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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Something more than HI, you're cute      Home login  
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 LadyInWonderland
Joined: 11/27/2015
Msg: 102
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Something more than HI, you're cutePage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Really? Loved the show and the song...funny thing is the couple were black and the guy was racist against 'whites'....in the show he had neighbors that of a mixed marriage...oh boy!
You should google it on youtube...quite funny!

Oh,I loved that little racist show. It was a spin-off from "All in The Family". The starring couple in the story line didn't move to Manhattan from a "Black Ghetto" they had "escaped" from a White working-class neighborhood and bigot [Archie Bunker] in the NYC outer borough of Queens--that makes it funnier.

The supporting couple was interracial--Black wife, White husband both also living in the luxury high-rise. BTW, Roxie Roker, mother of Lenny Kravitz, played the wife.

I think the affluent interracial couple was the reference being made here on the forum (you know how silly people are) ...but no "ghetto" anywhere.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 103
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:22:31 PM
Juju...

Umm, I think the one showing her true colors is yourself.

However, to answer your original question the best I (white, divorced, 57-year-old female) can...

Don't troll men's profiles if you find them attractive... email them!

OK can I get the right words from a man? SINCE I am trying to attracted a man I would think they would know what to say better than a woman... IF I need help with my make ups I will hit up a woman.....If I need help with a man I will hit up a man.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 104
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:32:09 PM
JJ DragonBytes (a guy) offered this short and sweet email. post #10


There are so few men on this website that I am attracted to, I just had to write to you when I stumbled upon your profile.

If you feel the same, shoot me a MSG so we can compare notes on our life's journey.



What's your response to his suggestion?
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 105
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:36:39 PM
[/q]What's your response to his suggestion?

I never answer guys who send notes like this. So I feel it sounds like the emails I get and they are rejected before they are finished being read... IT just comes off as a cut and paste line being sent to every woman they contact.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 106
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:44:34 PM
I just wrote this:
I noticed you added me to your favorites list. I am beyond flattered and a little shocked. I would not think I was your type. I am not sure I am much of a tom boy..... But lover of UFC and dogs, and movies.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 107
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:57:25 PM
To be honest , if I find a woman more than a little attractive all she would have to write is " Hi "

However, I PREFER something that tells me WHY she sent me a msg , like something I wrote that resonates with her

Example :

" I love Super Soul Sunday too and am very interested in exploring spiritual ideas like the power of now by eckart tolle" , because that is only too easy to respond to vs the simple " HI " where I'm not sure if she just wants to jump my bones or ????
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 108
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 6:58:31 PM
2/26/2016 814 PM
Report this message for inappropriate content

You look sexy!


Well we are off to the races...... Thanks for nothing guys.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 109
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:00:19 PM
People showing some 'color' in here doesn't automatically make them racist.
People telling you to look for something less than perfection doesn't mean they are ordering you to date a 'zero'.
People putting you down for being stubborn are not LITERALLY bashing you over the head with their agendas.

One thing about being online - people feel empowered to pull stuff to the extremes, even if the remarks are meant as subtle jab at humor, or a genuine attempt to help. Life and love is NEVER black or white - there's a million colors of them in-between. Hopefully you'll realize that taking a 'stand' in here means little to nothing in the real world. The one that needs to see your true colors is out there, somewhere - but staying online in here, trying to flip the shades shut 99.7% of the time isn't what will make you shine.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 110
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:14:13 PM

OK can I get the right words from a man? SINCE I am trying to attracted a man I would think they would know what to say better than a woman... IF I need help with my make ups I will hit up a woman.....If I need help with a man I will hit up a man.


Good advice is good advice.
Glad you emailed him (per post 86).
Even though I'm female, don't ask me about makeup; I don't wear it.


So I feel it sounds like the emails I get and they are rejected before they are finished being read... IT just comes off as a cut and paste line being sent to every woman they contact.


True....

But you're not trying to contact a woman, you're trying to contact a man.
Who probably doesn't receive all those emails and would be totally flattered by anything more than 'Hi'.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 111
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:15:19 PM
Most of the comments on here are judgemental --in the worst way.

Just because something doesn't work for you --doesn't mean it wont for someone else. Just because you make a choice to *showcase yourself one way -doesn't make someone else less for choosing to *showcase themselves another way.

Yall are putting down people who are just simply showing their preferences....and as much as I <3 Lil, I do understand why the OP was upset--she didn't ask for a profile review, she ask a simple question...she wanted to be proactive...what do I say...

Now Im not a fan of the OP, I think she has more drama than a Lifetime made for tv movie, put in general yall were judging her, her choices and whoever responded to her --all unfairly.

I show cleavage in all my pictures--I date quality men for yall to imply differently is wrong...

Men just cause you make a choice not to-- don't be putting down men who do, you aren't better than them--and they aren't better than you--it is simply a difference in choice.

