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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 26
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Importance of heigh?Page 2 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

Sir Dragon, I do believe you are showing your funny bone, LOL


I may be short in height, but my bone is longer than average, and I can also be funny.


In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.


Darn POF rules.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 27
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Importance of height?
Posted: 4/2/2016 11:24:09 PM
dragonbytes...

He says his height is 5.8 on his profile, but in the thread he says his height is 173 CM, which is 5.67585, round up to 5.7.

The women he is dating is 175 cm, which is 5.74147, say 5.8.



I think you mistakenly used 2.59 cm per inch as your calculation. It's 2.54 which would put him at 5'8" and her at 5'9".

OP...I would call her to arrange a second date. That should answer your question.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 28
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Importance of height?
Posted: 4/3/2016 6:16:00 AM

I think you mistakenly used 2.59 cm per inch as your calculation. It's 2.54 which would put him at 5'8" and her at 5'9".

OP...I would call her to arrange a second date. That should answer your question.


You are right, thanks for pointing out my mistake!

Though I didn't do any calculation. I used google, but it gave me 5.6 feet which I thought was in feet and inches, it was a decimal number. 5.6758530184 or 5 feet 8.1102362208 inches.

Sorry. In my old job that sort of mistake would have caused me a lot of trouble.

Then what I find silly about the thread is anyone at 5.8 thinking they are short, you have to be at least 5.6 to start seeing women not be interested in dating because of height.

This blog claims that data taken from match data site, the pool of women willing to date a 5.8 man is 43%, while at 5.6 it shrinks to 22%, while at 5.4 it shrinks to 5%. Which feels about right to my own experience and observation.

http://www.singlesteve.com/im-too-short-to-date-statistically-speaking/

So the OP isn't short at all, and even if he were, we are really talking about barriers to meeting. Once you meet and have a good time, height is much less important.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 29
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Importance of height?
Posted: 4/3/2016 7:55:33 AM
^^^^^ Actually, I'm wrong for misreading 5.67 feet and thinking it was just under 5 ft 7 inches when it's 5'8".

I stand corrected.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 30
Importance of height?
Posted: 4/4/2016 3:35:00 AM
"If you ain't 6'-0", eff right off."

- Women in online dating
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 31
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Importance of height?
Posted: 4/4/2016 1:37:18 PM
“This blog claims that data taken from match data site, the pool of women willing to date a 5.8 man is 43%, while at 5.6 it shrinks to 22%, while at 5.4 it shrinks to 5%. Which feels about right to my own experience and observation.”

Agreed on the statistics. Pretty much matched up with all other similar studies. When you start off with 5% interest before you even take into consideration facial attraction, ethnicity preferences, personality issues, etc… I mean, the 5’10” guy with 77% female interest still has to jump all those other hurdles and often fails, so just imagine your starting point is 75 points below that. Well, not that you and I have to imagine it. And if it’s bad in your early 20s when 80% of women are single, then once you head into your 40s and only 20% of women are available to date, of which 5% would date someone your height, and smaller fractions of that find your face attractive, and smaller fractions of that would date someone with your personality, and so on and so on and so on... yeah, my 9 years of datelessness makes a lot of statistical sense.

I found the comments to that study highly entertaining and informative.

“I am 5’2 and went out with a guy who was maybe 5’6 last year and he turned out to be a TOTAL**** Short guys, for whatever reason, maybe it’s the Napoleonic complex, think they deserve the hottest model on the planet.”

So you went out with one short guy with a bad attitude and somehow his behavior is indicative of every short guy on the planet? Women seem to stereotype a lot based on very limited personal experiences. “Lesson learned – no more short guys.” Maybe some men do this but I don’t come across it very much... maybe because we don’t learn dating lessons very well. Most of my worst dating experiences have been with women from racist backgrounds, yet I’ve got no problem dating yet another one of those, so long as I find her attractive, even though I know it’s a situation that will probably end up exactly like the previous ones, including me likely fleeing for my life from some place. I just can’t ever imagine myself saying “Man, I had a bad experience with a woman who was X last time – all X women must be the same, so no more of those!” I just don’t understand how so many women think that way. (I’m talking about things that are beyond the person’s control here. Obviously, if you’ve had a bad experience with a drug addict or alcoholic, I can understand why you’d never want to date another drug addict or alcoholic again. That’s not even close to the same as not dating anymore Italian men because all Italian men are hot-blooded.)

“I am 34, have been on online dating sites on and off for a couple years and chose a height of 5’7 as my minimum (I’m 5’4). However, I have dated guys who were closer to my height (i.e. shorter) because i found them, as an individuals, attractive.”

