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 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 51
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
OP: Would you still be interested in her if she was Miss Average, with an average IQ-with the same issues she currently has? It seems like her Mensa level IQ is all she has going for her. Are you looking for a fix-it-up project?
 Wyattlover101
Joined: 2/12/2015
Msg: 52
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/11/2016 5:51:58 PM
haha you're absolutely right, my IQ is probably below average.
I'm not necessarily saying that porn is the underlying cause, but it certainly is a factor. Other posters
have proposed some interesting ideas. I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not sure how her rape history would play a role, but I'm sure it does. I think my attraction to her lately is starting to dwindle down. She told me she can be clingly, so I'm probably going to slowly back out or try to be just friends with her. I'll give it a couple more weeks and feel it out and try to make sense of it. I am attracted to her, but I think I was in more awe about her IQ, which isn't a legitimate reason to want to pursue someone. I think I'll revert back to dating cougars that look like KJ521 ;)
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 53
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Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 1:29:04 PM
IF you are not that smart, with a high IQ and tons of interesting stuff to say, just leave her be.
I'm basically just like her... and she will get bored. She might try to date you for several years, especially if you are 'good on paper' (i.e. kind, hold doors, well mannered, good lay, hard worker)...
but, if you can't stimulate her mind she'll start nit picking.
or she could get way attached and go psycho on you.
Just my advice... I've done both in the past. I'm mature enough to wait around for the right guy now instead of hopping from 'hopeful man' to 'hopeful relationship'. And, I've finally learned to understand the difference between sexual compatibility and a good relationship.
I know what I am, what I want, and what it's going to take to make a long relationship.. so I have enough sense to wait for the right guy.

Also, when you have a high IQ your brain just isn't wired the same. We have mental disorders... it's part of the package. Therapy can help, but... idk. It's really hard for us to adapt to the norms of society.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 54
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Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 1:35:44 PM
also. break it off. don't just ignore her...
it's best to be honest and upfront with autistics/aspies. we don't take hints and we don't handle "disappearing" well.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 55
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 2:14:23 PM
Ah, the burdens of "genius" seem to be no less than the burdens of "extreme beauty".. And in both cases far more people " believe " they are so afflicted than the reality.?

VVV

Ah, so sorry Baby..my condolences! :)

VV..
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 56
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 2:34:07 PM
^ Right? I have both afflictions - my world is hell D:
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 57
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Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 3:04:25 PM
I'm beautiful and smart... my pics aren't the best, but in person I'm pretty damn hot.

I'm just saying from an Aspie point of view, we don't fit in... probably never will. I know I've tried to make it work with people that either weren't that smart or didn't have a lot of skill and it never did last.

I can be intrigued by their abilities, but in the long run, I got bored. I'm not good at reading signals, I sound rude when I'm trying to be sincere, etc. I am not an elitist that only wants to date smart people, I just want something to be there after the orgasm buzz wears off... I've dated extremely intelligent men that couldn't read, and I've dated educated men that were too narrow minded to relate to my open nature.

He is the one who said he had a low IQ, and I was just giving him some advice.

Opposites attract, but do not last. And, aspies in general fall in love hard and don't take change very well. It's just different when you are a really intense person.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 58
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Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/14/2016 3:06:48 PM
In fact, I would go as far to say that aspies should really only date other aspies. Then you can laugh about the world together. Otherwise... it's just embarrassing to the NT partner. People are often attracted to my mind and body, but once you are with me for awhile and realize my quirkiness is not an act, they get turned off.
Two weeks in he should probably just back away. He might like the challenge, but someone's going to end up hurt.

Then there's that thing where men are THREATENED by your talent, and you always have them trying to one-up you or trying to put you down for something... make you feel like shyt about yourself because they are jealous. I'm telling you, it isn't easy... and I'm not asking for sympathy, just telling the truth. I'm okay with who I am... and the right guy will be here when he's supposed to be.
 Maggie5858
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 59
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/15/2016 5:12:48 PM
I recently ended a relationship with a guy who had Asperger's Sydrome. I don't think he knows he has it, but I would bet a million dollars he does. It is on the spectrum of autism and wasn't really explored until the 90's. They can be really loving people, but their quirks can be so frustrating. They try to fit in with neuro- typicals ( people with no label) but get very anxious, depressed, and then resentful.

My guy hated loud music, had really picky eating habits that most people would just roll their eyes, he did not like socializing with more than 4 people at a time. He had "obsessions" or fixations with certain activities he enjoyed. He was also rigid...he could not bend or go with the flow. And when he tried, he got all jammed up. They can also be immature for their age. It's like dealing with a kid. There are many books on the subject of Adults with Aspergers and also tons of articles online. A relationship can happen, you just have to know how to handle it. Good luck.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 60
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/15/2016 5:23:10 PM
Wyattlover101- 1 in 5 people has some type of mental illness.
Let that absorb for a moment.
There are people you know that are living with it and you don't know it.
Mental illness is one of the last taboos, the lepers of society and that is too bad.
It keeps people from admitting it and seeking help.
If you date, you are doing to meet someone with a mental illness, what type you won't know, unless they tell you.
Don't consider it a deal breaker right off.
No one wakes up one day and puts, "I want to be mentally ill" on their to do list.
It's something that people have NO control over, a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be controlled through therapy and/or medication.
I would only consider it a deal breaker if the person refused to address it and seek help, there is not shame in it, or at least I don't think there should be.
This is one that only YOU can decide.
There is a wealth of information available online and through self study to better help people understand mental illness.
Look into it and educate yourself.
If everyone would do that, people would stop being ashamed to admit they have one and get the help they need and I hope we see the day, very soon, when that happens.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 61
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/15/2016 9:22:30 PM

