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 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 26
broadening horizons vs lowering standardsPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Sometimes I can be physically attracted to women that are somewhat different than my usual type. A few examples. In general I am more attracted to women with long hair. But I have been attracted to some women with short hair. I am more attracted to women with a slender or athletic body type. But I have been attracted to women that are somewhat overweight.


Hasn't anyone around here ever met someone they didn't initially find physically attractive, but then you got to know the person and they did become attractive to you?


No. Physical attraction doesn't change over time for me. Unless there was major physical changes such as weight loss. If a woman was nice and we had some things in common, then maybe we can become friends. However chemistry ( which is different than physical attraction ) can sometimes develop over time when I get to know someone better.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 27
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 7:18:19 AM

No. Physical attraction doesn't change over time for me. Unless there was major physical changes such as weight loss. If a woman was nice and we had some things in common, then maybe we can become friends. However chemistry ( which is different than physical attraction ) can sometimes develop over time when I get to know someone better.


In summary. ( At least somewhat ) Physically attractive but no instant chemistry = I would consider going out on a few more dates barring any obvious dealbreakers. No physical attraction = No second date. Maybe we could become friends. But nothing more than that.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 28
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 7:22:37 AM
we don't always date with the idea, "in a few hours from now, we're going to be coital". someone who's hot might initially catch our attention, and we'll flirt or chase b/c we like the stirring in our loins. but, other times, it really is "getting lucky". we're bored, its winter doldrums, we haven't had a warm body in a while, and lo and behold, there's someone in our lives who is fun to be around, considerate, and maybe one night at a party we get a little drunk and in the mood or something else makes us "in the mood", and maybe we start a tickle fight or something else that invades their space, and maybe that leads to kissing, and if the kissing is good...in other words, things advance, its not a case of seeing someone across a room and thinking, "i know exactly what i want, and i'm going to get it". Sometimes, what it takes is timing (like Belle said, she skipped a class she was going to skip anyway, and here was a chance to go do something fun in that time, so hey, why not) and just to not have barriers in the way (like creepiness, a push for sex, etc).

I've had women chase me, admitting in one way or the other, they were wondering why I wasn't clawing at their fly like most men (alas, the reason for all but one was, I wasn't interested until the opportunity to get my noodle wet was offered, and that one particular time the woman was attractive in my eyes, I just thought she was nuts and didn't want drama). so I can say, it works for everyone--we all want to be desired by a certain someone, even if we don't want sex with them for some reason, we still want to know how they can ignore us. in some cases, once the romance and good sex starts releasing chemicals in the brain, someone might fall in love with the feeling of being in love, and the relationship blossoms...until one day, someone feels like they fell out of love and now see the disqualifiers more. or a new coworker gives them more of a tickle in their pickle than the person who seemed good enough before.

I had one relationship with a friend who wanted to dump her bf during the winter doldrums, but wasn't looking to rush into another relationship and as she told me, knew i'd keep my mouth shut about what was going on. I've had a few relationships with women who noticed me in a group we shared, who I didn't notice b/c their looks didn't catch my attention. when I can look back upon a relationship and notice I was asking for sex more than they were, I can see other clues they weren't dating me b/c I was hot, but b/c I was "good enough". a hot guy could say he didn't have a condom, and they'd make an exception (as more than one confessed), but i'd have to jump thru hoops or wait for a full moon or something else for them to "want it that bad".

for those of us not a 8, or a 9 or a 10, there's a reason why sexual intimacy is called, "getting lucky". maybe you meet someone when they've decided to look less for sex and more for relationship (my best friend is an attractive woman who hooked up with her last guy b/c she was sick of hot guys treating her so poorly, and this guy didn't seem to be able to be a player, tho he sure turned out to be one). or you've become the best option they have at this time.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 29
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 8:27:44 AM
I have a preference for the exotic, which for me is a woman in some way different than the last woman I dated or had a relationship with.

When I was 28-33, I often dated women just because they were available, and since I was always traveling, it didn't really matter because I wouldn't be around for longer than 3 months. I don't recall how attracted to them I was, it was just something to do. And they were a different type.

