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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > "are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,"      Home login  
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 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 22
the meet you should beat feet in retreat from..b/c it won't be neatPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I was sort of seeing a guy and he suggested I meet one of his coworkers. We met and the meetup was a date from hell. He was either stoned or drunk or just plain nuts. He wanted to examine my arms for needle tracks in case I was a user. Then he excused himself, went to the rest room and could not find where we were seated; he stood at the front of the small restaurant and waited. Then he insisted he had picked me up at my house when I had driven myself to the small restaurant. Then he argued with the waitress over the bill. I paid. Gave the guy who set up this blind date hell. He replied "but we are all computer programmers with advanced degrees and the co worker who he set me up with is very nice and low key." Never again for blind dates!!
 FlipFlops4LIFE
Joined: 11/18/2015
Msg: 23
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/10/2016 2:41:41 PM
Hey Cooky,

We are the same age... I've had friends offer to set me up. But it always turns out to be NOT a match. People think just because I'm pushing 60, that Im a match with ANY man who is also pushing 60. No regard for interests, education level, relationship needs etc. Just the age thing.

I'll never say Yes again to a set up!
 BlackOnyx48
Joined: 1/7/2016
Msg: 24
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/10/2016 3:42:31 PM
^^^^^^^
Tell your mom ur dating me......
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 25
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/10/2016 4:50:25 PM
I'm reading A LOT of 'Never again' statements in here. Sorry to say, but that same flawed logic gets applied to any and ALL situations where one type of 'failure' has happened in dating. If someone gets a nasty date from an online website, decides the website is the reason, they declare "Never Again!" - And usually go to the next website that has 80% of the same customers on it!

Blind dates are NOT supposed to be a miracle match. Your friends are just trying to help out. Best thing you can do is DATE SMART. Talk to the guy beforehand, find out how he ticks - if he doesn't seem to be a criminal or otherwise 'toxic', try a date, and KEEP IT CASUAL. A lot of the 'hurt' comes from getting wound up with overblown expectations. Just meet the guy and have fun with it. Try NOT to be serious about it. - And never hold a grudge because YOU agreed to go blind.
 Nice7Girl1977
Joined: 12/26/2015
Msg: 26
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/10/2016 6:33:04 PM
Why don't you just go and meet that guy OP over something simple like a cup of coffee? How is meeting someone through your friend or a relative is different from meeting someone from a dating site? Every first date on this site is like a blind date. Some are great, some not so much, and some are plain terrible. If you don't like that guy you don't have to see him ever again. You don't really owe your friend any explanation if that date doesn't work out.

But yes, go see him. At least it will get you out of the house, lol.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 27
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/10/2016 6:50:53 PM
Flipflop --
That's it. "He's nice, you're nice -- I hope it works. " If that was all it took to be a match - most of us wouldn't be here. Not much attention paid to common interests, intelligence level, outgoing vs introvert, family values....

Swan_Spirit My stepmom has mentioned a few matches to me.
She is about 12 years older than me. After my dad passed away and she ventured into the dating world again, it was usually younger men sometime younger than me. One time, I was talking to her on the phone and she told me "I know this guy who would be perfect for you. I used to date him. He's short and funny, like you" Thanks, Mom LOL.... Sounded too Jerry Springer for me. WOMEN WHO DATE THEIR MOTHER'S EX BOY TOYS :)

I am sure our friends mean well when they play matchmaker. But as you can tell from some of the responses here, it usually doesn't work. Most people are not comfortable with it, including me

I guess the positive attitude to have is - say hello, have some coffee or lunch. You never know.
Mostly likely it will stop right there. Or - maybe could be a new friend.

He mentioned the last time we spoke about getting together soon. He works two jobs so it has not been set up yet, Time will tell if it actually takes place or perhaps he is just as hesitant. For all he knows - I am a crazy cat lady :)
 showboatsupreme
Joined: 1/25/2016
Msg: 28
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/12/2016 12:07:15 PM
I need to be setup with a bad woman asap!

Angela told me she had a friend she wanted me to meet.

Angela described her friend as a homeowner. Whadeva.

Meet Angela's friend. Angela's friend tells me that Angela described me as a Vette owner.

Me and Angela's friend both agreed that Angela was materialistic woman.

