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 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 76
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Only the ones on this site knew my height. The woman from Texas didn't know my height. The ones I met from mIRC, Facebook and other sites didn't know. There are lots of women that want a rich guy, a bald guy, a musician, a banker, whatever, but so what, there are so many other women out there to talk to. It's not worth it to cry over the ones that turn up their nose at you.


That was exactly Hawking point.

When women don't know his height, they are willing to meet. When they find out, they cancel, stand him up, or it's one date and done.

If you met these women and they all said you were too short for them, then you would conclude being short was a major problem. You don't have a problem, so you assume it's all "mental". (Like maybe if I had more confidence, I really could have been an all star NBA player.)

Believe me, I also get your point. IMO part of Hawk's problem is he is defeating himself. BUT it's only part of the problem, he should be able to get more dates and more importantly, a lot more relationships.

It's hard to put numbers on it, but I would guess from my experience being 5.4 in height makes it about 10 times harder to date. Meaning if you get 100 dates, I would get 10. Assuming we are both equal in all other things. But I would still be able to get 10 dates, I would just have to have a good strategy and have to accept I will never be able to date as easy as you would in the USA.

Honestly, it's very rare that a woman has told me I am too short, I seldom think about it outside of the forums, and the only time I was rejected for that was in the story about the 24 year old woman. BUT I think it does dramatically change the types of woman I have dated in the past.

And as far as relationships go, I can't seem to avoid them.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 77
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/23/2016 12:29:03 PM

It's hard to put numbers on it, but I would guess from my experience being 5.4 in height makes it about 10 times harder to date. Meaning if you get 100 dates, I would get 10. Assuming we are both equal in all other things. But I would still be able to get 10 dates, I would just have to have a good strategy and have to accept I will never be able to date as easy as you would in the USA.


Lots of things can be a disadvantage, but they only get in the way if you let them. Guys get rejected all the time for not having the right look or the right personality. It's silly to give up because you don't get as many dates as a guy born with natural good looks or a guy that's naturally confident and good with social interactions. There are tall guys that sit at home because they're too shy to talk to girls. The main problem is insecurity and saying "you're too short" is their way of saying "no thanks" because she can see you're insecure and doesn't want to invest in a relationship with you. You're never going to be able to live up to every superficial expectation, so all you can do is let it go and present yourself as a person that's secure and not needy. No matter how tall you are or how much money you have, you're still going to be comparing yourself to a guy that's taller or richer than you. The only solution is to fix your inner problems.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 78
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/23/2016 12:48:29 PM
so someone wants a younger activity partner only..strictly platonic, but for some reason must be of opposite sex? hmm, I'm sure if the laundry was dropped somehow, there'd be no objection?
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 79
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/23/2016 2:43:58 PM

So I got really nervous about responding and procrastinated for a while until it was about 3 hours before we were supposed to meet and finally sent my height (5’4”) without any qualifiers or other information.
2 hours pass and it’s an hour to our date and I still hadn’t received a response from her. So I sent her another text: “Are we still meeting tonight?”
I got an immediate response: “Who is this?!”
The only explanation for that would be that she deleted my contact information. So I texted her my name, ading “the guy you were going to meet at 7 tonight at your favorite restaurant Carrabbas.”
30 minutes pass, no response. I had to leave for the restaurant at that point in the event that she actually was going to show up but for some reason I wasn’t getting affirmative texts from her -- obviously the situation did not look good, but because she hadn’t officially cancelled, if she showed up and I didn’t, then *I* would be standing her up, and I don’t stand women up, so I sent her a message telling her I was on my way.
Got there a few minutes before 7, still had no new messages from her, waited until 7:15 near the doorway, still no pretty redhead, and finally gave up, sending her a message thanking her for the conversation and apologizing for not telling her my height sooner, then went home and watched the Rays play. I’ve heard nothing from her since.