This is another thing I don’t get. Why put “preferences” in your profile that will be judged by most as “deal breakers” if it is not in fact a deal breaker and you don’t really care that much if at all about the preference? This is obviously a bigger problem on Match than most other OLD sites because of the preference listings, but I’ve even seen it on POF profiles: “I prefer tall guys but I’ll date the right short guy.” Okay...? And how am I supposed to know if I’m the right “short guy” that’ll make you ignore your supposed preference? Really, was that useful information at all? But back to Match: if both the woman and I are 5’4” and she lists her minimum as 5’7”, I’m going to assume she meant 5’7” was her deal-breaking minimum, otherwise why would she have even listed one at all? Because I don’t care if she “prefers” her guy be at least 5’7” – I want to know what the minimum she will consider is, and usually I assume it’s the height she put down, and will move on to the next woman if I don’t qualify. This is one reason real life should theoretically work better for short men, because women don’t operate with confusing height minimums in real life: they meet a guy and decide from interaction whether they like him. She might very well realize the guy is shorter and can’t feel any attraction for that reason, but that woman was a lost cause to begin with. The woman who made that comment, though, explicitly states that in real life I have a shot, whereas if I saw that minimum height listing on her profile, I’d just skip right over her, and most likely, she’d skip right over me if she saw my height on my profile, even though she admits that’s not actually a deal breaking height. But things just operate very differently in the OLD world.

But all that said, as I said above, at my age there are very few single (and sane) women left and finding them in real life is virtually impossible – so OLD still offers short men (and all men) the advantage of presenting single women in your area to you. They may not want to date you, but at least you know they are interested in dating, which I cannot say about any woman above the age of 35 I’ve met in real life over the past several years.
 BadResponseGuy
Joined: 3/26/2013
Msg: 32
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/6/2016 12:19:47 PM
Sounds like you're finding excuses for it to not work out.

Be happy it did work out, don't be one of those shallow people.
 samverhoeff
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 33
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/12/2016 6:33:44 AM
Thanks for the replies. I messaged her a day after making this thread, the date we went on was bowling so messaged her "How are you feeling after the bowling defeat? :p " or something within them lines of poking fun, never got a response. So either we had a 2+ hour date because she was too nice to make an excuse to finish it early and had no interest, or the height thing, or something else, no idea but it hurts anyway.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 34
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/12/2016 8:51:33 AM
^^^ Sorry to hear that. She knew your height going in, so it was something else, but please don't sweat it. It'll happen again, for reasons you'll never fathom, so never take it personally. And you'll date women you won't want to see again, as well. Eventually something will click. The good news is: you're getting dates which here is not the norm, so count yourself as being well ahead of the game.

Good luck with your future dating!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 35
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/12/2016 9:19:00 AM
I've never just walked out on people on a date just because I was not interested in having another. THAT is something I would consider rude. I can have a good time with people I'm not interested in dating.

There are reasons to walk out on a date, but not being interested in another date is not one of them in my book.

In light of the constant complaints about women's rudeness, it's interesting that we now have a complaint by an OP that a woman didn't let him just stand there in the middle of a bowling alley all by himself, but rather finished the date.

In addition, you said in your opening post that you still hadn't contacted her two days after the date, OP, and then you sent her a lame text about how she was feeling after the bowling defeat.

That kind of behavior would have killed it for me, even if I had been originally interested in a second date. A guy who ends a date without asking for another and then moreover still doesn't ask for a second date when he finally gets around to contacting me several days later comes across as not interested in dating as much as interested in having a texting pal.

The sole factor I used to determine whether a guy was interested was whether he asked me out again. Because I was not looking for a texting pal.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 36
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/12/2016 10:42:20 AM

The sole factor I used to determine whether a guy was interested was whether he asked me out again. Because I was not looking for a texting pal.


LiliMarleen makes it sound soooooo simple! LOL
When one IS interested IT IS simple!
(Men who insisted on texting me, are history. The man in my life stepped up, called, we talked, invited me to see him again. There was no doubt in my mind, he was interested in me.)
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 37
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/12/2016 10:45:23 AM
Hah!

As you know, Lady in Red, what turned out to be simple was knowledge acquired through many years of trial and error and many a desperate and tearful plea to the forums for help in figuring it all out.

Some of you may remember the body butter incident, or the guy who always called, but never wanted to meet up . . . ah, the memories!!!

Thank god I got some very valuable, though often tough, advice in here, which was part of why I learned to do things differently.
 samverhoeff
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 38
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:08:31 AM
@LiliMarleen

No offence but you are a totally different age bracket to myself and there seems to be a lot more crazy rules due to young females on dating sites getting hounded by guys and having more choice. My message after the date was playing around and poking fun which I have heard is good, as mentioned that was not my exact message - just an example; obviously I put more thought into my actual message to her. Also we had been joking around prior to the date and on the date about how we were both the ultimate bowlers in a playful manner - so my text had context to it; I didn't just randomly put her down, I knew with in the context it would be taken as playing around.

In addition to that, for my age bracket it is highly common and recommended to leave it a few days after the date before messaging, not my opinion at all but many sources will say this; If it were up to me I'd message a few hours after the date or the next day but apparently that comes off as desperation, I'd also ask for a second date at the end of the first, again . . comes off as desperate apparently.

