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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 161
Why is it so hard to meet someone?Page 7 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

(the reason I had to hide my profile, So wondering how YOU saw it)


I believe that is because that even if your profile is hidden from the masses on the dating side, forumites can view it by clicking on the link here in the forums.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 162
view profile
History
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:59:10 PM
Not everyone living with a parent is doing it because they are a loser.

Elder care usually falls on one child... Typically a female. I candate around mom... Not really in the mood to anyway... But. Parents get older need help and are scared to bee alone.

You gotta stick wit them.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 163
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/24/2016 12:26:36 AM
It is?????? Hard to meet someone?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 164
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:10:15 AM
well, its difficult to meet someone hot who isn't cruising thru life on their looks. People who are beautiful in and out tend to be...already taken.
 MyFeetHurt
Joined: 2/22/2016
Msg: 165
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:17:03 AM

well, its difficult to meet someone hot who isn't cruising thru life on their looks. People who are beautiful in and out tend to be...already taken.

You manifest what you believe; if this is what you believe then this may be the reason why you are not getting the results you want.

And why does the word(s) hot & beautiful come into the equation? What about cute, sweet, smart & nice?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 166
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:20:19 AM

It's not hard to line up dates if you will meet just anyone.....I use to do this.


When they're lined up, are they holding placards with serial numbers on them? Do you then say "I choose number 63582"?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 167
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 8:54:22 AM
well, its difficult to meet someone hot who isn't cruising thru life on their looks. People who are beautiful in and out tend to be...already taken.

---

This belief is so flawed in so many ways. First off, many really beautiful people have tons of options and probably enjoy meeting new people. They don't feel desperate to be in a relationship and they probably also don't put up with certain people. If they are beautiful "on the inside" (whatever that means), they are probably content on their own and don't need another person to "make them whole".

If someone is desperate and has few dating options, they might just cling to the first person who fits the bill at least half-way, because they might worry that they won't meet anybody else or better, or because it's so hard to get dates, so best just lock that person in. Personally, if I had been desperate enough to have a relationship, I could have been in one by now. I would have "settled" with someone who wasn't a great match for me, but I'm OK being single and wait for someone who is the best possible match for me. There is nothing wrong with that mindset at all.
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 168
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 9:40:43 AM
I loathe narcissism, but I approve of vanity.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 169
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 9:55:04 AM
it seems that the number of people on POF who believe they are extremely gorgeous and/or fit and/or appear

"much younger than their actual age"

..greatly exceeds the number for whom any of those things are actually true.

though that applies in general life as well
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 170
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 1:21:36 PM

they are extremely gorgeous and/or fit and/or appear


Hey speak for yourself. I know with 100 percent certainty that I am better looking than an angry, chupacabra getting ready to take a dump.

Comprende hombre??!!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 171
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 8:16:45 PM

First off, many really beautiful people have tons of options and probably enjoy meeting new people. They don't feel desperate to be in a relationship and they probably also don't put up with certain people.


Yeah, the "certain" people they don't put up with are most likely those who don't share their own inflated opinion of themselves.




If they are beautiful "on the inside" (whatever that means),


Some thoughts on whatever that means:

Outer beauty is a gift. Inner beauty is an accomplishment. -- Randi G. Fine

Something with inner beauty will live forever, like the scent of a rose. -- Alex Flinn

Focus on your inner beauty. Outer beauty will draw people to you, inner beauty will keep them in your presence. -- Robert Overstreet

Outer beauty turns the head, but inner beauty turns the heart. -- Helen J. Russell

If people were more concerned with how they looked on the inside, than on the outside, the world would be a nicer place to exist. -- David Walsh



Inner beauty means having many more positive inner, non-physical qualities than negative ones.- FullMoonGuy
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 172
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History
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 2/26/2016 11:22:48 PM
"So hard" is the words I want to hear from her...
 rudolpho123
Joined: 3/1/2016
Msg: 173
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/11/2016 5:38:42 PM

I know that everyone says its hard for them to meet someone, but for me it's looking impossible.
I hardly ever have boyfriends. It's almost like 95% of men on the planet do not like me and to be honest I don't feel anything towards them either
I feel like I cannot relate to them. And I don't know why they don't like me. I guess I'm just not pretty enough by their standards but I'm over caring about that . What I want is a guy I can talk to, and I can never meet a guy who can have a good conversation, likes what I like, or likes to do anything other than sex.

I just feel like there is nobody out there for me and I will probably just die alone. I could possibly live for 40 more years, it's going to be so boring all by myself. But that's all my life ever is. Utter loneliness.
It sucks because I can make friends easily but the only guys who like me are ones i have nothing in common with and don't feel any attraction towards. *beats head against the wall*
********************************
Does anyone else go through this, too?
************************************


Yes. I've been going through it for a few decades now.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 174
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History
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/11/2016 11:23:37 PM
I hear that really gorgeous women are often so intimidating that they cant get dates for fear of rejection. I don't know anyone who can really coast through life on their looks though. There may be more options open to them but they still have to prove themselves in life, eventually.

