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 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 51
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Should I simply give up on dating?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Sweet_Danimal said:
I think you gotta start dating WITHOUT sex. Seriously. Stop thinking about getting laid. Enjoy the company of the woman. Enjoy the conversation. Enjoy holding each other WITHOUT trying to figure out how to get to second base. Not only accept the fact you may be going home alone tonight - be WILLING to do so.

The spot on a woman's body that drives her insane with passion - is her mind. It's not about having sex that makes her 'sexy' - it's the idea that they know you want it, despite being a gentleman who won't push it. It gives women that respect, that kind of confidence that is the best aphrodisiac. Just keep in mind, you still need to have compatibility in other aspects of your relationship, or you won't even get close enough for a kiss.


I like the way you think! Wish more men thought the same way :)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 52
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/9/2016 11:16:15 PM
geekgrrrl- Oh, good Lord in Heaven, YES, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus.
Seriously though, this HAS to take, maybe #1, and that is a BIG deal, considering I have been here 5 years, as THE best answer EVER given by a man! :) ( Thank you, Sweet Danimal, I mean that, THANK YOU ! )
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 53
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 9:42:43 AM
The flip side of being that 'understanding' about women - is that you gotta freakin' agree to see someone in REAL LIFE so they CAN be a gentleman. So many in here don't get the chance, because bad assumptions are made and snap judgements happen based on a hunch or nothing more than a spelling mistake or a bad edit in a profile. Being a noble gentleman is not tough to do - but if you keep picking azzhats to date FIRST, that's not OUR fault - and it definitely does NOT mean the next guy is going to be the exact same. EVERYone needs to learn to drop those pretenses when they meet someone new - but we are miserable creatures of habit - both in what we do, and what we assume is true.

The very core of the female/male relationship is sex and reproduction - it always has been - so, it's there, OK? Just stop DWELLING on it and learn to use your higher cognitive powers to have some fun.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 54
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 10:42:00 AM

Sweet Danimal because condoms never fail right? Oh that's right, tell that to one of my friends who got a girl pregnant and now has child support payments. He used a condom that night, it failed.

Extreme chances are, he didn't put it on right. The biggest fat lie unwanted prego couples will tell ya is "I used a condom, and it didn't work!"

I would still use a condom to prevent getting an STD but using a condom along with getting a vasectomy means I can truly have sex with no worries.

Yeah, but if you're using a good brand condom that fits your jimmy well, tested well by you, and put on right -- it's going to prevent getting a gal prego just as good as a vasectomy. The REAL issue is *not* putting the condom on the Whole time, being drunk/tipsy, taking it off for the money shot (but, oops, didn't time it so well!) and letting things "slide". Sure, the vasectomy comes in handy there -- absolutely. But as far as the STD thing is concerned, not so much (vasectomy plays no role in that).

The vasectomy will work good when the gal empties the juices out of the condom and tries to manually apply it. Instead of freaking out when you catch her doing that you can laugh out loud and say to her "Hahahah! That will do you no good! I had a vasectomy! FAIL!" ;)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 55
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 12:21:29 PM
1) get the vasectomy. Learn about STD's and how to avoid them. Figure out why you can't get women turned on now. Learn about dental dams. A great way to get laid is to focus on her orgasm. Few women are selfish enough not to want to return the favor, and walk away with you thinking they couldn't get you off.

2)skip the PUA classes, go to Cliff's List and get started for free. Most PUAs will tell you looks don't matter, but they will teach you how to know when a woman's attracted. Well, if you create attraction, why do you need to know what it looks like? that's like teaching you how to make spaghetti dinner or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, then teach you how to identify either one when you're done making it. You only need to know what attraction is in a woman, b/c it has to be there first before PUA tactics have a chance to work. so, don't blow the cash when you can get the tips for free.

3)dating is one of the weirdest things in life, in that the way to get good at it is to NOT devote your life to it. The harder you try to do a sport, the better you get at it. The harder you try to date...the more desperate you look, and the harder it gets to be good at it. the best way to get a date is to be good looking and be interested in doing other things in life...and the single ladies will come onto you. when they don't have to defend against your attempts, they have room to make their own moves on you.

4)at your age, by the time you've sewn the wild oats...you'll be too old to safely have a baby. Chances are, 40 yr old women won't be turned off you can't risk giving them a child with issues, or be too old to throw a football around with them.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 56
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 3:14:06 PM
Looks don't matter? that is bullcrap. Sexual attraction depends on appearances largely but not wholly.
Of course a guy with money, charm and confidence can overcome a homely face and a not so great body, to an extent.
A skinny little guy with a high voice, for instance, an ordinary job, an ordinary car or no car, can have all the pick up lines in the world but it wont help him win the hot girls he wants.
 ForeverTexas25
Joined: 1/18/2015
Msg: 57
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 4:05:32 PM
You should ask yourself if what you eventually want is a relationship with one woman, or if you want to stay single and sleep around. If you want to eventually get married, then maybe hold off on having the vasectomy, or try to find a woman that doesn't want kids. If you want to sleep around with different women for the rest of your life then I'd say have the operation so that you know for sure you won't get anyone pregnant.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 58
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 7:06:24 PM

I think you gotta start dating WITHOUT sex. Seriously. Stop thinking about getting laid. Enjoy the company of the woman. Enjoy the conversation.


