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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > POF is Single Mother HQs      Home login  
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 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 72
POF is Single Mother HQsPage 5 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^ Not a bad idea in theory, but if it's too big it will come off.
 aintnodeal
Joined: 4/10/2016
Msg: 73
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History
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 12:53:26 AM
^^^ Women who CLAIM they have no kids. After a date, you find out:
-- Oh, they live with their dad, grandparents
-- Had kids, gave them up to adoption, or they were taken away by social services
-- "I couldn't change the setting in POF" - begging the question, why did they LIE to begin with?
-- I only have them every-other weekend
-- multiple dogs, cats, or both 3++, all attention on those "babies"
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 74
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 9:14:54 AM
Why would anyone be surprised at this place full of them regardless where you are from. I would find it more surprising if it was HQ for women with no children. It's not like you have a choice but to talk to single mother nowadays, if a person is in 30-40s and no kids you have to wonder as to why. I am trying to think of any person I knew who wasn't a parent by 27 I am at a loss here, most were parents before their 20s.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 75
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 9:47:45 AM
^^Very judgemental of you Nestaron. Not everyone wants or likes children or is able to have children.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 76
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 2:06:25 PM
First of all I think you are troll who hinds behind a bs profile and likes to make judgments on people you know absolutely nothing about. You obviously dont do statistics know anything of mathematical probability or are completely oblivious to what goes on out in the real world.

Fact over 400k divorces have happened in Canada in last 7 yrs, that would mean there is a 50% half of those women ended up here, with that say 75% of those had kids that would be 150k here in Canada are single mothers. 40k are childless max due to infertility, and or lack of wanting them. 10k say hate children. These would be statistics alone in Canada in last 7 yrs not exact but we will close for infertility and no wanting to out weigh single mothers it would take next to a miracle. But you want to think I am judgmental on something I dont know what you will have to show me where these numbers state I judge anything at all.

So go out do the mathematical equation in the states and comeback here and tell me how 876k single females 75% with children every year are getting divorced are not going to be out numbering childless women in here, I really like to know.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 77
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 2:38:32 PM
^Not a troll. Im in a relationship with a very nice man. That is why my profile is what it is. I only post on forums.
I dont care about statistics. You commented about 'wondering why' someone in their 30s or 40s wouldnt have kids. Nothing wrong with not wanting children or not having children. Thats all I said.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 78
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 4:30:06 PM
No you called me judgmental making a statement about someone without any facts or evidence. I said you would have to wonder why they have no kids at that age. not once did I say it was good or bad. You made that assumption all by yourself stating there is nothing wrong with not wanting children, nowhere did I say it was, please show me where I said how wrong it was, guess what you cant, cause I never said it.

Now since you came after me and decided you make a claim on me with your garbage, I am now wondering about why a person in a relationship is here on forums on a dating site.... Hmmm Troll

Why not make a contributing statement to the subject instead attack and looking to get emotional response, starting an argument, and disrupt normal topic discussion .... hmmm Yep definite troll.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 79
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 1/27/2017 4:50:52 PM
No one 'came after you'. Get over yourself. Im not arguing with you , not worth the time.
Plenty of women in relationships use the forums for posting and are not interested in the dating part.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 80
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 2/10/2017 6:52:56 AM

if a person is in 30-40s and no kids you have to wonder as to why. I am trying to think of any person I knew who wasn't a parent by 27 I am at a loss here, most were parents before their 20s.


I know many people that didn't have kids until their late 20s or 30s. As for people in their 30s or 40s that don't have kids, some people don't want kids or can't have kids. Or maybe they wanted to be in marriage first before having kids and they were never married.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 81
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POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 2/10/2017 8:45:51 AM
I'm crumb cruncher free at 51.
 whereizmyluv
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 82
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POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 1:09:22 AM
I wanna say you brought up an interesting point.

I'm just peaking 40 and still trying to break the kidless streak myself. ALOT of women I've dated here and elsewhere, tend to 'imply' they can have kids, but usually ends up revealing they were wrong well into the relationship. In my 20s, I had the teasers that weren't serious and just kept me in the friendzone.