I wouldn't have gone to this date. The fact that she didn't respond with "Yes, we are still on" or something similar when you tried to confirm definitely would have told me that she is no longer interested. If for some reason, a woman did show up and I didn't, I simply would have told her that I thought she had lost interest because she didn't respond to my texts or calls.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 80
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/23/2016 11:33:25 PM

Lots of things can be a disadvantage, but they only get in the way if you let them. Guys get rejected all the time for not having the right look or the right personality. It's silly to give up because you don't get as many dates as a guy born with natural good looks or a guy that's naturally confident and good with social interactions. There are tall guys that sit at home because they're too shy to talk to girls. The main problem is insecurity and saying "you're too short" is their way of saying "no thanks" because she can see you're insecure and doesn't want to invest in a relationship with you. You're never going to be able to live up to every superficial expectation, so all you can do is let it go and present yourself as a person that's secure and not needy. No matter how tall you are or how much money you have, you're still going to be comparing yourself to a guy that's taller or richer than you. The only solution is to fix your inner problems.


And honestly how much of it is Hawking being short vs Hawking thinking it's because he's short, how many women are telling him he's too short vs him just assuming because he's too short? My cousin is 5'5" and he gets dates all the time, he's also really confident and has a "**** all" attitude. Being rejected isn't going to phase him, or stop him. I know men out there are who under 5'4" who are married and have kids so being short never stopped them from finding love, it's gotta be deeper than just height when it comes to Hawking's issues. According to a lot of women me being 5'9" means I'm short and I'm still able to date. There's a dozen things I hate about my looks but my height has never been one of them. I hate the gap in my front teeth so I hardly ever smile in pictures, my smile is slightly crooked so I'm self-conscious about it, I use to hate that my lips were big, I have a gut that seems to be a **** to lose now that I'm 30, I wear a size 13 shoe so I feel like my feet are too big for my body, the same with my hands. my hair is thinning and I have a receding hairline, none of this shit is attractive to women, I feel like I hit my peak at age 25 and it's all gone downhill from there. If I was going to get married and have kids that was my window, so my height is the least of my problems.
 Kodanshi
Joined: 9/19/2015
Msg: 81
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 4:52:43 AM
It's cute how you consider 5'9" 'short'.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 82
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 5:29:50 AM

Guys get rejected all the time for not having the right look or the right personality. It's silly to give up because you don't get as many dates as a guy born with natural good looks or a guy that's naturally confident and good with social interactions. There are tall guys that sit at home because they're too shy to talk to girls. The main problem is insecurity and saying "you're too short" is their way of saying "no thanks" because she can see you're insecure and doesn't want to invest in a relationship with you.


I have seen a number of those types of average height to taller men on the forums, a lot of them have stated they have Aspergers Syndrome, it's 4 times more common in men than women.

You can't really say everyone's main problem is insecurity without looking at their individual problems.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 83
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 6:54:22 AM
Not just Aspergers....it seems many can be labelled with something if so desired.
Not to offend anyone with a syndrome, disease or illness....I truly don't want to.
But it seems to be so many people have "something" ...if a person behaves out of the "ordinary" or "norm" of someones expectation....you are diagnosed with a syndrome.
Starting with the children in school....makes me a bit suspicious and angry too.
Just my opinion.

I like guys under 6 feet....
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 84
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 7:08:56 AM
^^^. I get tired of that too. Someone always has "something" or is "special". Or comes withs a list of letters, OCD, ADD or a mixture. The latest one that ticks me off is special parking close to the mall doors for "pregnant women or families with children". Please, I fully understand handicapped parking, but this. So some woman pregnant woman get to park closer to the door somshenwas....walk 5 miles in the mall to find that perfect pair of shoes. WTF. Get rid of these and add more handicapped spots.

