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 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 103
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I think it is a GREAT idea wish I could find one close !!!
PS do not get me wrong I would love to be in a long term relationship.
 GreenEyesGoldenLocks
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 104
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 10/6/2008 4:17:27 AM
Its not a preference for me. There are some situations where the person does not have long term potential for example he is a player and fidelity is not his strong suit. He may still be fun to be around and great to talk to but not one to give your heart to. It helps ease the lonliness until you find the one you want a relationship with.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 108
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:31:13 AM
Personally I cannot imagine someone "preferring" a FWB as opposed to a "real relationship." Another poster stated it elegantly with
...it helps ease the lonliness until someone else comes along...
or something like that. As human beings, we are all social, sexual creatures. We NEED the contact and the closeness. However, as we are all aware, or we wouldn't be on sites like this, finding THE ONE can be very very difficult. Our options are "alone and lonely" or "other", with FWB, or one of its many manifestations, being the preferred route for many of us; and abstinence being the preferred route for many others.


She did say that after she meets a few guys, that she might figure out that I might be a pretty good catch.
I am sure most the guys on here will say "what are you complaining about, you should be happy". I have gone out with lots of women of the last 10 years and I definitely see/feel something special about this one.
I admit that I probably did come on pretty strong 6 months ago. I have almost completely backed off now and 95% of the calling/texting/emailing is initiated by her. But She without a doubt she knows that I want more.
Anyway for this to progress? or am I just going to be the rebound guy and get hurt in the end? Should I just try to be patient and see what happens?
You are absolutely the rebound/fall back guy. The problem is your timing. Many professionals use the following rule of thumb: it takes a year to get over a divorce; and another year for you to feel "normal." In other words, she isn't going to be "ready" for a relationship for two years; and anything that happens between now and then is almost certainly doomed for failure.

For your own mental health and well being I recommend completely walking away from her for several months; and touching base later. The deal is that the woman you are in love with now, is NOT the same person who is going to emerge at the end of this process. If you stick around, she is getting used to you in a roll you do NOT want to play. The old proverb: If you love something set it free. If it comes back it is yours; if it doesn't, it never was; has a great deal of reality wrapped up in it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 124
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2008 10:49:30 AM
Don't know if this one has been thrown out there, but it's the one I see most often.


Single mothers, with financial issues, that use sex to get more than one man to chip in to help her take care of her kids and finances, until she can find someone that can take the job full time.


Ladies,

If that isn't you, then it wasn't addressed toward you, but you all know a woman like this.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 127
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2008 5:49:58 PM
Before I settled down with the man I am with, I was a single mother and had FWB that my child never saw or met. I would have my fun when he was at his fathers without the relationship part. My son never met anyone until the man I am with and we have been together for nearly 10 years.

Perhaps better than his father introducing him to every chick that crossed his path. He might have had relationships with these women but it got to the point where my son would come home and say "why does he even bother introducing them to me when in only lasts 6 months?" Smart kid.
 tigerlilly0302
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 128
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 12/26/2008 6:42:44 PM
My FWB started last January. I didn't expect anything. But let me tell you...
I go over there and we never go out, I never go over on the weekends, (has his son),
never hang out and cook dinner and eat together. I go over...we watch alittle TV,
F**K our brains out and go to sleep and I leave in the morning. He is controlling, and he controls me by sex. He literally is my sexual soul mate. Now I cannot let him go.
He is becoming uninterested, so he says. Tried garters and other sexy outfits and not really getting any response. He has never bought me anything, not that I have asked.
He doesn't know all the hardships I am going thru. But I cant let him go. I told myself I will never have another FWB relationship. (not that it is a relationship).
And I can't let him go......but I have started to try.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 130
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:31:06 AM
To deal with a question like the one posed here by the OP, let's first see if we can straighten out our thinking a bit.

There is sex, there is marriage, there is friendship, and there is love. Who says they need to be together? Why?

If you want want any one of these, and can satisfy that desire without bringing in the others, why not go for it?

Sex for its own sake without the others is called "the zipless f." by Erica Jong in her book "Fear of Flying."

Marriage without either sex or love is the way a Brahmin Hindu couple starts out their relationship. Sex waits until parenthood is intended, and marriage is arranged by families. There must be millions of couples in India today who linked up this way. Does it work? Well, I haven't heard that our American model works so fantastically well that we can afford to look down on other models as if ours is better than theirs.

Why do so many people speak of friendship as if a friendship is somehow inferior to a relationship of love or marriage? I do not believe it is. I think friendship is more precious than either love or marriage. It certainly seems to have more endurance.

