Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 51
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pofPage 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
^ I learned something about this attitude many years ago. When terrible things happen to people, others often need to blame the victim because they need to believe it couldn't happen to them or their loved ones. I believe words like the above are motivated by fear. (When I was young I thought they were motivated by evil.)
 englishchic2001
Joined: 3/27/2016
Msg: 52
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 3/30/2016 11:40:16 PM
My friend also has a story about someone from Plenty Of Fish. An individual messaged her stating he was 37 and from Meridian, Idaho. When he avoided questions about whether or not he had a Facebook or Instagram, we decided to do a little investigating. It didn't take long to find out that he was that the person in the photograph. The owner of the picture lives in L.A and was 25 years old. There was an article about him also, confirming who he was. The article was talking about how handsome he was and how smart he was - as he had a Bachelors of Science in Political Science. We then went back to the person on Plenty of Fish and presented him with this information and he promptly blocked us!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 53
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/1/2016 8:46:53 PM

My friend also has a story about someone from Plenty Of Fish. An individual messaged her stating he was 37 and from Meridian, Idaho. When he avoided questions about whether or not he had a Facebook or Instagram, we decided to do a little investigating. It didn't take long to find out that he was that the person in the photograph. The owner of the picture lives in L.A and was 25 years old. There was an article about him also, confirming who he was. The article was talking about how handsome he was and how smart he was - as he had a Bachelors of Science in Political Science. We then went back to the person on Plenty of Fish and presented him with this information and he promptly blocked us!


And yet there are many who will still insist that only people WITH pictures are worth talking to.

Bizarre.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 54
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/1/2016 8:51:23 PM


When he avoided questions about whether or not he had a Facebook or Instagram, we decided to do a little investigating


This is exactly the reason I took my pic off of LinkedIn and I'm no longer on Facebook.

If you can't be bothered to meet for a cup of coffee or glass of wine before cyber sleuthing my a$$, you can pack sand.

vvvv

Ya know...

I've actually been approached on Yelp and LinkedIn like I was on a dating site.

Also, SOME folks seem to think verifying your employment makes you more authentic before meeting. One gal said she had bad experiences with men not being who they said they were. She wanted my LinkedIn info. PASS!
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 55
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/1/2016 9:00:37 PM
No need for pictures on LinkedIn IMO. It's not a dating site.
 oneday57
Joined: 10/17/2015
Msg: 56
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/2/2016 4:17:53 AM
exactly why he did it....hes a scum bag criminal and knows the system.....and by what your saying needs his A**** S handed to him!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 57
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/2/2016 7:41:02 AM
not to pick on the OP, but in msg 12 she mentions ignoring all the warning signs of his behavior...she didn't need to research him to see those. And a full background wasn't going to protect against ignoring the red flags. Sometimes, one has to see what's in front of their nose, b/c it can be enough to make a judgement call.

meet in a safe, public place. ask questions, look for the response.
 pennypatmac
Joined: 1/28/2016
Msg: 58
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 5:06:01 AM
I am a survivor of a horrendous domestic violence from 2003. A SURVIVOR! Also now am an advocate against domestic violence. NO ONE has the right to abuse, or put hand on in a threatening way. Out of the goodness of your heart, and you better judgement you decided to trust someone. Foolish? Yes. It is my opinion that you did not deserve to be hurt, terrorized, or held against your will. He is a phyco. To bad free on line dating slows preditators (spelling) to have unlimited access to the general public. When this happened to me, I met this monster thru friends of friends. He did his best to kill me, I survived. His actions n choices, plus my testimony put him in prison for 10 years. It's taken alot of hard work on my part to get on with my life. Last year in April, he found me on pof, pretending not to recognize me. Repeatedly changing his profile just enough to get past the block. I went to court, made police report after police report. Constantly denied to violate his "life time protection order". Everyone hands Dow said he could always say it's not him. Even though he uses his real name in his profile. I saw a statement where a man said something about "beat her up" when maybe she threw the first punch. That made as much sense as 2 wrongs making a right. How many women has he beat up? So here I am, victimized yet again, by him, police And the judge. They told ME to get off any and all dating sites, get a concealed weapons permit as he is dangerous, n shoot to kill. So survivors loose every basic constitutional right, n he keeps all of his. As an advocate, we have changed some laws, like pet protection, but have so far to go. I will never be silent ever. I do not care if some do not agree with me, this is not about them, but about survivors. We do need mandatory registration for these monsters. It's just a matter of time.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 59
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 7:42:50 AM

My friend also has a story about someone from Plenty Of Fish. An individual messaged her stating he was 37 and from Meridian, Idaho. When he avoided questions about whether or not he had a Facebook or Instagram, we decided to do a little investigating...