As for height and Hawkings, why not try the Philipphines ? They love shorter men, successful men, men from the US. My brother is happily married now for 4 years to his wife from Manilla. She's educated (6 years of university), hard working, attractive, kind, funny, artistic.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 85
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 7:14:49 AM
^^
Read a story about someone who wanted to be a surgeon but couldn't handle the residency..trying to sue through the human rights commissions because he says he has ADHD and should be accommodated, have special accommodations, more time than others to do tasks.
Yeah! a great idea, a surgeon who can't focus..?
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 86
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 7:35:02 AM

It's cute how you consider 5'9" 'short'.


I don't think it's short but other women do think it's short, it's according to people either it's under 5'10 which is the average height in the US, so I must be short. Though the average height being 5'10" is actually white men, for black men it's slightly over 5'9" which is funny because it's mostly black women who tend to think that I'm shorter than the guys they're dating when statistically it says otherwise.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 87
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 7:40:21 AM

Not just Aspergers....it seems many can be labelled with something if so desired.
Not to offend anyone with a syndrome, disease or illness....I truly don't want to.
But it seems to be so many people have "something" ...if a person behaves out of the "ordinary" or "norm" of someones expectation....you are diagnosed with a syndrome.
Starting with the children in school....makes me a bit suspicious and angry too.
Just my opinion.


I can notice a distinct differences in the way these posters think and write.

"Scientists have confirmed that variations in a particular gene play a key role in the autism spectrum condition known as Asperger Syndrome. They have also found that variations in the same gene are also linked to differences in empathy levels in the general population. - See more at: http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/study-confirms-a-gene-linked-to-asperger-syndrome-and-empathy#sthash.yJ8pYW9X.dpuf

I am often struck with how much genetic variations cause all kinds of different behaviors, health and diet peculiarities.

It really makes it easier to understand why many people are "different".

However, I am not certain how much "accommodation" society should make for these people?

I once read a sci-fi book based on the principal that all people are created equal, and there should remain precisely equal opportunity for all. It was food for thought about this whole issue.

So everyone had to have and wear handicaps if they were especially good at something, to make them equal. If you were smarter than average, you were fitted with a hearing aid that constantly fed you a stream of voices that would act as a mental distraction. Athletic people had to wear weighted garments so they were more like ordinary people.

Yes I do think we can get carried away with victum-hood, with people laying claim to need special help from society.

IMO it's always going to be a fine line between how much variation in people is just normal and a good thing and how much deserves to be called a handicap where we need to make some special accommodation for?
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 88
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 11:11:53 AM

Coma_White said,
I would play around a little bit if a girl is actually asking your height and use it as an opportunity to show your confidence.



Hawking, listen to Coma White, he's right....... I would have jokingly said, "But a lady is not supposed to tell", or, "I'm actually a 4' pygmy". She would have forgotten the original question and shown up for the date. Don't let them weed you out before the date. Just set up a date and try not to talk much until then. You can also say, "Let's talk more on the date".

The biggest problem is not your height or your teeth, it's your attitude. A good attitude is one of the main ingredients of a good catch. You fix what you can fix, don't worry about the rest, and focus on your positives, your strengths.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 89
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 1:14:42 PM

"Scientists have confirmed that variations in a particular gene play a key role in the autism spectrum condition known as Asperger Syndrome. They have also found that variations in the same gene are also linked to differences in empathy levels in the general population. - See more at: http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/study-confirms-a-gene-linked-to-asperger-syndrome-and-empathy#sthash.yJ8pYW9X.dpuf


I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and I still seem to have the ability to empathize with people. I can also discern when something is not to be taken literally. That has made me wonder if I really am on the autism spectrum, but I received a formal diagnosis from a doctor.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 90
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 1:38:32 PM


I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and I still seem to have the ability to empathize with people. I can also discern when something is not to be taken literally. That has made me wonder if I really am on the autism spectrum, but I received a formal diagnosis from a doctor.


- Some people are never diagnosed, others are diagnosed in error. I'd consider getting a second opinion.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 91
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 5:13:09 PM
"Some people are never diagnosed, others are diagnosed in error. I'd consider getting a second opinion."

