want to, it will feel like I'm dealing with one more patient. If I begin to associate someone with the feeling of having a patient, it's over.

One of those things that you have to realize is that no one gives a f*ck about you, so you have to be everything to yourself, all you want to have in your life, and much more. You cannot rely on people to give you anything, people have their own agendas. I don't want you to think that this is coming from any kind of bitterness regarding relationship, this is just the reality of life.

It is a fact that intelligent people have a harder time finding a match, because well......they have a lot more to consider (a lot more than the average bear). Intelligent people can see issues before they arise and therefore eliminate almost everyone from the search, so it becomes something the pends on emotion.

WomenInProgress, as well Bamagirl are women whose opinion I tend to reflect and agree on. I didn't want to repeat what they said, so read their post again.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 49
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 8:40:11 AM

It is a fact that intelligent people have a harder time finding a match, because well......they have a lot more to consider (a lot more than the average bear). Intelligent people can see issues before they arise and therefore eliminate almost everyone from the search, so it becomes something the pends on emotion.


It's good to see back some of the old Forumnites like Halkings and Belle. Perhaps we can all move into arguments that are worth reading rather than the attack wars of the last six months that not only ended up in people disappearing, but more useless attacks.

So back to the subject above. I believe that intelligent people do have it harder. Why? Because they think too much. Because everything becomes logical and serendipity goes out the window. Sometimes what people need is what Eaheart Toole talks about in the Power of Now, and that is to let go and stop thinking and clean your mind of the past and future and think only of present.

To answer Halkings without a going into two tomes of War and Peace, I do not know why my approach worked. Some people here said because I may not be as average as I think I look, and it's all looks. I tend to disagree with that because there were times when no matter what I did, I could not get a date at all. Then something change in me, an attitude and approach, something and like a cloak was removed I was able to connect. Two factors I think were key. One, that I didn't give a s h i t, and that I spoke with raw emotions that somehow connected with a particular type of women. Both are things that in my opinion, can be learned and applied.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 50
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 9:08:01 AM

One, that I didn't give a s h i t, and that I spoke with raw emotions that somehow connected with a particular type of women.

This is what worked for my former SO. "Didn't give a s h I t" doesn't mean that he was rude or mean or condescending. It means that he spoke HIS truth instead of trying to guess what would work for me and then parrot that to me.

I guess another way to say it was he was (or appeared to me) to be authentic.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 51
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 9:17:27 AM

One, that I didn't give a s h i t, and that I spoke with raw emotions that somehow connected with a particular type of women. Both are things that in my opinion, can be learned and applied.


I agree this is good, as far as "being true to yourself", not guessing what the other person wants to hear. if it is exactly that
I think some people (guys?) take the concept a little too far and deliberately disagree with everything anyone else says in an attempt to flaunt their "independent thinking". IOW be true, not ornery..
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 52
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 10:29:13 AM
Indeed, thinking too much can kill a relationship, which tends to generally be about faith, trust and emotion. What's logical about any of those?

Not caring enough about a woman to make her the solution to our problems of not having a date, or making the mistake of turning dates into reflections upon our worth, rather than leaving a date to be just a fun sharing of time, taking a woman's response to us waaayyy too personally...I can see how NGAS can work. by taking some stress off of her.

speaking in emotions, yep, that certainly works with women who enjoy emotions. Slander me all you want, but there's sure a lot of ladies out there hard-wired to enjoy the feelings emotions create. I know, I know, no one likes the old book, "women are from mars, men are from Uranus", but there's some truth in there. Ask a guy h0w his day went, and he'll give you a list of things that happened...and leave you to imagine how he felt. SOME women will instead tell you how they were feeling, and how events impacted upon them. Thus, there can be a difference in communication.

and considering the compliments IG has gotten sometimes over his photos, I guess he ain't bad looking, to boot :) I think a good appearance can get our foot in the door, but that's all....we still can screw it up. Whether that's getting a relationship or making a sales call.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 53
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 10:50:32 AM

This is what worked for my former SO. "Didn't give a s h I t" doesn't mean that he was rude or mean or condescending. It means that he spoke HIS truth instead of trying to guess what would work for me and then parrot that to me.

I guess another way to say it was he was (or appeared to me) to be authentic.


Exactly.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 54
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 10:57:30 AM
some people call it being "brutally honest" though for some the emphasis is more on being "brutal" than "honest"
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 55
view profile
History
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 11:52:20 AM
You two know exactly how “Didn't give a s h I t” will be interpreted anytime a short man does it: NAPOLOEON COMPLEX. OVERCOMPENSATING. There is no winning.

“I do not know why my approach worked”

That’s just the thing, man: it was not an “approach.” You were/are deliberately trying to keep women from contacting you because you are taken and only here for the forums, and somehow you got many more views and emails than a similar person making a legitimate attempt to get dates. If we were talking about how each other contacted women on this site, THAT would be a debate about our “approach” methods and you might very well win such a debate – maybe I am sending out the LOUSIEST first contact emails in the history of humanity and all my failures are on me (though there is no way you can prove that unless I post some of my first contact emails).

But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the interest each of us gets by just EXISTING. Or at least the interest our profiles get by just being. I think we’d be hardpressed to find anyone (no matter how much she may hate me) that would declare your current profile superior to my current profile for the purpose of getting dates, and yet women still contact you semi-frequently for dates (probably even with the current pictureless profile) and I haven’t had a first contact email in 3 years. How can you possibly reconcile that with your “it’s all in the approach and attitude” philosophy?

