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 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 176
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?Page 8 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
My some of you sure hand over the power to strangers fast. You are supposed to look good for YOU, not to please someone else or fish for compliments.
Been years since I even asked anyone how something looked on me - I figure I have that covered.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 177
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 5:46:38 AM

Same here. A few months ago I went on a date with a guy I was very attracted to. He was short and stocky, and my friends said he looked like the midget from Game of Thrones. But I found him super hot, and spent half the date worrying that I wasn't attractive enough for him. Needless to say he didn't want to see me again.


At least you know about where you stand with looks. Personally, I don't have a clue. A very small hand full, (less than six, or thereabouts) have ever expressed an opinion about me. So, I'm left to guessing. Dating is hard enough as it is. Not knowing is a confidence killer.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 178
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 8:32:09 AM

Maybe he didn't want to see you again for reasons that have nothing to do with your looks? It was one date with some strange guy. I wouldn't avoid dating people I found attractive because of one rejection. Seems a little too early to wave the white flag.


I have heard plenty of women say things like he was handsome, polite, intelligent etc. But they didn't want another date with him because there wasn't "instant" chemistry. Perhaps this man felt the same way. Unless I clearly don't match what they are looking for, I wouldn't avoid contacting women because I considered to be physically attractive. Sometimes when I contacted a bunch of women, the few women that had some initial interest in me were actually ones that I considered to be the best looking from that group.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 179
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 2:07:00 PM

One particular guy I met on Christian Mingle told me I was the only girl he wrote to who responded, aside from someone who knew him IRL and only messaged to say hi.

Lady Jane, ok, you may not be a super model, but you certainly Are Attractive, and in your age range with no kids that is a huge Plus on top of it. I'd bet $100 that I could grab your pictures, make a profile on any active dating site of you, and have no shortage of dates lined up with decent guys that gals in your league/type would say were cute. It'd feel as comfortable with that bet as a randomly-selected NBA player able to hit merely 1 free throw out of 10 tries. :)

He was short and stocky, and my friends said he looked like the midget from Game of Thrones. But I found him super hot, and spent half the date worrying that I wasn't attractive enough for him. Needless to say he didn't want to see me again.

Those things will happen, sure. But of all guys you find anywhere from super hot to attractive, if it's rare for anything to follow-thru if ever, whether it be via online messages or past the first several dates -- then that's something you're doing wrong that you're not (fully) aware of.

I rarely, if ever feel instant attraction to anyone. It takes time for me to get to that level, and to open up, but most guys are gone before that can happen.

Wait, though. To merely feel attraction? That means you find them attractive. You rarely find guys merely attractive at first? Yikes. There's a problem right there. :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 180
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 4:11:34 PM

If you think about it, you probably passed judgement on somebody, as well.


I did indeed.

I passed judgment on the people who passed the wrong judgment on me.


There are a lot of quick judgements,


Which would be OK, if the people were all qualified to make quick judgments.

Few people are.

I would venture that most people do NOT even make quick judgments to marry the person they married, and STILL look how many people end up divorced because of a wrong choice.

So the quick judgments are also likely to be suspect.


Why online gives people more expectations than in their daily lives, one has no idea.


I have an idea.

It's because the more options people have, the better odds they think they have for getting it all right.


and if someone wants to snap judge you on a single criteria, go ahead and consider it their loss,


Oh, I do indeed.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 181
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 4:57:45 PM
Excuse me for a minute gentlemen, I would like to speak to the very pretty Ms LJane.

Young lady, for just a few secs here, pretend I am your mom, OK?
You have been told, in so many different words you are attractive, pretty, etc etc. on numerous occasions here in the Forums. That "something" that gets in your way, is you.


spent half the date worrying....................... I rarely, if ever feel instant attraction to anyone.


"Worrying"????? No wonder you can't "ever feel instant attraction"! You are too wrapped up emotionally, "Worrying"!
With your face alone you could sweep 10 men off their feet. But "Worrying"? Guy's can smell that a mile away! Let it go, have fun, engage eye to eye. Show a man, you think he is all that and then some! It takes 2 to "feel instant attraction".


