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 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 51
Importance of heigh?Page 3 of 51    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

So what? There's scientific evidence that women with perfect waist to hip ratios and and a symmetrical face have the advantage too, but average women still get lots of dates.


I don't know what it is about OLD in that it attracts so many women who state they will only date men who are taller than average. I saw one girl's profile the other day that said "Do not message me unless you're over 6ft." Maybe in real life shorter men have a better chance, but I can't see how somebody can deny that online dating can be very difficult for them. If a woman won't give them the opportunity to show non-neediness, taking a leading role, appearing calm, etc. in the first place, how can they be successful?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 52
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 11:37:52 AM

Offline might work a little better for short guys..... if the woman starts to fall for you and your personality, she'll forget about the height.


Online or offline, it makes no difference. I had a woman come up to meet me from Texas and she never once asked about my height. None of the women that wanted long distance relationships with me knew how tall I was or asked about my height. People are just hung up about it because they're insecure or they see it on a few profiles.


I don't know what it is about OLD in that it attracts so many women who state they will only date men who are taller than average. I saw one girl's profile the other day that said "Do not message me unless you're over 6ft." Maybe in real life shorter men have a better chance, but I can't see how somebody can deny that online dating can be very difficult for them. If a woman won't give them the opportunity to show non-neediness, taking a leading role, appearing calm, etc. in the first place, how can they be successful?


I don't think it's any more difficult for them. I'm between 5'7 and 5'8 so it's not like you have to be 6 feet tall to start up online relationships or generate interest from women locally and abroad. Also, not every woman's profile says "lol, must be over 6 foot". There are so many profiles that don't say that, that you could spend an eternity messaging them. Then you can break down the ones that have qualifiers on their profile into the ones that stick to them and the ones that put them there on a whim because they had a lot of losers messaging them and wanted to appear more picky. Lot of women won't give you opportunity even if you fit her physical requirements for whatever reason, so why worry about it? They can still be successful by not wasting time on women that won't write back and message other women.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 53
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 4:07:47 PM

if the woman starts to fall for you and your personality, she'll forget about the height


Isn't that what the guys who LIE about their height to get the live meet, are hoping?

How well does THAT work out?

Oh, yeah, it's the LIE the women object to, not the height.

Right.

The sealady told us here about one guy she met who lied about his height and she was taller than him, and she flat out admitted that if she had known his real height beforehand, she would not have agreed to the meet.
And she has been open-minded enough to meet 600 guys over the last 10 years. Or so she said.


People are just hung up about it because they're insecure or they see it on a few profiles.


Or maybe more than one person has said to them in real life, "You're too short for me".


Also, not every woman's profile says "lol, must be over 6 foot".


True.
But just because it doesn't say that in their profile, doesn't mean they AREN'T thinking that or have that as a requirement.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 54
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 4:49:39 PM
Seems like many people need to re check their height. Weigh too but this thread about height
None of the few men I met before BF were the height they claimed on their profile. I mean typing you are 5 10" doesn't MAKE you that.
I bet some women experienced same thing, ergo the requirement on their profiles
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 55
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/16/2016 5:01:13 PM
^^^ Well, I met a girl who claimed she was 5'7 in her profile. When I actually met her, she was about my height - 5'10.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 56
Importance of Length?
Posted: 4/16/2016 8:35:52 PM
Should I list my nude height or date height (with shoes) ?

 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 57
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Importance of Length?
Posted: 4/17/2016 12:15:51 AM
I chuckle when I see this one...

"Must be taller than me when I wear heels."

The error in this is she is comparing her height in footwear versus him being barefoot. Men's footwear can easily add 1"-3" depending on the type of footwear.

My question would be...

Does she wear her heels 24/7? Does she shower/bathe in them? Does she sleep in them? Does she hike in them? Does she workout in them?

Does a couple of inches really matter? Maybe in the bedroom...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 58
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 12:19:21 AM

Or maybe more than one person has said to them in real life, "You're too short for me".


Who cares? Guys get rejected for all sorts of reason. They're bald. They're hair is too long. They're not the same religion. I've dated quite a few taller women and none of them ever said height was a factor. There are more than enough women that don't care about height. You don't need to dwell on the extremely picky ones. People are acting like one factor like their height is holding them back when there's so much you can do and so many women that don't care that you can always have a girlfriend.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 59
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:08:14 AM

Well, I met a girl who claimed she was 5'7 in her profile. When I actually met her, she was about my height - 5'10.


Was she wearing heels?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 60
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:24:45 AM

Also, not every woman's profile says "lol, must be over 6 foot". There are so many profiles that don't say that, that you could spend an eternity messaging them.