Change your main picture, because some people might get the wrong idea about how much you drink when the main picture is of you drinking beer.
There. That's a second opinion.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 92
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 6:01:42 PM
^^^ It's not beer, it's apple cider.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 93
Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/24/2016 10:05:48 PM
Hopefully its D1cken's brand. B/c everyone loves to get their D1cken's cider.

Sometimes, I wonder how much intelligence depends upon interest. Generally speaking, I think we learn about what we're interested in. If we're curious about the world around us, we might bone up on everything that comes our way, read any article we can get our hands on, etc, and maybe become a Renaissance Man. But, if we're self interested, self focused, we might only learn about what the world delivers to our doorstep. We might not get in your head and wonder why you gave us what we wanted (or didn't), all we want to know about is...did you give it to us or not?

I've talked to some "dumb bunnies" who could be very insightful...and the rest of the time, played dumb and took the easy path in life rather than work hard towards a logical solution, etc.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 94
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Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 7:49:24 AM
KJ: “And......have a great time this weekend.”

Unfortunately, something rather catastrophic happened to me (after this post) at the beginning of the weekend and it ended up being the exact opposite of “great,” but that’s completely unrelated to the topic of this thread. But thank you for your kind words.

Ndem: “Learn to laugh and brush off the remarks!”

Well, in this situation... there were no remarks. And nothing to laugh at, really. I guess someone could laugh at me for actually going to the restaurant after it was obvious what was happening, but I did it out of a sense of obligation, not deluded hope that it would turn out differently. And thanks as well.

Dragon: “I wouldn't be happy with using Tinder without putting my height in. I get it that women might get to know me first, but I would rather that be upfront info and not bring it up later.”

SHE didn’t put her height on her profile either. Is it only misleading if a short man does it? If she’s 6 feet tall, she’s wasting a lot of men’s time, too, by not putting her height on her profile or bringing it up early in the process – she really has no one to blame but herself for wasting a week talking to someone “undateable” by her standards. I don’t feel too bad about this strategy – I hate to sound like Coma or Blackwood but most didn’t seem to care upon the height revelation (and again, I always told them BEFORE the meeting to give them a chance to back out, because I’m not such a lowlife as to put a tall woman in what she feels is an embarrassing situation). But those two are ignoring reality if they don’t think height has a powerful effect on sites like POF with height listings and searches. Arguably Tinder is more like real life (where personalities can overcome certain negative physical attributes) than POF is.

LJane: “You dodged a bullet. If you were taller and she showed up, you may have wasted time on a very flaky/superficial person, only to realize it later.”

You act as if I’m opposed to dating a flaky/superficial person. That said, even my second best friend (arguably a rather superficial person – see my other post back in our original thread) said of this woman “She must be braindead – even if she deleted your contact info, how did she not know who was asking her if they were still meeting that night?” I pointed out it was somewhat possible she had scheduled another meeting or event that night. But probably not. Looking back at all her messages, there was really nothing to indicate she was a thoughtless person. She did a good job at fooling me. UNLESS... she was mad at me because I knew that not mentioning my height early on is “lying by omission” since it’s universally known to be a negative so she decided to be rude to teach me a lesson. Although a better lesson, perhaps, would have been for her to tear me a new one instead of just vanishing (but then she wouldn’t have gotten the joy of standing me up – although she could have stood me up, THEN torn me a new one, which would have gotten her both!).

South: “I wouldn't have gone to this date.”

This was the first meeting I’d been able to set up at all in 3 years. I’m really not in a position to play the odds that she wasn’t going to show up, even if they were 1 in 1000 by that point that point that she wasn’t. If you date frequently, I can see why you probably don’t bother showing up under such circumstances, but my next opportunity could be another 3 years, 9 years, never. I don’t disagree with your assessment of the situation at all – but it’s kind of like being on an upper floor of the World Trade Center while it’s burning and jumping out a window, because that’s slightly less hopeless than staying... maybe there’s a net below you can’t see, maybe a helicopter’s going to scoop you out of the air, maybe you’ll flap your wings and actually fly, but if you stay in the building, you’re definitely going to die. So I flapped my wings and jumped out of the building.

