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 michelinman2
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 26
DiasppointingPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I agree that the OP having sex with s random single man would be no big deal, who cares, yawn. However, don't admit to having sex with a married man and then complain that men ignore wonderful women like her. She's not wonderful. Sleeping with a married man show lack of character on her part. The married man is not really the topic here, IMO he's an azzhole, but that is not the topic.

We are all well aware that some married men AND women cheat. Not the topic.

I'm wondering , if your spouse cheated on you would your first response be "that's okay, I don't OWN you".
 mangopeach888
Joined: 7/15/2015
Msg: 27
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:23:51 AM
I did not go after this man who was in a relationship.. we were old friends who talked on the phone as such and it got out of hand... so he broke it off out of losing face with his family and friends and telling me that he was hating himself for having let it go too far... fine I could do nothing about it....

I seem to be getting attacked on here for the wrong reasons.. all I am saying is that maybe if I made my profile less straight laced and acted more like a whore then perhaps I would get replies... thanks for all your kind input..
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 28
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:37:44 AM

I seem to be getting attacked on here for the wrong reasons.. all I am saying is that maybe if I made my profile less straight laced and acted more like a whore then perhaps I would get replies... thanks for all your kind input..


Put a link to this thread in your profile and that should take care of it...
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 29
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:43:26 AM
OP: I read your profile. You strike me as being very lonely. It seems that there is the hole you are trying to fill...with a relationship.

I wonder if the real disappointment is in your life...

and somehow you think that a man will fill that void.

So....

you expect too much from random first meets (then blame men)

or

you settle for whatever crumbs you can get (the affair - then blame the man for ending it)

Perhaps you need to do some deeper reflection to figure out what you need and then figure out how to find it.

The equation is not a simple -" I'm lost, lonely and rudderless and if I find a man and give him what he wants then I will be balanced and life will have meaning and purpose. "
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 30
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:43:34 AM
"all I am saying is that maybe if I made my profile less straight laced and acted more like a whore then perhaps I would get replies..."


Goodness! Ms. Mango! I don't think you need to go to that extreme! I mean you ARE getting coffee dates so you must be getting replies.


Have a little patience and keep fishing. :)
 michelinman2
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 31
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:49:38 AM
You may not have gone after this married man OP, but you didn't say NO. Now you're posting in another thread about having a broken heart. Poor you. Just say no to married men. Seems easy enough, I'm sure everyone posting on here has said NO to dating a married person...probably more than once.

Your comment about "less straight laced and acted more like a whore" is a reach at best. Maybe if you were divorced and not separated you'd get more responses. Again, none of us going to be everyone's cup of tea. You're recently separated, many wouldn't touch that potential train wreck with a ten foot pole.

"Thanks for all your kind input."

Well, bless your heart.
((I learned that from Bamagirl)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 32
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:54:26 AM

I'm wondering , if your spouse cheated on you would your first response be "that's okay, I don't OWN you".


Well, it was many, many decades back, she did, I divorced her. Not because I owned her, but because I did not see the need to live with someone who screwed around.

Ever since, my personal policy has always been to get a woman out of my life if she screwed someone else other than me. Again, nothing to do with owning them, simply because there are a huge number of other women out there who will be happy to be with me and not screw around. Why waste time on one that is not happy and doesn't want to be with me?

If a woman wants to screw someone other than me, he/she can take over providing the benefits to her life that a relationship with me provides, and I can then focus my attention on someone else who is appreciative and values our relationship. Nothing at all complex there.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 33
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 11:27:14 AM
blackonyx...


That jalopy behind you may have a great engine and a smooth ride...but it's not a convertible corvette...is it.


Not everyone wants a corvette convertible.

MsMango...


I seem to be getting attacked on here for the wrong reasons.. all I am saying is that maybe if I made my profile less straight laced and acted more like a whore then perhaps I would get replies...


If that's the kind of fish you want, then use that lure.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 34
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 11:32:13 AM
^^^^^^

Sounds like the kind of fish she got last time.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 35
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 2:17:42 PM
A woman's looks are simply the first cut; personality, baggage and so on then come into consideration, the latter being just as important as her looks if not more so if I am looking at a woman as a possibility for a long term relationship. If I am looking for an intimate relationship, long or short, I will only consider a woman who snaps my shorts. Men vary. Some do not care much about what a woman looks like for a quickie or a one night stand. Others are more selective.