My some of you sure hand over the power to strangers fast. You are supposed to look good for YOU, not to please someone else or fish for compliments.
Been years since I even asked anyone how something looked on me - I figure I have that covered.


Amen to this, Ouija!
OT, Am I "so picky?" No more than anyone else.

Ok, please carry on!
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 182
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 4:58:37 PM
I always say this thread like Chuck saying
Damn dirty apes
I'm surprised I am allowed to walk amongst you some times
Worst, yet funniest movies EVER
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 183
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 6:07:33 PM
[
Yes. Men seem to think we're "too picky" if we want to date someone our own age who has a decent job. Meanwhile they won't even consider someone in their own league looks-wise.


It seems to me that women have a different way of judging looks. They don't care how pretty a man is - most women aren't attracted to metro - a guy with perfect skin who manicures his nails and plucks his eyebrows. They like masculine rugged looks. Some women also judge by height and how well built a man is. That is why a guy doesn't have to have the prettiest face to get a beautiful women. I used to think it was unfair that women are judged so much on looks until I found out that women place more importance on other qualities in a man - such as financial stability and confidence to make the first move. Both men and women can be picky about different things, so it evens out in the end.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 184
Why are people so prickly? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 6:20:21 PM
Was this the suitor who was potentially looking for a drunken hookup? Ironically, getting a quick fling might be easy, yet getting a relationship amongst us social animals, not as much. sometimes, we have to wait for someone to grow on us, and maybe that's where that old saw, "Friends first" comes into play.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 185
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Why are people so prickly? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 8:59:59 PM
"They like masculine rugged looks. "

Some do. Some wouldn't look twice at a man who constantly looks like he belongs in a hunting camp.
Personally, I live in a culture 6 months a year where most of the men are clean shaven, free of body hair, are buff (including men my age), and get their eyebrows done every time they get a hair cut which is usually once a week. Why, because they believe it to be cleaner. It is such a culture shock to come back to the land of the unshaved.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 186
Why are people so prickly? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 9:09:03 PM

free of body hair

Weird. I want to stroke the man's chest hair.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 187
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Why are people so prickly? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 9:24:12 PM
"Weird. I want to stroke the man's chest hair."

I used to feel that way until I learned to appreciate a mans body for all that it can be. I want to appreciate his muscle definition. I might be old, but I know what I like. My body is naturally muscular in a feminine way. The turn on of muscle definition is something I can't deny.
Picky? Who me?
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 188
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/3/2016 10:42:34 PM
@Ladyinred: Thank you so much! That is really sweet of you to say.

@Norwegianguy: Thank you too for your comments, I appreciate it.


No wonder you can't "ever feel instant attraction"! You are too wrapped up emotionally, "Worrying"! Guy's can smell that a mile away!


I totally agree, and this is a big part of my problem. I struggle a lot with confidence and am really shy. That makes it hard for me to engage with people in general, especially on dates. It’s hard to feel attraction when anxiety gets in the way of your other feelings. In that sense, alcohol does help, but I don’t like to use it too much as a crutch or get wasted on dates, lol.


You rarely find guys merely attractive at first? Yikes. There's a problem right there.


I can look at a guy and objectively think he’s cute or whatever, but to actually “feel” attraction is a different thing, and for me that involves getting to know someone (at least a bit), which usually leads to the problem I just described above. Also, the guys I feel attraction to aren’t the typical “hot guys,” they’re usually a bit edgy or artistic or something.


most women aren't attracted to metro…They like masculine rugged looks.


Yep, this is me. Metro is a deal-breaker. I do not want my man to spend more time getting ready than I do. “Free of body hair”? Yuck! Please keep your chest hair, and grow a long beard if possible.


Some women also judge by height and how well built a man is.


Tall and fit is nice, but definitely not a requirement for many women. Personality and yes, confidence matter way more. Like I said, I was super attracted to a short, stocky (not fit) guy. Usually I prefer a few inches taller than me, and we were the same height, but I was so intrigued by his personality I didn’t care.


Was this the suitor who was potentially looking for a drunken hookup?


Yes, I was talking about the same guy. I very rarely have a strong attraction to someone, but when I do, I get a little obsessed :/ Not healthy, I know.


Women place more importance on other qualities in a man - such as financial stability and confidence to make the first move. Both men and women can be picky about different things, so it evens out in the end.