The way I see it, I think the main problem is a generational shift that occurred. We already know the dating game majorly got f'ed up at some point just after 2000, when things became more superficial. If I didn't have hangups in the 80s, I probably would've already been married by now. But in this current age, it feels like a post apocalyptic setting where you have to have something that 'clearly' stands out like you can lead someone to their personal utopia, when that wasn't the case back then. It used to be more about passion building and the whole purpose of wanting to be in a relationship and where to take it.

I miss great relationships like that. But I imagine too many failed relationships have been the norm, so what's left out there is what we deal with. I'd almost go so far as to say POF has become a yardsale these days (and that's putting it nicely since I've heard far far worse from what the well-off upper classes think about the current pool)

Just my 2 cents.... plus a nickel thrown in.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 83
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 3:18:45 AM
A lot of people have kids. That's how they keep the population going!

Kids are extra little people to love you. What's not to like?!
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 84
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 4:58:19 AM

^^^ Women who CLAIM they have no kids. After a date, you find out:
-- Oh, they live with their dad, grandparents
-- Had kids, gave them up to adoption, or they were taken away by social services
-- "I couldn't change the setting in POF" - begging the question, why did they LIE to begin with?
-- I only have them every-other weekend
-- multiple dogs, cats, or both 3++, all attention on those "babies"



begging the question, why did they LIE to begin with?


I've had the exact same thing happen a long time ago when I was on POF for dates. It was weird because I was a father and it wasn't a deal breaker at all that they were a mother. So I often wondered if they thought I was that stupid or they were so stupid they thought everyone else was as stupid as they are?

I know what stretch marks are and what they look like and when someone has them and they are really noticeable how can they look you right in the eye and say that's not what that is?

It makes you wonder because women are often their whole lives expected to lie about their sexual feelings and issues by society and sometimes these things that are sexually involved such as sexual reproduction just carry over from that. If a woman admits to liking certain sexual things she can be deemed a whore and have societal repercussions for certain things. So if society would be less judgemental of women as a whole and let them be themselves this issue would drastically reduce.

The bad part is some of the people hardest on women are other women. So it's a battle that has to be fought on all fronts unfortunately. It's just like you always hear about the single moms this and the single moms that well what about the men that made these children too? We don't hear about them and what makes them any better than the moms really?
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 85
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 3:59:05 PM
jackcrusto- I'm glad a man said it. ^^^^^
It's unreal to me that in this day and age, there are so many people that still have a Madonna/whore complex.
If you are selective and careful, you're a prude. If you decide to go ahead and have casual sex, you're a whore.
Not everyone is like that, of course, but I have little patience with people who are.
Your last two sentences REALLY hit home.
It's nice to see a man acknowledge the double standard.
How is it that it's 2017 and no one bats an eyelash about the idea of a single father dating, but when it's a mother, all of a sudden, there are all these questions?
People have to be careful in this day and age. I get that, I'm in the same situation.
There needs to be some kind of understanding about people's life situation.
One of my least favorite things to see in a profile is the "no drama" statement.
Easier said that done.
If you are a single parent, there's going to be stress.
That's life.
Then there are the profiles that say "My child is my world, they come first, deal with it or don't."
I get that too, up to a point, but where are the people who fall somewhere in the middle?
I'm starting to feel like one of the few people on earth that understands the meaning of compromise.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 86
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 6:55:38 PM
Well forumslady I mean really the truth is the truth. The fact is society as a whole has women so paranoid they actually believe the bullsh!t society puts off on them. We wonder why so many divorces and single parent homes and all these issues society is having and it's because we have backed women into such a corner they don't know which way to go and find themselves telling the lies while actually believing them. It's simply mind boggling insane.

What made me look at it different was a study I was looking at about porn. They would wrap a device around a man's penis and put porn on a tv in front of him. They had another device that he could control by hand and it had 1-10. So the more turned on he got by the porn the higher the number he would put the device to and they measured the penis at the same time. It was incredibly accurate.

