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 loveisatemple
Joined: 3/28/2014
Msg: 24
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required pleasePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Hey, nobody is saying don't try, or it is wrong, but don't come here with complaints of it's cruel and unfair, be empathetic to my suffering though I bring it upon myself with these high standards, I'm a nice guy, how it is rational for you to only date younger (that is just your preference, no need to deny), hog wash about why you are an exception to the laws of aging( "they cannot keep up, therefore I deserve young flesh" vs that is just what you want, and should get ready to be patient waiting for it).

There is a reason nobody is coming out in droves to date you and that is competition, or maybe just not into you . You might get what you're looking for, nobody knows, or maybe not, same as anybody. I just think it's funny how they all say the same " I just never age, nobody knows how old I am, my peers are younger and by osmosis so am I...")It is a cliche.
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 25
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 6:28:16 PM
Are you saying his chances are the same as an attractive, high quality, high caliber woman that looks good on paper (and will tell you all about it) and is holding out for her knight in shining armour, of course he's a King and not a lowly Knight. Well, maybe you're right because they are still here looking too. Bummer OP. You might do better at a Meetup group or an introduction or a match maker.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 26
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:28:23 PM
Do you typically talk this much in person? I truly didn't need an accounting explanation, I was just expressing a perception. You are probably correct in that the majority of the much younger women receiving your messages are looking at your age and passing as this does tend to be a visual medium. I hope you're not blathering on for paragraphs in your introduction messages.

Glad to see you removed the age settings on your incoming emails, that was just silly. It may go better for you without the blatant age range showing on your profile. You can be the judge of that. Just as the women 10+ yrs younger are ignoring you, you can simply ignore the 52-yr old cougars contacting you.

.. and Chromis, 54 is gobs of hot, too. Just sayin'...
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 27
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History
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 7:49:50 PM
^^^^ Oh, absolutely. 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60. 61, 62 ...

Frankly, I don't know at what age this all ends. I suppose it's all relative and the real answer is "never".
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 28
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:16:50 PM
You know Forums Only, the OP wasn't rude. You were rude to him. And hell, if you found someone, he will find someone.

He's not the only male looking for younger. Not too many people in their 40s or 50s or 60s come on here saying "I'm looking for a guy/gal 10 or 15 years older than me". He's attractive, got the right credentials and will get frustrated like many on here. He will be fine.

OP, don't settle. You will find someone that suits you.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 29
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 8:23:09 PM
*The age range of the women has been from 39 to 48 which I don't think too unreasonable for my age at 51.*

Not unreasonable, but depends on how big a gap the woman is comfortable with. I'm 37, and I'm only interested in men under 42 or so, AND in great shape. The same way that you look younger than your age, everyone is surprised that I'm MY age. I'm always thought to be in my late twenties or early thirties, and no, I'm not interested in a man seven-ten or more years my senior - why would I be when attractive men in their twenties and thirties hit on me routinely - and the difference between younger and older is quite noticeable, as you must know since you seek younger. Good luck OP, I hope you find your match.
 Forums_only
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 30
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/23/2016 9:49:20 PM

You were rude to him


I read it again, I was not rude. Again, simply stating another perspective. If I touched a nerve, so be it. I didn't think I needed to sugarcoat it for someone my age. He can absolutely contact whoever he wants, so long as he realizes how he appears to them and has no illusions on the visual aspect of online dating. Yes, I found someone here - it can be done. We are only 2 years apart in age. Imagine that.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 31
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Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/24/2016 5:38:45 AM

Forums_only I read it again, I was not rude. Again, simply stating another perspective. If I touched a nerve, so be it. I didn't think I needed to sugarcoat it for someone my age.


I read the OP's responses, you didn't bother the OP at all, it was other posters that wanted to object to your perspective. As we know, there are always some forum posters that are looking to pick a fight about anyone's perspective regardless of what it is.

My take is to never put in an age range for a male, it's not like any of use get overwhelming mail in our inboxes. Easier to just delete MSGs you don't want to respond to rather than risking offending some hypersensitive woman when they look at the age range.

If someone does get a lot of new MSGs, I think it's sensible to restrict who can contact you even if it arbitrary and based on personal whims. Just makes one's life easier to deal with even if you do "miss out" on a rare compatible person.

