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 homemakerwoman
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 26
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out alreadyPage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)


Ms. Homemakerwoman.....

I absolutely adore the honesty in your profile!

Use that same directness in your messages and like others said...create messaging limits and that should solve the problem!

Best wishes for your dating success! :D




VVVVV Woo Hoo! Mr. OHenry! Congrats! Hope you have fun!
And I agree...people can make dating much more complicated than it is. :)



Thanks Sweetie! Being honest is not always the popular thing to do but it has helped me out in the "weeding process". People either really love it or really hate it. There is no in between and I don't plan to change a thing about it. If men are allowed to say " I want nothing serious" and "I just want to have fun at your house" on their profiles, I should be allowed to put what ever the heck I want on mine. :)
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 27
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 1:45:38 PM
Stellan,
People who are successful in dating (or in their career) tend to think of what works and how can I prove myself, rather than "This is not my job."
 homemakerwoman
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 28
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 2:03:06 PM

Like it or not, it is not a man's responsibility to pursue a woman.


It is also not my responsibility to reply to endless inbox messages that go no where. Don't just send me "Hi" or " how are you" everyday for several weeks. Ask me something about myself that will help you determine if you want to take this offline and on a DATE. I'm not online to help you pass the time. Poo or get off the pot.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 29
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 3:05:26 PM

Ask me something about myself that will help you determine if you want to take this offline and on a DATE.

Because it's online messaging through text - we have no idea what they may be thinking or feeling at the time. There's no nonverbal cues or eye contact, there's no stress or emphasis or emotions in texted words that can be read correctly. It is NOT the same as texting a buddy or a BFF or anyone else that already knows who you are - this is an internet stranger, who sees a few photos and reads a few sentences, and decides to take a chance.

From my perspective - Women are absolutely, positively, (pardon my French) horsesh1t about telling a guy what they are feeling while still online - what they read into a message through online texting. Part of the reason why - is both genders get so wrapped up in their own communication styles that they can't even think through the idea that someone may be able to read their text in a different context. The next three words we type may make you fall in love, or may be the last three words you ever read - *POOF* ghosted - blocked profile - gone. No reason or explanation is ever given by ghosts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The ironic part of a lot of online conversations, is that we can't even START a conversation - without an invite. "Hi" messages get dismissed, but sending an invite on the very FIRST message to go out to a specific place and time - gets a reply because they sound confident and decisive. The insanity starts after that invite - because instead of accepting it and actually planning a real date - an online 'conversation' begins - that stupid Q&A done to basically find flaws - a way to back out or to NOT say 'Yes'.

The crux of the argument with online messaging is the 'ghosting' factor. Every woman in here has a different patience threshold, a different set of cues that tell a guy whether or not to ask her out. Too soon, they bail, too late, they bail. WE HAVE NO FREAKING CLUE where that line may be - and it IS different for every single person out there.

Try sending the message - "So... are we going to do this?" And kick start their motivation to go beyond idle chit-chat. Just remember; it's gotta be a TEXT que written out in actual words - not done with 'sarcasm' or body language or any other references that has nothing to do with words typed on a screen.
 cookymaker
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 30
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 3:21:47 PM
homemakerwoman..
I am sorry to see all the profile reviews. You can't get what you are looking for by putting up a front. You were UP FRONT and honest. It may narrow down prospects, but at least it helps weed through them ahead of time

I have had a few who sent endless messages with no date in sight and they eventually fade away.
One in particular - we messaged several times a day - he was so entertaining, I looked forward to them
Over a year later, we still message almost everyday but now...we have also spent time together in person
So,, some may want to engage you in emails to make sure you like them for them....but that is usually not the case.
If I can't get them to write more than one word, one sentence conversations,, I stop answering them.

SLAFFA -
I do live in a one horse neighborhood. He broke out of his fence a couple of years ago - took a donkey with him. Found them just strolling down the road. I ran and got a neighbor, blocked the road with my car so no one would accidentally hit them or we could be a horseless one horse town . I kept waiting for the donkey to talk
I wish I was kidding....
But even though it's a one horse town (actually 3 now) there are country dances, bingo.. yeehaw.
There are ways to met people
even way out in the sticks - just not as easy as in more populated areas
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 31
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 3:29:37 PM


I don't even think


No, you don't.



Eternity could say this wasn't someone just putting a price tag on herself.


I don't recall the OP putting her reproductive rights and choices up for sale, in her post, though.

Maybe you should spend a lot more time working on your raging jealousy and no more time on what other women do with their bodies, their relationships, their money, and their families.
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 32
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 4:50:28 PM
^^. I'm sure it's something you would consider. Stay at home and be paid for. I guess it's a good gig if you can get it.

It's International Women's Day. Smart women marched and worked hard, really hard for us to have equal pay, to be in charge of our own bodies, to walk side by side with men and not a step behind or be subservient, to share a home and child rearing and enjoy retirement benefits and pensions and healthcare. We fought to be equal. I don't see men on here "selling" themselves like I do a few women.

