Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own an      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 24
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

A lot of the time perceived favoritism is thought even when it doesn't exist. Just human nature I guess. That's why if I were to become single again, I would date and even commit and remain monogamous, but I wouldn't cohabitate with someone while they had school age children living at home. Particularly under high school age.


Your choice. (And I don't blame you.)
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 25
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/14/2016 9:43:09 AM
I think the main thing to ask is - do you want more children?

You should have what you want. I think it's nice that you wouldn't mind helping raise your future partners child/children from a previous relationship, but if you want your own, go for it and find what you want.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 26
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/17/2016 5:39:46 AM
why would you date or continue to date someone knowing that you both are looking for something else?

I know at this point in my own life being 47 that I would have no interest in dating a man that still wants children or who has very young kids. My oldest is 23 and married and my youngest is 15 and in high school and I am comfortable being at this stage in my life
 Treyseph84
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 3/18/2016 5:57:11 PM
I don't, I was refering to talking to them online.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/9/2016 7:08:05 AM
There is nothing wrong with being selective when you have choices. You are at an ideal age to have kids...... there are plenty of single women who have not have children yet, and who want them at your age..... in fact, most women want kids. In the end, you only need to find one good one.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 29
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/27/2016 9:45:33 AM
Why would it be wrong to want what you want ?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 30
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/27/2016 10:12:36 PM
It's not wrong to reject anybody who doesn't meet whatever your requirements are. I do it all the time. What's wrong is if someone misrepresents their intentions just to get laid, and then suddenly "changes" their requirements after already being involve with the person.
 Treyseph84
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 2/28/2018 9:50:59 AM
I know this thread is old now, but I feel I should counter statements that I find to be wrong. If you are dating someone you barely know or met online, getting involved with their kids right away or trying to be a parent is putting the cart before the horse. The other way around makes no sense. Single parents should not involve their kids with their dates before establishing an invested relationship first. Otherwise, it’s dangerous for the kids and can Be emotionally overwhelming for both paties. I also people need to realize needs to or even gets to be a full parent to kids. If the kids are older or the ex is still heavily involved, the step parent usually ends as more of a semi-parent that less authority and raising, disciplining, and custody.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/8/2018 7:32:59 PM
Its not wrong at all. I want kids of my own. I always told myself I wouldn't date a single mother as I saw other people who did and they ended up being dads to kids that weren't theres. Having the responsibilities that the deadbeat dad didn't want.

I ended up dating a single mom though ..... It was horrible. I thought i could make it work but in the end i realized i shouldn't have gone against my standards.

Its hard because lots of women in my age range have kids. I did manage to find and have been seeing a woman a couple years younger with no kids so there are some out there, but you do lose like 80 percent of women on POF when you select "no children"

Then there are the women who just dont want kids at all.

Long story short, if you dont want to date a single mom ....dont .
and dont lower your standards because a girl is hot.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 33
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/9/2018 12:38:22 AM
I think the reason that there are so many single moms on pof is because of biology. Women know that fertility peaks in the teen years then begins to fall so there's always a little added pressure to find a man to have kids with as soon as possible. This intensifies in the mid to late 20s and so many women settle with guys that they aren't the most compatible with because of the drive to have babies. So then they end up splitting up from their childrens' fathers. Men don't have the same drive though until later. Men in there 20s often don't care whether they have kids right then or not but men in their mid thirties to mid forties start to really want kids but by then many of the women in their age range already have kids.

My parents separated when I was 12. Both went through a few longterm relationships. Us kids often met the boyfriends or girlfriends pretty early on in the relationships. I asked my mom about this recently, now that I'm grown and she said its because it would have been too difficult to keep a boyfriend and kids separate. Now I'm beginning to see what she means. When time is at a premium, its difficult to make time for both a boyfriend and your kids in separate arenas. Simple logistic like when it comes to sex. If the kids don't go to their dad's ever, there isn't that window so there are no nights you don't have the kids and it's too difficult to spend the night at his place because of the kids so that's what ends up happening. So yes, it would be ideal to wait a long time to introduce both but it might be tough to keep both sides separate.

I have yet to introduce my kids to any guy although my daughter hacked my phone and thought it would be fun to phone the guy I was seeing on the phone because she phoned him and he answered thinking it was me. I didn't even know she knew I was seeing a guy. Kids know though and they want to know more. I don't know when would be a good time to introduce a boyfriend. I don't want to be a bad mother. They have enough problems contending with step-parent drama with their dad. My ex left me because he found a new girlfriend and he brought the girlfriend right into our house to force me to move out which was pretty bad for the kids. They witnessed a lot of fighting that they shouldn't have. And the worst thing was, my spouse had told me on Labour Day (about four days before that) that he was seeing someone else and wanted us to break up and for me to move out but he didn't want to tell the kids until a couple days later because he wanted us to tell our parents first. Well, the next day I worked an evening shift and he and his girlfriend took the kids for a a drive, told them that they were now a couple and that mommy and daddy were splitting up because mommy didn't want to live with daddy anymore. Such an awful ridiculous mess he made with no real concern for my kids. I still am so angry that he did that. I didn't even get to be there to tell my kids and he and his girlfriend framed it in a way that had my kids angry at me and not him for a few weeks. At least when my parents split up, they both sat us down together and told us. I still remember that meeting 22 years later like it was yesterday.And my ex and his girlfriend keep breaking up and telling my kids they are over via Facebook video chat, leaving the kids in tears because they like their dad's girlfriend, more than him actually.
 Kelley300698
Joined: 3/21/2018
Msg: 34
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 4/23/2018 12:30:47 AM
Of course that is not wrong. It is not wrong to reject single moms. However, you are probably dating single moms because they are better looking than the same age women that don't have children that will date you. So it's a trade off. Date single moms or date less attractive women.
 Treyseph84
Joined: 7/17/2012
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?
Posted: 5/24/2018 7:45:49 PM
No, it’s more cause there is a lot of them and they tend to better at responding back. But it usually comes with a catch. But don’t know, there will be be no compromise before I’m 46 on the issue of kids.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Is it wrong to reject single moms if you want children of your own and they don't?