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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1151
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^LOL...look at that, someone took the thread back to where it's supposed to be. And...*crickets*

I thought you were razzing my baby cricket collection there for a sec. ;) Yes, on the original topic -- girls are into looks, height being one of them. It's not just feeling protected, as size isn't just vertical, it's also very much their build, if that's the case. Although it does make it up for gals who are picky about height to some degree, in the end, height is a Physical thing that carries A Lot of weight, which conflicts with many gals who also say looks don't matter that much to them (they don't count height or style as looks, even though both very much are; kind of like paying for a date & tradition -- pick n choose what to count as kosher).

I'm sure the guy isn't talking about ignoring everyone else in the group and blatantly hitting on one person. Just making the person he likes the main focus of his attention. I see nothing wring with that, as long as he's not being rude to the others.

Sure, but what is 'rude'? If a guy goes up to a group of 3 and only talks and locks into the one that drew him there, I wouldn't call that rude. I would say maybe not good 'game', because the quickest way to a gal's comfort zone when out with gal-pals is to establish friendliness and a little banter with her friends. Which is what brings things to Only focusing on that. The guy has no social obligation to engage with everyone. Him acting non-interested isn't socially rude, although he could crank it up in that direction. He's giving off the vibe, when you read people -- that no, Bobby doesn't seem to like you Veronica, despite all boys pawing at you all the time, hence you being a little uptight in public when wearing that stunning dress. This hot Veronica gal is obviously going to err on the assumption, and be quite accurate at it, that by default, if a guy's coming up to she and her friends, he Does find her quite attractive and would certainly love to engage in flirty banter and honing in on her if she was up for it, if not started by him when she has no ixnay sign glowing. Hence, Bobby's tactic has to be very solidified and kinda strong to make sure he's Not classified as yet-another-guy toward Veronica. To make it very apparent that he's treating her the same way a typical guy would feel about sub-par Sally. But how do you do that by just mingling with folks? By NOT throwing yourself at someone? That doesn't work. Doesn't send the vibe that you're not about her. So you focus in on her friends -- where usually there'll be at least one decently cute one anyway. You treat Veronica like she's talking to someone else, is all. You don't owe her or any individual there eye contact & attention.

The potential Rude part would play into responding to Veronica or her friends in relation to/with her. Razzing a bit isn't rude if done right -- but can set the tone that this is Not what guys who are chasing her do. All in all, if Veronica underneath has a low self-esteem, she'll feel a bit that way because although she hates guys (sigh) pawing at her all the time, she's wearing her getup for a reason as she wants to feel attracted & wanted. So she's going to want validation from Bobby. OR if she doesn't have low self esteem, she'll feel a sigh of relief that it's seemingly Clear this guy is Not chasing her. Guard down. Everyone's happy then. *OR* of course, she thinks he's not interested and is rooting for one (or more) of her friends, and steps away and mingles with a hot guy elsewhere - lol.

In a nutshell, no you're not being Rude to anyone. You're role-playing as the person who's not interested when there's an over-active/too-sensitive assumption that every guy wants to get their pants, stat.

The last guy I was really into was mingling with the group initially, but did not ignore me and very soon made it clear he was interested in me.

I'm not saying it's a strategy for every gal. You're not the gal who goes to the bar, where every guy is wanting you, and your friends can sometimes be at least a little jealous of that, as the guys want you, not them (or they feel the guys are settling for them). That's the Veronica type. That's where you "undo" the assumption to give it a breath of fresh air. And hey, if Veronica's taken or not rolling with it -- great. Many times one of her friends is pretty darn cute, and who knows, even a great match. All Susan (and everyone else) saw was you seemingly making it apparent that you weren't into nor chasing Veronica. (shrug)

So, if I would actually rather the guy pay, you and others seem to think it’s better if I don’t offer, but instead just sit there and wait for him to pay.

