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 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 110
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?Page 5 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Michelinman2- Condolences on the loss of your son.
You are the first person I have come across that says they don't have children because their child is grown.
But ok, say that if you want.
I understand the struggle to hear and the related social awkwardness, I have the same issue. (I am almost deaf in my right ear, struggle to tell where sound is coming from and can NOT understand anything if two people talk at once, boy does that make loud places interesting).
However, the problem people had with Tom had nothing to do with his stature or his hearing.
Carry on.
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 111
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/20/2016 8:10:12 PM
[men would prefer the "hottest" woman they can get over the one that shares similar values and such]

Why is it always positioned that a man has to choose between a woman he finds attractive or a woman that shares similar values? Why can't a man have both? It's not impossible. And PS "hottest" is in eye of the beholder.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 112
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 9:45:18 AM
I can't speak for why others feel they have to choose one or the other....but i can say in my life, a woman who is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside, tends to be already taken. What possible reason would her last lover have to let her go? she's gold. i tend to find physically attractive women who have lived on their looks, can't balance their checkbook, or i find someone who can stand well on her own two feet b/c she didn't have guys constantly running over to help...b/c she isn't a bombshell bricksh'thouse big bosomed blonde.

And yes, post script, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There are women and men who are classically attractive, who get attention from the general populace. There are women i didn't find attractive, but if they flirted with me it was great b/c everyone else had the hots for this gal. There are also women who caught my attention b/c they were confident, had a healthy sexual attitude, brains, etc...but a two dimensional photo wouldn't have done justice. But they were worth me getting off my butt and trying to get their attention, instead of just watching as they walked past. some people are only good to look at, others are great to interact with...and some are both.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 113
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 9:47:17 AM

I can't speak for why others feel they have to choose one or the other....but i can say in my life, a woman who is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside, tends to be already taken. What possible reason would her last lover have to let her go? she's gold.

What if she let him go? Just sayin'.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 114
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 9:58:44 AM
"a woman who is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside, tends to be already taken. What possible reason would her last lover have to let her go? "





Many reasons actually

Some examples :

She's always busy and he is the needy type

Because she's so wonderful guys are constantly hitting on her, he is the insecure jealous type and one day can't take it any more

She has young kids and he realizes it's not his cup of tea
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 115
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Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 10:14:13 AM

Why is it always positioned that a man has to choose between a woman he finds attractive or a woman that shares similar values? Why can't a man have both? It's not impossible. And PS "hottest" is in eye of the beholder.



Oh, hallelujah!

And this goes for "a woman," too.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 116
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Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 11:12:22 AM

"Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?"




...the OP did not use those two words, some smart ass around here like to change titles. I guess they think they are funny.

Remember to change things to suit you.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 117
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 11:48:18 AM
LadyInWonderland- Sweetie, look at the title right about where I am typing, right on the same space you posted-See the title? ^^^^
It says: "Why is it so hard to meet someone."
This was the original title.
Exciting and good looking were added later.
You're welcome. :D
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 118
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 11:59:07 AM

"a woman who is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside, tends to be already taken. What possible reason would her last lover have to let her go? "


Not really. They are dime a dozen. And why may they be single? Because their SO, husband, boyfriend cheated on them, or used to beat them up, or were so busy with work that they became disconnected, or the dude was addicted to porn, booze, pills, opiates, strippers, work.

The reasons are a million. What that means is that you can be an awesome person inside and out, but more than likely, like the rest of us, you will have Baggage.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 119
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 12:23:36 PM

LadyInWonderland- Sweetie, look at the title right about where I am typing, right on the same space you posted-See the title? ^^^^
It says: "Why is it so hard to meet someone."


Look at LadyInWonderland’s post….SHE was the one who changed it back to the original title, and was merely suggesting you could change it back yourself if it bothered you. Why so condescending?


I have 2, grown and on their own. Never thought to wipe out their existence because they don't live with me....