I imagine both men and woman want long term partners they find physically attractive.

p.s. Bitterness never wins a guy, OP.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 36
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 2:39:13 PM

Posted By:Michelinman2
However, don't admit to having sex with a married man and then complain that men ignore wonderful women like her. She's not wonderful. Sleeping with a married man show lack of character on her part. The married man is not really the topic here, IMO he's an azzhole, but that is not the topic.


Some people really jump to conclusions....
Where was it posted that the man in Question was married?

Yes the man was living with another Woman, but I don't where it was established that He was Married to Her.....

Also I disagree on Her BF, His GF..... Those terms as commonly used ARE Possessive....
 mangopeach888
Joined: 7/15/2015
Msg: 37
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 4:58:27 PM
The man in question and I had been friends years ago and met up again six months ago... he said he was in a relationship but made light of it as they did not sleep together and she led an independent life... he also made fun of her and complained about the woman constantly... anyway, over the months we built up a friendship and he was very supportive to me and helpful but we had to go out of town to have supper and such as he was afraid he would be seen and she would find out.... ok I went along with it... because I was falling for him and yes it was stupid... anyhow about a month ago the relationship turned to sleeping together and that is when he broke it off as he was ashamed of himself and could not face her or his family found out... so okay it was a mistake on both our parts...
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 38
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 5:02:13 PM
Women who enjoy success OLD are not WHORES Op. However I can see how those coffee meets aren't working in your favor if you accuse women of being less that stellar. You know - like women who bang men that live with another woman - then knuckle their eyes when he won't leave her.
Gosh - if only there was a word for THOSE women
 michelinman2
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 39
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 5:04:11 PM
^^^. I must apologize for the "married man" comment, the man in question was not screwing around on his wife...but, IMO, he was screwing around on his woman. I got lost in the moment over the question of ownership and possession and chattel and "another woman's man".

And yes, I agree BBE, I am possessive of what is mine - my children, my partner, my parents, my friends, my dog....if I love them I will protect them. If they choose to leave, they leave.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 40
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 5:26:29 PM
When I talk to someone who talks badly about the person they are with, I know that they are trying to cheat and think I'm that low classed and desperate, and also that is how they see other people and will see me and will talk the same about me. When someone presents themselves as a POS, you know what you are getting and so what does that say about what you are doing?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 41
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 6:45:17 PM

anyway, over the months we built up a friendship and he was very supportive to me and helpful but we had to go out of town to have supper and such as he was afraid he would be seen and she would find out...



anyhow about a month ago the relationship turned to sleeping together and that is when he broke it off as he was ashamed of himself and could not face her or his family found out...


Interesting.

For months he had to dine with you out of town, being afraid she would find out, but it wasn't until you were actually sleeping together that he became so "ashamed" that he had to break it off then, but not before you were sleeping together.

What a surprise.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 42
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 8:44:46 PM

The man in question and I had been friends years ago and met up again six months ago... he said he was in a relationship but made light of it as they did not sleep together and she led an independent life... he also made fun of her and complained about the woman constantly... anyway, over the months we built up a friendship and he was very supportive to me and helpful but we had to go out of town to have supper and such as he was afraid he would be seen and she would find out.... ok I went along with it... because I was falling for him and yes it was stupid... anyhow about a month ago the relationship turned to sleeping together and that is when he broke it off as he was ashamed of himself and could not face her or his family found out... so okay it was a mistake on both our parts...


Some friend you are. The fact that it was a stupid mistake on HIS part doesn't excuse the fact that YOU made a stupid mistake. You knew he had a S/O, and you chose to enter into a sexual relationship with him, anyway. What you did not only displayed a lack of character and morality on your part, but a lack of intellect as well---for being so gullible as to believe he'd leave her for you.

Is your self-esteem so low that all you can get is another woman's leftovers? It's no wonder the men you're meeting don't want to see you again. Men can smell desperation a mile away.
 LuvFishes
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 43
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 12:54:34 AM

Do men really determine a relationship on your looks... a quick coffee

In my time of dating, never have I had a drink/coffee meet. But both sexes can and do make quick judgements. It's not just guys.

