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 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 55
yeah, with amazing guysPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

You took his quote out of context. The entire quote was "It seems to me that an awful lot of women on POF are just here to see how much attention they can get, but they have no interest in dating, which is why most of them ignore your messages."


They have no interest...in him.

That doesn't make them shallow.



I don't think this applies to all women because most likely many of them simply weren't interested in him for whatever reason.


Indeed. And this is something that should have been explained earlier. (Back-pedaling is a pretty sleazy maneuver, BTW.)



But I think there are some women here that are just looking for an ego boost.


So what? There isn't anything wrong with somebody drawing some attention to themselves. If the men are willing to invest their time and interest in it, it's all good.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 56
yeah, with amazing guys
Posted: 2/19/2016 4:39:06 AM

Item 3, I have met (personally) 20 or 30 women from Ashley Madison. They were also very real.


Were you married at the time, and/or were the 20-30 women married?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 57
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 6:45:11 AM
Good stuff by tinkererofsorts. Guys should read it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 58
yeah, with amazing guys
Posted: 2/19/2016 7:14:05 AM

So what? There isn't anything wrong with somebody drawing some attention to themselves. If the men are willing to invest their time and interest in it, it's all good.


They are wasting other people's time. Sure I will move on I think they are doing that. But it isn't always obvious at the beginning.


Indeed. And this is something that should have been explained earlier.(Back-pedaling is a pretty sleazy maneuver, BTW.)


Huh? This was the first thing I mentioned after I quoted the entire sentence in context.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 59
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 7:18:56 AM
"I may be able to shed some light on this subject. I can assure you all they at least 99% of the super attractive girls on here are, in fact, real people. I go out with the hot ones frequently although what I deem "hot" may be ugly to the next guy. I'm writing about the thin, really attractive types that most guys go for. They are real but it's almost impossible to imagine the amount of attention the receive until you are around them in public places. It's astounding! I have female friends who I have known for 15+ years and I am out with them in bar settings, comedy clubs, beaches, etc. and I see them a couple of times per month. My reference for where we go out is Houston, TX which is a large city of 5 or more million folks. Let's say we all go out as a group to four different bars one night and we eat out at a restaurant. That's something we commonly do. Guys will walk up to the girls in our group while we are eating and hit on them. I'm not kidding! Houston is a big city so in the bars we visit in Midtown, Neartown, or Uptown are crowded places. In each bar there will be between 250 and 1,200 people inside. I kid you not, at least 100 guys will walk up and hit on these girls in each bar we visit. Just imagine if any of you had that much attention. You could be very picky and these girls are definitely that way. They get laid regularly and are actually pretty interesting women once you get to know them. They have cool hobbies and most stick to themselves just like the rest of us probably do. I'm telling you though...they get more attention than you can possibly even fathom. I can tell you all exactly what they look for in a guy...

They want a guy who is a few years older than they are because hey all need to be guided a bit in life. They want a guy who makes a decent amount of money. Not a rich guy but a guy who can provide for a household. Most of these attractive girls are extremely loyal so they will stick with the right guy that they choose. What they REALLY look for is someone who is adventurous. I'm a guy who likes to go on mini adventures, as I call them. I fly down to Mexico to celebrate The day of the dead, fly to Vegas for a weekend, fly to New York to see something on Broadway, drive to Louisiana to visit New Orleans, etc. I also scuba dive and all of that jazz but those things are more geared toward things I do for self fulfillment. The hot chicks don't care about me liking metal detecting or ghost hunting although they will tag along on occasion. So, basically they want to party and have fun a bit but once they settle into to a guy they become more low key. That's when they will want to go deep sea fishing with their boyfriend or do whatever else he is into. Usually they stay with a guy for a long time and most move on to marry the one they pick. Always keep in mind that they are the ones doing the picking so do the best you can with your peacock feathers on display and if you find a hot girl who likes you then they are just like any other female. They nag, get stomach aches, have dirty hair, etc. just like anyone else so don't ever think they are something special. Your brain is pushing hard to mate with them due to evolution so learn to override that part of your thinking and treat them as humans. They definitely respond to that. Oh and never put up with their shit! That's important as well. "

>>>thanks, tink, I've posted before that women like this exist, when talking about leagues. There are men and women who get the attention of a lot of the population, some beauty is not only in the eye of the beer-holder. If these people ever compare the amount of attention they get in life, to the amount others (don't) get, they can conclude its not a coincidence, that there is a reason for it.