No, not necessarily. Don't give fake offers. That's what I'm saying. Call a spade a spade. There's little things we grow up on -- whether it's told by parents, older siblings/cousins, or friends -- that we think is good & kosher, but later in life as young adults we realize isn't. We may still roll with it because that's how we roll, or say "Yeah, I'm stepping away from this notion for the most part." Part of growing up. This is one of them. :)

Don't offer to pay when you don't owe him it + you're going to look down on him in Any way if he accepts your offer. So if you believe the date was Equal to asking to Take you out, you don't owe him anything. Don't make a fake offer where there's a chance he could accept and then you would look down on him to one degree or another.

Would that be considered more polite?

It's a Lack of being Impolite, that's what you need to understand. It's a Fake offer. You can get away with it much of the time, because much of the time he'll say no-i-got-it. Doesn't mean it's cool to do. I equate it to an old roommate of mine who got a girl's # and took her out on a date. She invites him over. They kiss on her couch. She then says "You know, you can (juicy smile) stay here tonight.... or you could leave I guess (shrug) since it's kinda late, if that's what you want. What do you think?" He pauses. It's just the 1st date, doesn't want to come on strong, doesn't want to come off weak. So he says "Well, it is late, I could go... but we're enjoying our time together, I could stay tonight." She then smiles, gets up, and shows him the door. "Thanks, but I don't want a guy who wants to spend the night with a girl on the first date. See ya."

It's acting like you want one thing, hoping he won't bite on it. Even though your intentions aren't to "test" him so much -- and it's not to the extreme in that story -- the concept's still the same. You're giving him a fake offer, hoping he won't bite. You're instead doing it for your own benefit to feel polite, but it Loses that politeness when it's a negative if he accepts.

Some girls Want to contribute Something. They'll offer to chip in. Guys know some girls are like this. Sometimes, yeah, he didn't ask to Take her out, and it'd be good for her to do so. Maybe if anything she kinda initiated it on the 1st date, or it's a 2nd or 3rd date. Either way, why all this game playing? Only offer if that's what you want to do *OR* if you Are situationally obliged to do so. Otherwise, no games. And yes, grandma can advocate Unnecessary game-playing. And not all grandparents do; they're not all the same. So it doesn't mean it's Right. :)

BTW, when I do offer, I usually just say, “can I chip in?” I never offer to get the whole bill or anything like that.

That's better, but it it's acting like you Want to. Like I said, some girls DO. So don't do it unless you Want to *OR* you Are obligated to do so. Either way, if he accepts the chip-in, you shouldn't have any negative thoughts about it.

Like I said, I’ve had 2 guys ask to go dutch (and that was before I said anything), and I’ve never had one ask me to get the tip or anything like that. But yeah, I’d be ok with it if they did.

I've had girls ask me to go dutch on a 1st date because it's "just a meeting", they didn't want pressure, so it'd symbolize the non-chalant intro to things. I was fine with it. Even when the bill came, they were still like that after us hitting it off. Although one gal was like that because she didn't want to date me, as she was my friend's older sister. But when the bill came, and this wasn't a date, after we had a couple drinks -- she motioned for me to pay (which I did, then it opened things to cross platonic lines and lots of drama when we ended up seeing each other behind closed doors - lol).

Anyway, back to the topic though -- if you would be 100% Fine getting the tip, or covering tip and then-some to make the contribution a round number (like $10 on a $35-turned-$42-post-tip tab), then that's great, you're doing nothing wrong. :) If you say chip in and would like to chip in -- whether him accepting something or denying it isn't going to have any affect at all -- Then Great. :)

I really only insist on paying for the whole second date if I’m not that into the guy.