Blackwood: “And honestly how much of it is Hawking being short vs Hawking thinking it's because he's short, how many women are telling him he's too short vs him just assuming because he's too short?”

Are you suggesting in THIS situation that my height had nothing to do with getting stood up?

As I myself have said before, if it was just height, then I’d just be somewhat disadvantaged, not starting on year 10 of a dateless streak. If I could sing, play instruments and dance like my brother-from-another-mother Prince, I’d probably never be without female interest, even if I didn’t become rich and famous like he did. That said, I’m talking about real world interest with him -- OLD is another matter entirely. If Prince wasn’t rich and famous and had put a profile on POF, almost certainly his results would be even worse than mine, since he was (very slightly) shorter and OLD is all about pics and stats, and nearly all women definitely exclude shorter male heights when searching. The only reason he might have done better than me is if he was more handsome than I am, which, I don’t know, I think we are pretty much the same. If women think Prince was hotter than me, it’s almost certainly not because he’s more naturally handsome than me – it was his talent (years beyond any that I have) and public persona (as weird as it often was). Whether he actually portrayed “confidence” is debatable considering how much he hid from the public and was so controlling about what people thought of him (for example, being one of the very few artists to ever reject Weird Al’s request to parody one of his songs – he really couldn’t stand to be made fun of, although he obviously let Chappelle and Armisen get away with it).

“Being rejected isn't going to phase him, or stop him.”/Coma “It's silly to give up”

I have over 20,000 lifetime rejections, including a number last week. Just exactly how do you view that as me stopping myself or “giving up”? That said, I have no interest in the scary women that are in my Meet Mes and don’t ask them or similar women out – you can be extremely successful despite being a largely undesired human being if you’re willing to date other undesired human beings. I did that enough in my early 20s, thanks. Yet, I find the vast majority of women attractive, so it’s not like I’m being really picky. But just about the only women that ever contact me on non-Tinder-type OLD sites are bottom 1%-ers.

Blackwood: “I hate the gap in my front teeth so I hardly ever smile in pictures, my smile is slightly crooked so I'm self-conscious about it”

Huh, we do have something in common. Here’s an interesting thing: the number one criticism I get in the forums of my profile is that I smile without teeth for the same reason – supposedly that is destroying me far more than my height (ask Coma). So you’re not only smiling without teeth but not even smiling at all for the most part – yet you are successful at OLD? How can that be?

Hemingway: “Hawking, listen to Coma White, he's right....... I would have jokingly said, ‘But a lady is not supposed to tell’, or, ‘I'm actually a 4' pygmy’.”

Well, ladies in this thread, would that have worked with you? Do you think it would have worked with this woman? Would the woman who asked me “How tall are you?” out of nowhere and then disappeared when she got the answer have decided “Oh, he’s making a joke about being a short guy – up to this point, I have always refused to date guys a half foot shorter than me but by God that pygmy joke, that sure changed my mind! Can’t wait to meet him!”? Who here believes that’s a likely scenario?

Hemingway: “Don't let them weed you out before the date. Just set up a date and try not to talk much until then.”

How the heck am I supposed to get a woman to want to date me unless I talk to her? Are you seriously in some sort of magical fairyland where a guy can just send a woman a single message “You and me – next Friday night at 8! Dress is casual” and that works? The director of my movie is considered a “stud” by most men (and women) and even he has to talk to a woman for some time before she wants to date him. Your advice here is completely counter to what almost every woman in these forums has ever said – nearly all of them place the most importance on a man’s personality and will not just go out with him for his looks, and you have to talk to a woman, usually a lot, for her to get to know your personality. ESPECIALLY if you’re a guy with physical disadvantages. And how many women here have said how important it is to weed out guys before meeting so their time isn’t wasted?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 95
Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 8:26:03 AM

...............weed out guys before meeting so their time isn’t wasted?


