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 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 81
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Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
You are somewhat right NWOK.

As an example, I have no pic up. I generally get at least 3 emails a day. They generally just say "Hi" or "Hey". I have stated on my profile that I am in a relationship and here for forums only. If I were on here looking for a relationship, I would make first contact. This is what I have always done. I have a low stupidity meter and have always approached guys first to save them from opening their mouths and brain falling out syndrome.
 jayfan
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 82
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/13/2016 6:52:29 AM
Message # 8 has it exactly right!!!!!!!
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 83
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 5:22:36 PM

- Fifteen men have lied about their age. Nine of those are kids pretending to be in their forties, and six are much older men, also pretending to be in their forties.


I've personally ONLY altered my age (and disclosed my actual age in my profile) to get age appropriate eyes on my profile (since only 45+ ladies look at late thirties guys apparently), but as I approach 40 I guess this is good news that I'll be in the desirable sweet spot. I thought it would be a hindrance once that '4' is in front... LOL!


- Eighteen of the twenty just want sex. One is frigid.


Almost all men* (outside asexuuals) want sex, gay men included. Some want sex AND a great woman to be a companion, love interest, mother of their respective children, etc. If you don't seek that out by actively reading profiles and messaging them, you put the onus of filtering on yourself. I don't understand why so many choose to sit and wait. OLD is a database. Start querying.

*as well as normal, well-adjusted women


- Fourteen of the messages are "copy and paste". Ten of the messages are from four men who keep sending the same copy and paste message.


Copypasta (particularly boilerplating) works, and it's almost ubiquitous. Simple as that. Read Dataclysm. At the worst, it's 90% as effective as completely personalized messages. For those online daters not sending out lots of messages, I don't think they understand the incredible time and energy sink that it is to send articulate, personalized messages to hundreds of people and get at or near zero replies. It's frustrating and often borderline depressing.


- Five of the messages come from overseas.


Your age demo puts you right in the target for overseas scammers. My mom gets them constantly. No different than the 'Russian teens that want to marry American men like me" in my Google spam filter daily. Welcome to the Internet, I guess you're new here.


- One of the twenty is not described by any of the above. You respond to his message, but he gets distracted by a woman with photoshopped pictures. He tells you about it later, but you've lost interest.


Obvious Photoshopping aside, I can't see what's so bad about working through the possibilities from what one can GLEAN as ideal, and then working outward. Granted, I hardly work off aesthetics alone, but for those who do, that's going to be their M.O. Plenty of women prioritize looks too, even over other shallow shit... At the end of the day, if I'm third down the proverbial totem pole, but my personality and chemistry click way beyond the first two guys when we finally meet, who cares? It's just waiting, and that's all that this online dating nonsense plays out as anyway. Who knows, maybe I'm too pragmatic for my own good.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 84
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 5:53:14 PM

Your age demo puts you right in the target for overseas scammers. My mom gets them constantly.


Thank-you for this, Dear.

It's high time I told you something: I AM your Mom. But you were so obnoxious from the moment you were born, I had to give you away :(
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 85
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 5:59:55 PM
^^^^^^^^
Well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 86
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 6:37:06 PM

It's high time I told you something: I AM your Mom. But you were so obnoxious from the moment you were born, I had to give you away :(


FINALLY, that explains the coarse facial hair. Somehow, I always suspected...
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 87
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 7:11:57 PM
20 messages a day? 140 a week?
Where?

Since 'wandering onto this site I have received 4 introductory emails (not from forum posters) - 1 was a scammer, 1 lived too far away, 1 simply faded away after the second email and 1 simply said 'hi'. Com'on guys, I need more than that and an near-empty 'ask me anything' profile. Though I did consider asking him the air speed velocity of a laden sparrow.

It's the dreaded F-word, isn't it?
Though I'm not sure if it was 'fat' or 'forums'.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 88
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 7:50:00 PM

Plenty Of Fish is, and always has been, an exercise in gray hat marketing. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if eventually someone hacked it,


It's already been hacked.....twice.

2011:

"Popular dating site PlentyofFish.com was hacked last week, exposing user information for thirty million users.

But accused hacker Chris Russo and Plenty of Fish CEO Markus Frind seem to be telling different versions of the tale, as they continue to exchange barbs over the mishap, in what is quickly becoming a byzantine tale that includes murder threats, extortion and hacking."