So I have had relationships or slept with women that were from 0 - 16 dress size, long hair, short hair, really big-small boobs, educated not educated, construction worker-business owner, taller than me or much shorter. One woman I made out in a bar with was 3.8, that was really odd, especially when dancing.

As I got older, my type evolved, but still exotic. But then exotic was mostly a different nationality or race.

Now my type is from 0-9 dress size, shorter than me, intelligent with a cute, perky or a wild look, with my preference for a different nationality or race though it's not an absolute rule. A sweet or passionate personality.

So I don't see any trouble with experimenting with types. I do think attraction can grow, and you can change the type you are attracted to when you have different positive experiences with different types.

I don't often have women hit on me, I would guess as many men have hit on me as women. With men, they are pretty explicit and though I am not interested in men, sometimes I would flirt with them as I am a natural flirt and I am easy going enough that it's not obvious to them I don't want a date. I remember one tall, dark and handsome guy, I avoided being alone with him, he seemed dangerously aggressive.

(Now since I am married, I avoid flirting, no good can come from it.)

OP, to me you aren't classically handsome, more like a boyish cherub type of look, which I would think should appeal to certain men. I think you need to lose more weight and continue to work out to get more classically handsome.

You didn't say what type of man appeals to you? Have you ever had a relationship with the type of man that appeals to you? If so, what happened? If not, how can you be sure that is the type for you?
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 30
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 8:58:10 AM
I have definitely become more attracted to someone as I got to know them - their kindness in the way he spoke to people, the way he smiled and was friendly to the wait-staff, his sense of humour and quick wit... very very attractive. I've also become repulsed by someone I was just getting to know, who was physically very attractive, because of his hostility toward his ex, his rudeness to the person waiting on us and general entitled attitude: he became repugnant to me very quickly and I couldn't see him as attractive any longer.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 31
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 9:34:21 AM

A friend suggested going out with a guy I think is really ugly and maybe I will find something to love about him. To me, thats settling for what you dont want because you cant get what you do want. He says it is broadening horizons and learning to be attracted to all different types of guys. I d0n't think I can just train myself to be into someone I am just not into. What are your thoughts?

For me and many others, the question isn’t whether we're initially attracted to a person's looks; it's whether we're initially turned off by a person overall. When that happens, there is something about the person that repels us for a romantic relationship. Objectionable factors can range from a physical trait to a behavioral trait or the sound of his/her voice.

As long as we're not turned off, the possibility of a relationship increases or decreases, depending on personality traits, experiences together, good character (or lack of it), conversational styles, belief systems, and other intangibles.

Physical appearance matters to all of us, in one way or another, but to rule out someone because he/she isn't the physical type we found attractive in the past can be relationship sabotage. Emotionally healthy people have the ability to change and grow into new kinds of relationship compatibilities.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 32
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 10:26:04 AM

.........we are ready and open to meeting someone. Actually a combination of the two things, being ready yourself and meeting the right person.


THIS ^^^^^^ IS ^^^^^^IT!


"Being ready yourself" is THE most important factor, to any relationship.
OP, be open to the possibilities, meet and greet, give yourself the opportunity to enjoy your time with someone. Life is short.

Belle, I am delighted,
Baby, I read you loud and clear, absolutely.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 33
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 7:57:36 PM

Hasn't anyone around here ever met someone they didn't initially find physically attractive, but then you got to know the person and they did become attractive to you?


Not really. The closest to that scenario was someone I met on POF and his pics were not that great. I almost didn't meet up with him because I didn't find him all that attractive, but he was still tall and dark and kind of witty, so I just met him for a drink. Turned out he looked better than his pics and we hit it off.

I'm meeting a guy tomorrow who is not really a knock out but he's Latin and tall, and maybe if his beard was off he'd be cuter. Stay tuned.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 34
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/18/2016 11:02:10 PM
Lili, I have always been attracted to educated and intelligent men. Also very attracted to men with blue eyes and were slender ( fit). My late husband had blue eyes and was slender. Now I am attracted to men who are body builders with lots of muscle.

I even got into a guy with tattoos. That surprised me coming from a conventional background.


