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 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 76
Dating site or hookups only?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
There have been a few occasions where a gal has told me she could get sex whenever she wanted.

I promptly respond that if that's all I was after, I would pursue a 10 for the price of 3-4 dinners and a tank of gas.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 77
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 8:43:52 AM
Surely neither men nor women want sex? Dating is exactly the same as going out with a group of your same sex friends..talk, maybe drink, eat, a bit, other activities., never the thought of something as "evil" as " sex"..?
Well, only one tiny difference. .the 11th Commandment.."the man must always pay". ;)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 78
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 9:00:27 AM

In this day & age it seems like anything goes ;0)


And the problem with that is....? How dare someone stray from the formal steps in the bible of dating etiquette, and skip from rule 17359 to rule 19436. What a rebel!
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 79
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 9:50:25 AM

And the problem with that is....? How dare someone stray from the formal steps in the bible of dating etiquette, and skip from rule 17359 to rule 19436. What a rebel!


Then why don't you date a man in a kilt if you are THAT open?

And sex on the 1st date is a must, plus you have to go Dutch...

after all, if men & women are the same, one should not have any preference!
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 80
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:21:13 AM
Reductio ad absurdum, de rigeur in POF forums. The " traditionalists", I.e. women who insist men pay for everything they want, seem to resort to it with some degree of frequency.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 81
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:21:21 AM

Then why don't you date a man in a kilt if you are THAT open?


That is getting to be an increasingly viable option.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 82
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 10:34:27 AM

Then why don't you date a man in a kilt if you are THAT open?
And sex on the 1st date is a must, plus you have to go Dutch...
after all, if men & women are the same, one should not have any preference!


There are a few on here that aren't going Dutch and freely and proudly admit they are being bought and paid for. Whatever works I guess or where ever your head is at when it comes to how you manage your life.

And men in kilts are sexy, to me. They may be sexy to some gay men as well. But some women don't think guys in kilts are sexy and straight guys probably don't either. Its just like some like blondes and some like redheads.

And some guys go for sex on the first date because....some women do as well. These first date sex dudes aren't masturbating, they have a willing female partner.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 83
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 12:15:27 PM

after all, if men & women are the same, one should not have any preference!


Whoever said men and women were the same?
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 84
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 12:25:11 PM
She's extrapolating from threads about "who pays?".. apparently if men don't always pay for everything, or women are expected to occasionally open their purse, it must mean that " men and women are exactly the same".
Reductio ad absurbum..to make some kind of "point"..not sure what.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 85
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 12:55:13 PM

She's extrapolating from threads about "who pays?".. apparently if men don't always pay for everything, or women are expected to occasionally open their purse, it must mean that " men and women are exactly the same".
Reductio ad absurbum..to make some kind of "point"..not sure what.


I believe she's also used the primitive hunting and gathering society argument. However, having the man provide for everything is actually not a traditional gender role. In primitive hunting and gathering societies women are the gatherers - that means they at least provide half of the food. How did we go from that to having the man pay for everything?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 86
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 1:21:09 PM
OMG, you mean Dutch treat goes back as far as the caveman/cavewoman days?? Whodathunkit?

I wonder if the anti-Dutch crowd also detest the "it takes a village" crowd. Why share? Why contribute?

Some people only believe in their perceived "traditional" roles when it suits them. The same applies to "in my culture"....when it suits them.
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 87
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 3:16:26 PM
Uni-gender-people (see--- no ladies & gentlemen!)
WHERE DID I SAY THE MAN SHOULD PAY ALL THE TIME? WHERE DID I SAY I WAS EXTRAPOLATING?

SEE HOW IT GOES?

ONCE AGAIN Assuming...
________________________________________
no more producing infants the natural way as it is an in-equality- why should one uni-gender be sick, puffed up like a blowfish for 9 months & go thru pain of pushing an infant out, bonding w/ it, suckling it etc? That would promote inequality!

FROM NOW ON, TEST TUBE CONCEPTIONS & INCUBARIONS ONLY- THAT IS EQUALITY!
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 88
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 3:23:39 PM

no more producing infants the natural way as it is an in-equality- why should one uni-gender be sick, puffed up like a blowfish for 9 months & go thru pain of pushing an infant out, bonding w/ it, suckling it etc? That would promote inequality!


No one forced you to breed. If you don't like being pregnant, either don't have kids, or pay a surrogate to carry them for you.
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 89
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 3:36:00 PM

No one forced you to breed. If you don't like being pregnant, either don't have kids, or pay a surrogate to carry them for you.

