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 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 50
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Gender ifferencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual RelationsPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
At this stage in my life, a man's ancient history is not really all that important to me. It is not even a blip on the screen.
Likewise, he very likely does not care about my college boyfriend from decades ago, my ex-husband, or anyone else.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 51
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 6:53:17 PM

It is natural and normal for men as they age to seek out younger, fertile female partners. Those men who settled for older infertile women are not our ancestors. Those who sought out and reproduced with young, fertile women are.


like2dance, we are the same age.

What would your opinion be about fathering a child at your age? I have been thinking about what it would entail, so I was interested in your opinion.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 52
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 7:21:45 PM
whatsamatta:
^ I hadn't thought about that before, the part about offspring. But then why haven't men evolved to only be driven to reproduce with one woman? Wouldn't offspring have a better chance of survival (evolutionarily speaking) if their father was only THEIR father?


Nope. Offspring require support and protection. As long as they get that, the fact that one or both parents are messing around with other people wont damage their chances significantly.

Something else to consider: there are cultural reasons why more men ADMIT to playing around, and that more women CLAIM that they don't. Whenever "studies" are conducted, the people doing the studies have to make a guess about how many people are lying to them.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 53
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 7:59:03 PM
I remember a little odd factoid. When a baby is born, the mother's family will make more comments about how much the baby looks like the husband.
 seadog242
Joined: 1/29/2016
Msg: 54
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 8:14:23 PM
Odd how that is. Just once it would be cool to say "cute kid, looks just like the milk man". It's hard enough trying to say something nice when the kid is a little on the homely side, they don't all look cute like the Gerber baby.

For all you pretend you're Helen Fishers out there, what draws us when we are past the biological clock stage? What draws the 75 year old man to the 75 year old woman and vice versa? When the healthy hip ratio is no longer in effect or the size of the pupils or any other "fact that attracts" has no bearing as we aren't procreating.

And at what age does "how many have you slept with" just mean jack shyt? I think the generation coming up, those in their 20s have a "who cares" attitude about it all and rightly so. Only fools, idiots and the insecure would worry about a number.
 Canandaigua_Momma
Joined: 12/16/2015
Msg: 55
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/4/2016 8:53:20 PM
TO: Seadog242

Agreed that overall numbers don't matter, especially when one is a full-on adult compared to a callow youth.
By example, a 20 y.o. kid who has been with 20 partners differs from a 70 y.o. man or woman who has had 20 partners.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 56
Gender Differencs in Purported Number of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 6:06:21 AM
I hadn't given much consideration to Franklin's claim that ladies his age were grateful...considering the situation for ladies his age, back in his day, there might be reason to be grateful an inventor, publisher, ambassador and politician thought they were worthy of the attention he used to give to younger French tarts?
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 57
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 9:43:52 AM

like2dance, we are the same age.

What would your opinion be about fathering a child at your age? I have been thinking about what it would entail, so I was interested in your opinion.


Well, if a man is healthy, comes from long lived parents, has a solid marriage, his wife wants a child and they are both open to what it will take to properly raise the child he might consider it. Dragon, you are 55, a bit younger than me. At 55 I did consider it with the woman I was dating and we were both open to it should we marry, which we did not.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 58
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 9:56:45 AM
like2dance.
Well, if a man is healthy, comes from long lived parents, has a solid marriage, his wife wants a child and they are both open to what it will take to properly raise the child he might consider it. Dragon, you are 55, a bit younger than me. At 55 I did consider it with the woman I was dating and we were both open to it should we marry, which we did not.


Actually, I am 63, I put in 55 because there were some forum folks I wanted to be able to contact and I don't use the profile for dating. So my real age isn't important most of the time. I explained that in my profile text, but I know many won't read it.

So like I said, we are the same age.

My mother is 88, my father died at about 88, but he was a life long smoker which affected his lungs and heart. I am probably good to go up to 88, but after that it all depends.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 59
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Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 10:03:17 AM
Frankin's observation about older women being grateful was the last item (#8) in a list of reasons he wrote in 1745 in a letter to a young man as to why he should choose an older woman as mistress rather than a young one. At the very end of the letter he admonished the young man to marry rather than get a mistress.

Franklin was a kick. He wrote an essay entitled "Fart Proudly" and some other rather socially risqué treatises.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 60
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 12:35:32 PM

If women have a sex drive and don't suppress is, they are whores, sluts, easy, and no man wants to have "used up goods".

If women want a good provider, they are "gold diggers".

If women date younger men they are "cougars" (or desperate, delusional, going to be used for sex only, etc.)

If women are older, they are "past their expiration date".


Negative generalizations based on gender work both ways. If a younger man is interested in older women, some women will think he is immature punk just looking for sex or a mommy figure. If older man dates a younger woman, some women will think he is just looking for a trophy wife. If a man has sex on the first date, then some women will think he is a player or just using her for sex. "Player" might be a positive connotation for some men. But it is a general negative one for women. Just look at the amount of the profiles that state "No players" or something similar to that.

To answer the question, I never asked a woman that question. There is no guarantee I would give a honest answer. Plus even if I did, I usually don't make judgments about someone strictly based on the amount of sexual partners.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 61
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 12:45:23 PM
Typo in previous post. Corrections below.

To answer the question, I never asked a woman that question. There is no guarantee I would get a honest answer. Plus even if I did, I usually don't make assessments about someone strictly based on the amount of sexual partners.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 62
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/5/2016 4:54:11 PM
Personally, I get tired of the transparency of a much younger woman wanting to get with me/USE me just for the sake of sampling an older, experienced man. Sure, they look and feel good , but I want a WOMAN that I can relate to, on the same wavelength.....For me...it's NOT just about getting laid....unlike some cougars here who apparently still have some growing up to do
 Kelley1996
Joined: 3/23/2015
Msg: 63
Gender Differencs in Purported Numbee of Sexual Relations
Posted: 2/29/2016 7:35:48 PM
Assuming an equal number of men and women, the average number of opposite sex partners for men and women are identical. It is not possible to be otherwise. Regardless, per the Center for Disease Control shows: Median number of opposite-sex partners in lifetime among men and women aged 25-44 years of age ...2011-2013: Men 6.6; Women 4.3.
See http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlifetime [I am not certain links are allowed so if it doesn't show, Google Center for disease control number of sex partners.]

Since that difference is impossible, either the men or lying, the women are lying, or they are both lying. In any event, it does give some credence to men exaggerating and women the opposite.
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