As for feeling that life is boring without a partner, there are so many options to keep you interested in life and as they say the "only the boring are bored".
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 175
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/12/2016 5:35:09 AM
So IG your frequent comments about not being a very good looking guy were always really about fishing for compliments, as you believe you really are a good looking dude? Relish all the. "Oh no, don't worry, you're a great looking guy" comments? Lol :) Transparent. .
 Aprilovesrosasblancas
Joined: 2/24/2016
Msg: 177
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/12/2016 12:40:10 PM

almost like 95% of men on the planet do not like me and to be honest I don't feel anything towards them either....... And I don't know why they don't like me. I guess I'm just not pretty enough by their standards


You seem to be a beautiful woman who takes care of your body, therefore, the problem is not because of your physical appearance.
And about not feeling anything for them either. Well, sometimes the negative or positive emotions are reflected in our face and body.
Without realizing it, perhaps you are projecting this negative feeling, and the men have noticed it.?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 178
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/12/2016 3:31:13 PM
"Many really beautiful people..probably don't put up with certain people....and are probably content on their own."

>>>which confirms my point--they aren't dating someone less than their standards, b/c they don't have to...eventually someone meeting their standards is going to come along and want to date them. so they can wait, rather than take a chance on someone who's personality is far better than their appearance. they can be just a friend with that person. and what's wrong with that?

Where I come from, beautiful people who want kids, still aren't single by age 40. They have less of a problem with a selection pool than the average looking people, even in a small town. Why wouldn't someone want them for a partner? Better odds are....better odds. Its like wondering why Bill Gates can accomplish what he accomplishes...duh, he has more options available. I'm not saying things are perfect, just that they are better, b/c that's how nature works. we are designed to procreate and help out the gene pool.

As for beautiful people not getting dates b/c everyone fears getting rejected if they tried, my mother told me that as a kid. She was a cheerleader and on the softball team, so I thought she had a logical point. But I asked out a ton of beautiful girls as a kid, and they all said, "thanks, but I already have a bf." I got to know a few b/c they liked my personality and...they weren't lying. They weren't going years without a relationship. if they wanted to be alone, they could be. when that got boring...someone was always willing to be with them, hang out after school, etc. oh, that person might not have been the coolest in the world, but the beautiful people who were alone...tended to be users who weren't beautiful on the inside. even their female friends were sick of their behavior.

it is nice to have more options, whether its beauty, or having money, or having connections in life. I've had beautiful people as friends, and I can say, their life isn't as bad as others if I make comparisons. Oh, they have problems, too, but certainly they didn't get teased as much as children, the toxic people normally found in life aren't so toxic with them (who wants to ruin their chance to get laid?), if they get a flat tire people are lining up to help, when they walk into an office at 4:45pm on a Friday to get a job done, they don't get sneered at as often as others, they actually don't have to prove themselves nearly as often (Scientific studies have shown teachers will give attractive students more breaks, employers will hire more attractive candidates, etc). i'm not saying their life is perfect, i'm saying they don't get as many of the "little things in life that get you down"...well, maybe until age strikes its evil ways :)

If someone isn't interested in most of the guys she meets, it could be very well likely they flirt with her and she...doesn't pick up on it. A lot of people don't notice in life the things they don't want to be looking for. why would they? life offers a lot of stimuli to go thru. April might have a point above...sometimes we telegraph our feelings without realizing it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 179
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/12/2016 4:44:56 PM
meanwhile, in another post, a woman posted an email she got....an email that many women said, is too cheesy, too canned, too *whatever* for them to have given that guy a chance. A guy none of them saw, so all they have to go by his the email. The woman who posted it, however, saw his photo, declared him very handsome...and she's giving him a chance. Was it ONLY his looks that convinced her he was worth taking a chance on? Maybe not, but let's not fool ourselves....plenty of other posts here suggest we'll overlook something in a person who has what we'd really like. Going on a date isn't the same as entering a relationship, but its a lot closer than not getting a response, and trying to somehow turn that into a relationship.

of course, when discussing "success in relationships", what's the measurement? Is a high quantity of low quality relationships a success? Is it a low quantity of high quality? If you meet and marry someone early and have kids, but get divorced....is that really a failure? to someone who couldn't get married, perhaps its not.
 ForeverTexas25
Joined: 1/18/2015
Msg: 180
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/13/2016 6:49:15 PM
I would say don't give up or get discouraged. I've found that many of the men on this site are good at conversation, and can be rather intriguing. I'm also surprised at how many good looking men there are on this site, usually it slim pickings, lol. Anyways, don't put too much pressure on yourself on finding a boyfriend, just start out as friends and take it slow. Also, I recommend going through your messages and only responding to those that you're attracted to, that way you already know there is mutual attraction there. Good luck!
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 181
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/13/2016 11:05:58 PM
"in another post, a woman posted an email she got....an email that many women said, is too cheesy, too canned, too *whatever* for them to have given that guy a chance. A guy none of them saw, so all they have to go by his the email. The woman who posted it, however, saw his photo, declared him very handsome...and she's giving him a chance."