Also, not sure how you assumed I though my date was rude, I have also stayed on dates I was not interested in then did not respond to their texts from disinterest, was merely asking if my height could of had something to do with it, I have bugger all experience with dating so was just wanting advice, not to have someone like yourself get snippy.
 samverhoeff
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 39
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:12:51 AM
Sorry for double post,

Along with the text I sent her, I also made a picture to show I was playing around:

http://s28.postimg.org/59ftsoa19/trohpy_both.jpg

Not really sure how I am considered lame by this, not many people would bother putting in effort to do that.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 40
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:35:46 AM

Thanks for the replies. I messaged her a day after making this thread, the date we went on was bowling so messaged her "How are you feeling after the bowling defeat? :p " or something within them lines of poking fun, never got a response. So either we had a 2+ hour date because she was too nice to make an excuse to finish it early and had no interest, or the height thing, or something else, no idea but it hurts anyway.


Dude, it's not your height. It's only a big deal if you're insecure about it. If you make them feel attraction for you, it doesn't matter how tall you are, if you're bald, if you have a belly, etc. Do you know how many girls have flaked out on me and every other man on the planet like that? It's normal. You just have to keep working on your game. You didn't expect to beat Super Mario Bros. the first time you played it, so don't expect every date to turn into a relationship. Just keep getting better.
 samverhoeff
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 41
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:41:57 AM
That is true, have only ever been on around 6 dates in my whole life (in the past 2 years thanks to POF), so my confidence and game isn't the best. If I try and find a positive out of all this; I can confidently say I am a lot better on my later dates than I was on the first couple. The Super Mario reference made it a lot easier to understand your point :p
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 42
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 1:55:23 PM

That is true, have only ever been on around 6 dates in my whole life (in the past 2 years thanks to POF), so my confidence and game isn't the best. If I try and find a positive out of all this; I can confidently say I am a lot better on my later dates than I was on the first couple. The Super Mario reference made it a lot easier to understand your point :p


The most important part of the whole dating game is being aware of women that are interested in you because they're usually not like men when they like you. They don't say "lol, me like you." Sometimes you don't realize it until after talking to a woman that she was into you and you dropped the ball and didn't ask her to hang out. I've been in that situation but I learned from it and now I'm better and recognizing the sings. For example, guys will ask how you can tell if a really beautiful woman at a club is interested in them when they're just making conversation. If she's standing there talking to you, that's an indicator of her interest. A hottest girl at a club doesn't have to stand there and listen to your stories, but if she is, that's a good sign. The only way to get better is with experience really. The guys that give up don't get better.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 43
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 2:14:08 PM

so my confidence and game isn't the best.


The only way to build confidence is by doing. Doing means making mistakes and allowing yourself to fvck up. Confidence is not making everything perfect, but realizing that all those mistakes are part of the process.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 44
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/14/2016 6:42:07 PM
Height means zero. I've heard this song and dance about how tall men find it easier to date. I know for a fact it doesn't. Want to spend an evening getting a backache, and learn to hate dancing? Try taking out a lady thats a foot shorter and won't wear heels, dancing. If you're in a relationship with the short lady, then prepare yourself to be nagged at because you're looking around the room instead of looking down at her.
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 45
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/15/2016 5:42:44 PM

Height means zero. I've heard this song and dance about how tall men find it easier to date.


'Purplerider' must refer to the copious amounts of purple drank you continuously consume... LOL. There's plenty of scientific studies evidencing the dating and mating advantages bestowed upon taller men. Dafuq people come on these forums like flat Earth theorists and deny it is hilarious to me.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 46
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/15/2016 6:54:32 PM
Well if he did a search on whether tall men find it easier to date, he would find numerous links affirming it.
Easier to blame things on one factor than consider the alternatives.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 47
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/15/2016 9:35:25 PM

'Purplerider' must refer to the copious amounts of purple drank you continuously consume... LOL. There's plenty of scientific studies evidencing the dating and mating advantages bestowed upon taller men. Dafuq people come on these forums like flat Earth theorists and deny it is hilarious to me.


So what? There's scientific evidence that women with perfect waist to hip ratios and and a symmetrical face have the advantage too, but average women still get lots of dates. The bottom line is that lots of tall guys have no idea what they're doing and it's easy to outperform them if you put even the smallest bit of effort into improving your game. One factor that's beyond your control isn't a big deal.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 48
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/15/2016 9:54:24 PM
samverhoeff- This is directed at no one in particular, but I HAVE to say it...........
SOME men who are short cop a serious attitude, now this is NOT all short men, but I've seen it.
While I admit I prefer that a man be taller than me, it is NOT a deal breaker (and btw, NOT a huge issue since I'm only 5'5), but if he has a Napoloen complex, and they DO exist, THAT is a deal breaker.
Notice to men: If this is you, it is NOT your stature that is the problem, it is your attitude about your stature and no one can fix that but you!
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 49
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 3:36:57 AM
Cite your sources...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 50
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 10:34:44 AM

Cite your sources...


Sources for what? It's common sense.
People would see zero results if there was no possible way to improve your "luck" or "game".
It's common sense that people do better with women when they show non neediness, demonstrate value, take a leading role, appear calm and collected (not affected by her beauty), and act in a way that shows they're process oriented. The most important factor that grants them more success is reference experience and experimenting to see what works and what doesn't work. Some people give up and some people want to get better. There are so many things you could be doing to improve your game, including common sense things like hitting the gym.
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