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 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 26
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual RelationsPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Promiscuity isn't gender specific, IMHO.

I do think SOME women are promiscuous until they meet what they perceive as Mr Foreva.

The whole pair-bonding aspect of mammalian behavior sounds very rational. Female coyness is an interesting aspect in mammals. Making males prove themselves better then their rivals.

Getting her physical needs met from the pool boy until Mr Security/Beta man shows up and provides the biggest nest she can attract.

Sadly, the whole pair bond disintegrates when Beta man can't perform as well as the pool boy.

Biology isn't very romantic :(

Also, I have a don't ask don't tell policy about the number of sexual partners. I like to keep things in the moment and avoid going down memory lane...
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 27
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 12:28:38 PM

Sadly, the whole pair bond disintegrates when Beta man can't perform as well as the pool boy.


I guess the moral of the story is that even when you are Mr security man, be the pool boy.

This is going to sound horrible, but there was a time in my life when after I pursued and courted women they would tell me that they were not "over" some dude. Or that they still had feelings for someone. Or that they were not ready for something.

Then I changed my approach, I just slept with them. And instead of hearing the above, then I began to hear, "I can't get you out of my head." "My friends warned me about you, but I somehow like the idea of the risk."

Sooo. Be the pool boy.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 28
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 12:51:12 PM
I don't know why numbers matter.
I wouldn't ask anyone.
I wouldn't answer truthfully to anyone who asked me.
I'd probably say eleventy seven thousand at last count or something
like that.

Unless he was really awful at it...I might say "jaysus, how many times
have you done this?"
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 29
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 1:06:31 PM
"People who get bent out of shape over the question are usually trying to hide something. They want their cake and eat it too."



some of us (probably most us)who get bent out of shape are flabbergasted that someone they barely know would ask them such an intimate question. If you ask a question for which you have to right to the answer, don't be surprised by the response.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 30
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History
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 1:27:40 PM

some of us (probably most us)who get bent out of shape are flabbergasted that someone they barely know would ask them such an intimate question. If you ask a question for which you have to right to the answer, don't be surprised by the response.


Who said I barely knew them. Also, they were interested in my history, too. I respect that. This is when we had known each other for a bit and were getting ready for a relationship. I always had great conversations. No one has ever been upset by it. I guess I have a great picker.

Why are you afraid to tell?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 31
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 1:35:12 PM

Why are you afraid to tell?


I'm not afraid to tell.
I just don't know why I have to.
Is that the secret? Everything about us should be public information,
or we're "afraid".
There are a lot of things people don't know about me...and probably
never will. It's not necessary information to the relationship, it doesn't
affect my ability to function and it's not anyone's business.

Why do you have to know? Does it help you form a positive opinion
of the person, or a negative one? Does it make you want to impress with
your abilities and not be rated as second best? Do you wonder how you
compare?

I can have great conversations about my sexual history, if someone is
really interested...but what does that have to do with numbers?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 32
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 1:49:13 PM
It is natural and normal for men as they age to seek out younger, fertile female partners. Those men who settled for older infertile women are not our ancestors. Those who sought out and reproduced with young, fertile women are.

---

Same is true for women - women who settled for old, weak men with inferior sperm and weren't strong enough to physically protect and provide for them and their offspring wouldn't survive. The evolutionary theory works b0th ways - men AND women prefer younger, fertile partners

The thing is, looking young and fertile can be "faked" by living healthy and taking care of oneself. Being physically fit and strong usually cannot be "faked" - that's why most football players and other athlete are considered old once they are in their 30s.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 33
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:01:13 PM

I'm not one to ask a woman's sexual history. I wouldn't get a truthful answer most of the time anyway.


How the heck would you know? You count the rings around her vagina? And why do you date women you consider liars?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 34
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:01:35 PM
And about the numbers - I don't remember a guy ever asking me that question. And I don't think I have ever asked a guy either. I know my ex husband got downright pissed when I started dating again (even though he had a girlfriend his age at the time). He flat out told me he could never get back with me because now that I was dating I would have more sex partners than he had. And it really, REALLY bugged him that I was dating younger men as well. He kept sending me nasty text messages about being a "pedophile" and "dating boys". Really struck a cord with him - I think men do feel threatened by women living out their sexuality and having an easy time getting sex.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 35
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History
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:46:28 PM

And it really, REALLY bugged him that I was dating younger men as well. He kept sending me nasty text messages about being a "pedophile" and "dating boys". Really struck a cord with him - I think men do feel threatened by women living out their sexuality and having an easy time getting sex.


My ex-wife took it all in stride when I started dating younger women. She expected it, even when she discovered the mother of a long time FOB I had was 10 years younger than her.

When I was a young man I gained valuable sexual experience with a few somewhat older women and discovered, as Ben Franklin had observed, 'that they were so grateful!'
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 36
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History
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:53:57 PM
As to sexual histories of women I have dated I have found that it comes out voluntarily, sooner or later with them. It has never been a big deal for me either way, at least for dating. For marriage it might be another matter entirely. I don't know.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 37
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 3:01:20 PM
Not something usually comes up - I guess I can ask my friends next Girls night out.. but
Who came up with this theory that Men say more and women less?
Wonder if there is some kind of chart.. you know
1 = near virgin
2=still close enough
25+= Pro

And for Men
1= finally
2=same woman twice does that count as 2?
25+=Pro
And what is the average? I mean for women - I kinda want to make sure I'm average :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 38
Gender Differencs in Purported Number of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 3:09:16 PM
I guess I can see lying to the gyn. Sex gets turned into a potential health issue in there. its like when the dentist asks how much you floss--anyone really tell the truth on that one?

back in the school days, I got to know a few tomgirls who didn't mind keeping up with the boys as far as confession was concerned. They weren't showing off, they were the new age of "being honest and upfront and not being afraid to be a woman". One who considered me a best friend and who had me as a fling after dumping her bf was once asked straight out how many she had sex with, so she started making the list...and didn't count me.