“Online dating is a backup.”

Is it now?

When we are young, almost everyone we meet is single (or if not single, certainly not in a strong relationship, regardless of what we might think when we are teens). Your dating pool is vast and finding a new potential date in the real world is like shooting fish in a barrel. (Actually getting them to date you is another story.)

By the age of 30, over half of all people are married and many of the others are in rock solid relationships. When you hit 40, pretty much everyone is either married or damaged. Meeting single people at all close to your age is a rare event. Meeting single people who aren’t damaged is near miraculous. Meeting single people who would be great matches is Powerball stuff. Imagine attempting to play Powerball in real life with the population of the United States (300 million people plus, Powerball odds = 1 in 300 million). You really going to leave stumbling across that one person in a population of 300 million entirely to chance? More realistically, let’s say I have 5 good matches in the Tampa Bay area and they live in Port Richey, St. Pete Beach, Lakeland, Palmetto and Ruskin. Last time I was in Port Richey? 2007. Last time I was in Lakeland (besides stopping for gas on the way to Orlando)? The 90s. Last time I was in Palmetto or Ruskin? NEVER. What reasons would I ever have to go to these places? What reasons would those matches ever have to come to places I hang out at in Tampa? Heck, I lived 5 minutes from Seffner for over a decade and have been there once, back in the Blockbuster days because their Blockbuster had a movie my regular Blockbuster didn’t (I bring Seffner up because the last woman close to my age to send me a first contact email lived in Seffner).

But that Blockbuster example is kind of my point. Thanks to a computer, I discovered what I was looking for was at a place I otherwise would never have had reason to go to. At our age, if you’re seriously going to rely primarily on “real life” to find needles in haystacks, then you better be ready for a long wait. I’ve lived in Tampa the majority of my adult life and have only gone on dates with a couple of women who live in Tampa proper – all the others lived in farflung places like Port Richey, Tarpon Springs and Sarasota that I would never have ventured to if I hadn’t discovered those women existed thanks to OLD. I do realize I’m an extreme case – as a bottom 1%-er, I’m looking for MICROSCOPIC needles in a mountain-sized haystack, so I pretty much need a microscopic tool to find them. But the older the rest of you get, even you top 10%-ers, the more difficult it’s going to be for you to find single undamaged people in real life, especially good matches, so if you’re one of those people (like many women) who can’t develop any attraction from a guy’s profile but also won’t meet someone unless you have developed that attraction, good luck with that strategy in the long run.

Intelligence discussion: I actually agree with this. Nobody around these parts analyzes everything like I do and I've undoubtedly analyzed myself out of dates, though not quite the same way the Seinfeldian class does ("Her left toe is slightly crooked -- I can't have children with someone whose left toe is slightly crooked!"). But despite sending 10,000+ emails out on this site, I've skipped over some promising profiles after perhaps over-analyzing them and "finding" not fault with the woman but reasons why the woman would likely reject me, hidden between the lines. More than once, I analyzed an actual dating situation I was in to death and accidentally sabotaged myself as a result. But there's definitely a big difference between what I'm talking about and what you guys are talking about, because I don't have a problem whatsoever with dating an unintelligent woman -- intelligence really isn't any sort of attraction factor to me and I can take it or leave it, which is one reason why I find such a large percentage of women attractive. I've dated very few truly intelligent women, mostly because smart women are smart enough not to date me -- it has nothing to do with me being intimidated by them or some such foolish nonsense. I actually think it would be kind of cool to date someone as smart as me: we could spend our evenings trying to outsmart each other.

“Why keep indulging in futility ?”

I just spent 4 months wandering the deserts of the Southwest and Mexico then oversaw a top 20 film release and then almost singlehandedly ran a mid-major film festival... so the first thing I said to myself when I got done with all of that and found myself with nothing to do for a while was “I need to be entertained: I should go back to POF forums and spin my wheels.” Seriously, though -- there are no new topics under the POF sun. Everything is a retread. You participate in the retread threads that entertain you, and I shall participate in the retread threads that entertain me. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? Then you are in the wrong threads.

But there’s great irony in what IG said “useless attacks,” because every time I come back here, I get sideswiped, completely unprovoked, by a bunch of random regulars, who then run off into the POF forest, with their eyes the only thing visible in the trees until they see another opportunity to swoop in and peck me before quickly disappearing back into the woods. If you want to debate me, debate me. Don’t act like a 4-year-old playing tag.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 56
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 3:09:39 PM
I suggest there is a difference between a short fellow, who doesn't GAS, and keeps it to himself, and someone who overcompensates. The latter seems to have to make it known they are doing something, while the former....doesn't have to make it known, they just disappear silently to do what they want and someone notices eventually and goes, "huh, guess they didn't care." In my experience, the "little man complex" could also be defined as everything was in superlatives...whatever you did, they got it cheaper. or got more of it, or got screwed more, etc.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 57
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/15/2016 8:07:18 PM

I know, I know, no one likes the old book, "women are from mars, men are from Uranus"

You got that right. I love to read academic literature on the human personality... but not this amateur pseudo-sensational crap.
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 58
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/16/2016 12:29:15 AM
John Gray sold books because of the PhD on the cover. He has no accredited academic education whatsoever. The "university" doesn't exist and it's not accredited. This is an example of a sham. He made millions and was sued for fraud.

He actually only has a high school diploma.

Please read from accredited authors.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 59
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/16/2016 12:43:54 AM
^^^Yup. I like this blog:
https://therebuttalfromuranus.wordpress.com/
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