So they had another device for a woman's vagina and it measured all sorts of sh!t like how lubricated she got to color changes and such and gave her a 1-10 device to operate with her hand. The whole time she is watching porn claiming on her hand device she isn't turned on a bit. Her vagina monitor is going off the charts and it was the opposite it was incredibly inaccurate. These women and it was like all of them or almost all of them were not being purposefully deceptive they really believed they were not turned on but they had so many societal pressures put on them throughout their life they actually believed their own bullsh!t or rather societies bullsh!t.

I mean can you imagine being that far out of tune with your body and who you are as a person due to these outside sources? Well I mean of course you can you're a woman but I'm having a hard time dealing with the idea of what we are all doing to our poor women and how we are making their lives a living hell. It must be some sort of issue that huge and needs to be solved immediately and it's so big I can't even figure out where to begin.

Yet you look on these forums and you see it all the time non stop and you're like WTH. Not just from the men though the women too. It's like yes women like d!ck and d!ck gets women pregnant so let's dog her out for being a straight woman that likes****but say nothing about the man that liked p*ssy enough to make the same child. It makes no sense and let's give her enough sh!t she has to lie her whole life to everyone to the point she forgets the actual truth. Jesus when does it end already leave these poor ladies alone already. How do we even begin to undo the damage done here?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 87
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History
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 8:13:57 PM
Update: Still crumb cruncher free at 52...
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 88
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 8:35:37 PM

Update: Still crumb cruncher free at 52...


Happy birthday man.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 89
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 10:53:52 PM
Jackcrusto- You just opened a can of worms that could get me in "write a book" mode.
It goes back a long way, a lot of it has to do with religion. I won't say any more about that. I don't want the church crowd after me. I'm a heathen. ;)
I used to be seriously repressed, I had an old fashioned upbringing that would make Catholic school look like child's play.
With age, hopefully comes wisdom.
I finally realized it's my life and to heck with what other people think. I'm not fully cured, but I'm close.
Some men just don't know what to make of me.
They'll say, "oh, I want a woman who knows I'm not a mind reader. I want someone who will tell me what they want." Then they meet me and all of a sudden I can tell the reality of actually meeting someone like that is not what they want after all.
I swear to you, it's aggravating as heck.
I love it when I meet men who appreciate how I am, that actually means it when they say they truly like a woman who speaks her mind.
The problem I'm running into is they are either married, or if they are here on POF, they are too far away. I can't seem to find one in my area to save my life.
Oh well, tough luck. ((SHRUGS))

@cooldog- Happy Birthday! :)
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 90
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/3/2017 10:55:08 PM
We'ere in our thirties, there are going to be lots of people with children.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 91
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/4/2017 7:56:33 AM

a lot of it has to do with religion.


That makes sense but men are so immune to it is what doesn't really make sense. Of course in religion men are taught they are better than women and such so it could be them being taught they are special to them that makes the difference.


I used to be seriously repressed


I use to be religious but never sexually repressed seemed like to me men have earlier sexual peak so masterbation coming into it earlier nothing was going to stop that. So men with the hormones flooding didn't take that part of the doctrine that seriously because nothing was going to stop them from at least having sex with themselves. Women got a later sexual peak so maybe that is the factor that makes the difference?

I unindoctrinated myself about 5 years ago so I'm not religious at all anymore as a matter of fact I'm atheist now.


I finally realized it's my life and to heck with what other people think. I'm not fully cured, but I'm close.
Some men just don't know what to make of me.


Good. Go for full recovery. That's a good thing and it don't matter what anyone thinks because these men aren't going to change how they do business I promise you and no woman should change how she does business on how anyone else other than she thinks.


They'll say, "oh, I want a woman who knows I'm not a mind reader. I want someone who will tell me what they want." Then they meet me and all of a sudden I can tell the reality of actually meeting someone like that is not what they want after all.


Oh sh!t I think you found a man's version of indoctrination and lying to themselves. That he actually said what he meant and feels guilty when he gets it because it feels so good to have it that it makes him feel internally guilty for having it. That is what they want and they are like a teenager that doesn't know what to do with it when they got it. They may not realize it even themselves and the men have lied to themselves the same way women in their position although different lie to themselves. That is crazy you just blew my mind girl.