Yeah, if he paid the whole 1st, yep. You'd want to do it as equal as the one before. However, if on a date where nobody asked the other out really (see previous examples of mine) -- my thing is that one shouldn't pretend there's Always a "Person asked to Take Person Out" rule (another bad grandparent ism). Hence, when nobody really did -- and you're not into the guy on the 1st date (oh, those beer goggles; how did I NOT see he was this unattractive?) -- you should opt to split it. And force at least some contribution if he strongly insists no on splitting it.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 1152
Importance of height
Posted: 8/27/2016 6:54:28 PM
I'll tell ya what. You guys arrange to discuss this in person, and I'll pay for both coffees :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 1153
Importance of height
Posted: 8/27/2016 7:12:47 PM
I think one of them might be too short :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 1154
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Importance of height
Posted: 8/27/2016 10:27:45 PM
Coffee would probably amp them up so much resulting in them talking each other to death.
 Quasimodo4U
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 1155
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 9/27/2016 7:19:18 PM
Here is a way to find out if height matters to her:
Ask her out. If she accepts then height is not a problem.
 InnerGorilla2
Joined: 8/1/2016
Msg: 1156
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 9/27/2016 8:25:46 PM
Why are people reviving this stupid, meandering, repetitive thread. Blah.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1157
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 9/29/2016 1:05:57 PM

Coffee would probably amp them up so much resulting in them talking each other to death.

Yeah, there is that. Especially since I don't drink coffee (too much caffeine in one dose). :)

Here is a way to find out if height matters to her:
Ask her out. If she accepts then height is not a problem.

That's not a good way to know if it matters to her or not. It's not the only way to rule in / rule out a gal. Plus, some gals out of "need to get my feet wet" motivation, will accept a date with a guy they're not that into, so it requires more than just accepting a date (could cancel, not be interested during it, having fake interest, etc). But yes, it brings ya down the right track IF she accepts it and follows thru. Of course, she could deny you for other reasons too.

What you said reminds me of an episode of It's Always Sunny: "Dude, just ask her if she wants to have sex with you. It's either Yes, or No. You got a 50 / 50 Chance!"

Why are people reviving this stupid, meandering, repetitive thread. Blah.

Well, to be fair, it has two topics... height (and other body-construct taste issues I guess) ... and of course, the classical Who Pays - lol. Two of the most exciting topics. ;)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1158
Importance of this thread
Posted: 9/30/2016 7:48:27 AM
True, if the guy isn't a total creep, who wouldn't accept an offer of free dinner. Beats watching re-runs of Big Bang Theory. So, make it a "hang out" date, where the biggest thing offered is....your personality. If someone can stand it...they must like it. And as we all know, according to the PUA report, personality is what gets ya laid, not looks :)
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 1159
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 9/30/2016 1:01:59 PM

Why are people reviving this stupid, meandering, repetitive thread.


Something to do while waiting for Nataly's next post?
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 1160
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 9/30/2016 2:22:28 PM
LMAO, Oh THAT ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ was bad!
I don't know. I get a kick outta watchin' things melt.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 1161
Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/1/2016 10:12:41 AM

Why are people reviving this stupid, meandering, repetitive thread. Blah.


When someone starts a new thread, people will complain and say "do a thread search". While redundant threads are against the rules, it's a highly subjective one. What makes a topic redundant? 2 or more threads in the same day, week, month etc? When I don't like a certain topic, I would simply ignore those threads.
 justdeb111a
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 1162
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Impotance of height?
Posted: 10/1/2016 8:50:29 PM

"If you ain't 6'-0", eff right off."

- Women in online dating


Most fun I evah had was 5'6"--he was from Georgia and had the softest, sweetest southern drawl. (but he dumped me for a taller red head :()

I've seen some hotties that were even shorter than I am. If a guy is fine, and intelligent and most of all, actually witty/funny, don't care about his height in the least.

My big problem is age. I keep trying to find someone my age but, just like 20 years ago, the guys who are a couple decades older hit on me.

Sometimes I am not online for a few days--they could have died by then :P
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 1163
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/19/2016 12:51:37 PM

Of course physical qualities matter a little bit, but not as much as people think. Being insecure about your height, your looks, your hair, your weight, etc, is a way bigger deal than the actual physical qualities.