In a way, this makes sense. However, financial stability and confidence say more about a person’s character – how hard they are willing to work, how driven they are. (An exception would be someone who was born into money they didn’t have to earn). People (to a large extent) can’t help what they look like. So, I don’t really see these factors as “even.”


sometimes, we have to wait for someone to grow on us, and maybe that's where that old saw, "Friends first" comes into play.


I like this approach in theory, and I’ve had it happen (meaning, I had a man grow on me who I at first did not find attractive). But realistically I find that most men make judgements pretty quickly (usually on the first date), and have no interest in seeing a woman again, even as a friend, if they are not immediately physically attracted. Correct me if I’m wrong, though.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 189
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 3:41:59 AM

Yep, this is me. Metro is a deal-breaker. I do not want my man to spend more time getting ready than I do. “Free of body hair”? Yuck! Please keep your chest hair, and grow a long beard if possible.


Hate to break it to you, but a long beard that's well groomed and taken care of takes time, product, and energy. Hope you like the homeless look.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 190
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 7:34:12 AM

Tall and fit is nice, but definitely not a requirement for many women. Personality and yes, confidence matter way more. Like I said, I was super attracted to a short, stocky (not fit) guy. Usually I prefer a few inches taller than me, and we were the same height, but I was so intrigued by his personality I didn’t care.


On dating sites, height is a requirement for many women.


In a way, this makes sense. However, financial stability and confidence say more about a person’s character – how hard they are willing to work, how driven they are. (An exception would be someone who was born into money they didn’t have to earn). People (to a large extent) can’t help what they look like. So, I don’t really see these factors as “even.”


Some physical traits like height or skin color aren't controllable. But others like weight can be controllable to some extent. ( I know some people have medical conditions, but I think they are exceptions ). Also there are plenty of hard working people with modest incomes.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 191
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 9:01:03 AM

However, financial stability and confidence say more about a person’s character – how hard they are willing to work, how driven they are.


Is this referring to both genders, where women should be just as financially stable, confident, hard working and driven as the guys they seek who have those qualities?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 192
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 9:08:36 AM

Tall and fit is nice, but definitely not a requirement for many women. Personality and yes, confidence matter way more. Like I said, I was super attracted to a short, stocky (not fit) guy. Usually I prefer a few inches taller than me, and we were the same height, but I was so intrigued by his personality I didn’t care.


This is quite a great statement. And reason I tell many guys that it's not about being a hot looking dude, but a person of character, that is confident in his endeavors. It's like the saying goes "Luck favors the bold."


I like this approach in theory, and I’ve had it happen (meaning, I had a man grow on me who I at first did not find attractive). But realistically I find that most men make judgements pretty quickly (usually on the first date), and have no interest in seeing a woman again, even as a friend, if they are not immediately physically attracted. Correct me if I’m wrong, though.


I agree with this statement as well. Men hate being friend-zoned. The problem with being friend-zoned is that the only way out of a friend-zone is controlled by the woman, not the man. Most men stuck there, when they tell the woman that they want more, the friendship falls apart. Yet in some cases, when the woman has wanted more and asked the friend, they have then been able to transition into a relationship. So many guys hate to be at the mercy of some event than more than likely is not going to happen. Yet many shy guys, many passive aggressive guys fall into this situation and live their lives in a sense of despair, logging something that they cannot touch. Also the more time you waste, in a friend-zoned relationship, is time away from finding the "real" relationship. But because such people are so afraid of rejection that they'd rather live in such state than deal with the pain of being alone, or having to be rejected when they approach someone new.

I do have some female friends, but they are not friends because I wish at some point I had been able to sleep with them, but because I really cherish them AS friends, and given the opportunity to sleep with them, I would have to decline. So if after trying to pursue someone, she tells me the "let's just be friends" line, I tell them that really, I am not interested.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 193
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 10:37:09 AM
LJ, I had asked if you were discussing drunk bar dude b/c I thought the general conclusion was, he wanted only one thing and you could have had him if you actually had wanted to do that one thing. For what it may be worth, you likely shot him down (justifiably) first b/c you didn't want that superficial a relationship. in other words, while you didn't get what you want, its not a negative reflection upon you or your ability to attract.