I can disagree with your opinion and you can disagree with mine. I don't much care. So yup, you and the OP are much and the same. But I'm not for sale, so piss off.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 33
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 5:12:41 PM
Nah, don't need a man to pay my bills. Can progress to pushing me around before I know it. Women flee mansions for shelters.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 34
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 5:17:49 PM

Don't waste weeks and weeks messaging, if they are moving fast to get a date lined up move on.
Too many time vampires on here.
Are you hitting up Men you find appealing? Might be an easier solution that being passive and waiting for them to contact you.


Apparently not because women who do that are hos apparently. So she'll just sit back and complain and talk about guys not taking the initiative instead of you know moving forward with her dating life.

Personally speaking I want to meet as quickly as possible, hell I've met girls the same day we started messaging each other, other females want to wait awhile and then nothing happens even if it seems like we're hitting off in message form. Thing is it can't be forced. Time Suckers aren't fun but having the attitude of "I'm a woman do everything for me" isn't going to work in online dating. The people who online date are typically not going to be your traditionalists and instead of shitting of those non-traditionalists in a forum in which a guy she's talking to more than likely isn't reading, she could communicate that with them instead of complaining to us and calling us losers and weak men for believing in shit like equality.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 35
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 7:32:00 PM

Well, this thread isn't really about who should be the first to ask someone out or the OP's profile, she didn't ask for a review.


"Who asks whom out" is related to the topic. When people suggest a woman can ask a man out as a possible solution, some women will insist that they are "traditional" and want a man to ask them out. I'm not telling the OP what to write in her profile. But reading her profile can give some insight about why she feels a certain way.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 36
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 9:19:55 PM
Of course it is. (I keep abreast of global news and events.)


Smart women marched and worked hard...


Smart women don't refer to other women as "whores" and "prostitutes" for exercising their right to choose, exercising dating autonomy, arranging their families and work lives for their particular situation as they see fit; marching for causes they believe in; learning ways to communicate for themselves that work best for them. Smart women don't ignore the cultural differences (for one) that prevail in topics of equality; smart women carve out a life for themselves and support that with their ingenuity; smart women don't make excuses for men's bad behavior and blame other women for it.

You attempt to control and silence those women whom don't match your idea about equality and goose-step (march) to your dictates (rather unsuccessfully, for the most part). I have seen enough of this superior shit among other alleged equal-rights supporters for years in my years as an activist to render me with utter disgust. I have personally witnessed so-called equal rights activists actually work against the very ideals they support. I have personally seen so-called "equal rights" warriors that block out the voices and complaints of women of color in an academic setting, brilliant women who challenged control-freakish professors who were hell-bent in excluding those voices, because of some nasty perception about her race, sexuality, her political views, etc. Do me a favor and save me this "I believe in equal rights" shit you allegedly espouse.
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 37
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 9:27:30 PM
This bears repeating .


I can disagree with your opinion and you can disagree with mine. I don't much care. So yup, you and the OP are much and the same. But I'm not for sale, so piss off.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 38
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 9:44:36 PM
I got a new match on Tinder last night. This morning, I sent her an initial message. Two hours and a half dozen messages later, we have a date for a casual dinner this evening.

Why do so many people make this so complicated? It doesn’t have to be, doesn’t need to be.

---


Don't you love Tinder? At least you have control over who gets to message you. I'm setting up a few dates on Tinder for this weekend. Yes, it really shouldn't be that complicated.
 B1tch_My_Feet_Hurt
Joined: 3/5/2016
Msg: 39
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 9:54:18 PM

I'm sure it's something you would consider. Stay at home and be paid for. I guess it's a good gig if you can get it.

It's every woman's right to decide, and yes some can get the gig, so who is anyone to decide other than the 2 consenting adults?


It's International Women's Day. Smart women marched and worked hard,

If they worked hard, IMO they were not so smart. My last employer was a very cagey female who taught me, don't work HARDER, WORK SMARTER, WORK MORE EFFICIENTLY.

really hard for us to have equal pay, to be in charge of our own bodies, to walk side by side with men and not a step behind or be subservient,

To be in charge of one's own body would include what we eat & accepting our shape/size & not shaming other women by calling them chubby or "carb addicts" etc. We each can choose where we want to walk & if we want a submissive or dominant role w/ our men

to share a home and child rearing and enjoy retirement benefits and pensions and healthcare.

again we each choose if we want to share our home or have a child or not

We fought to be equal.

Equal right under the law, in the workplace, in the educational arena, not in the bedroom, we are not a homogenized, non-polarized species of hermaphrodites

I don't see men on here "selling" themselves like I do a few women.

I see a few men doing such & they are ineffectual & non-relationship material.


But I'm not for sale

seems pretty clear to me you are not...

I don't care if you want to be "equal" or dress like a man or are a man, maybe pretending to be a woman, or like that old movie, Victor/Victoria, I don't care if you are a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.

The truth is a man will never know what it is like to go through life as a woman, even if he has gender re-assignment surgery like Caitlyn, or vice versa. A cis-gendered woman has experienced life as a female from birth.

No we will never be "equal" but hopefully we will have equal rights on the job, in school & under the law.


