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 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 76
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Beggars can't be choosers.


yawn

They all think they're the princess. (even the not so attractive ones) and they all think they deserve the beautiful hunk.

Since it's my life, my body, and my time, I'll make that decision for myself.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 77
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/7/2016 6:11:23 AM

I think online dating would go much more smoothly for everyone if it was mandatory to just have two photos, one portrait and one full height, by yourself without people or objects, and have a simple profile explaining who you are and who you're hoping to meet, period - and cut out the rest of the useless crap.


I think 2 pictures should be the minimum amount. One face shot and 1 full body shot that are relatively recent and accurate. The main photo should only include themselves. For the most part, I don't care what people do with their secondary pictures.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 78
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/7/2016 9:03:47 AM

When I state "looking for a relationship" it means I'm OPEN for something serious IF I find someone who is the entire package. If not, I'm happy to stay single until I find someone who is at least close to it. My preference would be to be in a relationship, but not badly enough to "settle".

And that fits the same mold as "Wants to Date but Nothing Serious", too. People peeking into the online dating world aren't going to want to jump into anything serious right off the bat, and aren't relationship-hunting. They're open for something serious, if found. They're not going to 'settle' for being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. So they find "Wants to date but nothing serious" VS "wants a relationship" as if they're relationship-hunting. I'm really criticizing POF, not you on this. It has too many interpretations for a 1-selection only. :)

When I read "wants to date but nothing serious" it means that this person is not looking for a relationship. Even if they were to meet the "perfect" person, they would not settle down for whatever reason.

Well, I understand your skepticism about guys selecting that, as you will find many guys not so keen on wanting to settle down, so you're understandably playing the odds. But, I will say that most people, if they're not on the rebound or in man/woman-hating mode -- if they select Wants to Date but nothing serious -- they will want to settle down with the perfect person, but are happy experiencing the dating scene (maybe too content with just that?), and aren't Looking for anything serious right now. But when meeting someone they Really like? You bet your arse they'll want to go steady if it shows through.

I think more wants-to-date-nothing-serious selectors are going to be sampler-platter types and are going to more often be too picky about settling down, statistically speaking. Many will select it though, just not having big Expectations about going out on a few dates with someone (but if it works, great!).
 B1tch_My_Feet_Hurt
Joined: 3/5/2016
Msg: 79
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/8/2016 10:26:41 PM
Just bec. a woman exists & a man looks at her w/ sexual desire doesn't mean she must acquiesce his desires!

How is THAT picky?

Maybe YOU are the prob. not all these women!
 Tiges62
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 80
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/9/2016 2:22:42 AM
Ahhh Karma and Last Hook.. You girls are women after my own heart.. THIS... is what it's all about
Since it's my life, my body, and my time, I'll make that decision for myself.
I've just got back into the dating scene and had my profile visible for about a week. I've had LOTS of messages and silly me has sent 'sorry you're not who I'm looking for" messages to every man who I'm not interested in... Now most guys are quite civil, but I've had the angry messages from the obese, obviously lying about their age, unkempt men who somehow think I would overlook all that because I'm online.. And then the guys who I might be interested in once I've sorted through them all, but who get pissed because I haven't replied quickly enough..(and they earn an instant block) Surprisingly I DON'T have an obligation to correspond with every guy who writes to me... It would actually be a full time job if I tried it.. Sooooo I sort out the ones who appeal to me and I correspond with them... Funny about that , how I would chose to chat to the men that actually interest me..
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 82
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/9/2016 5:37:04 AM
^^^^. Yanno, a whole thread was started by a young man about this very subject - rude responses back from women he had sent "thanks, but no thanks" messages to. He sort of found the same thing as you, the fat ones seemed to be rudest. He also wondered why the fat and unkempt would message him in the first place, he was fit and worked out daily. Thing is, he didn't have an obligation to respond either, he was just trying to be polite.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 83
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:00:50 AM
Cut the men some slack.

Be fussy about a relationship but not sex.

Thank you.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 84
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:25:00 AM

Yanno, a whole thread was started by a young man about this very subject - rude responses back from women he had sent "thanks, but no thanks" messages to. He sort of found the same thing as you, the fat ones seemed to be rudest. He also wondered why the fat and unkempt would message him in the first place, he was fit and worked out daily. Thing is, he didn't have an obligation to respond either, he was just trying to be polite.