I think physical qualities matter more than a little bit to men. Men want someone hot or at least pretty. Women are more nurturing, and can often overlook physical flaws if he is a really great guy. However, a lot of women don't want to date someone shorter than them. Most girls I know are ok with the same height or taller.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 1164
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/19/2016 2:15:38 PM

Of course physical qualities matter a little bit, but not as much as people think.

They matter A Lot. But A Lot in a way that most people don't think, when it comes to the term "looks" that brings people's ego-shields up. When it comes to looks, it's almost always realized without any conscious thinking, in a heartbeat. Other things are, well, more complicated. More time is spent discerning attributes about someone and is more flexible (of course, stereotyping/assuming shortens it), combined with the PC mentality about looks & ego-protection against having it being cast upon ourselves -- hence, the illusion that looks don't matter much because other things bring greater conscious concerns.

I think physical qualities matter more than a little bit to men.

And women. :)

Men want someone hot or at least pretty. Women are more nurturing, and can often overlook physical flaws if he is a really great guy.

I think that's a stereotype that falls short. Both want the best looking, but if we're going to generalize... Guys will tend to want the great looking girl-next-door over sassy/silly/slutty/Sally, a Lot more than women would like to believe (ego). The stereotype that guys just want hot arm-candy and women aren't that into looks and just want a caring guy is, well, completely not in line with what unfolds in society. Looks, as I've always said, isn't limited to ripped extra-tall guy & toned busty girl. Said attributes when non-intimidating (strong "out of my league" feeling) bring more than folks know or tend to admit to themselves, but there's a lot more than that in the "whole picture" sense to one's tastes that resonate with them. Looks are used to judge persona, and liking one's persona will help see their looks in a brighter light. We're all very looks oriented.

I think the tendency is with women, moreso with less independent women or women with bad luck with men over many years, which separates them from guys is that key attributes can give more leeway on looks (And other things). But that usually requires knowing them to one degree or another -- not thru meeting a unconnected stranger at the bar or online... although, again, someone with a certain Look can give some impression about their persona which opens one up, or specifically Not (again, Looks does play a role beyond the instant-sexual sense; but is still sexually-oriented, as is anything with attraction on any level).

You are a unique individual, and remember not to base how women are based on merely yourself (same with me)-- but zooming out and looking how everyone is (guy or girl). A 5'5" guy can be told women aren't that into looks and are into nurturing, and it's just random darned luck that a vast majority of gals who are definitely in his league other than the 'height' (looks) issue don't like him in-that-way. :)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1165
Importance of height?
Posted: 10/19/2016 5:58:21 PM
Gosh Jane, I thought you didn't like this post :) but it is a "well" to return to, hoping for an explanation for what's going on in our life at a moment.

http://www.sirc.org/publik/mirror.html

Men seem to focus less upon their own appearance (how many of your male peers tuck in their shirt?) than women. In a patriarchial society, they may be listened to more, judged more on their performance than their looks. Do they need a woman for financial security? Maybe they generally focus on looks b/c that's what a woman offered in the past. Back in the bad old days, what a man needed was healthy children to keep the bloodline going, and a healthy looking woman suggested that was possible.

But, of course, that's speaking generally. And as an older dude, I can tell you things change with age. I've been chasing women longer than you have :), and what a girl in high school wanted in a man, changes when her maturity does. Even as soon as college, she might be looking more for fun than for what other women thought. But except for the application of alcohol, a woman can look at a great guy and see a friend and bond. She can look at a hot guy, and want more. and of course, the ladies of today are looking for things their mothers wouldn't dare to look for. Viva la sexual revolution :)
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/21/2016 2:04:43 AM

Guys will tend to want the great looking girl-next-door over sassy/silly/slutty/Sally


Yes, if she is great looking. But you would still pick the great looking slutty girl over the plain girl next door, right?


Looks...isn't limited to ripped extra-tall guy & toned busty girl.