Smart women don't refer to other women as "whores" and "prostitutes" for exercising their right to choose, exercising dating autonomy, arranging their families and work lives for their particular situation as they see fit; marching for causes they believe in; learning ways to communicate for themselves that work best for them.

Last Hook is correct, this poster attempts to oppress & suppress any woman who has an iota of sexuality/estrogen in them. Sour grapes!
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 40
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 10:03:04 PM
^^^ Who made you queen of the forums?
 B1tch_My_Feet_Hurt
Joined: 3/5/2016
Msg: 41
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 10:11:27 PM

Who made you queen of the forums?


Go the fvck to sleep...
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 42
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 10:52:42 PM
You know, I had a happy marriage until death 30 years later.. A great marriage where we were partners, he'll we even had a business together for a dozen years. Yes, I did most of the kids stuff and he looked the vehicles but we both put money into the back and paid the paid the bills. BOTH of us felt respected and loved, laughed, shared and neither of us kept notes as to who gave more. But we shared right from the start and other than the two years with kids, my earnings went into the family pot.

When I read some of the shit on here about how some women should get special treatment because she went through the whole ("gestation period to produce a son for him" or somemofnthe other friggin crap from the poor me folks...men included, I shake my head. IMO, how a few of these women date...they are selling what they're sitting on. One spent a paragraph listed all she'd done to "earn" that engagement ring. Are you still that angry about a portion of your life you spent with someone you loved, who was in your thoughts, your mind, your heart and your body? Still angry? He's gone for a reason...your reasons and his reasons.

No one mentions love. No one mentions what they are prepared to give while dating let alone a relationship or marriage. Except the OP, she has stated unequivocally that she'll look after him, he pays.

And you know what BA, a woman will never know what it's like to go through the life as a man. I think we have it easier. JMO.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 43
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 10:58:20 PM
^^^You must be a man to hate women so much.
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 44
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/8/2016 11:10:11 PM
I don't know why you'd think that. Why would I hate women? That's stupid thing to say. I hate murderers and rapists and terrorists and racists. And I have many gal pals. I have many guy friends too. Dear friends, one I have dinner with every Sunday night and I've had some since high school. My Dad taught me to go for what I wanted, that I was no different than my brothers. And I always thought that a vagina, PMS and menopause were no excuse for poor behaviour or special treatment. I don't believe that Mars and Venus crap. Just be a good person, a human being. You know, I can go all gaga over a new pair of shoes or the new Coach purse I bought but I can't go all girly, girl and act all weak and stupid for some guy.

Next time I'll post some assumptions I have about you.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 45
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:09:24 AM
Yeah, the above sounds like a man. Very unoriginal stereotypes about women put in a "woman's" mouth. Hmm
 woodnymph4
Joined: 2/15/2016
Msg: 46
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 6:32:26 AM
^^^. I'd put a photo up but some people keep having it removed. Or the use it to search and post personal info on here. Funny how that works, women do shit like that, men don't. I still have all my lady bits.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 47
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:00:25 AM
OP: You were direct and clear in your profile regarding what you expected from men. Why not also be clear about the endless messages. This is what I have in my profile




I don’t have an interest in chatting on the internet (it’s just not my thing, I don’t Facebook, Twitter). So, if there is a mutual curiosity let’s exchange a few e-mails, chat on the phone and then meet for a drink - (dutch!)
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 48
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 7:55:24 AM

I don't understand why people waste so much time on here sending endless messages that do not lead to a date. If you're not here to date, why did you join a dating website? I'm tired of messaging back and forth for weeks and it leads to nothing but more messages and more messages. I'm here to DATE.


There are too many folks out there who misrepresent themselves. Some are in boring relationships; they use these dating sites to entertain themselves chatting with strangers with no hope of ever meeting anyone.

I prefer to meet the sooner the better. Last summer, I met my girlfriend the next day after we exchanged emails. I agree with you, texting and messaging endlessly is a waste of time.

This is what I have in my profile:

Please Note: I am not looking for a pen pal, a lot of people use the internet as recreation and are not interested in actually meeting in person. Looks are a big part of attraction, and I don't like talking to faceless strangers. No picture, no reply.
 homemakerwoman
Joined: 1/22/2015
Msg: 49
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stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 8:56:47 AM

OP: You were direct and clear in your profile regarding what you expected from men. Why not also be clear about the endless messages. This is what I have in my profile





I prefer to meet the sooner the better. Last summer, I met my girlfriend the next day after we exchanged emails. I agree with you, texting and messaging endlessly is a waste of time.

This is what I have in my profile:


Please Note: I am not looking for a pen pal, a lot of people use the internet as recreation and are not interested in actually meeting in person. Looks are a big part of attraction, and I don't like talking to faceless strangers. No picture, no reply.


Thank you both for the suggestions. I will be sure to let them know to only contact me with the intent to go out on an actual date. This should cut down on all of the non-productive messages. :)
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 50
stop with the endless messages and ask me out already
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:14:45 AM
Miss Princess Homemaker,

I am baffled as to why men aren't asking you out.
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