My Facebook profile has been deactivated. But even if I was still an active user, I wouldn't give any personal info about myself to a virtual stranger prior to a first date / meeting.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 60
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 8:07:30 AM

When he avoided questions about whether or not he had a Facebook or Instagram, we decided to do a little investigating...


I have had a Facebook account for approx 10 years. I have 15 "Friends", (14 relatives and 1 OOT GF)
ANYTIME, anyone, anywhere, asks for my Facebook info, I reply. "I only use Facebook for family. My page is set for private."
If they insist, I kind'a turn into Linda Blair from the Exorcist. My head spins!

Met in public, stay in public, if something smells fishy, no water in sight, walk away, while making a "Sorry, I just remembered I need to call my mom!" sudden phone call.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 61
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 9:16:49 AM

They told ME to get off any and all dating sites, get a concealed weapons permit as he is dangerous, n shoot to kill.


In my humble opinion the gun will only give you a false sense of security. Many a times the gun is used against the owner itself. Instead what you need to do is create a paper trail. That means any time the guy has contact with you, record it. File restraining orders. Find out if he has a parole officer and what are the rules by which he was released. More than likely they have some specific restrictions. USE the system. But only you can advocate for you. If you think the police, the legal system, the courts are your enemy, they will become your enemy, but if you believe that they can be your friend, that they have WAYS to be used as they were designed to be used, they will be at your disposal. So use it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 62
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 10:18:22 AM
Law enforcement said get a gun and shoot to kill? I hope you got that on record. Paper trails are your friend in the courtroom, as IG posted above. Its interesting that you found a psycho thru friends...didn't he set off their red flags? perhaps he didn't b/c what he talks about sounds normal to them. Maybe they are the reason he keeps finding you.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 63
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 11:13:18 AM

Msg 60:
I met this monster thru friends of friends.


With friends like that, who needs enemies. So these friends or friends of friends never noticed anything wrong with the guy, and that he was a real gentlemen and a good catch? How well did these people know him, and how long did you two date? And then law enforcement or someone in the justice system told you to take the law into your own hands, and arm yourself and kill him if you see him? Something is not adding up and not making sense. Who ever told you to arm yourself and shoot to kill could face disciplinary action or even charges if you followed through with their advice and ended up killing. How many other people have they told to take justice into their own hands and encouraged them to murder an abusive partner (and it could be either gender that's abusive)?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 64
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 12:35:30 PM
I haven't read any posts from men talking about the crazy females that they date. I think a few of those stories might be kind of cool. Its not like women can't stalk you on FB or social media or at your job. Follow you around town, phone your boss. Or scam you out of money, trinkets. Tell you tale tales and woe is me to get a guy to buy them every thing from groceries to cars. Plus be physical, like hit you or stab you or physically harm you. Hell, I've seen it on Dr. Phil so it must be true. lol
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 65
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/4/2016 1:04:09 PM
I think, the thing about someone being "crazy" is defined as individually as "good looking".
If you're a drama type of person...crazy could be something as simple as asking a question...you consider too personal.
Or expecting to meet once a week or more.
I have a few male friends dating on here and I can tell you....I chuckle sometimes at what they call "crazy" but they seem to ignore the red flags at the beginning....as I am sure some women do.
And yes...I had a woman friend...I would have considered a wee bit "crazy" when she met someone she liked...lol.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 66
Warning women about a wascally wabbit
Posted: 4/4/2016 6:04:07 PM
well, cassie, the secret to crazy beeotches is, you tell them how much you love them, and get all clingy...and then they run to the next guy :) but to admit a woman got the best of you? that's turning in your man card.

and yes, ugly crazy people don't get as far as the hot messes.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 3/25/2016
Msg: 67
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/5/2016 7:33:40 PM
We have all made stupid decisions, this could happen to any of us. I will remember your story when connecting with people online and be much more cautious.