My guy hated loud music, had really picky eating habits that most people would just roll their eyes, he did not like socializing with more than 4 people at a time. He had "obsessions" or fixations with certain activities he enjoyed. He was also rigid...he could not bend or go with the flow. And when he tried, he got all jammed up.


That sounds like me, actually. And about half the people I know over the age of forty.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 62
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/16/2016 11:42:03 AM
Odd how so many (at least, self-declared) "geniuses" end up working for min. wage or on welfare..in institutions or jail..while the "dummies" earn the big bucks..what is the value in being a socially clumsy "self-declared "genius " ?

boost the ego? make you feel like you are "better than the rest" ?

and just because "SOME" "geniuses" also have mental illness does not imply the reverse causation..

"I'm mentally all fuct up so I must be a genius? " really ??
 kidreason29
Joined: 9/25/2015
Msg: 63
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/16/2016 12:30:31 PM

I've been on a couple dates with this girl in the past couple weeks. She seems very sweet and shy and at times exciting. On both dates we went to get drinks ( she doesn't drink) and I felt like there was chemistry. There were so many similarities between us in terms of our general outlook on life and the way we go about doing things. She's physically very attractive and she is also very intelligent. She showed me her Mensa membership card. Mensa is a high IQ society, members can only gain membership by taking an IQ test and your IQ has to be in the top two percent of the world population. I found this to be quite fascinating about her, but anyway at the end of the second date she told me that she has bipolar disorder, OCD, and autism. I didn't know what to think. I'm certainly not an expert when it comes to psychology, but I was very confused by the fact that someone with autism
could be very intelligent. In addition to that, she seemed to be much more normal than a majority of the women that I've dated in the past. I tried to think of one abnormal thing she did at all and I couldn't name one thing. She expressed herself very well and seemed to have very good social awareness. I told her that I didn't believe her, since she seemed so normal to me. But she told me a couple stories of things she did or reacted. For example, she told me there have been times when she cried
when people move her stuff and don't put it back in order. She understands it's completely irrational, but she said she can't help it. Later that night I did some research online and it turns out that many people who are very intelligent have psychological disorders like bipolar disorder , autism, schizophrenia etc. Has anyone here ever dated anyone with such psychological disorders? If so,
how did they go? Can you offer me advice? And if anyone has any of the psycholgical disorders that she has ( ocd, bipolar disorder and autism) can you enlighten me or offer me advice? Thank you very much for taking time out of your day to read this


bipolar disorder, OCD, and autism at the sametime? damn. but I doubt any IQ test can accurately measure intelligence. With enough dedication or OCD anyone could learn the test (how it measures) before and pass, I doubt they are gonna ask organic chemistry questions for example. The real high iq society should be the people who have multiple Ph.d's . I really doubt she's as smart as you think.

Unless you are comparing her to yourself in which you feel she is a 'genius' because you feel below average?
 Maggie5858
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 64
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/26/2016 11:52:16 AM
@whatsamattababy.....hmmmmm....I don't really care for very loud music either, but going to hear a band isn't out of the equation for you is it? I don't need to be dancing right near the speakers, though. LOL I agree with another poster on here that Aspies should date Aspies. It would just be easier to relate to someone who gets you. It's hard enough to tolerate someone's quirks,etc. But Aspies and NT's are like oil and water in my opinion. :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 65
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:39:45 PM

1 in 5 people has some type of mental illness.


And most of them are right here on POF.

Especially the delusions of grandeur.



Is that just the diagnosed ones, or does that include the undiagnosed?
 HereComesYourSun
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 66
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/26/2016 11:02:34 PM
Well my 2 cents is - of all the geniuses I know - all 3 of them - they are strange birds for sure. Something's a bit odd with them.

Tons of smart, their recall is scary accurate and they can comprehend logical
equations in a superior fashion as long as the logical equation has nothing to do with their own emotional life.
All of them excel at learning, but not necessarily in a school setting.
Their IQ is high but their EQ is not. Also their social skills are lacking. But somehow awkward fits them.

Totally cool people. They actually might change something.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 67
Dating a Genius with Psychological Disorders
Posted: 2/27/2016 12:36:47 AM

Totally cool people. They actually might change something.


yes, if they are young..18-ish , they might.

OTOH if they are 50 or older and still have not 'changed anything' it's likely never going to happen.

"wasted genius" is common..perhaps the lack of social skills makes it difficult to get anything done - once in a while that may require cooperating with other people..so..plenty of geniuses who live inside their heads and never really accomplish much of substance..
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