Some quality men date whoever they want and don't worry about this type of crap. However, OP, this is a free site and I have found Match.com to have quality men who have a completely different attitude about cleavage. Most are what many would call extremely successful.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 112
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 7:20:44 PM
The more whiskey I drink, the more I just don't understand.

Totally confused.

Want more?

Expect less.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 113
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 8:00:06 PM
Sticking strictly to the original matter at hand ...

You emailed him with:

I noticed you added me to your favorites list. I am beyond flattered and a little shocked. I would not think I was your type. I am not sure I am much of a tom boy..... But lover of UFC and dogs, and movies.

He responded with:

You look sexy!

So ... that's it?

Well we are off to the races......

Yeah? Marathon or sprint?

Thanks for nothing guys.

Any time. Our purpose is to serve.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 115
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 8:24:42 PM

I never answer guys who send notes like this. So I feel it sounds like the emails I get and they are rejected before they are finished being read... IT just comes off as a cut and paste line being sent to every woman they contact.


When I contact a woman, I say I am interrestedi, what is your name and where do you live?

It seemed a little to direct for a woman to say that to a man.


Well we are off to the races...... Thanks for nothing guys.


Congrats, I guess it's true, you get what you pay for.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 117
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/27/2016 7:37:02 AM
Now that the dust has settled, and OP has left the neighborhood, and I know she asked for an answer from "a man", not ...........Yah, OK I won't go there.

Plain and simple. THE answer to the question IS:
As a hunter or fisherman. KNOW your prey. KNOW where to go. GO there.
GO PREPARED. Wear the right clothing, use the correct bait, use the right fishing rod, carry the right rifle. AND know what to do when see, what you came for.

(KNOW your audience)

IF one is determined, to find what they seek, and it is not to be found on POF?
LOOK elsewhere. HUNT some where else.!!!!!!!!!

(DAYAM that was simple! LOL)
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 118
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/27/2016 7:53:46 AM
Juju pouting, not everyone agreed. so ran away with her toys, won't play any more..left the building..exit stage left.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 120
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/27/2016 12:14:00 PM

I sent him a email. It was not a hi, you are attractive kind of email but a email that talked about the common interests we shared. I did not get a response. I checked to see if he removed me from his list but nothing. He just ignored me.

You're not the only gal on the site -- especially if he's a looker to you + you being a picky gal. He probably tagged (favorited) a set of gals out of browsing convenience, and he's in the dating scene with options. Doesn't mean he's your first choice. You're just bookmarked, is all. A guy like that is going to have his hands full. Don't put a ton of stock in favorites -- just that said person finds you at least decently attractive. Doesn't mean they're going to be chasing you, nor that they're obligated to chase you online.

To be honest , if I find a woman more than a little attractive all she would have to write is " Hi "

True. Her situation isn't about what she wrote -- and a gal doesn't need to write much. However, on the safe side, I would advise a gal to write a bit more than just "hi" to a guy if he seems well spoken in his profile. But if he thinks she's a looker -- it won't matter anyway.

When I contact a woman, I say I am interrestedi, what is your name and where do you live?

Yes. Asking for full name & address off the bat is good. Gals love that. :)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 121
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:00:06 PM

Yes. Asking for full name & address off the bat is good. Gals love that. :)


When I said I am interested, on that site it was like a flirt alert, she sent an alert back.

So I said in a MSG:

Hi, my name is John, what's your name?

Where do you live was more like apartment, home, parents, etc. Not an actual address.

I wouldn't need her full name nor street address.

What else can I say, after an extended back and for MSGing, we did meet up.

One woman on POF who was much younger and lived with her mother, I said I don't think your mom would approve of me. (This was before the 14 year rule). She was amused and responded. I was amused she thought I was too short, even though I was 35 years older, that didn't seem to matter. One woman who looked to be 40 or so, she listed her age as 100, I sent her a MSG saying she looked very good for her age. We chatted a bit, but she was several states away and too far to make it convenient to meet.

Most women responded, sometimes I was so surprised I didn't have a good follow up handy. (I think it's important to keep up the flow of the chat.)

So I don't put that much significance in getting a response, I most often got a response. Maybe if I had stayed online longer I would have gotten more unread/delete type responses, but I can only comment on what actually did happen.

IMO it's difficult to tell someone how to MSG someone, for me it's more spur of the moment based on her pics, profile and my level of interest.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 122
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/27/2016 1:11:09 PM
FWIW, I never tell a woman she is cute, sexy, etc. Obviously I am attracted if her if I MSG her, why talk about sexy or cute? It's just me and how I feel about it, I know many men pay those types of compliment to women..