She’s made another fake profile because the last dozen have been nuked; that’s why her words and her profile don’t match.

I don’t forgive people for bellowing vile hateful racist comments. That’s not “politics,” that’s being a vile hateful racist. Whatever defects Tom supposedly endured should have made him MORE compassionate toward others. No one remembers why he claimed to have left Ohio??

Not only did he brag about banging young women like a screen door in a tornado, he private messaged profiles of women he supposedly “banged” to offer as “proof.” Don’t make excuses for him and I don’t care who claims to have met him and how he supposedly is in real life.
Go check out his multiple username posts in Off Topic. He was the most vocal hater on there, and that’s saying something.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 120
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History
Why is it so hard to meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 12:29:55 PM

"a woman who is as attractive on the outside as she is on the inside, tends to be already taken. What possible reason would her last lover have to let her go? "


Not really. They are dime a dozen.


Huh? A dime a dozen? I think what was intended was "beautiful on the inside, beautiful on the outside". This is common?
 darknight474
Joined: 1/12/2016
Msg: 121
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 12:53:39 PM

Don’t make excuses for him and I don’t care who claims to have met him and how he supposedly is in real life.


Well I guess all we have is your word about the messaging profiles for proof which pretty much means you're talking shyt.

If all we have to determine someone's character is by their posts it would be safe to assume you're nothing but a bitter vindictive bytch.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 122
Why is it so hard when I meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 12:53:41 PM
Alas, I stand corrected. or sit so. Here out in the sticks, growing up and asking ladies out, the ones attractive on the inside and out told me they were taken. As I got to know some of them, it was true--they weren't lying in order to keep me away. There were some who, indeed, hooked up with some loser--and when they learned that wasn't what they wanted, they didn't have to wait more than a few weeks (the time i'd wait to not catch them on the rebound) before they found another guy. not like the guys were literally waiting in line for their chance, but....people who have a lot to offer, tend to hang out with people who have a lot to offer. So they just never stayed alone for long in life. There was always someone in the wings, as it were. it was just a matter of finding one good looking enough, and if a good woman is looking for personality over looks, well, her male friends don't have to be Brad Pitt exactly.

An older, ie experienced, person who has a lot to offer...I find tends not to make poor choices in dates. I HAVE met people who seemed to have it together, who made bad choices, and once I got to know them better, could see the red flags they waved behind that June Cleaver mask. But for the most part, out here it seems, good people tended to find the good people, hook up, stay together with the idea of things moving to marriage and children. Sometimes, it didn't work out, but they still wanted marriage and kids, so they kept looking amongst the people they met and places they hung out at (ie, not loser bars). it might sound odd to say they traveled in certain circles and met certain people but....they did. they know what they wanted, what they didn't want, and favored the former while avoiding the latter.

The times they spent alone between relationships wasn't very long, they enjoyed being single until....they got swept off their feet. they might make me a friend, wouldn't make me a lover, they weren't desperate to hook up. They knew they could wait to get swept off their feet, and...that's what happened. Not some "happy ever after" fairytale, I just mean they knew they could ask for a lot from a date in the past, and they continued to do so. And in doing so, they tended to get partners who weren't out for a pump and dump. breakups were due to factors that had been worked on and found unfixable.

but, hey, everyone's mileage and experience may vary. I don't mean to sound like a snob, I know everyone's got some beauty to offer, but i was talking about a certain type of person, one who isn't going to date Mr. Wrong, b/c he's so far from how Daddy treated her with love. Someone who finds an addictive personality odd, even if they can't say why, b/c its not what they grew up around. Or a cheating personality odd b/c they were taught at home to not be so self-centered. Or the guy who wouldn't date a woman who disrespects him, or wouldn't date someone who has a deal breaker b/c he knows he'll end up with that deal breaker breaking the deal. he just plans ahead like that, which is why his life ends up being so put-together--he doesn't like ending up in bad situations, so he makes sure to begin by not putting himself there just to get laid.