LOL I became a fast "weeder". The trick is to know the difference between what a "weed" looks like and what the "good flower", looks like. AND depending on the location, I might choose to leave a wild flower right where it grows. What may be a "weed" to let's say a city dweller, is not seen as a weed to the country folks.

By trial and error, I became better at "weeding".

Don't misunderstand me Hawking. I like you. Your insistence that "height" is to blame for your failure to launch? Not so much.
As LiliMarleen wrote in a different thread a few days ago. "Wherever you go, there you are".
Plenty of short men have dated, married, had sex and gone on with their lives.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 96
Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 9:50:24 AM
I was cleaning out my email box and there was a blurb from David Wygant, about how appearances don't matter, its all about the emotional connection. And I thought, why then is Fabio on the front cover of romance novels? Why pay millions to have Kevin Cosner or Jude Law in a Rom Com? If the idiot girl in 50 Shades of Grey was seduced by the guy working at the grocery store who flunked out of community college but makes a great emotional connection, it might have made sense, but who would have read it? in the same way guys may fantacize about Angela Jolie bumping into them and getting to know them and then declaring, "you're so much more interesting than Brad", i'm sure there are women who want to win over the guy who could get other women...and there's a body image and a "success image" that goes with that. Did Carrie Bradshaw ever date the paisan running the neighborhood pizzeria, or did she go after the Mr. Bigs?

on the flip side, when we want a relationship and we look around us and there aren't a whole lot of singles who are that "fantasy win"...we search for someone who offers something else, something more real. a hottie who feels insecure, we want to boost them up. an above-average looking person who feels they don't have a chance with us, might convince us thru their behavior that...they know something we don't. maybe we oughta pay attention to that.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 97
Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 10:16:02 AM
Tall women have lots of problems as well. All women want a much taller guy. A tall guy can date any one shorter then him. If the woman is 5,10 or above she has to fight for that 6.01 guy and up with all the short woman While she wont date a guy who is 5,9 a six footer can and does date a woman who is 5 ft tall.
Short guys can always date Asian women who are mostly much shorter.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 98
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Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 10:39:14 AM

I have over 20,000 lifetime rejections, including a number last week. Just exactly how do you view that as me stopping myself or “giving up”? That said, I have no interest in the scary women that are in my Meet Mes and don’t ask them or similar women out – you can be extremely successful despite being a largely undesired human being if you’re willing to date other undesired human beings. I did that enough in my early 20s, thanks. Yet, I find the vast majority of women attractive, so it’s not like I’m being really picky. But just about the only women that ever contact me on non-Tinder-type OLD sites are bottom 1%-ers.


Women can sense a needy or insecure guy a mile away. You have to communicate that you're not outcome dependent when you interact with her. Sending the vibe that the number is your goal and her saying yes or no has influence over your emotions isn't an attractive quality.


Well, ladies in this thread, would that have worked with you? Do you think it would have worked with this woman? Would the woman who asked me “How tall are you?” out of nowhere and then disappeared when she got the answer have decided “Oh, he’s making a joke about being a short guy – up to this point, I have always refused to date guys a half foot shorter than me but by God that pygmy joke, that sure changed my mind! Can’t wait to meet him!”? Who here believes that’s a likely scenario?


Women will tease you and ask you questions to see if you're secure with yourself before they make an investment in you. We're advising you to take the opportunities they're throwing at you to display some form of confidence instead of insecurity. It's obvious why you're getting rejections by your general lack of awareness in these areas. You even get defensive instead of appreciating people taking the time to give you feedback tailor made for your situation.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 99
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Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 11:13:34 AM

2 hours pass and it’s an hour to our date and I still hadn’t received a response from her. So I sent her another text: “Are we still meeting tonight?”