Haven't we had a couple of threads started by women about this?

The guy hasn't made a move, and she wonders why, and people start suggesting he's gay or has e.d.?

No way to win, is there?


The spot on a woman's body that drives her insane with passion - is her mind.


Yes, that's where they dream up all the fantasies that they don't follow through with out in the real world.
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 59
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/10/2016 7:22:09 PM
OP, yes you should stop dating...at least stop dating women !!!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 60
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 1:54:47 AM

When I say this I'm being serious. I've had so little luck on here and so much frustration I'm really considering giving up. I probably get responses 1 out of every 25 or 30 women I contact. Even the ones that do respond it typically goes nowhere. I've been on here for over a year now and had 4 dates, only 2 of which went pretty well. Both of those dates though I got the "oh I enjoyed the date and do like you but I don't feel anything, I just want to be friends", so basically I got friend zoned. One of those girls I have stayed friends with, the other I have not.


Dude, it's normal to barely get any responses. If you put some work into your profile and the kind of messages you're sending, your rate can go way higher though. You have to be actually willing to learn and admit you're not good at building attraction with women. The good news is there's so much free information available at your fingertips with the internet, you have a huge advantage. I'll help you fix your profile and messages if you need help. I'm sure others will help too.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 61
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 3:42:58 AM

The flip side of being that 'understanding' about women - is that you gotta freakin' agree to see someone in REAL LIFE so they CAN be a gentleman. So many in here don't get the chance, because bad assumptions are made and snap judgements happen based on a hunch or nothing more than a spelling mistake or a bad edit in a profile. Being a noble gentleman is not tough to do - but if you keep picking azzhats to date FIRST, that's not OUR fault - and it definitely does NOT mean the next guy is going to be the exact same. EVERYone needs to learn to drop those pretenses when they meet someone new - but we are miserable creatures of habit - both in what we do, and what we assume is true.


Great statement.
It's really a shame that a good many women won't heed this advice, and take the plunge.

I just love having to defend myself, over assumptions of what I might do, because of my sex. I have been told, in the past that I hate women. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I like them very much. It's men that I despise, and don't get along with. You ladies pick asshats, find out that they have an agenda that you don't want or like, and then throw a blanket over all of us, saying that we're all the same.

Consider this ladies-That asshat will do the same to me if I give him the chance. Why he doesn't, is because I won't deal with him. Or give him the time of day. That sweet talking, good looking guy, is up to something. He'll give me a screwing over, faster, than he would you.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 62
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 4:19:19 AM

That sweet talking, good looking guy, is up to something. He'll give me a screwing over, faster, than he would you

Well...So, am I to assume all good looking people are asshats and out to screw you over?
I hope you realize this HUGE generalization just isn't true.
I've been screwed over by more of the unethical looking people than the so called "good looking" type.
Looks may have something to do with a persons personality BUT.....the ugly people shine through pretty easy...imo.
The guy that I thought was...gorgeous, hot, good looking to me.....treated me the best ever.......!!!!!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 63
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 6:15:58 AM
theoretically, a good looking person doesn't need to screw us over...we're happy to give them what they want (attention or whatever). If they don't give us what we want in return, then we just...try harder. we might be too focused on the good feelings we want, to judge the other person.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 64
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 6:52:29 AM

Last week I asked him at bible study if aethiests and agnostics get into heaven. He was not sure.


It's quite simple. They go to Hartfield-Jackon International. The bad agnostics and atheist go to the baggage claim but never get their bags. The good ones are taken to the the consession areas where they get to eat and buy whatever they want for eternity.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 65
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 9:25:16 AM
fullmoonguy...


No way to win, is there?


No - there's no way to win - if you're approaching it as a game that can be won or lost.

Vasectomy - if YOU don't ever want kids, then get a vasectomy.

Condoms - Failure rate of 18% for the typical user, 2% for perfect use. I'm assuming that each % of blood alcohol probably lowers that 18% by a significant margin.

Purple...


You ladies pick asshats, find out that they have an agenda that you don't want or like, and then throw a blanket over all of us, saying that we're all the same.

Hey, don't throw a blanket over all use women! I'd pick you over 99.9999% of the men here on POF even if I had made assumptions about you. And, trust me, I've made assumptions about every one of you who posts here. We all have.