now, they may sleep with a person....:) but not enter into a bad relationship, except out of naivete. And once they see what's rotten, they seemed to find someone else in high school or college who was just so awesome, they got sick of being single and had a better idea of what a red flag looked like, and saw that this new partner had much more to offer. yeah, i know, sounds like a fairy tale :) but i know people who didn't have to go far to find a partner, didn't have to settle for someone average or abusive or had an addictive personalty that was so unlike what they grew up around. that's the person who i meant. things may not have been perfect, but they sure weren't hopping from relationship to relationship.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 123
Why is it so hard when I meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 1:26:43 PM
gtomustang- Corrected by whom?
A lot of what you say makes sense.
I have a headache right now, so I hope I do ok with expressing this:
I really don't think there IS a one size fits all type of approach, nor are there answers that will work for everyone.
I do NOT buy the self help videos, or books, for this reason.
At the end of the day, I'm pretty sure we are all playing darts blind folded, hoping to hit a bulls eye.
I agree that most of the people who are good inside AND out are taken, I run into that a LOT, but not all of them.
God forbid, I go making excuses again, but OLD is crap and the odds of finding those that fit the "not all of them" bill are slim to none.
Just speaking for me, I do well with men approaching me IRL, but often they are taken. (either they are not aware of the signals they send, or I'm misreading them, or both, OR, they know exactly what they are doing, which means I don't want them)) Boy, is THAT frustrating.
Other times, they open their mouths and an absolute deal breaker comes spilling out.
I will not deal with racism or homophobia and I live in the deep south. (oopsie there I go making excuses, again)
I do NOT expect perfection, that does NOT exist, I am well aware of that.
Which leads me to my MOST vexing problem, a lot of the time, if I am interested in them, they are not interested in me, or visa versa. CRAP! ;)
Anyway, I'm not sure you should "stand corrected." Like I said, a lot of what you said was valid and we are all expressing opinions here. (most of the time)
The truth is, none of us has THE answer and we are all just doing our best (with some, that is a sad state of affairs, but there are a lot of people here I like).
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 124
Why is it so hard when I meet someone exciting and good looking?
Posted: 1/21/2016 2:17:31 PM

The times they spent alone between relationships wasn't very long, they enjoyed being single until....they got swept off their feet.


I've known women like that too-they're newly single, and in no time, they're getting offers from guys to go out on dates without needing to advertise that they're single. There must be a secret news bulletin coming out every week that I don't know about, that announces what women are newly single and available, since everybody else seems to know who they are. lol. That was going on before the days of the internet and on line dating sites.
 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 125
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Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 2:27:03 PM

Look at LadyInWonderland’s post….SHE was the one who changed it back to the original title, and was merely suggesting you could change it back yourself if it bothered you. Why so condescending?

Much appreciated. It seems to me you usually pick up on things. Cool. I like smart women. I was thinking she would; I'm practicing writing shorter posts.


LadyInWonderland- Sweetie, look at the title right about where I am typing, right on the same space you posted-See the title? ^^^^
It says: "Why is it so hard to meet someone."
This was the original title.
Exciting and good looking were added later.
You're welcome. :D

Do tell. Thanks, Sugar Buns.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 126
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/21/2016 3:00:21 PM
ladyinWonderland- It was rather vague, but if you say so.
The snide, sneaky insult to my intelligence was a nice touch.
Bless your heart. (There are a few people here who know what it means when someone from the south says THAT)
Carry on. :D :D
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 127
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Most forget about this Box......
Posted: 1/21/2016 8:18:18 PM
Most the time, most of us forget about the Title/Subject Box, when we're posting.....

It's all Mind over Matter.....

If You don't Mind....... It don't Matter.............
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 128
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/22/2016 8:29:16 AM

I've known women like that too-they're newly single, and in no time, they're getting offers from guys to go out on dates without needing to advertise that they're single. There must be a secret news bulletin coming out every week that I don't know about, that announces what women are newly single and available, since everybody else seems to know who they are. lol. That was going on before the days of the internet and on line dating sites.