Source-Huffington Post

2015:

"Plenty of Fish dating website hack 'leaves thousands of members' bank accounts at risk'

20:52, 21 Aug 2015
Updated 21:15, 21 Aug 2015
By Anna Dubuis

Spying 'malware' is believed to have been secretly installed onto people's computers which can track every keystroke when someone accesses their bank accounts

666 shares
3 comments

Plenty of Fish Plenty of Fish (POF) Website
Warning: Users of Plenty of Fish have been told to be vigilant with their financial information

Security experts have warned that the bank accounts of thousands of users of Plenty of Fish could be compromised after hackers targeted the dating website.

Spying 'malware' is believed to have been secretly installed onto people's computers which can track every keystroke when someone accesses their bank accounts.

The hack could affect anyone who has visited the website in the last few days, they warn.

The malicious software is placed into computers by ordinary-looking adverts and is active whether or not the user clicks on the advert.

It then rests waiting for the person to start entering personal financial information.

The malware, called Tinba, is then activated when a person accesses their bank account online or enters their card details to buy something online."

Source-mirror.co.uk
 UnderStarrySkies
Joined: 8/20/2015
Msg: 89
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Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/18/2016 9:35:15 PM
I think the men aren't very serious either. I've been looking seriously for a VERY long time.

Here's what happens: The guy doesn't show up. Happens a lot. So I can ask, are the guys on here serious??

The guy shows up but seems totally disinterested.

The guy shows up and is obviously GAY. It has happened.

The guy shows up and isn't quite over his last flame.

The guy shows up but is such a train wreck financially, emotionally and every other way... and then he'll fully admit he shouldn't be on this dating site.

The guy shows up with NO money for the date- even for coffee.

So that is WHY a lot of us good looking or not, are still here.... it's not because we're all deficient.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 90
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2016 3:03:09 AM

The guy shows up but is such a train wreck financially, emotionally and every other way...


How would you know what a guy's financial situation is on a first meet?



The guy shows up with NO money for the date- even for coffee.


Isn't that what a lot of women do-expecting to get a free date?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 91
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2016 5:21:56 AM
well, if the lad is a financial and emotional train wreck and admits he shouldn't be dating...he likely told her TMI. But, if someone invites me somewhere, and pulls the "i forgot my wallet at home", I might be peeved too.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 92
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2016 11:43:25 AM


The guy shows up but seems totally disinterested.

The guy shows up and is obviously GAY. It has happened.

The guy shows up and isn't quite over his last flame.

The guy shows up but is such a train wreck financially, emotionally and every other way... and then he'll fully admit he shouldn't be on this dating site.

The guy shows up with NO money for the date- even for coffee.


Puhleeze. You could flip every one of these and say the same things about some women, EXCEPT that I have never encountered what I thought was a lesbian on a first date.

I also have no idea if the woman shows up with her wallet since I pay. They do offer to help and I've seen an attempt to fetch a wallet, but I've never seen actual cash or credit cards on a 1st date.

Now, as far as someone being interested in you? That's a 2 way street.

I will not ask her for a 2nd date if I can't think of 5 things a woman has asked me on a 1st date. Women can and should do the same.

When I first started dating there were many times I tried to figure out if there was interest. Now? I use the 5 question test.

Also, disucssing financial duress is a sure fire way to kill chemistry for this camper.

YMMV
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 93
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/19/2016 3:41:22 PM

I think the men aren't very serious either. I've been looking seriously for a VERY long time.


Why don't you just go to Blue Martini (a.k.a. Cougartown) and hit on guys or have the help harass guys for you (as they do)?
 SweetTSmilesNC
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 94
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/21/2016 6:46:27 PM
You're soooo very right.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 95
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/22/2016 8:34:58 AM

I have even changed my status to looking for friendship because no one seems to want a relationship,and I think the best relationships come from friendship.


You sound desperate to be in a relationship just for the sake of being a relationship, and that will turn a lot of guys off-guys who are looking for a relationship, but not with someone who is just looking for a warm body and a pulse. The friends first strategy doesn't usually work, because at what point does friends become more than friends, and how do you know if the guy will feel the same way at the same time? Are you going to set a schedule and time table when feelings must change? The friends first gig sounds too much like being on probation, which is a total buzz kill. Besides, guys don't go to dating sites to look for platonic friendships with women.