But according to some people on that thread, he must have said something rude when turning down the fat women. LOL.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 85
Why is everyone so picky on me? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/12/2016 4:48:00 PM
Great list...I think I'll copy and paste it into my profile.
Am I mistaken or did you miss the most important one??
HONESTY........seems to be the one "want" most seem to be lacking...imo.
 DaYum_B1tch_My_Feet_Hurt
Joined: 3/9/2016
Msg: 86
Why is everyone so picky on me? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/12/2016 7:11:11 PM

yawn

They all think they're the princess. (even the not so attractive ones) and they all think they deserve the beautiful hunk.

Since it's my life, my body, and my time, I'll make that decision for myself.


Kudos to you!
I took a break from polishing my tiara & diamonds to pop in & pee all over the forums, as one SWEET LADY classily (is there such a word?) put it!

toodles everyone!
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 87
Why is everyone so picky on me? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/12/2016 8:00:41 PM

Yes, women are more picky then men.
On the flip side to that, women still make the wrong choices.


In theory, being picky should enable somebody to make the right choices.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 88
it sure isn't. whatcha gonna do?
Posted: 3/13/2016 6:42:17 AM

OMG! LOL! Within the time I had to actually edit this post, he self-deletes.


I didn't "self delete". One of you shills that work for the site nuked me.

Also, I've been on a cruise in the Caribbean for a week.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 89
it sure isn't. whatcha gonna do?
Posted: 3/13/2016 9:27:33 AM
Some men are not very picky about the kind of women they'll have sex with. That being said, men are just as picky as women about everything else - most men won't stay in a long-term relationship with a woman they find incompatible.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 90
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Why is everyone so picky on me? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/13/2016 12:18:44 PM

Eh, I think it comes down to your options and a little bit of critical thinking.

I agree. But in online dating, women's options are much wider, so they'll be more picky than IRL. Also, many gals tend to be overly picky when interfacing with 'online', due to a back-of-the-mind feeling that it's where lesser folks hang out. How do you combat what you may believe to be a stigma that online is a step Down? Swipe left, flip the hair, and say "OMG" to average Joes or Janes. ;)

The thing that cracks me up are people who get so worked up about "undesirables" contacting them, the "why would this person even THINK they have a chance with me!" attitude. These folks don't seem to be too far outside the margis, if at all.

I think it's a bit of schoolyard bragging. Open up Tinder and have a female friend swipe left or right for ya. She's going to be EXTREMELY picky. You'll be like "Whoah! Don't discount that one! Yikes, not that one either!" :) Online has a built-in negative motif to it all, for too many gals (and some guys too).
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 91
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Why is everyone so picky on me? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/13/2016 5:01:24 PM

The thing that cracks me up are people who get so worked up about "undesirables" contacting them, the "why would this person even THINK they have a chance with me!" attitude. These folks don't seem to be too far outside the margis, if at all.


Oh, what you read on the forums is only the beginning of it. I've hung out with girls who are laughing and making fun of the guys that message them... picking at every little detail that doesn't make him the definition of perfection.

Seriously, hang out with a couple of girls with POF between them, and there's a decent chance you're going to start wondering why you'd even consider the idea of wanting to be out in public with the people on these sites. You're very possibly the butt of someone's joke. Someone has probably looked at your pictures and her and her friend couldn't stop laughing. I don't have a perfectly symmetrical face, so if I smile, my mouth is a little crooked... How many girls do you think wanted nothing to do with me because "they don't date retards?" (I've actually heard that line come out)

Picky is only the beginning. You should see how bad this really gets. After what I've seen and heard from friends and family who have come on here, a girl that's too picky is a step up from this type of person that's way too common on here.
 ForeverTexas25
Joined: 1/18/2015
Msg: 92
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/13/2016 11:08:43 PM
In my case, it all comes down to whether or not I have that initial attraction or spark with the guy. If I don't find him attractive, I don't respond back. It's as simple as that. Not to sound shallow or anything, but I just see no point in responding back or even reading his profile if I'm not attracted to him. And I expect it would be the same for same for guys too. If I'm not their type, I see no reason why they should read my profile. On the other hand, if I do find the guy attractive or interesting then the little specifics of his picture and profile (like how he's posed, or what he's wearing, or a typo here or there, little things like that) don't have that big of an impact on me responding back to him. Obviously if he's only looking to be friends, or for hook ups, or if he can't put together a sentence, or things of that nature then I won't respond. No matter how attractive he is. But yeah, I don't pick apart every little detail like that. As long as there are no red flags and there is mutual attraction, I'm all for responding and getting to know a guy.
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 93
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/14/2016 9:31:12 AM

IF I find someone who is the entire package. If not, I'm happy to stay single until I find someone who is at least close to it.