Marriage is a whole nother issue. The fundies seem to think that they have a god-given right to dictate to all the rest of us what marriage is supposed to be. I do not agree. I think marriage does NOT need to be defined by the government or by the religious nuts. It can be a voluntary contractual agreement between individuals, fully informed and responsible, and they gave the right to define its terms. Let each person choose whom he or she shall marry, what shall be implied by it, and what gender and number shall be in the marriage, and let the government and the fundies butt out.

I have experienced love without either sex or marriage involved, and I know how real and how precious it can be. I do NOT consider that relationship in any way inferior to those in my life in which sex and marriage were involved.

Surely each relationship in your life can be custom made, by informed free choice of those involved. Let people can grow up and lose the silly teen-age patterns they were brainwashed with in high school, the sort of absurdities perpetuated by the fantasy life of fictional sitcom characters, stupid Hollywood nonsense, and trashy songs.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 131
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 11:09:05 AM
His role in your life is simple......fufill your sexual needs.
No pressure for either of you to fulfill emotional needs you may not be able to deal with at that time in your life.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 132
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 11:42:27 AM

MsMicki on 1/25/2009 11:09:05 AM
... His role in your life is simple......fufill your sexual needs.
No pressure for either of you to fulfill emotional needs you may not be able to deal with at that time in your life.

That dude's name is "Hitachi Wand."
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 133
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 11:53:21 AM

If that isn't you, then it wasn't addressed toward you, but you all know a woman like this.

Never, ever met a woman like this. I don't know where you guys get your information, but you need to cultivate a better class of "friends" or adjust your eyes.

On topic:
I have been in some quite satisfying FWB situations. I like it because I don't have to be his emotional support. I mean, we talk and stuff, so I know when he has problems, but he doesn't look to me to solve them or make them better. I've never had such a situation end badly, either. It's usually justa "hey, we should stop this now." "oh, okay, see ya around."

For men, it seems to be the same. They like the woman just fine, just don't want to have to "be there" all the time.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 136
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 5/31/2011 6:47:09 PM

If that isn't you, then it wasn't addressed toward you, but you all know a woman like this.


Never, ever met a woman like this.


You're either lying, or not paying attention...

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 137
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2011 4:37:19 AM
The women who ARE looking for FWB's, at least the one's I've known, were in a time in their lives when either they were ANGRY at males in general (usually due to having been treated AS THOUGH they were just FWB's), or they are on a personal power trip of some sort, or both. Wanting an FWB for most folks, male and female, and in between, is mainly about wanting the fun bits of a relationship without the obligation bits. Calling something an FWB is just a way to elevate it slightly above screwing around pointlessly for the sake of screwing around.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 138
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/1/2011 8:13:17 PM
Less complicated. Less demanding. Less imposing.
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 142
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/4/2011 9:29:56 PM
Why? Many reasons:
1. horny- just gotta have it
2. hot to trot- player
3. 21st Century- equality
4. immature- too young to know better
5. mature- too old to worry about it
6. busy- work,work,work
7. baggage- ain't worth the "R" trouble
8. lonely- but still have baggage
9. given up- no good prospects
10. but mostly horny

Personally:
I am looking to find me a man, drag him back to the house, and chain him up in the back yard!
(joke)
No! Really, I still want my Prince Charming.....

SEE HOW WE ARE?
 marcus_biggs
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 144
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/10/2011 10:49:07 PM
ohh.. that's what it means.. fwb.. smh
 vagirl11
Joined: 3/14/2011
Msg: 145
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/11/2011 3:38:23 PM
Move on - she' going to end up settling with you and that's not good!
 smileformeplease123
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 146
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/11/2011 4:09:57 PM
I am pretty new on here, but was skimming through here, lol I feel that you should be doing what "you" need to be doing, looking out for what you want. Your wanting a family soon, well then what do you think you should be doing? I think you are wasting time. I am sure you can find a lady that wants the same that you do. You won't be able to find a lady if you have fwb. Best wishes.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 147
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/11/2011 6:36:18 PM
"Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?"

hmmm... I can't answer about 'so many women', which sounds a bit like an over-generalization to me.

Friends with benefits... a friend you are intimate with, without the expectation that the intimacy will lead to a permanent commitment or even maybe exclusiveness. Sounds good to me.

F%*# buddy, not so much - though I had one of those once many years ago - that's more like a convenience.

I can't speak for anyone but myself however I do know that after 2 marriages, raising kids, etc... the idea of 'happily ever after' sort of romantic fantasy comes into perspective and down to earth - as in reality check. I have come to the conclusion that relationships do not have to conform to any particular shape to be legitimate or even highly valuable and fulfilling, in fact some of the best relationships I have had have been outside the box - so to speak. Some were brief, some lasted a very long time.. what I do know is that you never know what an experience is going to be, or how it will affect you and others down the road.