In any case, I see the OP has take OUT his age range, which I think is sensible.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 32
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/24/2016 7:29:43 AM
OP you already travel a lot, you're in good shape, appear to be financially well off..have you seriously searched in Asia or Latin America?
possibly the age spread (15-20 years or so ) that you prefer, won't bother women in these areas so much, especially if you bring $$$ to the table..might be sites for those locations you should try?
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 33
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/24/2016 8:09:42 AM
He's just looking for 10 or 12 years younger, not 15 ot 20. Many on here are as well, 5 to 10 years younger seems the average for what people are looking for, both genders. Yes, we have a few 48 year old women having sex with guys they could have given birth to and there are men here doing the same. But as an average, this poster is not out of line in what he seeks. And he'll find it and it will take some time. He'll have to sort through some of them wanting him for what he has as opposed to what kind of guy he is, but that will sort itself out.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 34
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/24/2016 8:37:57 AM
is there 'something wrong with Asian or Latin women ? just saying the odds may improve for him..it appears he already likes to travel a lot
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 36
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/25/2016 3:30:45 AM

Why is that considered midlife crisis ?

I wouldn't worry about it. Sometimes people on here get too caught up with reviewing the person, rather than reviewing the profile or giving tips to get more success. Best to ignore those pointless debates really, they don't help you out.


I have not specified exclusions of any age on my profile but have limited those discussions to here in order to not put anyone off

Good that you don't put it on your profile, but it's actually quite easy for potential dates to find your forum posts. Not quite as simple as clicking one button like it used to be, but it's not hard if you try. Although I don't think you've said anything particularly bad, just something to bear in mind for the future.

I would second the advice given by Chromis, though. Looking for a woman 10 years or more younger than yourself, you will be facing an uphill struggle. If I were you I'd expand your range to include women up to a couple of years older than yourself. You've nothing to lose by messaging 39 year olds, but if you only message those 39-48 then you'll be restricting yourself quite significantly. I'm sure there are plenty of women 49-55 who are definitely compatible with you, and you're more likely to get a response from them. There's a regular poster on these forums who could probably run rings round both of us!

Your profile is looking good so if it's still not working I think it's time to look at your messaging protocol. Can you give an example message you might send to someone?
 sundownertoo
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 38
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/25/2016 5:28:29 AM
You have a great pofile and seem to have a great attitude. Go find what you want. Your age selection is hardly out of whack as you're basically 12 years younger a d OLDER. The anal retentive go by the. Rules" folks need here focus on the 12 years younger and are totally blind to the AND OLDER.

It's a good thing you said you don't date fat women or the responses would have been worse. And don't ever, ever,ever suggest splitting the check.

Good luck.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 39
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/25/2016 5:43:52 AM

by adding 1 to each 39-51 I didn't feel that was going to cause so much of a stir.

Ignore the "stir" who cares about stir? That doesn't get you dates.

You can set whatever preferences you like, it's nobody's business but your own. What we're saying is that if you decide you only want to date one-legged traffic wardens from Argentina, then you're not going to get many dates. Similarly if you only message 39-48, you will get much fewer responses. There's nothing wrong with your age restriction or personal preference, it's just that you're shooting yourself in the foot. If you can accept a lower response rate, then that's fine, stick to the 39-48. But my understanding is that you're not getting many replies. I think this is the major reason why.


I don't have stock message, it totally depends upon what the person has mentioned in their profiles or is displayed in their photos. I may compliment them on their looks

For a start I'd avoid any kind of physical compliment, rest assured they have heard it a million times before and it's usually followed by "intimate innuendo" etc so they will usually roll their eyes, oh not another one, and not respond.

Good that you tailor messages to the individual but can you give one example? Pick someone who's responded to this thread and write a message that you would send to them. Pretend you share some of their hobbies or something and say what you'd write.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 40
Over 51 and over the hill ? Profile review required please
Posted: 2/25/2016 6:12:03 PM

Hi, well my post seems to have gained some attention even if my profile hasn't.


Funny how that works, eh?


Though I seem to be getting flamed for my comments on here rather than what I have actually presented on my profile. People seem to be getting hung up on the 'younger' age issue.


Well, you're supposed to know your place, and stay in it, after all. Stay in your league. Fit the formula. Don't make waves. Etc.

The best advice I can give is to use as much clean humor as possible in profile and messages.
It used to work fairly well.
Maybe it will again someday.
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