Making assumptions is what people do. Instead of Homo sapiens, we should be H. generalis. Humans generalize about everything, we make stereotypes. Life is complicated and assumptions - however wrong or right - make life easier. The first two times I ate at Applebeeee's, I got sick. I don't go there anymore. The men who have most often screwed me over have been blonde. I don't date blonde men - of course, these days it's mostly a choice of greying or balding. But, so long as they're not blonde. :-)


Consider this ladies-That asshat will do the same to me if I give him the chance. Why he doesn't, is because I won't deal with him. Or give him the time of day. That sweet talking, good looking guy, is up to something. He'll give me a screwing over, faster, than he would you.

Very true. People who use women would also use men and vice versa. There are different 'hussles' for men and women but the lack of morals and ethics of these people is the same. That's why, when looking over photos or meeting a person, their outward appearance must match what they've posted or written about themselves or I'm gone. I don't date men who've posted onandonandon about how terrible women are or who constantly whine about gold-digging dinner whores. A hint of 'whoa, what's going on?' in my brain and I start paying attention.

Some people are simply so desperate in some way (lonely, need/want sex or cuddling, need/want a paycheck to help with their living expenses, need/want someone to help with raising their kids, etc.) that they ignore the information they're getting that this person is only them.

As for giving up on dating...
No.
But, don't limit your criteria to OLD only.
Don't limit your criteria to you idea of 'perfection' (not saying don't date where you aren't attracted) but determine if it is your preference or your need to date a wealthy man or a perfect 10 woman.





 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 66
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 10:28:21 AM
For Gods sake, man, get a blowup doll and be done with it. If you are just looking for a hole to stick your wanker in, a blow up doll is the simplest way to go.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 67
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 10:30:59 AM
^^^^^ You're not giving women much credit if you seriously think a blow up doll is just as good
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 68
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 11:32:47 AM
well, if you're wearing plastic, then I guess it all feels the same down there :)

I get that most well-adjusted women don't want to feel as tho they are just a receptacle for a man's, um, need. But some human females are sensual creatures, and as we close in on the 14th day of the month and some of them are ovulating, and might feel more flirty as their body tells them its time to feel spring coming on,they might be more interested in the company of a fellow who is fun. maybe he's fun to go out with, fun to date, fun to dance with, and if they get caught up in it, they might wonder if he's fun to make out with, as well.

but he likely isn't fun if he has only one goal in mind...to use her for his release. sex shouldn't be the end goal, it should be a means to an end. be more than just the life support for the organ going into her....or be really good looking :)
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 69
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 11:35:48 AM
I want to be a blow up doll!
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 70
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 11:45:44 AM

You're not giving women much credit if you seriously think a blow up doll is just as good


Some men don't want everything a woman has, they only want one thing a woman has... which can be mimicked.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 71
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 12:11:56 PM
"Some men don't want everything a woman has, they only want one thing a woman has... which can be mimicked"




Forgive me , but I'm VERY skeptical that a blow up doll's thingy feels even remotely as good as the real deal.

Besides, I'd bet most guy that only want that thing also want to feel actual FLESH against their body - some even enjoy KISSING a REAL MOUTH.

No really , it's true !
I'm not shitting you !
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 72
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Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 12:12:28 PM
1. The Catholic Church considers any type of Birth Control with an exception of the Rhythm Method to be a 'sin' and that includes a vasectomy.
2. Condoms on their own are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy. Used in combination with a Spermicide it brings the average up even higher.
Look around your local Catholic Church, you will notice that there are not many families with 5 kids like there used to be. So you are hardly the only one trying to prevent pregnancy. Talk to your Dr, the procedure is simple and you will be back on your feet within a day or two.

And change your profile, because you are a mass of contradictions. Your profile should tell women who you are and exactly what you want. Mentioning your faith in a dating profile will make someone believe that it is HIGHLY important to you, otherwise you would not bring it up in a two paragraph description. If you are looking to party then just say that, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a good time.
But don't profess to be a good catholic boy if you are really looking for FWB or one night stands because that is lying..... and last time I checked, a sin as well.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 73
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 12:44:12 PM
They delivered my doll to the neighbor and the neighbor signed for it.

I'm embarrassed to ask for it back...
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 11/29/2015
Msg: 74
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 1:32:41 PM
Message #72 is giving you sound advice OP~

At 32 you are young, and should have an active social life. Join a few interest groups within your demographic to help meet new people. Spend more time doing things off the internet. Online dating is tough, and obviously has given your self esteem a beating. Take a community college class that you find interesting, or volunteer some free time to a worthy cause that moves you. You live in Florida for crying out loud! Get out of your usual "box".
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 75
Should I simply give up on dating?
Posted: 3/11/2016 1:55:31 PM
Whatsa you look like you were very `surprised`when your profile pic was taken..mouth agape..
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