I enjoyed the success love stories on here!
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 35
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/19/2016 9:54:47 AM
I'm actually very envious of people who don't have a certain type, and who can get into someone as they get to know them better. That makes for a much easier, more rewarding dating life I suppose. But when I meet a guy who does not generate lustful thoughts in my head, it doesn't matter how sweet he is, how much money he has, or that he is a great person. If he doesn't get my juices flowing, I can't get naked with him or kiss him. Just not going to happen. Even just kissing them after a date makes me tense. I can cherish that person as a good friend, but not as a lover. I need someone who makes me fantasize about being with him while we're apart. Someone who is on my mind first thing in the morning, last thing at night. And I only get that with guys who turn me on.

My dating pool is very small, only very few men fall into the category of potential mates. That's why online dating has been better for me, because I can zero in on my "type" more than hoping to randomly run into them as I'm out and about. I made a conscious effort the other day to tally all the men I run into in a day to whom I'm attracted. It was pretty depressing - only one or two per day and that was with me really looking hard at my surroundings. Ditto on Tinder - I left-swipe about 57 times before I find one who makes me want to right-swipe. Slim pickings indeed, and I don't blame the men, it's all me, but that's fine, I enjoy my single life and either wait until I find what I'm looking for, or until no one asks me out anymore. What will be will be.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 36
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/19/2016 1:56:29 PM

Hasn't anyone around here ever met someone they didn't initially find physically attractive, but then you got to know the person and they did become attractive to you? (This has happened to me.) Anyone? Anyone?


Somewhat, thing is I can find attrativeness in all kinds of women so I don't have a set preference when it comes to physical attractiveness, I know what I like but I routinely break it multiple times when I'm dating, what I like in women are intangible things, I can't really explain it. My ex-girlfriend would get annoyed with me because I didn't have a preference and she kept wondering why I was going out with her. (Not sure why it mattered at the time)

I've been told by some girls that they didn't find me initially attractive but they gave me a chance anyway and I grew on them, my profile pic isn't great either so women are surprised when they see me in person and remark how much better I look in person, when I'm actually laughing and smiling instead of looking mean in my pictures, of course I could smile but I hate my smile and the way it looks so I'm at a little screwed.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 37
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/19/2016 2:08:10 PM


My dating pool is very small, only very few men fall into the category of potential mates.


For someone with a small dating pool, it sure does seem like you date a lot.

Sounds like the men you're dating have larger pools then yourself.

For some, dating has been a catch & release experience.

vvvvvvvv

I don't mind paying $10 for unlimited catching & releasing at the local lake.

Everybody is catching everybody elses's fish and the fish don't mind much.

Not free mind you, but this is cheaper then paying for a long term fishing license & investing in long drives to locations where the quality fish have been snatched up already.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 38
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/19/2016 2:27:20 PM
Leave her alone. A girl's gotta eat.

On another note, I wonder if it's true that there's no such thing as a free lunch?
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 39
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/19/2016 7:36:15 PM
I am happy for Belle.For years I have been reading her responses.
She showed me something that can only come from meeting someone
in person. All the rest is just paranoia,shallow assumptions or
egos that don't even have enough room for themselves.You miss
so much when you pigeon hole everyone all the time.
Open minded and down to earth are the most overused
misrepresentations in the history of OLD.I know because
I ve used them,until I was set straight.It was the most interesting
and educating conversation I have ever had.There is so much
more to learn but it's found outside the computer!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 40
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/21/2016 1:47:23 PM

Whatsamattababy
Hasn't anyone around here ever met someone they didn't initially find physically attractive, but then you got to know the person and they did become attractive to you? (This has happened to me.) Anyone? Anyone?


Offhand, I don't remember that ever happening to me. I am attracted to a very wide range of women (kind of the opposite of Karma), but if nothing happens the first time I see them, then that is pretty much the end of the story.

Now I have been attracted, and attracted very strongly, only to have that attraction killed completely by words / actions / attitudes. And I would imagine that has happened to everyone.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 41
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History
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/21/2016 7:13:24 PM
I'm happy for Belle too...