No, not at all. In fact, I find that men vary widely when it comes to their preferred body type. Some men like thin, athletic women, others prefer curves. However, I've noticed that the women with pretty faces usually get the most attention. When I've been out with friends, even if they are bigger than me and a bit overweight, the ones with prettier faces get way more attention than I do. It seems that while many men are forgiving of some extra weight, or may even prefer it, they seem to be drawn to fairly similar facial features. Big, up-slanted eyes, small noses, and high cheekbones seem to appeal to most if not all men. Women, on the other hand, vary more with both face and body types. I'd have to say that hygiene matters a lot to most women, though.


A 5'5" guy can be told women aren't that into looks and are into nurturing, and it's just random darned luck that a vast majority of gals who are definitely in his league other than the 'height' (looks) issue don't like him in-that-way. :)


True, being short is going to be somewhat a disadvantage as a guy, especially if they are going for taller women, and especially online. However, I think overall women can fall for a guy based on his personality, and become attracted even if she wasn't initially, more often than men. For men, the attraction has to be there pretty much right away or they'll write the woman off.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 1167
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Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 2:17:03 AM

Maybe they generally focus on looks b/c that's what a woman offered in the past. Back in the bad old days, what a man needed was healthy children to keep the bloodline going, and a healthy looking woman suggested that was possible.


Preferring a healthy-looking person seems reasonable, but men have become way more picky than that, to wanting women to wear tons of makeup and shave off all their body hair so they look like teenagers. Those things have nothing to do with health.


And as an older dude, I can tell you things change with age.


Well, they should. But sadly, many middle aged men still seem to be chasing an illusion.


what a girl in high school wanted in a man, changes when her maturity does.


Yes, she wants men, not boys. But not a father-figure, either. Lol
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 1168
Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 6:13:30 AM

I think overall women can fall for a guy based on his personality, and become attracted even if she wasn't initially, more often than men.


That might be true in cases where two people might already know each other through work, school, friend of friend, etc.-situations where you get to know someone's personality beforehand. But when you talk about initial contact with total strangers on dating sites or at a bar or other public places, and you have no clue about their real personality, what's left is physical attraction-or instant chemistry for those who want to downplay the importance of physical attraction. How many women go on a dating site looking for ugly guys, just in case the ugly guy has a wonderful personality? Physical attraction works both ways.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1169
Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 8:40:08 AM
Generally speaking, a bloke might choose Ms. Easy FOR SEX, and Ms. Plain for a relationship. And there are times he might be looking for a relationship, and times he's just looking for some fun.

Women shaving off body hair and putting on makeup tend to be attempting to look...younger than their age, and thus...healthier. A younger "vessel" may appear to handle childbearing more, even if he's not consciously seeking out kids right at this moment. We could still be following our programming to conceive, the reason why we aren't out bothering grandma. And, OK, Jackie Kennedy also brought the idea of youth and vigor to the White House :) But we've given up since on that. We don't want teenagers leading the country. But as far as what attracts us sexually, a woman who has a warm glow to her cheeks, beautiful eyes...it might all be faked by makeup and fake eyelashes, but it still looks to us vibrant, lively, engaging...and healthy. Just like a human being looking down at the ground might indeed be confident in many places, but their unwillingness at this moment to look us in the eyes makes us think....something else about them.

Alas, middle aged men might be chasing...mid life crisis. As we reach the age where we take care of our parents and thus realize our own time is finite and decreasing rapidly (Christmas no longer take 20 months to get here), we wonder if we made the right decisions and frankly....did we live life to the fullest? Our mind tells us there's still time, before we reach for the walker, to have a spring in our step and to conquer the world and spread our seed and make our monuments, both physical and living.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201203/what-do-men-really-want

some high school girls want an older boy, to guide them thru the sea of life. But other high school girls, gosh, you look at the bad boys they are dating and wonder what their definition of "man" really is :) We've all seen women of drinking age pick up an attractive guy in a bar, and then date him, and complain about his personality traits and we wonder "Why is she still with him?" (usually, the answer is, he's satisfying some sort of psychological need).