I think more men just approach whoever they have interest in and hope they're single. Beyond that women who are single are just out and about more when they are, so they are more likely to be hit on more. Odds.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 129
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/22/2016 8:46:05 AM
Thanks, Bama, we're of a similar mind :)

I agree with WiP, and will add....sometimes, a newly-single will mention to her friends about the breakup, and word gets around to those interested in engaging other people and listening to what they say. Gossip, if you will--everyone talks about the long time relationship that ended. Or the person who is really catch is now single, that's always a worthy topic of beat-to-death debate. Some guys are just frankly go-getters...they spot a woman at church or at work or in school who really seems like a peach, and they make a mental note to always to get to know about her, and then they get the news b/c they are just receptive by nature (while other guys only notice what's going around them if it impacts them in some way). And sometimes, that newly single lass seems a bit down b/c of her breakup, and those who've always wanted to date her ask what's up in her life....or, she might be in a better mood than she has been in a month, b/c she finally got closure on a relationship that just dragged on after it had already died.

thanks guys, butters gets the props for it...he gave me the necessary push. "better late than never", I believe is a phrase I once used back when gf hadn't had her "montly visit" yet :)
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 130
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Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/22/2016 8:50:04 AM
GTO, better picture.

ChickenButterChuck - GTO was right - he hasn't changed.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 131
Why is it so hard to change a profile pic ?
Posted: 1/22/2016 8:54:16 AM
Mischro ( see what I did there ? ) , I agree it is a better pic of GTO, long overdue but better late than never !
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 132
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Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:23:58 AM
OP (Whirlbelle7)...Where are you? Come back to the thread!

You're chocolatey brown and I'm down!

You have a nice profile and you look great. Those Chicago dudes are duds.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 133
Why is it so hard to change a profile pic ?
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:31:08 AM

The times they spent alone between relationships wasn't very long, they enjoyed being single until....they got swept off their feet. they might make me a friend, wouldn't make me a lover, they weren't desperate to hook up. They knew they could wait to get swept off their feet, and...that's what happened. Not some "happy ever after" fairytale, I just mean they knew they could ask for a lot from a date in the past, and they continued to do so. And in doing so, they tended to get partners who weren't out for a pump and dump. breakups were due to factors that had been worked on and found unfixable.


That's me, lol.

I need to feel it, I need the heart palpitations, the butterflies, the curiosity of everything about a particular person, or I simply have no interest in continuing. See, the problem is that when that's not present, you can be with someone and end up lusting after that gentleman that comes later on the road who does make you feel weak at the knees. It wouldn't be fair to be with someone because they are good for you, and everything you needed, except they are not what you want. You are robing them of the opportunity of being THAT for someone else.

Being that life is what it is, I would be willing to be with someone who loves me more than I would ever get to love them, but that's only because I've experienced the opposite. In retrospect (and therapy), I realize that I pushed and proposed every forward movement of my past relationship, so I didn't get to assess if he actually wanted to be with be at any other level than just f*cking around, spending time together, but at a standstill (as in something to not ever evolve past that). We got along great, we accepted who we were, had many great times, and all that good stuff, but it meant that he would go along with anything I wanted for the sheer fact that he didn't want me to leave him (thus lose all benefits). So instead of going along with it because he wanted the same, it was more like going along with it because he wouldn't want to do without me (and all it implies).

In relationships, you tend to want someone to want you and love you with the same or similar intensity as you do, but when it doesn't, it becomes obvious that you want different things from each other. Feelings become important because that is what pushes you to do all that you do in a relationship, not logic.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 134
Why is it so hard to change a profile pic ?
Posted: 1/22/2016 12:43:58 PM

I hardly ever have boyfriends. It's almost like 95% of men on the planet do not like me and to be honest I don't feel anything towards them either


Kind of answered your own question, didn't you?
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