But gotta wonder:
She tells that story about ending up with a guy she wouldn't have dated, it's a great story. I say that things like this happen all the time, and get 20 pages of fighting with an idiot over whether or not emotional attraction can make them not care about physical attraction.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 42
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/21/2016 8:40:39 PM

When you're constantly being hit on by nothing unattractive guys, it takes a toll on the self esteem.

Welcome to the world of online dating. I suppose this happens to a degree in real life as well but there's a fear factor IRL that isn't there with online dating. They have nothing to lose by filling up your in box. Online everyone's league seems to be skewed by their own imaginations.

If your going to use these type of sites then it's something your have to learn to deal with. Personally I couldn't handle it. I understand how after the 50th 70 year old, out of shape, no teeth, who just wants to "have some fun" writes to you, you start questioning where you fit in in the world. I went to a site where people have to mutually find each other attractive in order to write. You have to try different avenues and find one that works for you be it this site, another site, real life or a combination thereof.


If you think I am being shallow and self absorbed, feel free to say so.

Those that say to settle, you'll die alone and other carp I so often hear are the people who wind up in the most miserable relationships EVER. Why would you take advise from them?

Whatever peace' carp people like to spew about " you shouldn't judge physical attraction are full of bs". We're human, we judge everything from our food to our mates.

Physical attraction is the basis to every relationship and most certainly healthy ones. Everything else comes second. Personality, commonalities, goals, core values are the glue that hold couples together. A healthy relationship cannot exist without being able to see yourself mating with that person!

Going out with someone you know your not into is a disservice to yourself and the other person. Don't bother!
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 43
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/22/2016 6:18:14 AM
“When you're constantly being hit on by nothing unattractive guys, it takes a toll on the self esteem.”\“Welcome to the world of online dating.”

I actually disagree with this. It has been much more damaging to me to go months, years with no interest at all, because that makes you feel subhuman. I made it through all my school and college years without a single female, attractive or unattractive, showing any romantic interest in me and you can’t even begin to imagine how that messes you up psychologically. I felt like a leper and it was pretty easy to believe I was the most unattractive man on earth since I didn’t know anybody in a similar position. A couple years after graduating from college, some women I found very unattractive (and had NOTHING in common with) showed some romantic interest in me and I actually felt over the moon about it to begin with, though ultimately I found it difficult to stay with women I felt nothing for.

Last year I had a 6 month spell on POF in which I received no organic views. Despite the fact that by that point in life I’d had some dates with women I found attractive so I knew I wasn’t necessarily the most unattractive man on earth, those 6 months were still very hard on me, much worse than when I was getting views or Meet Me’s or even the rare message from women I didn’t find attractive. I just kept thinking: this is it, I finally got to that point where there are no single women left that find me attractive, I’ve clipped the event horizon and I’m heading into the unknown at the center of a black hole... And then one day, I got an organic view from a woman I didn’t find remotely attractive, and suddenly I felt a little relieved. Despite the fact that I had no interest in contacting her.

But I do realize I live in a very different world from everyone else, particularly universally attractive women like Jesse. If life has been mostly good, then I can see how a little negativity like getting hundreds of emails from people you find revolting might bring you down. Undoubtedly, I am on the other end of that experience – I send out thousands of emails every year, nearly all of which are rejected, so I’m probably one of the men who make women like Jesse feel the way they do, and sometimes, I feel really depressed that I’m doing that to them and it makes me feel like a terrible person, but I don’t know what else to do because if I don’t try at all, I will definitely be alone for the rest of my life.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 44
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/22/2016 6:33:00 AM
I will never understand why your experience is like this, Hawking. I mean the fact that you barely get any interest or responses at all.

I know the feeling is not mutual, but (other than your age), I would totally be interested in you based on your pictures and profile.

If it were happening only in real life, I would say it has to do something with your demeanor (if something is so universal, it's more likely to be us than everybody else, after all), but because you say it's happening on here where people see nothing but your pictures and profile initially, I really don't know what it could be.

On a different note:

I actually never felt that who contacted me had anything to do with me, so I never felt diminished being contacted by guys who were unattractive to me. People do what THEY want to do. It has nothing to do with anybody else.