Also, it's very rare that I find someone so sexy that it makes an impression on me. Maybe 1 out of 5000. As a reference, I now have a pic of a woman in a yellow bikini that was on a group hike with me and my wife, I thought she was hot and took a pic that included her.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 123
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/28/2016 9:50:54 AM

IMO it's difficult to tell someone how to MSG someone, for me it's more spur of the moment based on her pics, profile and my level of interest.

IMO, it's not what to say -- it's what not to say. Some people have clever tricks to generate a response (like a joke, a funny/interesting statement, etc) -- but in the end, if they're not attracted to you or available, that will be the result at the end of the day. To most, it's just like IMing someone. So writing an essay is never a good (overwhelming) idea. It should be more reflective of stepping forward to a gal at a mingling party.

Obviously I am attracted if her if I MSG her, why talk about sexy or cute?

I get what you're saying, but by that rationale why compliment a gal? I wouldn't be writing her if she wasn't deserving of compliments on her looks, so why bother, right? ;) I think the problem with saying she's sexy or cute is that it's probably said to her a thousand times if she's a decent catch online. However, if she gets that from a guy who She thinks is sexy or cute (and almost all guys who write her she's Not attracted to), it may be good to hear. Saying something embedded in a sentence like "I really like your style", IMO, would be more applicable.

Also, it's very rare that I find someone so sexy that it makes an impression on me. Maybe 1 out of 5000.

Well, that'd depend on the intensity of what you'd mean by "impression". I think a "She's really good looking" thought sprung in one's head would be enough, IMO. Wouldn't be 1 out of 5000 when scanning gals 27-40, but more like 1 out of 100-150 (when in a search filtered by age & body type). I think the yellow bikini photo is more of a stunning picture, but IMO, that's not required for a naturally sexy gal (but would help for a gal who's not naturally sexy looking when not revealing).
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 125
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/28/2016 11:20:41 AM

Same happens to us women, if we do not like the man, we do not respond, and it doesn't matter what the message says or how many time he added us in his "favorites".


So you think it's the best use of time for men to cut and paste the same generic MSG to all women he finds attractive, as it doesn't really matter what we say?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 129
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 3/12/2016 3:28:02 PM

This dating stuff is supposed to be fun.


Most people missed that memo.


But it is tough.


Tougher than an overcooked chuck steak.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 130
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 3/12/2016 3:32:57 PM
"This dating stuff is supposed to be fun."



I'm sure it would be if I looked like Channing Tatum or something along those lines but instead...here am I with a drink by my side....alcohol, the girlfriend who never says no
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 132
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 3/12/2016 3:37:40 PM
@goodguy, Post #136, wondering how you "wasted over 20 years" on a website that started up in 2003?

it's now early 2016..somehow the math doesn't seem to add up.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 134
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 3/13/2016 11:29:49 AM
I was just laughing b/c I realized, if I got "Hi, you're cute," I might reply b/c I usually get "Hi your cute." The gentlemen who send the latter are probably fine human beings, and I usually check out the profile if the picture gets no worse than a neutral reaction from me (no point in pursuing anything with someone I'm definitely NOT attracted to). Besides, I make typing mistakes and no one is perfect. But the truth is, "you're" stands out . . .
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 135
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Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 3/13/2016 12:08:00 PM

You shouldn't feel bad about getting no reply from only two messages. Men can send 40 and get nothing. And it hurts.

I don't think one should let it hurt them. When writing a gal, one shouldn't Expect a response. Even if she's not quite in his league. It's not like people delete their profiles once they're on a good date. And with most having it as a cellphone app, them being online can give false impressions. It's Not the same as going up to a girl IRL and saying something and her ignoring. That'd be a very selfish POV. It's closer to finding a business card dropped by a gal walking out of a bar, and emailing her, telling her you saw her at the bar, thought she was cute and thought you'd say hi. Don't Expect responses (or of interest). :)

But 40 is high if all gals have been online within 24 hours. Probably barking up the wrong trees.

There is nothing that you can do to improve the text of your message that will help improve probability of getting a reply.

Pretty much true. It's more about what NOT to say. "What color panties do you wear?" will eliminate almost all chances of response. Just saying "Hi" will lower your chances, but if she thinks you're really cute and you have a fruitful profile, it many times won't have an impact on that individual's chances or responding.

But, technically, if all one cares about is a Response and that's it, one could amp it up a bit -- saying a really funny joke and getting a higher chance of a mere response like "Haha, that's a good one. Good luck in your search!"

This dating stuff is supposed to be fun. But it is tough.

Yeah, but when you're online lobbing messages at girls, or even exchanging messages with girls -- it's not dating, though. Trying to fetch a date with a gal you find attractive isn't supposed to be fun, although it can be. If you're below the average baseline of success in # of messages sent in getting even a half-interested reply -- and there's nothing wacky or completely empty in what you write gals -- likely you're going for girls out of your league. And remember, there's many more guys than gals online, so their stock price is higher than IRL.
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