Also, for me, I am at an age where I jealously guard my autonomy, independence and personal space. And I have found that a traditional relationship doesn't allow for that. There's always an expectation of becoming 'joined at the hip', and then expectations that you are going to 'change' to suit the relationship or other person. I'm not willing to do that anymore. It's just easier when I need time alone, or get irritated by someone or have things to do that I can just say, 'okay bye, see you later". No hard feelings.

Jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity and control.. I despise them. FWB makes that unacceptable. score.

Maybe it works so well that it continues and deepens into something more, OR it doesn't, and since there were very few expectations to begin with, extricating oneself is easier.. less painful all around.

So I think for me, at this time in life, since I'm not interested in living with anyone, or getting married again, I've already raised (raising) my family that FWB is a viable option, that respects honestly the needs of both people. Polyamory is also another option - especially for those who have the capacity to care for more than one person at a time.

However I see this as more than a one night stand or a series of hook-ups - it's a relationship structure of it's own. There would have to be trust and honesty and respect. I think some people misinterpret FWB as having a F$@# buddy, totally different concept. But that works for some people too.

and be honest people - how many of us have used an ex as a F%#@ buddy at least once. lol
 lvgDeadGrl
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 148
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2011 6:39:21 AM
Keeps it honest. Most men can't focus on on sexual partner so it is FWB girl or psycho Lorena Bobbit girl who is die hard fidelity chick.
 greatdjgal
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 150
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2011 9:43:54 AM
Excuse me military guy! Don't go & put me in that catagory! I can say the same about you guys! People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones! Maybe you move too fast for them? I have a teen at home, so I would NEVER go that route! Most guys on this site are the same as others....they want a young model type with no baggage or drama, they dont like going out to socialize, they would rather isolate their companion and covet them for themselves? Life is a stage and we are only it's players, it's not fair, it's not without drama, it's not always pretty or cut & dry! Deal with it! Chew on that!
 greatdjgal
Joined: 5/14/2011
Msg: 151
Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2011 9:48:21 AM
Not this chick honey! Although he asked for another round for old times, I said no way! I have too much respect for myself...hmmm...respect...there's a word that isn't in alot of people's vocabularies! I think the FWB is for someone who has poor self esteem and no respect for themselves or anybody else for that matter! There you go!
 Cutey1961
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 154
Women and FWB
Posted: 6/12/2011 11:09:47 AM
Its not only the ladies. Out of the guys I met so far on this site, 4 or 5 of them wanted a FWB relationship, which is not my style.

I am currently "seeing" a guy who claims he wants a "full term" relationship but only sees me every 2 or 3 weeks. He has "dating" on his profile as well. To me, I am feeling like a "f#$k" buddy, not a girlfriend. The man lives 20 minutes from me. He claims he's busy yet quite often he is on line (at least POF shows he is chatting). Which means, he is at home when he could be with me. Don't get me wrong. He is a good guy but he has been alone so long, he honestly doesn't know what he wants. I do know this isn't working for me anymore.

IMO, I think guys and gals are more apt to "f@#k" someone they know and trust these days, with no strings attached. They feel safe then. That is the thing to do these days, and who knows, if I get too lonely, I might end up doing the same. Never can tell.
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 155
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2011 12:31:37 PM
Why not? If they don't want a relationship, then that is what they want, just the evening. Maybe you are letting them think that you don't want to be serious. Do you keep dating the same type of woman? Then, you are setting yourself up for FWB.
Change your tactics and let them know you are not just trolling the waters.
 thomas4713
Joined: 4/17/2011
Msg: 156
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Why do so many women like FWB with a guy instead of a relationship?
Posted: 6/12/2011 6:55:38 PM
id disagree its not being tricked into relationship, whole meaning of FWB means you are not attached to them as a view of being a couple, there for the terms of "cheating" dont apply, you cant cheat on a FWB also i'd say like a good handfull of guys girls can also get bored with 1 person, maybe guy A does same type things all time in bed but guy B mixes it up more, but person A might be bigger or more attractive but she desires the alternative ways in bed often so she has 2 FWB to get the best of both without feeling bad on doing anything wrong, beccause she not dating any1 so she really not cheating or cant do anytthing wrong. That seem like a reasonable answer in my eyes. Guys do same thing, they want different ranges like big tits and tight **** well unless u a lucky girl who athletic you wont have both so kinda chubby girl will have big tits and small girl with like b size cup ,might be tight.

Also, girl might be looking for a certain type but never or rarely finds him but she wanting sex at times, so she wants be available for right guy, that can be another reason
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