There are too many women who have the expectation that the first meet/date with a stranger from the internet must lead to an immediate serious relationship and marriage. Otherwise, they feel used if the guy isn't Prince Charming who sweeps her off of her feet. A lot of people don't get the concept that not everybody you meet in life would make a perfect relationship match that will lead to the live-happily-ever-after fairy tale fantasy world. You might have to date a number of people before finding The One who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with that person-the "You gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince" idea. People who view dating as a failure if it doesn't lead to the fantasy fairy tale love story instead of just being a part of life, probably explains why so many are so bitter, and blame the opposite gender for their bitterness. It's easier to blame and hate everybody else instead of looking in the mirror.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 96
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Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/22/2016 7:11:05 PM

Let me enlighten you, my friend. For every twenty messages a woman receives:

- Fifteen men have lied about their age. Nine of those are kids pretending to be in their forties, and six are much older men, also pretending to be in their forties.
- Eighteen of the twenty just want sex. One is frigid.
- Fourteen of the messages are "copy and paste". Ten of the messages are from four men who keep sending the same copy and paste message.
- Five of the messages come from overseas.
- One of the twenty is not described by any of the above. You respond to his message, but he gets distracted by a woman with photoshopped pictures. He tells you about it later, but you've lost interest.


Huh. Alright, I gotta fer 'instance for you-

All of the messages I've written have been crafted to be specific. I have never-
Inferred sex.
lied about my age.
Or anything else about myself.
I'm not married. Or attached in any way.
I'm clever enough to add something beyond "hi"

Right now, I'm pretty convinced that women on here, aren't looking for dates. Just attention.
What say you, scorekeeper?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 97
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/22/2016 7:19:39 PM

But why do people put looking for a relationship when they are not??? this is what I do not understand....


Because every article I have ever read about online dating advises men who are looking for women, to put "looking for a relationship" under intent- whether that is their real intent or not- in order to maximize their chances to get replies and messages from women. who are believed to be picky about that sort of thing.

And as an aside, a "relationship" can have many variations.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 98
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 3/22/2016 11:49:43 PM
Semantics. A wham bam is a relationship of sorts.
 BlondeApriLShowers
Joined: 4/28/2016
Msg: 99
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 5/2/2016 8:23:46 AM

It's also easier than ever to PROVE beyond any shadow of a doubt (on this or any other site) who one IS or IS NOT. The reason why ever fewer people are willing or wanting to is obvious.

Is it? Is there a group think of "let's obfuscate"?

I applaud you SLAFFA for being one of the few to point some things out.
 chongpeace
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 100
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 5/7/2016 8:09:55 PM
I am here looking for relationship. Actually I have been looking for relationship many years without result. I think it might be that I have unreal expectation, or might be I still do not know what I am looking for, or might be I am not attractive, :) or, might be I did not attract the right guy, etc. :)
 BlunderBoy30
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 101
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 5/8/2016 11:12:27 PM
Hi! I am not sure but it seems like the 1st post on this thread was a profile that was deleted? At least that is what some of the 1st posts have posted... I know there are a lot of people on here that use fake profiles and I have screen shots :-)
I suggest before going out on dates using been verified, life-lock, and Norton or McAffee if you plan on meeting up at the local coffee shop :-P
 kalasmontreal
Joined: 2/26/2016
Msg: 102
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 5/21/2016 4:20:54 PM
Not really, more like for hook ups
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 103
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 7/29/2016 1:04:16 PM

its hard to under stand how a women mind work,


Now THERE'S an understatement.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 104
Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 7/29/2016 5:59:30 PM
"its hard to under stand how a woman's mind work"

Nickelson has a suspicion:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmFMFzXN0js

:)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 105
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Are women on POF actually looking for a relationship?
Posted: 7/29/2016 8:50:39 PM
How does a woman's mind work?

You can be assured that as man, that you have no clue, and will never know. Like the rest of us men. You're allowed to ask them. Be prepared to get an answer that is as clear as mud. What attracts them? The wart on your nose, or the way you pronounce the word-

Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Certainly nothing that makes sense to the average male. It kinda make me wonder how we managed to survive as a species. Take a guess, any guess. Count on being wrong.
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