But, being ONLY contacted by people who are unattractive to me would have meant that I would have had to change my approach somehow. And, I did, and I WAS more successful.

 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 45
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/22/2016 8:30:54 AM

I actually never felt that who contacted me had anything to do with me, so I never felt diminished being contacted by guys who were unattractive to me.


Exactly. This is how a human being would feel about being contacted by another human being. Just remove it, why make comments like "how could that icky person even remotely think I would be interested in them. " I know, it takes so much time to delete a message from an ugly, imperfect person.

Just move along.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 46
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/22/2016 11:45:35 AM
Thank you all for the well wishes and congratulations.

I can agree to a certain extent that one starts to wonder about being constantly contacted by those we are not attracted to at all. One begins to wonder "well, how come I don't get contacted by people who are actually my type or of my liking". I think there is something within us that believes that we attract what we want (or should), rather than people are attracted to what they are attracted to and it has nothing to do with any individual person.

Yes, I wish I had that same attitude or approach that Lili mentioned or not connecting that action with the individual itself, I think it's healthy to think that way. I often wondered why in the world was I attracting thugs, uneducated people or rather someone with very limited education, people in very limiting or dead-end positions in life and with no desire to better themselves, people who were in my opinion "ugly AF". I have to admit that I did look in the mirror a couple of times and started thinking that maybe I'm being completely unrealistic about who I think I am, what I think I look like, and whether that had to do with no attracting what would be my type (in similar quantities as the opposite).

The fact of the matter is that I did meet a lot of people who were my type and then other aspects of it deemed it a "no-go". It sort of leveled the balance, and all efforts were concentrated on weeding one from the other. It wasn't about meeting people I was attracted to, it was about meeting people I had an interest in getting to know for one purpose or the other. The main focus was to go out and have a great time, whatever came out of it was the cherry on top.

When I met my now boyfriend, he looked way better in person than any of the pictures he posted on his profile. It was at some level, a "mindf*ck", and it set the tone for wanting to keep finding out in which other ways may I have been wrong initially. And like I said, I was not initially attracted to him, he piqued my curiosity enough for me to begin to see him in a different light.

There are people who you meet who you think are hot as heck, and then with all of their flaws, the way the treat you, the way they treat others, the way they are, they begin to look physically ugly to you. Just the same way that you get to know someone who you consider ugly, and with time, their sweetness, their quality, the way they treat you or treat others, makes you see them in a different light. You begin to wonder how the heck does someone which such a beautiful soul, is not taken. This has happened to me with may women, very few men. Over time, they either becomes ugly in my eyes, or hot AF.
 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 47
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/22/2016 8:36:17 PM

I actually disagree with this. It has been much more damaging to me to go months, years with no interest at all, because that makes you feel subhuman. I made it through all my school and college years without a single female, attractive or unattractive, showing any romantic interest in me and you can’t even begin to imagine how that messes you up psychologically.

Was there no romantic interest? Or was there opportunities you either missed, by passed or didn't develop due to various factors one being your self esteem. I believe there are opportunities all around us just many are missed.


I just kept thinking: this is it, I finally got to that point where there are no single women left that find me attractive, I’ve clipped the event horizon and I’m heading into the unknown at the center of a black hole.

Your issue is your lack of self esteem. You project that loud and clear. If you don't think "your the shet" how is someone else supposed to? We can sit here all day and tell you that your super, duper, amazing, gorgeous, funny, talented, worthy, attractive but if you don't believe this within yourself then you will continue your self fulfilling prophecy that your unlovable! Work on yourself, not just the outside but the inside. You project to some degree what people will think and feel about you. You have to become what you want to attract!


But I do realize I live in a very different world from everyone else, particularly universally attractive women like Jesse

Attraction to a large degree is defined by the culture and the people around us who influenced our life. This means that attraction will be different for everyone! I remember having dinner with a male friend of mine and he was looking at the pictures of men I thought were so "hot" and he was laughing and telling me they were average. Again my perception was largely based off my upbringing. No two people will think alike when it comes to attraction. So my point is that for someone you will be "hot" because you fit their image that was defined when growing up.