I'm sorry that you had such a terrible experience. I'm glad you survived.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 68
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/6/2016 8:15:16 PM

this could happen to any of us.


I doubt it.

Some people actually DO pay attention to the kind of warning signs which the OP blatantly disregarded.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/6/2016 9:59:17 PM
this dangerous man you cannot name. He can always change his name and his profile and start again for one thing. the other thing is that it is only your word and it can just be revenge etc. and it only your side that we may hear and it could be lies. So don't name him, for your sake, if nothing else. He could come after you.

Women have to take care of themselves, not take risks with online meets and use their gut instinct. If he has done something really heinous you need to report him to the authorities. I would never put myself out there to meet a stranger from online, it is just not worth the risk. You can Skype, hear his voice and even meet a few times and feel you can trust him, but in truth you often cant. the most charming and attractive men can be psychopaths.

 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 70
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/7/2016 7:34:35 AM

Women have to take care of themselves, not take risks with online meets and use their gut instinct. If he has done something really heinous you need to report him to the authorities. I would never put myself out there to meet a stranger from online, it is just not worth the risk. You can Skype, hear his voice and even meet a few times and feel you can trust him, but in truth you often cant. the most charming and attractive men can be psychopaths.


A random person that you see in public at a bar or shopping mall is just as likely be a criminal as someone from OLD. People you meet at a social establishment can be charming until they gain your trust. Then they start doing bad things to you. This particular incident happened because the OP missed several warning signs and still invited him to her house for 3 days.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 71
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/7/2016 7:42:23 PM

A random person that you see in public at a bar or shopping mall is just as likely be a criminal as someone from OLD. People you meet at a social establishment can be charming until they gain your trust. Then they start doing bad things to you. This particular incident happened because the OP missed several warning signs and still invited him to her house for 3 days.


I'm not a big fan of OLD and I agree with this. Obviously this man should be charged with multiple crimes. But some wiser decisions could have prevented this.
 NutJob12
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 72
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/12/2016 8:08:25 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your experience. You seem like a nice lady, but honey, PLEASE STOP DATING UNTIL YOU GET SOME SELF WORTH!!!!!! He was already abusing you via telephone, text and emails and you still agreed to meet with him. I would get the hell out of dodge so that he could never find me again. He sounds like a complete whack job and took advantage of your state of mind. It's not your fault that you are like this. I'm sure it's a multitude of events that have happened in your life, but please, you are a beautiful person and never have to accept anything but the best. Being called any kind of name that isn't sweetie, honey, etc., is a big red flag. Until you learn to love yourself this is what you will attract. Wake up every day and look in the mirror and say, "I love myself and I deserve the Best." Please be careful.
 Andrea_Smiles
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 73
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/13/2016 11:12:16 AM
Just so you are aware, POF is notified EVERY time I see some dude violating the TOS (married but stating single, using another persons pictures, cougar chasers lying about their age and so on). POF has been notified by many about date rapists. Do they take down ANY of the profiles? NOPE, not if they are getting money from them.

If any of you have heard, the gal who was murdered and chopped up and left in recycling bin met the guy on POF. I haven't done a search to see if his profile has been removed yet, but it wouldn't matter anyway as he is in jail right now on a 2 million bail. I wonder how many times he has been reported? His entire profile was a lie.

So my advice to women on here is that POF does not follow its own terms of service. Their legal department has been emailed numerous times about different creepers, and no response of course. Profiles stay up. Reporting is useless. I told them it is only "a matter of time" before something horrific happens (guess it did).

Furthermore, POF is a paying advertiser on Facebook and interestingly enough, they had a whole thread taken down that implicated them. A little too late considering the media already released all of it.

BEWARE!
 Hogtownboy
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 74
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/13/2016 1:05:11 PM
you call the police
 GingersnapWA4
Joined: 10/6/2015
Msg: 75
Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof
Posted: 4/13/2016 10:18:48 PM
You were lucky. You got out alive. A mother of three young girls in the Seattle area wasn't so lucky with her POF date. They found her decapitated body in a recycling bin last week. Her POF date is sitting in jail on murder charges.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Warning women about a dangerous guy on pof