I knew the date would go nowhere when Angela's friend asked me...How come you and Angela didn't work out?

Note to self...never let a woman set me up...
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 29
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/12/2016 12:24:59 PM
I don't understand any of this. Wouldn't meeting someone through someone you both know be preferable to meeting a complete stranger about whom you know nothing, other than what they've told you?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 30
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/12/2016 7:33:19 PM
cookymaker- Normally, I'm not at all the passive/aggresive type, but if I were her I would have invited you both to something and just waited to see what happened.
Now that you know what she's up to, why not suggest that she invite you both to something where more people will be there and do just what I suggested and talk to him and see what happens.
You may be like me and hate the pressure of a set up, so a social setting, say a party or a cook out could be fun and then you don't have the pressure of a "date."
Years ago a friend of mine had just been through a hard divorce, I had another male friend who had also just been through one too.
No where in my mind did it occur to me to set these two up, they just seemed too different.
So, one night I take my friend out and guess who was just leaving, I rolled the window down and asked him to come in and have some drinks with us. He agreed and the next thing I know, the two of them are doing some major flirting. I could NOT believe it. They married and lasted 9 years, so you never know.
Meet him, go for it, why not? :)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/12/2016 9:01:54 PM
That's how my parents met.

Beyond that, I wouldn't know what being set up would be like.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 32
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/12/2016 9:44:17 PM
My older sister met her husband through a set up...
My cousin had a boyfriend and he brought his friend along one night to meet my sister. They were only 16 at the time. But he lived in the city and we were out on Long Island so the distance made it hard. They broke up and dated other people for about 7 years but always kept in touch. One year during a time when neither one of them were seeing anyone - they decided to see each other again Have been married for 35 years now. Sometimes it really does work.


Bamagrl
I would prefer the group setting with no pressure. Or for lack of a better word, be "sneaky". Tell him to come to lunch at work and run into me. Don't tell either one of us and see what happens. With your friends - you didn't think it would work and they surprised you.
 QuirkyTeacher
Joined: 12/24/2013
Msg: 33
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/20/2016 11:56:07 AM

Do you let friends set you up with people?


I've been divorced almost 3 years now, and no one has ever tried to set me up. I almost take it personally. I always see it on television. Sure, sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't, but wouldn't it be nice to know that someone thinks enough of you to feel you'd make a great match for someone else? I say give the guy a chance if you want or even if you don't want, but be happy that you have people in your life that think you're wonderful.
 Marry_Me_Monroe
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 34
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/20/2016 2:30:19 PM
My advice: always catch your own fish. They are fresher that way.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 35
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/21/2016 6:24:31 AM
I've been set up a couple different times and each time it was pretty much a disaster. There was pressure from my friends to "like" the guy and then of course when it didn't work between us it kind of put our mutual friends in a spot where they had to chose between us.

While I understand and appreciate my friends wanting me to be happy and loved, I really feel like people should find their own way to their soul mate. What they see as a great person, I likely will not hold that same opinion. What they see as a perfect romantic fit may not be my idea at all of a perfect fit.

For me it doesn't work and I've told my friends don't set me up anymore!

Do what you feel is right for you. Some people don't mind being set up. It's an avenue to meet other people you wouldn't normally meet.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 36
are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/21/2016 7:01:38 AM

Do you let friends set you up with people?


Short answer, no.

Why?

My list of "friends" can be counted on one hand, and with that, my "friends" know how completely phucked up I am, and that trying to "match" me up is a lesson in futility. There was that one close call though. Had something to do when visiting a friend's relative in the mental asylum.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 37
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/21/2016 6:36:22 PM

What they see as a great person, I likely will not hold that same opinion. What they see as a perfect romantic fit may not be my idea at all of a perfect fit.


That is usually what happens. It can put tension on a friendship. It isn't about thinking you are too good for someone or deserve better. It's just a matter of being too " different:" Some people don't get that when they play matchmaker and get offended when you don't see it as a "perfect fit"...
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 38
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are you seeing anyone? I know someone you should meet.,,
Posted: 2/21/2016 7:29:17 PM
If a woman who owns a home meets a guy who is renting a studio apartment, not likely to work out unless he is younger, really hot and she is happy to kind of keep him. lol!
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