and, scientifically, we do literally see, process, and comprehend differently, as after teenhood our brains seem to diverge:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/09/120907-men-women-see-differently-science-health-vision-sex/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-mens-brains-are-wired-differently-than-women/

https://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/165/

if you believe that men are generally more logical, women more tuned to emotions, then you might decide men and women have to see relationships in different lights, and thus have different goals to achieve. Perhaps a particular lady thinks a friendship and a sexual relationship both give her emotions to feel, so there isn't as much of a difference, while a guy might approach it clinically and logically and say, "one has an activity the other does not."
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 1170
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Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 10:26:27 AM
LJane wrote:


However, I've noticed that the women with pretty faces usually get the most attention. When I've been out with friends, even if they are bigger than me and a bit overweight, the ones with prettier faces get way more attention than I do.


Not the first one to say this....but LJane....you spend way too much time dwelling on your self-perceived appearance "shortcomings"....in quotes because I don't quite see them on your pictures. Sure, you say you've carefully selected ones that make you look the "best," you don't look as good in your pictures...etc. Of course, everyone does that....but still...adding in that fudge factor...I just don't see the problem. Unless you're photoshop wizard, lol.

What I would surmise is...and this may be a leap....but reading your posts and looking at your art and music....you're the uber-talented, sensitive, brooding artist type....deep and plenty of substance.....in a world that rewards superficiality. Brooding and sensitive is attractive too...but in the bar scene, or even in OLD meetings, you may project shyness and hesitancy which can be a roadblock...even if a man is attracted physically.

Either way, the "bit overweight" women with the "prettier faces" may be projecting fun and a general openness in the bar?...and maybe you're not? Take it from a guy who spent plenty of times in bars....we will be more likely to approach women who appear to project fun and openness. And I was fairly outgoing....this applies even more to shy guys. We don't like to get blown off any more than women do. And they don't always have to be "hotties." As for me, I was much more likely to approach a "7" who looked fun, vs. a "9" who looked unapproachable. Leave those to the PUAs was my attitude.

Just my 2c, and hope you don't take this the wrong way. You seem to have a lot to offer. But some of your posts make me kinda sad....especially from someone who's so young and talented....there's kind of a resignation in your air...

...but then again, if it positively impacts your art/music (Melissa Etheridge's brooding 1st album comes to mind) maybe it's a good thang.........
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 1171
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Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 5:14:36 PM

you say you've carefully selected ones that make you look the "best," you don't look as good in your pictures...etc. Of course, everyone does that....but still...adding in that fudge factor...I just don't see the problem. Unless you're photoshop wizard, lol.


Thanks for saying that. I just met up with a guy a few days ago, and I could tell right away that he wasn’t interested. We had a good chat, but I knew I wasn’t getting a second date, and he later confirmed that. He said he didn’t feel a “connection.” I asked him if he thought I looked like my pictures, and he said no. So maybe the discrepancy is worse than I thought. It’s frustrating, because they are of me, and most of them (all the close-up shots) were taken within the past year. However, I did pose at a certain angle to make my face look thinner, and I used an editing program to erase my double chin. But other than that, they are me. Like I said, I have used more realistic shots in the past, which I didn’t think looked all that different, but I got terrible results with them.


reading your posts and looking at your art and music....you're the uber-talented, sensitive, brooding artist type....deep and plenty of substance.....in a world that rewards superficiality.


That’s a nice thing to say, thank you.


you may project shyness and hesitancy which can be a roadblock...even if a man is attracted physically.



the "bit overweight" women with the "prettier faces" may be projecting fun and a general openness in the bar?...and maybe you're not?