We all want different things from our relationships. We look around for that thing, we see someone who seems to have at least the physical characteristics...but we need to get to know them better to understand if we're going to get the things we wish to get outside the bedroom. otherwise we'd just set up the ONS and have the wild monkey sex and the walk of shame afterward.

if financial stability and what it stands for, means a lot to us, then its important. if its not important, then its not the thing we're focused on. a person who lacks confidence may not find confidence all that important, b/c they'd have to step up their own confidence to match. If they mistake c0ckiness for confidence, then what they think is important, isn't even confidence, its show-off behavior, etc.

some men will make a quick judgement, b/c they are focused on a sexual partner they can stand being around. they already have enough friends, they want a lover, too.there are women who have a lover who they can't make into a friend, and male friends who they don't want to have as lovers. they can't find everything in one man, so they farm it out. One guy shows up Friday night, the others hang out over the course of the weekend for events and dinners.

I've had female friends evolve into "more"...not into gfs, nothing official. they couldn't find anyone who gave them the spark in the dark of winter. once spring brought out tshirts and short shorts...things returned to normal. there had been more cuddling than sex in those relationships.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 194
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 10:52:33 AM

I totally agree, and this is a big part of my problem. I struggle a lot with confidence and am really shy.

I think that's what's cost you IRL from the other thread. Even though it's guys who are to do the hunting in the dating scene, the girls need to be cognizant of maintaining a warm Welcome sign on the door that's will to be open to visitors. :)

I can look at a guy and objectively think he’s cute or whatever, but to actually “feel” attraction is a different thing

Objectively think he's cute. If you ONLY objectively think he's cute, you personally don't find him attractive. Like, a friend can point out a gal in a crowd and say she's real cute. I could agree but only objectively. Maybe she looks like one of my cousins who has a distinct look, so it turns me off -- but I objectively know that yes, she is cute, so I validate his assessment an encourage him to try and mingle with her. But I don't want to because I'm not attracted to her -- even though I see her as attractive.

Do you mean "feel" attraction as in Really Liking the guy? As in being harmlessly giddy/ga-ga about him or more? That's a different story. We can still find them attractive, but not be on that level, where there is no instant-premade-honeymoon-phase before the 1st date's even had.

Metro is a deal-breaker. I do not want my man to spend more time getting ready than I do.

A metro guy isn't necessarily going to spend more time getting ready than you do. Let's be honest -- it's not about that. If you want guys to grow out all their hair all over their body, and you're into "rugged" -- you'll be very quick to think of a guy as too 'metro', when he takes half the time you do in the bathroom. :)

“Free of body hair”? Yuck! Please keep your chest hair, and grow a long beard if possible.

Some guy's body hair can be in off-putting patches and not look good. Even if you do like guys with more rugged looks, it should be more like "If you can grow it where it looks good, do it," combined with a "don't be the polar opposite of the guys who do."

Tall and fit is nice, but definitely not a requirement for many women.

For attractive no-kids women like you, statistically, it's a requirement to some degree. At Least as tall as her in heels (several inches taller) + in decent shape. What's not a requirement for many women is him being taller in heels while at the same time having to be seen as one of the "fit guys" in the room.

Personality and yes, confidence matter way more.

Almost all the time, when it's someone we don't know yet for some time -- we don't know their confidence level. Sometimes we can deduce it, but sometimes it's hastily done because we're running on little evidence. We're just making stereotypical assumptions based on their demeanor -- which can have varying levels of accuracy, but that's dependent on the person evaluating (which obviously for some can be WAY off without them realizing it). Personality kind of goes the same way. Sometimes it's pretty quick to classify them as a certain Type. Sometimes it's not. A guy's Voice is hugely overlooked, along with his body language and how he flows as what ends up being someone's assessment of his "personality and confidence", even though there's been no true litmus test. Just association. Which is why a lot of guys when going thru training on how to be better on the dating circuit, learn that stuff.

However, financial stability and confidence say more about a person’s character – how hard they are willing to work, how driven they are.