I got an immediate response: “Who is this?!”

The only explanation for that would be that she deleted my contact information. So I texted her my name, ading “the guy you were going to meet at 7 tonight at your favorite restaurant Carrabbas.”


My take on that, she is being sarcastic and saying you aren't the guy she thought you were.


Dragon: “I wouldn't be happy with using Tinder without putting my height in. I get it that women might get to know me first, but I would rather that be upfront info and not bring it up later.”

SHE didn’t put her height on her profile either. Is it only misleading if a short man does it?


Now you are projecting your own thoughts as something I was posting.

This is not at all misleading, I never said it was.


If she’s 6 feet tall, she’s wasting a lot of men’s time, too, by not putting her height on her profile or bringing it up early in the process – she really has no one to blame but herself for wasting a week talking to someone “undateable” by her standards. I don’t feel too bad about this strategy – I hate to sound like Coma or Blackwood but most didn’t seem to care upon the height revelation (and again, I always told them BEFORE the meeting to give them a chance to back out, because I’m not such a lowlife as to put a tall woman in what she feels is an embarrassing situation).


I don't really care if she wastes her time, but I don't want to waste my own time.

(BTW, you don't know if you did put your height on the tinder profile, maybe you get the same results, and better long term results).

What I don't like is having to being up in any conversation height like it's some sort of disease or handicap I have. So I never ever mention height unless someone brings it up first to me. I will put it in my profile, but that's it, just factual information which may or may not be important.

So if I used Tinder, I would have height in a profile. Maybe, maybe I would experiment with leaving it out to see if in the end I would get more successful relationships. (not first dates, but something a little more tangible than just meeting up.) I don't mind experimenting, but my inclination would be to put it in the profile.


I have over 20,000 lifetime rejections, including a number last week. Just exactly how do you view that as me stopping myself or “giving up”?


I don't like rejection, I think it's bad for your morale. The biggest reason I avoided POF was that it seemed superficial and more like a bar. But after reading the forums, if I had it to do over, I would give it a shot, the competitions is a lot more poor than I thought. However, more than 100 or so MSGs with no replies I would be out of here.


Although a better lesson, perhaps, would have been for her to tear me a new one instead of just vanishing (but then she wouldn’t have gotten the joy of standing me up – although she could have stood me up, THEN torn me a new one, which would have gotten her both!).


My opinion is she stopped responding and didn't MSG you to break the date was because she hated to sound so superficial to herself. Most people don't like to put into words how superficial they can be.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 100
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Importance of getting heigh?
Posted: 4/25/2016 11:29:06 AM

LAgoodguy
Tall women have lots of problems as well. All women want a much taller guy. A tall guy can date any one shorter then him. If the woman is 5,10 or above she has to fight for that 6.01 guy and up with all the short woman While she wont date a guy who is 5,9 a six footer can and does date a woman who is 5 ft tall.
Short guys can always date Asian women who are mostly much shorter.

I have said all of this before, but most of what gets said here is repetitious, so what the hell…

Not being short, I never thought much about the subject until I started reading about it here in these forums. From what I’ve read here, it would seem that my life must be a virtual heaven on earth, being over 6 feet tall. Which, of course, isn’t true.

After encountering all of this here on the forums, I had the same thoughts as expressed by LAGoodGuy (see quote, above). So I had the brilliant idea of sending a bunch of initial messages to women over 5’10”. Basically, I did a search for all women within 25 miles who were over 5”10”, and sent initial messages saying something about how I was tall enough to dance with them.

It turns out that most of the women who had their height listed as 5’11” and taller weren’t really that tall, and never intended to say that they were. They thought they were specifying the height of the men whom they wished to date. Yes, that is actually a feature over on Match, or at least it used to be. In addition to specifying an age rate for potential dates, you can also specify a height range.

Oh, well, just another epic fail among many other epic fails. But the underlying point is, no matter how many times you fail, pick yourself up and keep trying.
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