But the other women did not say they would necessarily reject him... I'm sure plenty of dates are made on this site with very imperfect emails and profiles. If I got an email like that, I'd 1. be kinda touched, it's a cute email; 2. wonder if it's a mass email; 3. respond to the message with something more relaxed, probably a joke, to break the ice and try to see how he talks normally.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 182
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/14/2016 12:41:59 PM
Well, some said they wouldn't respond...which is a response, and its hard to get a date from someone who doesn't respond :) But i'll agree, there are likely relationships online and off that started off imperfect, like that TV show "how I met your mother" is I guess structured around. If things are meant to be..then they likely are going to happen. we can take a chance, a gamble, keep expectations low, meet publically the first time, and read all the signs.

of course, that's assuming one isn't buried in emails to take a chance on :)
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 183
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/14/2016 12:48:36 PM

So IG your frequent comments about not being a very good looking guy were always really about fishing for compliments, as you believe you really are a good looking dude? Relish all the. "Oh no, don't worry, you're a great looking guy" comments? Lol :) Transparent.


Ouch, dude. But no. I wasn't fishing for accolades or people telling me how good looking I may be. Personally, I have always thought of myself as NOT being good looking, but rather average. There has been moments in my life when I was in such incredible shape that I could pass as semi good looking, but most of the time I feel average. I also attributed my ability with the ladies more on my whit and attitude than something that has to do with how I look physically.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 184
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/14/2016 2:31:10 PM
OK, sorry then.. hard to tell sometimes, with some people
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 185
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/15/2016 12:07:30 PM
back in the days when Playboy had nudes, I remember interviews with bunnies and models who would claim they always thought of themselves as average, got picked on for being too skinny growing up,etc. Some of them, under that makeup, were average or slightly above in looks. I think too, they compared themselves to women who thought of themselves as God's gift, and thought, "my goodness, i'm not like that! I know my farts stink and I look like hell when I get out of bed...i'm average".

they couldn't understand why a boy might have a hard, er, difficult time talking to them. of course, the boy had an ulterior motive, one he didn't want to fail at. and that could be a curse for some of these ladies, who like my friends, wanted to be wanted for their personalities, not the looks they were born with and had no control over. They didn't want to just be "hot" because of their bodies, they wanted to be considered "Cool" because of their personalities.

of course, when I suggested they play down their looks...most looked at me like I was an idiot to suggest they pass up the easy opportunity :) hey, if ya got it, flaunt it, right? Like rich kids I went to school with, complaining they didn't know if their friends were real or just interested in hanging out in daddy's Jacuzzi. I'd say stop flaunting it, and they'd think I was the one who was dumb--better to have fake friends, than be alone and know for sure what people thought of you.

and, of course, there were the beautiful people who never thought of themselves as average :) it didn't matter if their poo stunk or not, no one acted like it did, and that worship was the only thing that mattered. they think they are God's gift b/c that's what they've been told all their life, and if someone doesn't care about the personality inside the body....good, b/c that personality isn't too beautiful, and deep down, they are uncomfortably aware of that. better to avoid that by focusing on what everyone else notices first.

sometimes we consciously search for accolades, sometimes subconsciously. If you are good at something, why shy away from it? its likely enjoyable to be good at it, and have an audience. but, yeah...some people who aren't enthused about their looks, likely do few photobombs :)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 186
Why is it so hard to meet someone?
Posted: 3/16/2016 9:12:47 PM
I've been reading these forums for a year and a half, and people talk about POF as if they were giving a used car dealership a review. Everyone wants less BS and more value for less money. A prettier, younger woman with a slimmer waist and a more agreeable personality, preferably one who goes dutch on first dates and thereafter pays for half (preferably more) of all dating expenses.

My best friend just joined POF last week... she's already hidden her profile because she gets upset when she starts talking to someone she likes and they vanish.

This site is exhausting to a sensitive person... After a while it's hard to keep taking this site seriously... but there are real people here, and they deserve to be taken seriously. My profile's hidden too... even though, as a poster in a neighboring thread put it, "I want to go back to having sex!"
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