Of course, not all women's profiles on POF have some type of height requirement. But many do and some other women may care about height. But didn't include in their profile. OLD sites like Match have a section where a woman can list the preferred height of her date. The vast majority of women's profiles that I saw had a minimum height that was taller than her. Sometimes several inches taller than her because she wanted to wear heels and still be shorter than a man.


Online or offline, it makes no difference.


It can make a difference because many people raise their expectation level when there are more potential dating options. It's not impossible for a short man to find a date. But he can have a smaller dating pool. Just like young single parents or obese people or people that don't have a car.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 61
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:46:49 AM

But just because it doesn't say that in their profile, doesn't mean they AREN'T thinking that or have that as a requirement.


Probably right. They may have been advised not to put a height, or weight, or race requirement on their profile because of possible backlash.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 62
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 10:44:19 AM

Was she wearing heels?


No, I would have noticed if she was.

If tall men are so desirable it only makes sense that a woman has to be above average in some way for her to get a man of above average height. I read a profile that said "Don't message me unless you're over 6 ft" then the she goes on to admit that she doesn't have the perfect body, but she's curvy.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 63
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 5:23:17 PM
Stellan77

If tall men are so desirable it only makes sense that a woman has to be above average in some way for her to get a man of above average height.


Most of the men I've dated have been 6' or taller. Given this form of logic I must be above average :)
 no_kids_please
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 64
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 6:26:06 PM
Not necessarily. The data simply shows that men claiming* to be between 6'-1" and 6'-7" (6'-8" and above are "freaks" apparently and are as horrible a proposition as 5'-7" men) get more attention than those below the mark which slopes down pretty quickly/brutally. It doesn't correlate the rated attractiveness of those sending messages to these guys. I've seen my fair share of goofy looking tall men/women/couples.

*On average, guys are exaggerating their height 1" - 2".
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 65
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 6:34:51 PM
173 cm is 5'8". A woman who is 5'8" and wears 2" heels can be an issue for some and Inner Gorilla is right shorter men do find it harder and have less options. In this click next dating world though women will just move on to the more ideal height i.e. 5'10 and over, I am afraid. Some men have always lied about their height in my experience and I guess women do it about their weight. Even the guys who are 5'11 will say they are 6 feet lol!!

 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 66
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 7:21:06 PM

Not necessarily. The data simply shows that men claiming* to be between 6'-1" and 6'-7" (6'-8" and above are "freaks" apparently and are as horrible a proposition as 5'-7" men) get more attention than those below the mark which slopes down pretty quickly/brutally. It doesn't correlate the rated attractiveness of those sending messages to these guys. I've seen my fair share of goofy looking tall men/women/couples.

*On average, guys are exaggerating their height 1" - 2".


I'm sure that's true, just like women with big breasts or natural good looks get more attention. It doesn't really mean anything though. A guy that's average or shorter than average has more than enough options to keep him busy.
 Llove2laughtoo
Joined: 1/11/2016
Msg: 67
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:02:17 PM

Msg: 66
The data simply shows that men claiming* to be between 6'-1" and 6'-7" (6'-8" and above are "freaks" apparently and are as horrible a proposition as 5'-7" men) get more attention than those below the mark which slopes down pretty quickly/brutally. It doesn't correlate the rated attractiveness of those sending messages to these guys. I've seen my fair share of goofy looking tall men/women/couples.


I think sometimes some people are sabotaging themselves from finding love by their fixation with height requirements.

I'm 6'-4" tall. When I moved to Philly in 1998, dated a woman a lot shorter than me (4'-11"). Just my luck, she'd happen to be the best Latin dance partner I've ever had. Due to our height differences, sometimes people stared at us on the dance floor. Bottom line is, we were having so much fun we didn't care. We dated for about 16 months, until she moved abroad.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 68
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/18/2016 6:48:13 AM

Most of the men I've dated have been 6' or taller. Given this form of logic I must be above average :)


You are a blue eyed, Caucasian woman with aveage body type, average height, a bachelors degree and a very good job. (Note that average height and average body type is actually a good thing)

You don't appear to believe it, but you are in fact above average.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 69
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 3:04:34 PM
Well, on the 9th annivermisery of my last date, here is my latest story on this topic:

A few weeks ago, an attractive 30-something redhead matched me on Tinder. She then actually responded to my introductory message. Then it took her a week to respond to my next message. Then another week to respond to the next one. It was going ridiculously slow, so a couple weeks ago, I sent her my phone number. A few hours later I get a regular text from her (first time ever from a Tinder match after 2+ years on it). This started an avalanche of dialogue, about 50 conversational texts in the first day that ended with her asking if I wanted to meet (again, first time ever from a Tinder match). Of course I said “Yes,” and we scheduled the “date” for this past Wednesday, which at the time was a few days into the future.