This could be true. Others have suggested that as well. But, those same girls also get more attention online, and get ogled more while walking down the street, so it’s got to be more than just personality. Also, I do get hit on, but most often by men who are either much older, overweight, bad hygiene, etc. while my friends get hit on by guys who are close in age and attractive or average-looking. Again, that may sound superficial, but I’m not looking for Brad Pitt. I’ve had crushes on short, chubby guys who had great personalities. But most of these guys are not in any way appealing to me; I guess, just as I haven’t been appealing to the ones I’m looking at.


there's kind of a resignation in your air...


honestly, I used to have a lot of hope when it came to finding a partner, and I used to think I was fairly attractive as well. However, my experiences with dating have soured me on it and made me feel hideous. I know a sh*tty attitude is even less attractive and can be changed, but it’s getting harder to do that.


...but then again, if it positively impacts your art/music (Melissa Etheridge's brooding 1st album comes to mind) maybe it's a good thang....


Maybe I’d have better luck if I switched teams, too. xD

Anyway, I took this thread off topic again…though I think it disintegrated long ago…
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 1172
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/21/2016 5:28:49 PM
Fullmoonguy


Something to do while waiting for Nataly's next post?


Me too
I am so short everyone is tall but I have to admit I love a man over 6 feet. ;)
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 1173
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Importance of heigh?
Posted: 10/21/2016 5:33:19 PM
Some like blonds, some like bikers, everyone looks for something.
For me being only 5'3" I feel so much taller with a tall guy.
Or kinda like when a mother bird tucks her baby under her wing....thats the feeling I get with a tall guy.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 1174
Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 5:42:07 PM
Sometimes, we project a "Substance" that is agreeable to some, and not others. A short fellow might get a date from one woman looking for "it", and not from her friends b/c they don't want "it". I just posted in another forum about a woman I bump into for some unknown reason every few years, after meeting her two decades ago. if my life was a rom-com (instead of just being a romantic joke, lol), then all this crossing paths in a variety of places would "mean something". Anyhoo, she's stacked, and that can catch the eye, but the big thing is, she's naturally a sensual woman. The response from other men tends to be universal--guys don't wonder what she might be like on a dinner date, or cuddling on a couch, they imagine what she would be like in bed. She just oozes sexual energy. You know that she exercises and lives la vida dolce and just plain engages in life. She can carry an intelligent conversation, but she won't overthink an opportunity, she's going to take it and deal with the cost.

a female friend of mine keeps contacting me for dinner on the weekends. I don't have a whole lot in common with her, but she's "good enough" for that. She's a dinner date, and that's about it (and that's not just me saying that, her bf's been trying to break up with her since they met, when he told her on the first date he understood why she had a problem getting second dates. But she's hot for her age, so....). Over my life, I've met women i'd want to date but not have a long term relationship with, ones i'd love to cuddle with but not have sex with (too skinny for my tastes), ones who were awesome to talk with and show new places to, but wouldn't want to be the bf to deal with their baggage...and some where like the woman I mentioned above. She's like someone handing out free cash, she just seems such an excitement the brain just goes right out the window.

Sometimes, the personality gets in the way, and other times, its the reason we overlook the physical. Other times, a person is just a live wire--we get so electrified, we don't stop to think about any negatives. we're the lab mouse hitting the button for the cocaine. And still other times, a person is right in that middle ground. its not that meatloaf is bad, its just that we might find something else with a bit more of the kick we're looking for at the moment. And as some posts around here ask, there is a chance we might change our minds later, and want to come back and see if there's any meatloaf left in the fridge :)

I know, I know...we hate to think ourselves in terms of leagues or meatloaf, even if meatloaf can put on a strip of bacon and have a little zing to it. sometimes, tho, the person who turns away from us, is in the long run helping us out. B/c someone else out there, really, really loves meatloaf with onion soup mix and ketchup and a strip of bacon on it from time to time.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 1175
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Importance of height?
Posted: 10/21/2016 6:49:54 PM

I did pose at a certain angle to make my face look thinner, and I used an editing program to erase my double chin.

Photo angles is one thing, but when you start editing your photos, I can see this causing a problem..

Is getting a date that goes nowhere, better than not?
I would think getting shot down after meeting would be worse, than not meeting....
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