You've said two things here. You want the entire package, and, you are okay with someone at least close to it, and therein lies the problem many people create for themselves. If you are looking for the "entire package", then you will preclude yourself from considering anyone who is only "close to it". You've set two different goal posts.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 94
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/14/2016 10:26:08 AM
I think the simpler you keep it, the better. There will always be dealbreakers, but I think those should be somewhat limited and be ABSOLUTE dealbreakers not any iffy ones. Really if you think about it, we all know the kind of people we enjoy spending time with and getting to know. I'm not fond of those who are hyper political and not just want to talk politics all the time, but try to foister their beliefs and thoughts on you. That's an example of a dealbreaker for me, my interest in politics at all is minimal at best.

I think you need to find a balance between feeling that you're throwing it WIDE open, like anyone breathing who can still feed themselves, down to a shopping list that you tick off. In between those two extremes there's probably a comfortable range where you may want to give someone a test email or chat.....
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 95
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/14/2016 12:27:45 PM

In my case, it all comes down to whether or not I have that initial attraction or spark with the guy. If I don't find him attractive, I don't respond back. It's as simple as that.

Well, 'spark' shouldn't come into play when it's mall-watching or profile-watching -- but then again it's an ambiguous term, but let's just call it for what it is -- Physical Attraction (without clear red flags or clear mismatches for compatibility and way-of-life). I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all! We're all like that. Not a controversy, and I don't think it's shallow. It's just the basics. With that said though, the controversy is when it's online, unknowingly to most gals, their level of "par" tends to very noticeably rise vs IRL. Guys can have the same thing too who are weary of the "online thing", but usually to a lesser extent. With that said, you'll find far more guys who are going to Lower "par" for female attention, due to the ratio mismatch of guys to girls.

I think once you get past the messaging and move to actual dating, reality can creep back in.

Oh yeah, I agree. I think once the guy & gal are past the intro phase of the first several dates and hit it off decently well, it won't have much an impact for many. But in the online world of 3:1 ratio, if online is the gal's go-to place, comparatively speaking, she'll have more appetizing options that he (thus more apt to be in "window shopping" mode at least temporarily).

She thinks she "looks young for her age" and wants someone "who looks young and can keep up with her"

If she can get guys 37-42 when she's 46, great. As you say, she shouldn't be ticked that guys in their 50s write her -- that's a kosher dating age-range in general. It doesn't take a guy who's 37 to "keep up" with a gal who's 45 or 46. It's a validator to her dating a guy younger, and a feeling of still being young (positive). You'll have plenty of people who are slow-moving in life & "blah" below late 30s. It's not so much an age thing to "keep up" unless she's thinking drinking contests. :) It's a looks thing.
 kidreason29
Joined: 9/25/2015
Msg: 96
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/15/2016 6:20:54 PM
My guess as to how "Evolutionary Psychology" would answer this question:

'Why are women so picky?' is because they subconsciously look for the best DNA to bare their children, even after they already had children.

...Anyway being picky has its +'s and -'s, as does everything else. Just remember your gonna die. :) So don't be too picky or wait to long.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 97
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/15/2016 8:23:26 PM

Just remember your gonna die. :) So don't be too picky or wait to long.


Hell of a pick-up line.

I have a question: If I die while I have a profile on here, am I destined to be on Plenty of Fish for all eternity?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 98
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/15/2016 8:28:25 PM
Your profile will be moved to the PoF afterlife, where all women become virgins and men millionaires.

It's a feast...

And...get this....

No batteries or Lubriderm are needed in the afterlife and wine is FREE!
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 99
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/15/2016 8:43:11 PM

I have a question: If I die while I have a profile on here, am I destined to be on Plenty of Fish for all eternity?


It will stay unless you leave someone instructions and your user name and password to remove it. I'm sure there are a few hundred thousand profiles on here of folks that lost interest and couldn't be bothered removing their profile, or that got married or in a relationship or died that never removed their profiles. A fri nd of mine that di d had his daughter remove his profile and delete his email address, he had cancer and knew he was dying. I had another friend who would pop up on FB, it took his son awhile to get Facebook to remove his Dad's account...death certificate had to be sent.

So Whatsamatterbaby, you're here forever, it like Hotel California and they'll still be arguing about who pays for the first date, lying about your age/height, separated means married, all men are sex-a holds, all women are frigid. BUT, Clooney is right, wine and Lubriderm for all, free.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 100
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 3/15/2016 9:08:13 PM
Couldn't the men be virgins, and the women millionaires? As far a free wine goes, I'd rather men had to pay for my wine. It makes me feel... validated.
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