Back at university I knew a lass who, after she walked away, some guy would walk up to me, ask for her name and number. Geez, dude, do I look like her gay brother? you think i'm not trying to get a date with her myself? :)

some of us simply aren't what the general population is looking for in a relationship. so us square pegs find fewer openings in a round opening world, that's all.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 60
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 9:09:20 AM
I can only speak for mysef - yes, I'm looking for a relationship, but I'm not desperate or hell-bent to be in one just to be in one. I have enough other things in my life that fulfill me and keep me busy, and I have no desire to find another husband. If I met someone totally awesome and it leads to marriage eventually, cool, but it's not my main focus. So I can "afford" to be picky. I just cancelled a date I had set for this Saturday with a very handsome Microsoft engineer guy who was willing to travel 60 miles to take me out to a nice restaurant and a movie. However, during the course of our online convo, he revealed a few things about himself that I didn't like, and I told him "no thanks". So maybe he will complain about women just being "teases", but they overlook their part in the equation. I wasn't desperate enough to ignore those things just for the sake of going out on a date which may have led to a relationship. I did in the past, but it never worked out the way I wanted it, so now I'm even more discriminating.
 tinkererofsorts
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 61
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 11:24:59 AM
You guys and gals are alright! Thanks for the warm welcome.

I have never read about these supposed rules of dating until I came to these forums a few days ago. This waiting to have sex thing, who pays for dates, etc. is all stuff that is unnecessary and only complicates things. I never think about any of that and simply do what comes natural to me. We are all just another animal in the kingdom and are preprogrammed to have all of this "dating" stuff figured out anyway. It boils down to two things for me and always works for whatever female I want to attract. Hot or not. Take a look at my profile and you can all see that what I'm doing there already sets me up for a win for half of what needs to be done in the mating game.

1. Females are nesters by instinct but a male must build the nest for the female to decotate, so to write. Females require direction from males and in my profile I am showing how I want to build my nest a certain way. It's going to have all sorts of things involved with it to attract a mate. All things that are individual to me and any female can walk by my electronic nest to see if the shiny things I placed in it are the shiny things she likes. If males are not clear and concise about how they build their nest in life then it confuses the female in our species. They may be attracted to us males but they need a nest too. If they don't see one that they want to place their pink foo foo stuff all over then they will move to he next nest. This nest is of course physical and metaphorical. The nest is your place to live and your ideas inside of your bean. Once the female decides she likes your nest she comes over looks at you for your genetics. This brings me to the second part which is what we condpsider the meeting phase here in Pofland.

2. This is very simple. A female will smell you and look you over. If your pheromones and physical features attract her then she will want to mate. That's where the genetic attraction comes into play. One of e biggest killers in an initial meet is a man who wears too much crap to cover up his natural scent. Women need to smell us to decide if we match their genes for the purposes of offspring. She also needs to be attracted to us physically which takes her about 5 seconds to figure out. It's all just that simple.

If males try to go against the grain with any of this then it creates frustration for both male and female. No one is forced to like anyone and they are like that due to our evolutionary instincts. Who cares if a female doesn't like you? Who cares if she doesn't like your nest of life? The ones who don't want you, or me, should be of no concern. They are definitely allowed to not like us. That's totally their right. Focusing on what we don't get does us no good so build your nest and make yourself look fit and healthy then some female will sit in your nest just long enough so you can say hi. She won't stay around forever so make sure your nest is something good to offer her. It doesn't have to be full of fancy things or lots of money. She may like your nest because you have lots of video games in it but remember that the nest you build is always going to attract specific types. Make sure what you are offering up is going to attract the type of female you want to be your mate. Always lead in any situation and females will follow.