We texted a few times every day from that point on but she never said anything about calling her so I decided there wasn’t really a point because I was learning a lot from just her texts and have met quite a number of women without ever talking on the phone (plus, I hate talking on the phone, especially to someone I haven’t even met).

Wednesday morning, I get a text saying how excited she was to meet me that night and I responded in kind. At that point, I kind of knew it was about time to ask her how tall she was, because she didn’t mention it in her Tinder-sized profile, nor did I in mine, it never came up in conversation and neither of us had pictures that revealed our height, and I’m not the kind of short guy to spring a meeting surprise on an Amazon, plus that also leads to stand-ups (when they see you, are disappointed and decide to walk back to the car without saying anything).

Turns out, she was one step ahead of me. Before I could ask her that question, next text I got from her (completely unprovoked) was, “How tall are you?”

I figured she was likely tall or she wouldn’t have asked – short women may not want to date short men any more than tall women do but in my experience, they don’t bother asking in situations like this since being seen with a short man won’t lead to embarrassment for them, unlike tall women. So I got really nervous about responding and procrastinated for a while until it was about 3 hours before we were supposed to meet and finally sent my height (5’4”) without any qualifiers or other information.

2 hours pass and it’s an hour to our date and I still hadn’t received a response from her. So I sent her another text: “Are we still meeting tonight?”

I got an immediate response: “Who is this?!”

The only explanation for that would be that she deleted my contact information. So I texted her my name, ading “the guy you were going to meet at 7 tonight at your favorite restaurant Carrabbas.”

30 minutes pass, no response. I had to leave for the restaurant at that point in the event that she actually was going to show up but for some reason I wasn’t getting affirmative texts from her -- obviously the situation did not look good, but because she hadn’t officially cancelled, if she showed up and I didn’t, then *I* would be standing her up, and I don’t stand women up, so I sent her a message telling her I was on my way.

Got there a few minutes before 7, still had no new messages from her, waited until 7:15 near the doorway, still no pretty redhead, and finally gave up, sending her a message thanking her for the conversation and apologizing for not telling her my height sooner, then went home and watched the Rays play. I’ve heard nothing from her since.

So that’s how I came up just short (hah!) on my last chance to break my dateless streak before it hit 9 years today, and the closest I came to a date in at least a year.

This incident is just another in a long line of them for me that proves there are some women out there in OLD that think I have a great personality and am worth meeting... if I were taller. But that one thing is enough to be a deal breaker. (Again, she could have been a foot taller or two inches shorter, I have no idea. I just know for certain that my height was a big enough problem for her to stand me up. Unlike the OP and in many of my own cases, there is no doubt that my height was the rejection reason in this situation.)

On POF, I normally stick with searches, matches, Meet Me – all features that only send me women my height or shorter, whether I want it that way or not. But lately I’ve been clicking on some of the profiles that pop up at the top of the forums, which are so randomly generated that they include all ages and heights. Probably about once a day while doing that, I come across an awesome profile of an awesome woman I’ve never seen before... and then look at her height and realize she’s taller than me, often much taller than me (which is why I’ve never seen her before) and then I close her profile and continue on with whatever I was doing. Though with some small sense of sadness about how different things could be for me if not for this one little thing.

And looking back, almost all my actual OLD dates were through Tinder-type applications – that is, ones without height searches or listings, and my dates didn’t find out my height until after they were already “smitten” with me through extensive emails or phone conversations – I met over 20 women that way (though I also got stood up a lot and cancelled on a lot and lost communication a lot after revealing my height, and most that actually happened were one date-and-dones). My greatest OLD failure rates have all been with sites with height listings and searches like POF and Match. I’ve sent out tens of thousands of messages and barely received any on them. I have one meeting (apparently, not a date) after about 20 years on Match. I had about 4 meetings (apparently none considered by the woman to be a date) over 9 years on POF. OLD is definitely a tough world. It is not for the weak of heart or quitters.

Anyway, happy 9th annivermisery to me. Here’s to my long gone date from 4/22/07, and here’s to 4/22/17, the big 10-0, which seems pretty likely to happen, assuming I live that long and don’t go the way of Prince, may that fellow short brown-skinned man rest in peace. I’m going to go party this weekend with my best friends like it’s 4/22/17. (Obviously, Prince’s version sounded a little better.)
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 70
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 3:36:30 PM
Oh Hawking.......you know my heart goes out to you.