Hawking your problem has always been your self esteem. Somebody with healthy self esteem will not be able to withstand someone who lacks it for very long. People usually want equal partners. So you have to work on what your bring to the table emotionally.

Have your ever read Mark Manson's book and blogs? Might be a place to start. It's about building confidence, building from the inside out and attracting people to you. It's written for men but I honestly think a lot of it is valuable to everyone who wants to grow and evolve.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/23/2016 12:26:31 AM
I agree with you Karma, why settle for someone who does not do it for you really???. I would rather not. Life goes on and there are many compensations to be had. If someone comes along that rocks the boat then good.

I think there is a widely held myth that stunning looking people are inundated with those wanting to date them. Beautiful women complain that men are intimidated and are often lonely, strange as that sounds. They say they are wanted for the arm candy and not themselves, as well.

What one finds stunning another doesn't and we are all different, thankfully.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 49
broadening horizons vs lowering standards
Posted: 3/23/2016 10:09:27 AM
Ida know, I've been here for years, and listened to some women post in the past about all the guys they have coming at them. I figure they aren't lying, b/c when I used to ask out hotties (ie people who dress and pose as if they know they are sexy enough to pull it off), they told me they were taken, too. Now, are people being approached daily? no. But over time, they've even noticed the traffic they get is different than what others get. Of course, we don't always pick up on the idea we're getting picked up. We might not be interested in the person, so we don't look for any clues to be there. Or we just aren't in a dating mood, so we don't look at what someone else is doing to us and read into it that its a pickup attempt.

I suppose its like predicting weather--just b/c the clouds show up, doesn't mean its going to rain....but its likely.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 50
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Posted: 3/23/2016 12:35:16 PM

I actually disagree with this. It has been much more damaging to me to go months, years with no interest at all, because that makes you feel subhuman. I made it through all my school and college years without a single female, attractive or unattractive, showing any romantic interest in me and you can’t even begin to imagine how that messes you up psychologically. I felt like a leper and it was pretty easy to believe I was the most unattractive man on earth since I didn’t know anybody in a similar position.


I agree. It's way worse when you're in that position. I'd honestly love just 1 day of being that guy that even just girls I don't think are attractive are drooling over. But instead, over the years... I've had every physical flaw pointed out to me. I've been into girls where I've talked to them about the possibility of dating, just to later that day be told about how hot my friend is and asked if he was single... One time had to watch what used to be a friend take a girl he knew I was into home (luckily, karma decided to exist and he got her pregnant, which is the worst thing ever when you're that young, now he's paying child support on a kid he doesn't get to see) . I've watched almost every single one of my friends (literally only 1 who hasn't) find a successful relationship, most of them married now, while I can never find a mutual interest, either I end up not being into her (usually because I find out she's a heavy drug addict, or just a terrible person, because that's all I seem to attract) or she's not into me. Through high school and the first few years after, I sat home alone every Friday night... Because I was the single friend, and anyone who remembers high school (or their friends that didn't escape that mentality yet) your friends COMPLETELY forget you existed when they had a girlfriend. Throughout the years, I've had countless girls I was dating just do the vanishing act. Tons of dates canceled followed by "I have a boyfriend now." Even better, mutliple girls since my decision that I want something serious, go on mutliple dates with me, but then meet another guy, and after only 1 date: "I want to date only him and see where this goes, it's not fair to him if I still date you."

BS like this is a lot of why I went through such a long stretch where I just didn't want anything serious. There's trust issues. There's way too much doubt than there should be. It's so much worse being the guy that doesn't appeal to girls. I'd trade my life experiences for having the option of only attracting girls I'm not attracted to any day. Maybe then, I wouldn't have the trust issues that are REALLY becoming a problem now that I want something more than just dating.

In the world of dating, OPs situation is a first world problem. Man up. Sorry that no guys that he's attracted to are into him... It's gotta be tough at least having options. Come back when everyone you're into just starts always having an excuse for why they can never see you... You know, the ones that are buys 24/7, never have any free time at all, but swear they want to go out somewhere with you, but refuse to make set plans for any day... After about 20 or 50 of those, then you can complain about how dating life sucks.
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