With that said, throw your shoulders back and carry yourself with confidence and allure that you have. It might be you need to talk, chat more online before meeting. Re think about your choice of men, are you looking at them through rose color glasses, if yes then re adjust. I never am jump to meet and neither should you. It will happen, your wit, humor will serve you well. It's their loss.
 LuvFishes
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 44
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 1:08:49 AM

he said he was in a relationship but made light of it as they did not sleep together and she led an independent life...

Wow so that was a go ahead to sleep with the guy? What were you think! That alone would of turned me off. Because it shows poor judgement of him. What's to say he wouldn't do the same to you if you were in a REAL relationship.

he also made fun of her and complained about the woman constantly


OP how gullible can you be. YOU set yourself to be hurt, used, and YOU disrespected a relationship. YOU were willing to sneak around. Selfish, count it as a HORRIBLE LACK OF JUDGEMENT, call it a day and move on.
Don't be so desperate for a relationship, men know and can, may use it...
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 45
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 2:20:58 AM
She asked whether some men judge women on looks alone and in response she got psycho babble, attacked and "work on yourself" "look in the mirror" foolishness and hostility.

Geeze.

Some men do function only on looks. That is a fact. That is why some women have photos exposing their women parts. Some men only want looks to impress friends and family. Some want looks because that is only what they find valuable in a woman. Some want looks because it is like an accomplishment to them. Others still want Susie from 10th grade and look for that "look" when mating.

Then there are other men who feel that a smart, interesting, healthy, vibrant and/or kind woman is what they need, want and desire.

(There are some women who are the same)

And the "another thread bashing men" whine is ...well, a whine.

Hang in there, OP. I have some nice dates/ No one I want to move in with or change my life for but good company and fun.

( You need not settle for a married man. You also do not want to participate in hurting another woman in that way.)

A lot of women on here can't get a date.
YOU are getting coffee dates with a photo on POF showing a modest, kind woman.

Stay with that.
Apparently there is nothing wrong with your profile and it works.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs . . . Ha!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 46
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 9:41:25 AM

You have to kiss a lot of frogs . . . Ha!


You do realize that there ARE both female AND male frogs in nature, right?
 PerseidsShootingStar
Joined: 1/3/2016
Msg: 47
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 11:47:50 AM
I think both women and men do so. Some folks are just far more vain than others.

While it should not always be "dress to impress", it certainly would not hurt. I used to work in the SF Financial District - alot of men dressed like they were from the cover of GQ. The suit did not termine the man wearing it, but it did add to the appearance. I'm in Salinas CA now and there is nothing close to (men or women) being that manicured.

I've had some success on CL as well. I am however surprised at guys who pose without a shirt, etc. Never mind the other pictures...... There is something to be said for ettiquete. Bring a paper bag with you - two, incase his/hers falls off you can still wear yours.
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 11/29/2015
Msg: 48
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 12:52:39 PM
I do believe it is internet dating that has become disappointing over the years.

Where on earth do we meet new people with the same interests that are single? That in itself is the challenge as we age, which is why sites like this have become so popular. However they have made many of us lazy by not exploring other avenues available.

Get up, get out, and meet new people!
 NewGirlJoining
Joined: 1/17/2016
Msg: 49
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 6:56:15 PM

Do men really determine a relationship on your looks

YES! it's not the only thing they look at, but the FIRST thing...if they do not feel attraction they don't care how smart or nice you are.

Focus on the men who are ATTRACTED to you.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 50
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Diasppointing
Posted: 1/23/2016 8:40:15 PM
You should be yourself, not try to be. If you don't appeal to a guy for whatever reason, who cares? Are you interested in any of them, yourself???.

Being smart can be a challenge to some guys . Whether you are reasonably good looking or not is a matter of taste. Just for the sake of argument here. Attraction and chemistry is a mysterious thing and cant be predicted.

Don't let any of these experiences drag you down. Be glad they have not played you along just for the sex. You may after all be out of their league. Ever think of that??

I am far from "slim" but I am smart, and when I bothered to meet a few guys from online most of them wanted to see me again for whatever reason. I didn't bother with a second date with any of them as they just didn't appeal. Luck of the draw.

How would you feel if you met over 600 men and with no real luck?? Smart, intelligent, successful, buxom blonde with great legs and a wonderful personality notwithstanding...no names....



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