The problem I'm running into is they are either married, or if they are here on POF, they are too far away. I can't seem to find one in my area to save my life.


As a man I'm going to be honest here and give you what I think you should try. What I want you to try is to manipulate the situation to your benefit. Now most if not all men do want this so he don't have to be fully on board with you he just has to be open to making a change. He has to be open to stop feeling guilty about liking it. Just try to feel those guys out and gauge the one you like that is the best candidate. I'm not asking you to lie or hide who you are I'm just suggesting you be slower on the unveiling of who you are and realise it's not you it's them. It's the societal expectations put on them that is the issue so you got to change your game a bit is all.

It's kind of like you are a guy that is into anal and you are dating women and when you have sex with them you just try to jam it in their azz. When they aren't receptive to it the anal guy says next. Right? What I'm saying is you don't need a new chick (dude in this case) all chicks like anal but you don't just jam it in you work it with the pinky and then move up slowly after several sexual escapades and one day boom you are able to jam it in like you always wanted. Kind of get it?

So these dudes all like anal but don't just jam it in their azz is what I'm saying pick one out you like and start with the pinky. You're the predator and they are the prey only they don't know it and you are hunting their azzes.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 92
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/4/2017 2:45:55 PM
jackcrusto- That was, um, informative. :0
That's not quite what I meant.
Yes, I'm much more forthcoming and not at all the type to play games. but I'm not a predator.
I'm not collecting men's hides or anything.
What I meant is that men, a lot of the time, come across women that if they ask "Where do you want to go?" The response is "oh, I don't care, or whatever you want is fine."
Or the kind of timidity that some women display that they are either wishy washy, or won't give a straight answer.
Also, even though I'm a talker, if I get asked a yes or no question, I'm not the kind to launch into a 5 minute dialogue. I answer yes or no.
Again, like we were talking about in the other thread, that goes back to my childhood, growing up with almost all boys. I have a younger brother that is so close in age to me that we are the same age when he has his birthday in July until I have mine in August. Plus, my grand father was old school, he was bound and determined not to raise a wimpy girl.
What I'm saying is that some men make a lot of talk about wanting a woman like me, but the reality of it sometimes throws them off.
They ask a direct question, they get a direct answer. The ask me where I want to go, I tell them. You would think as much as men say they want that, they would be ok. Some of them just aren't.
That book Steve Harvey wrote, act like a woman, think like a man, that's me.
I'm not going to click with a knuckle dragger, or a wimp either.
It's going to take a man that truly means it when he says he wants someone like me, for something to work out.
Someone who is equally confident and strong, that is sure of himself.
Not everyone holds the double standard we already discussed.
It's going to take me meeting someone who doesn't think that way.
 Jackcrusto
Joined: 2/27/2017
Msg: 93
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/4/2017 8:57:55 PM

but I'm not a predator.


Hey you are either the predator or the prey and there is nothing wrong with either.lol


I'm not collecting men's hides or anything.


You could make a man butt coat. lmao

Hey look all I'm saying is if the dude is making a weird poopy face when you do your thing maybe back it off a hair and work him into it. You gotta train em. You don't expect your dog to sit up, roll over and play dead the first day you adopt him and bring him home. Some sh!t takes time. :)
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 94
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POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/4/2017 9:35:36 PM
13. If he is a NBA player, don't have kids with him...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 95
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History
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/5/2017 1:31:20 AM
Thanks for the birthday wishes, but my birthday was in February. My post back in February was just a few days before my birthday.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 96
POF is Single Mother HQs
Posted: 6/6/2017 11:58:48 PM
Same for me OP, What has society come to? Too many women made bad choices and did not take responsibility of their bodies and avoid getting pregnant, by using contraception...now they have kids and are single...not very appealing when you think about it? no stable family for the kid and they are looking for a guy, to become a daddy, to some other guys kids and pay for them? It's a fools world

If a guy wants to be number one on the woman's list of priorites, then a single mother will never be the right choice...fact
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