These are just things I have thought about as of late and I'm not trying to comes across as a know it all. If something else works for you all then by all means do it another way than what I wrote about. This always works for me and keeps life nice and simple. I see a lot of frustrated people on here and there is no reason to be that way. Just think how cool it is to even have a place where we can potentially meet all of these folks we see here. It's actually really nice and convenient. One thing I will add though...if you aren't catching what you want then you aren't providing the correct bait. Hey we can't all get the super hot girls or guys which is totally cool. Just go get one that likes your nest and makes you happy.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 62
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 1:08:02 PM

Good stuff by tinkererofsorts. Guys should read it.


Seriously??
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 63
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 1:10:06 PM
^^^^ Uh. Sure.


So maybe he will complain about women just being "teases", but they overlook their part in the equation.


EXACTLY. A woman is labeled a tease, a time waster, a game player, attention seeker, etc., if she decides she isn’t interested. She could have been enraptured with her own idea of the guy at first, but somewhere along the way he expresses something she doesn’t like; done.

It’s as if they think once a woman expresses the least bit of interest in him (like saying “hi”) she is therefore obligated to make his fantasies come true. And of course if she doesn’t, he must denigrate her to salve his rejected eggshell boo boo ego.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 64
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 2:08:06 PM
"Females require direction from males"

>>I will disagree with that opinion. I've had attractive female friends get bugged by a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer, b/c he was taught women followed a man's lead. Heck, if that was true, a whole bunch more of us would be getting laid, and sexual assault might not even exist--'cause that's one heckuva forceful direction. What I will say from experience, however, is that ladies will be glad to follow anyone taking them where they wanted to go in the first place. a guy with a nice personality offering to go out for dinner? hey,why not...we men probably have a fun male friend we go out to dinner with, as well. but we ain't having sex with that guy, and neither is she if she isn't into him.

are all women looking for not only a physical nest, but an awesome life they can nest inside? not sure. I know some who do want to be inside a cool dude's life, so they don't have to create a cool existence for themselves. But, when they can't find a fellow...their retail therapy includes buying new clothes or things to put in their place or going on vacation somewhere interesting. they tend to build their own nest when a guy hasn't shown up in six months or more to build one for them.

how do smokers smell pheromones? from the amount of cologne they spray on, they can't even notice what's coming off their own skin an inch away. How about those with noses stuffed up from wintertime temps? how do pheromones work online? we seem to really pick with our eyes.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 2:46:33 PM

I will disagree with that opinion.


This isn't quite going out on a limb, is it?

The "direction" mumbo-jumbo may have been a mangled way of saying that a woman appreciates when a a man leads. I have yet to meet anyone who didn't appreciate the effort made in planning and executing a well thought-out time spent in the company of a woman, without losing sight of whatever it is that both can share with equal eagerness.

Tink's philosophy seems too mechanical to me, too "here's the simple and pat answer" to why men and women fall in love. So many variables involved, so many moving parts.

It was said before and should stand as the only variable that really matters. Both parties agree.

If anybody wants, I'll be happy to draw that up in contract form. The usual Forumite discounted fee applies.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 66
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 4:28:34 PM

Seriously??


Yeah, some people like armchair evo psych bullshit espoused from a fishing rod builder. It's in their genes or something.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 67
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 5:30:34 PM
"The "direction" mumbo-jumbo may have been a mangled way of saying that a woman appreciates when a a man leads. I have yet to meet anyone who didn't appreciate the effort made in planning and executing a well thought-out time spent in the company of a woman, without losing sight of whatever it is that both can share with equal eagerness. "

>>>I find that getting dating advice from good looking people is like asking someone with money how to solve a problem. in their lives, the solution tends to come easier to them, b/c they just have a lot more of the necessary tools right at hand. If someone likes my company, the plan doesn't matter. If they don't like me, a great plan doesn't matter. but if i'm keen at that person, i'd probably want to spend a wonderful time with them. but I might also find I like how things can be so spontaneous with them...we can go someplace, somehow find the interesting thing in town to do, and jump in without prep but with our ability to adapt, and team up together to make an experience we'll always talk about.

chromis can draw up the contracts, I only draw a blank :)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 68
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 9:10:14 PM

A woman is labeled a tease, a time waster, a game player, attention seeker, etc., if she decides she isn’t interested. She could have been enraptured with her own idea of the guy at first, but somewhere along the way he expresses something she doesn’t like; done.