Again, you're usually not going to know about his financial stability and such until you're knee deep in dating already. Certainly not from people watching & mingling or after a 1st date. Believing that one can only perpetuates guys to put on a front. :) Which sometimes can be a good thing to keep up with the times of what gals look for in their guesses on those attributes, but also adds to guys giving false/skewed projections because women are putting too much stock into it.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 195
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 2:59:43 PM

Hate to break it to you, but a long beard that's well groomed and taken care of takes time, product, and energy. Hope you like the homeless look.


I was half-joking when I said that. I do like long beards, and beards in general, but I don’t think they look good on every guy. Some look better without. And too long is getting into homeless territory.


On dating sites, height is a requirement for many women.


On dating sites, yes, I agree. Online, we judge people superficially. We have no sense of their real personality, body language, etc., so it’s impossible to have chemistry right away. So, I suppose many women are likely to choose taller guys based on just their profiles. IRL, however, we may find ourselves attracted to people who aren’t our usual “type” because something about them draws us in, and that includes shorter guys.


there are plenty of hard working people with modest incomes.


True. When I say I want “financial stability,” I don’t mean a rich guy. I mean someone who has a stable job and income. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but enough to reasonably live on (combined with the woman’s income, of course, since most women work these days). Women think about these things because most of us have or want kids, and need to be able to support a family. We also value commitment, and it helps to see that a guy is able to commit to a job and be responsible. It’s about way more than just money.


Is this referring to both genders, where women should be just as financially stable, confident, hard working and driven as the guys they seek who have those qualities?


Ideally, yes, at least if that’s what the guy is looking for as well. I personally wouldn’t mind getting married, having kids and being a stay at home mom if that was affordable. But, I’m pretty traditional. I realize it’s a double standard if one expects the man to have those qualities when they don’t themselves. The same as it’s a double standard for an older, overweight guy to insist on dating young, skinny women. But a lot of us want what we want, and refuse to change it.


LJ, I had asked if you were discussing drunk bar dude b/c I thought the general conclusion was, he wanted only one thing and you could have had him if you actually had wanted to do that one thing. For what it may be worth, you likely shot him down (justifiably) first b/c you didn't want that superficial a relationship. in other words, while you didn't get what you want, its not a negative reflection upon you or your ability to attract.


This is likely true. :D


Do you mean "feel" attraction as in Really Liking the guy? As in being harmlessly giddy/ga-ga about him or more? That's a different story. We can still find them attractive, but not be on that level, where there is no instant-premade-honeymoon-phase before the 1st date's even had.


Yes, that’s what I meant. I don’t really feel attraction just by looking at a guy, well rarely anyway. I have to at least get a sense of his personality. And even then, I’m pretty particular about what attracts me. It’s weird, and sometimes I really do wish it were different, but it’s not really something that’s controllable. IRL I do think the shyness makes it harder to relax and therefore feel attraction, though. I guess looks-wise I do have a “type,” but that isn’t set in stone.


A metro guy isn't necessarily going to spend more time getting ready than you do. Let's be honest -- it's not about that. If you want guys to grow out all their hair all over their body, and you're into "rugged" -- you'll be very quick to think of a guy as too 'metro', when he takes half the time you do in the bathroom. :)


When I think of “metro,” I think of guys who dress fashionably, are very well-groomed, fit, go tanning, etc. And a bit of a feminine style (like, pink shirts on guys are considered “metro.”) Maybe we have a different idea of what the word means.


Some guy's body hair can be in off-putting patches and not look good. Even if you do like guys with more rugged looks, it should be more like "If you can grow it where it looks good, do it," combined with a "don't be the polar opposite of the guys who do."


I seriously wouldn’t want a guy to shave off or wax his body hair, that’s just uneccessary. Unless his beard is patchy, or he just looks better without one. In that case, I agree he probably shouldn’t grow one.


For attractive no-kids women like you, statistically, it's a requirement to some degree. At Least as tall as her in heels (several inches taller) + in decent shape. What's not a requirement for many women is him being taller in heels while at the same time having to be seen as one of the "fit guys" in the room.


I don’t wear heels, so for me that’s not an issue. :) However, I generally do prefer the guy to be somewhat taller, and while not super-fit, to look like he takes care of himself.


Almost all the time, when it's someone we don't know yet for some time -- we don't know their confidence level.