It is so easy for me to just say.... don't let it bother you and try to reassure you that you will find someone because I don't live with your reality. I know I could have dates if I so chose with very little effort on my part....so I can't ever know exactly how you feel. But I will say....finding that "one"......is difficult for everyone....no matter how many options one does or doesn't have.


You handled that situation with such class, dignity and kindness. I have faith that someone will see who you are. :)


And......have a great time this weekend. Maybe even buy a pair of jeans....pair it with a white dress shirt and DANCE!

Most important.....just have fun!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 71
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 5:46:55 PM
The bottom line is that people complain about getting stood up over their height, their looks, their job, their car, their hair/baldness, weight etc. Every type of guy has been stood up and had trouble getting dates. I've met lots of women from this site and other sites and hardly any of them asked my height. I've had women come to see me from other countries and they never asked my height. I would play around a little bit if a girl is actually asking your height and use it as an opportunity to show your confidence. Take a serious look around at the losers a lot women are dating and realize you're better than them. Online game is frustrating and everyone gets flake outs, so focus on networking in real life, building your social circle and being active in your community.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 72
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 6:17:06 PM
Hawking, I can't believe she could not even cancel the date. You will eventually meet someone . But not cancelling is just plain rude.

I am 5 ft tall. I drove to meet a black man two hours away. He knew my height. He was very nice and tall. The first thing he said to me when he met me ( in a down pour) was " I thought your legs would be longer judging from your pictures. " I had on a heels and a skirt. All I could think of ( but did not say) was "do you think a woman's legs reach up to their arm pits!)

Learn to laugh and brush off the remarks!
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 73
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 7:44:17 PM

I've met lots of women from this site and other sites and hardly any of them asked my height.


But you aren't short.

======================================
This story about one experience I had was a little funny to me.

I contacted a young lady on POF, she was about 24, in her profile she was into bike riding and I wanted someone younger to bike with that lived close. She said she lived with her mother.

I wrote to her, and said her mother probably wouldn't approve of me. She wrote back, saying she was looking for a tall man.

So being 36 years older wasn't a big deal, but me beinging short was.

I advised her that putting that she was looking for a tall man in her profile wasn't a good idea as it might turn off some taller men. Soon after that she deleted her profile.

I wasn't looking to date, I was already engaged, so I wasn't upset, just a little bemused. I just wanted someone younger that would be more of a challenge to ride with.
===============================
I wouldn't be happy with using Tinder without putting my height in. I get it that women might get to know me first, but I would rather that be upfront info and not bring it up later.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 74
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/22/2016 7:47:48 PM

But you aren't short.


Only the ones on this site knew my height. The woman from Texas didn't know my height. The ones I met from mIRC, Facebook and other sites didn't know. There are lots of women that want a rich guy, a bald guy, a musician, a banker, whatever, but so what, there are so many other women out there to talk to. It's not worth it to cry over the ones that turn up their nose at you.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 75
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/23/2016 3:44:29 AM
@Hawking: I agree with kj and ndm. That woman was RUDE...not to mention immature! You dodged a bullet. If you were taller and she showed up, you may have wasted time on a very flaky/superficial person, only to realize it later. I really don't get why people would just plain stand someone up...how hard is it to send a quick text and cancel?? I've heard women complaining about men who do the same...it just irks me!! I know you were being polite and all, but I wish you wouldn't have apologized to her. YOU did nothing wrong - she's the one who should be apologizing. I just hope you realize a lot of women aren't that shallow. My friend, for instance, is just over 5" (I think she's about 5"1 or 2), and she's gorgeous, and has dated guys of various heights, including her own height. But yeah, 9 years is a long time, and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't suck. But like kj said, it's hard to find the "right" person even if you do have a lot of dates. I've only ever dated one guy I was seriously interested in (among several unrequited crushes, and a couple guys I was lukewarm about), and that was over 4 years ago. It didn't work out, and since then I've had a handful of (rather unsuccessful) dates, but nothing close to a relationship. In fact, I've recently been chasing after a guy I met a few months ago (I've mentioned this elsewhere in the forums - sorry to be redundant), who happens to be around my own height, and it looks like I might be having another date with him, but he's taking his sweet time getting around to it! It's frustrating, especially since the majority of guys I meet have few common interests and there just isn't a "click" personality wise. I hope you, myself and others on here meet that "right" person. If I do, I'll have no regrets about not going on more boring/unproductive dates. Lol. But in the meantime, it sucks. >:(
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