I teased her about it once we were alone, and she set me straight--I wasn't a bf, I was a fling. I was a "get over" lover. Those guys didn't count. I would mention it to other women I would meet later who were sexually confident, comfortable in their number of relationships, always seemed to find a bf, "serial monogamists", however you want to phrase it...and they agreed with the sentiment. Flings, short terms, "get you thru the holidays", et cetera didn't count b/c a connection wasn't made. they were just fun.

Perhaps our "Count" depends upon our goal in relationships. some of us view sex differently than others. Wheegee, loved your chart above, and from what I remember, the average number of relationships is 8 over a lifetime.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 39
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:09:57 PM
My ex-wife took it all in stride when I started dating younger women. She expected it, even when she discovered the mother of a long time FOB I had was 10 years younger than her.

---

Women don't care how old other women are, but men don't like it when women date younger men, it's an ego thing. I don't know about the "grateful" thing - it's actually the guys who are "grateful" if I decide to have sex with them. My girlfriends report the same. We turn down more men for sex than I we actually have sex with eventually. We may be older, but sure as heck not desperate or "grateful" for any crumbs thrown our way.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 40
Gender Differencs in Purported Number of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:11:07 PM
Well I think you have to count anyone you have had sex with - a fling still counts.
8? Hmm, I thought the number would be higher.
I mean I don't wanna be Below average//
well unless average looks like Vin Diesel :p
 scm600
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 41
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:15:32 PM
SunshineGirl;

Re; How the heck would you know? You count the rings around her vagina? And why do you date women you consider liars?

How would I know? Let me count the ways....
1) All my life, most of my friends have been female. I get the inside scoop from them. Including some, but not all, of their histories. And it's not the one they've told their significant others.
2) Liars? Yes, probably. But haven't you read some of the previous posts? Divide or multiply by 3 depending on gender? Why didn't you take exception to them? Just curious.
3)When I was younger and running around quite a bit, I socialized with quite a few different groups. And I was considered a 'keeper'. In our 20's early 30's, someone with a business and owned property was a 'catch'. I'm not saying I was, they did. So, a lot of women would change their history to make themselves more desirable for the long run. How do I know? Read #1
4) And what are the chances of 80% of the women that I've met having almost the exact same sexual history? In that case, who are the guys screwing?

Why do I date women who I think are lying about this subject? Because I would be very lonely if I didn't! I don't consider it to be a significant lie if it's old history. Their present behavior and recent history? A lie in that department will get them dumped in a hurry.

And I'm still curious, why did you take such exception to my post and not the others? None of my female friends have ever been offended when I've said that. At least not for long... LOL
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 42
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:26:32 PM

it's actually the guys who are "grateful" if I decide to have sex with them


Interesting perspective. Perhaps there is a "need" to be grateful when you're involved with someone who apparently is doing you a favor by doing you? I would venture to guess that any man who is grateful doesn't have much going for him in the first place. jmho
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 43
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:32:47 PM

Interesting perspective. Perhaps there is a "need" to be grateful when you're involved with someone who apparently is doing you a favor by doing you? I would venture to guess that any man who is grateful doesn't have much going for him in the first place. jmho


And here we go again - Likestodance makes condescending remarks about how older women are "grateful" if any man will have sex with them, but when I dare say that my experience was the other way around, I get a snarky remark. Double standard at its finest again.
 seadog242
Joined: 1/29/2016
Msg: 44
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:33:52 PM
"Grateful". That's funny. Grateful. I do know that some guys will bang whatever is warm just because they are too lazy to jerk off. So I guess that is where "grateful" comes into play.

Actually ^^^ you and Likestodance have a lot in common.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 45
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:44:49 PM
Grateful... Hmmm... I reckon if I were to get any action at this stage, I'd likely send the guy a thank-you card. Nothing wrong with manners.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 46
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:45:40 PM

And here we go again - Likestodance makes condescending remarks about how older women are "grateful" if any man will have sex with them, but when I dare say that my experience was the other way around, I get a snarky remark. Double standard at its finest again.


I wasn't aware the other poster made that comment, at least not on this page. If he did...well he was wrong also. Doesn't alter what I think about anyone who suggests that someone they're having sex with should be "grateful" because they had sex with them. Certainly makes it appear your opinion of those you sleep with isn't much.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 47
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 5:49:38 PM
Lmao! I am gonna one up you Ms. Baby and send flowers along with that card! :D
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 48
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 6:06:45 PM
I don't. I'm 53yo and, to the best of my recollection, my number is about 12 +/-. Not very impressive.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 49
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 6:26:39 PM

it's actually the guys who are "grateful" if I decide to have sex with them.


I'm guessing they were grateful because they were wearing earplugs during that time after your "decision".

Just a guess though.


The only thing I remember after getting some yum yums, was waking up.

I love naps.

Old shiats do that.

A lot.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 50
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History
Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 6:50:24 PM
At this stage in my life, a man's ancient history is not really all that important to me. It is not even a blip on the screen.
Likewise, he very likely does not care about my college boyfriend from decades ago, my ex-husband, or anyone else.
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