Agree. Some people are really good at faking it. I’m not one of them. :/ I think a person’s true colors will come out sooner than later, though.


A guy's Voice is hugely overlooked, along with his body language and how he flows as what ends up being someone's assessment of his "personality and confidence"


A voice is not something I overlook, it’s a really important factor for me. I told my friends I am more attracted by a guy’s voice than his appearance. I do think a confident-sounding, deeper voice is more attractive. But while a strong voice does tend to portray confidence, that may just be a surface-level assumption.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 196
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 5:57:03 PM
hey, don't knock initial attraction, its how we pick a face out of a crowd of them. Otherwise we'd be chatting up everyone and have no time left to do anything else. As young people, unfortunately, we don't have a sense of what is good initial attraction versus bad initial attraction, so apparently we have to experiment by dating around (and hopefully using protection so we don't dilute the gene pool accidentally).
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 197
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Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/4/2016 7:06:43 PM
I don't mean to be knocking it, it's just that for me personally, I won't usually know if I'm attracted to someone until I get to know them or at least talk to them a bit. Of course, there are men I would consider attractive or unattractive based on looks alone, but those initial judgements can change once I get to know someone. A guy I wouldn't look twice at may come up and start talking to me, and I will have some attraction based on his personality. But that too can change over time. I think everyone, young or old has to experiment by dating around. That is, if you are looking for a relationship (which I am) and not just a hookup.
 JJBean21
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 198
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/6/2016 7:45:52 AM
OP....oh puhleeeze.....like men aren't picky? Mirror selfies are lame, but that's my opinion. If you don't have any friends to take a decent picture of you with your shirt ON or OFF----get someone off the street to do it....or maybe at the beach. You present yourself however you want to in order to attract the person who is right for you. If she is right for you, it will NOT matter if you have filters, nice clothes, fishing pics, duck lips, ( oh no that's women who do that...lol) or smiling, frowning, etc. Just be yourself.
 BadResponseGuy
Joined: 3/26/2013
Msg: 199
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/6/2016 12:18:23 PM
Men are just as picky.

Keep in mind if you're not immediately the girl or guys type on here, there's hundreds of others closer to it. That's the dark side to this site. Also the people you're talking about are called, "Shallow". Those types of profiles are always red--flagged in my mind. Anytime I see someone with that many specifics on their profile I immediately assume there's going to be a later news story about someone getting their organs sold off on the black market.


Does it suck EVERYONE is so picky on here? Absolutely. But is it a bad thing? Not always.

Here's what I can suggest:
1) If she posts plenty of provocative or bikini shots. She's obviously only looking for one type of person.

2) If you message someone and they don't message you back. Take it as a blessing, not an insult. It feels worlds worse when someone straight up tells yo they don't want you.

3) Work on your confidence. If you take care of yourself and get your mind right. The right person will make their way into your life eventually. This is relationship you're talking about, not a vending machine. You don't get to just pick a girl you find is, "hot" then get upset when it's not mutual(which is what I'm going to assume is what this is about, no offense intended).
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 200
Why are women so picky? it's not fair is it?
Posted: 4/12/2016 10:35:17 PM

If she posts plenty of provocative or bikini shots. She's obviously only looking for one type of person.


A swimwear photographer? ;:-/






If you message someone and they don't message you back. Take it as a blessing, not an insult. It feels worlds worse when someone straight up tells yo they don't want you.


I disagree. I like the idea of an exit interview. You might learn about something you're inadvertently doing wrong, some odd (perhaps even unintentional) red flag you're putting out there. I mean, I sound good on paper I think yet get almost no replies or messages. Maybe enjoying crime comedies is the kiss of death with women and I just don't know it, and I need to kick good ol' Mickey O'Neil, Tommy, and Turkish to the kerb* in order to find love.

*I know... but it's a British flick.






Work on your confidence. If you take care of yourself and get your mind right. The right person will make their way into your life eventually. This is relationship you're talking about, not a vending machine. You don't get to just pick a girl you find is, "hot" then get upset when it's not mutual(which is what I'm going to assume is what this is about, no offense intended).


You should write a book and call it 'The Secret'.







Well, at least you live up to your handle. :-)
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