Some women ( and men as well ) are time wasters. They are just looking for an email / text buddy. They will always answer your calls, texts, emails etc. But when you ask them out, they are suddenly always "busy" or they evade the question.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/19/2016 10:33:21 PM
TinkererOfSorts
It boils down to two things for me and always works for whatever female I want to attract.

Chromis can be of service if you want to patent this. Use the code FEMALES WILL FOLLOW for a discount on his fee.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 70
view profile
History
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2016 12:16:01 AM
Without trying very hard, I met two lady's from AFF about 10 years ago so I know that they're not all bots or catfishes.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 71
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2016 12:59:49 AM
Good for TEN years ago, "this is who we're looking for ID network" guy!
 Dinno76
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 72
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 2/25/2016 10:53:40 AM
I think he meant women in their 20s. They usually are not looking to be tied down in a relationship because they don't have to.
 SweetTSmilesNC
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 73
yeah, with amazing guys
Posted: 3/1/2016 6:30:02 PM
I couldn't have said it better myself. On this site, you have to wade through the insincere ones, the ones that simply live too far away and those that only want a trophy, not a real person who has lived life. Last one I was interested in, deleted me for no reason, but it's his loss, I'm a great woman with a lot to offer.
 LaFoux06
Joined: 12/30/2015
Msg: 74
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2016 12:30:58 PM
I was communicating with a woman somewhere in a small town in Texas . When I mentioned that I might come to meet her , she flatly said that she was not serious and she was on the dating sites just for ENTERTAINMENT purpose , just as some people are on Facebook .
Yes , you seems to see many of the same women , usually over 50 who have been on those sites for many years , and who are online quite frequently , even daily . So what is their game ?
Some women make very clinical and overly specific and impossible sets of conditions on their profile .
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/4/2016 3:55:58 PM
Op, your right! Many women are on here for the attention. The conclusion I've come to now after having online dated now for years, is that many women are liars. And if there's one thing more messed up than being a red faced liar, is that many of these women claim that men are liars. It's like their trying to defer guilt off of themselves and place it back on the people they misled and lied to. They complain in their profiles and have headline rants like: This sites pathetic, any honest men? Or, "Are their any normal men left"? I know some men are infact liars as well, but I now believe that some of those men are liars just because their sick of women's catty deceitful ways. You know the old expression, "what comes around goes around". I'm convinced that it's just a recreational pursuit of many women to delibaretley mislead men to see how much they can get away with. That I believe is just one reason. I think many women pull this crap to see what men are the most confident and able to stand their ground and not waiver in the face of their deceitful ways.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 76
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/5/2016 3:18:37 AM
I don't understand why it's big deal if somebody is online, seeking attention? You're here to draw attention to yourself so you appear attractive to those whom you want to attract.

If they are wasting your time, stop it right away, and find somebody who won't.

You're wasting your valuable time when you pursue people with whom you aren't compatible. Why not use that to pursue people interested in you?
 JaiNai2
Joined: 5/30/2015
Msg: 77
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/8/2016 8:39:53 AM
Not everyone on dating sites are looking for a relationship. I have been on sites for many years, off and on. I always let it be known that I am not looking for marriage. Whether a woman is "hot" or not, being here for years does not mean she is not finding what she's looking for. Because she is not responding to you does not mean she is not here for dating.
It means she is not interested in dating you.
 Dinno76
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 78
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/8/2016 12:14:39 PM
If they are looking just for attention then this is the place for it. Most women get at least 100 + messages a week from different men.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 80
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/12/2016 10:56:30 AM
^ Let me enlighten you, my friend. For every twenty messages a woman receives:

- Fifteen men have lied about their age. Nine of those are kids pretending to be in their forties, and six are much older men, also pretending to be in their forties.
- Eighteen of the twenty just want sex. One is frigid.
- Fourteen of the messages are "copy and paste". Ten of the messages are from four men who keep sending the same copy and paste message.
- Five of the messages come from overseas.
- One of the twenty is not described by any of the above. You respond to his message, but he gets distracted by a woman with photoshopped pictures. He tells you about it later, but you've lost interest.
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