You are correct- no uni-gender shall breed! Surrogates only- however, that is another level of inequality, bec. only those who are financially able to will be able to reproduce, making the middle class & lower genetically disadvantaged- unable to afford to reproduce.

When I was in my reproductive years, no choice was offered me, no one posed "equality"--my civil rights were violated IMO & I am going to start a class action suit against the USA & NYS for sexual discrimination!

I want financial restitution for the inequality that was hoisted upon me!
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 90
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 4:43:08 PM

When I was in my reproductive years, no choice was offered me, no one posed "equality"--my civil rights were violated IMO & I am going to start a class action suit against the USA & NYS for sexual discrimination!

I want financial restitution for the inequality that was hoisted upon me!


What the hell are you talking about? No one forced you to breed. You've made out pretty good, kids are grown and I'm sure you had help from the ex and you haven't worked in quite a few years and you found someone new to support you. You should be okay.


VVV.

I've said its a good gig if you can get it. Sometimes it's akin to the world's oldest profession.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 91
view profile
History
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 5:01:47 PM
Cassie2425 said
What the hell are you talking about? No one forced you to breed. You've made out pretty good, kids are grown and I'm sure you had help from the ex and you haven't worked in quite a few years and you found someone new to support you. You should be okay.


Do I detect envy? That's a lovely shade of green you are displaying...lol
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 92
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 5:33:06 PM

What the hell are you talking about? No one forced you to breed. You've made out pretty good, kids are grown and I'm sure you had help from the ex and you haven't worked in quite a few years and you found someone new to support you. You should be okay.


VVV.

I've said its a good gig if you can get it. Sometimes it's akin to the world's oldest profession.

Once again, I was being facetious in some of my last few posts. No, I didn't make out pretty good, I raised 2 sons w/ autism, the younger one was/is also a brittle diabetic. The majority of the time I raised them, it was as a single parent w/ little to no support. My work history & who pays for what is not pertinent to that post, although I am sure you would be surprised at what I've done & brought to the table.

But seriously, many of us older girls, when we were young had certain beliefs foisted on us, then all of a sudden AFTER we had the kids & THE RESPONSIBILITIES ASSOCIATED w/ the children, the game changed. So what were we supposed to do, put the kids out in the street? Or in my case, dump them in a group home? (No judgment to any parent who had to institutionalize their child)

Cassie you were right, smart women marched & worked very hard so we can have rights, well I wonder what value society puts on Motherhood particularly those who gave up way more than the average parent(s) because the child or children has/had special needs? What about their rights? The child/children & the custodial parent?

TY geekgrrrl , but I don't think anyone in their right mind would envy my past, my children's experiences, etc.
And to those who said no one forced you to breed, that is true, but how did you or any of us get here?

Cassie, I wish what you said were true, but I will NEVER be OK. I will go to my grave worrying about my children in a way that only a few can relate to. I realize we ALL have a cross to bear, but just because I smile, laugh, ham it up, wear blue eye shadow & blonde hair doesn't make it any easier than the next person. I just made the choice to grab onto any happiness I could in what ever time I have left.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 93
view profile
History
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 5:46:32 PM
Hair2day_gone2morrow said
TY geekgrrrl , but I don't think anyone in their right mind would envy my past, my children's experiences, etc.
And to those who said no one forced you to breed, that is true, but how did you or any of us get here


You're welcome. My situation is not unlike yours. I chose to be responsible for the children, two of which have mild autism. I won't go into it because this cesspool isn't the place one gets any respect for doing the right thing. Instead we are belittled, told we are self-entitled pieces of A$$ not worthy of a cup of coffee. The fact that women like Cassie burned their bras doesn't mean they made the right choices for me. If I am the least bit selfish I have earned the right to want what I want for me.

And yes she exudes envy along with contempt for women.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 94
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 5:59:33 PM
What's having mild autism got to do with this? I have mild autism, and my parents never taught me that it's a crime to go Dutch or it's always a man's responsibility to pay for a first date. Having autism has affected me in that it is very difficult for me to look at people in the eye during a job interview or maintain a social network needed to find employment. I am not uneducated, I have one than degree, but I had difficulty finding employment because of my autism. My current job doesn't pay much, so I can't afford to wine and dine women.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 95
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 6:09:00 PM
If one wishes immortality, write an excellent book, it will outlast flesh and blood. Should one desire offspring in order to feel loved, its advisable to learn to love oneself, instead. the frosting upon that cake is, loving your true self likely makes you less interested in the outer shell as your identity. Does one's category really identify one...or limit one?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 96
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 6:26:24 PM
You know what, I had two kids too. It's what we did back then...found a guy, got married and had kids...sometimes in that order,msometimes not. So yup, a husband and two kids and kept a home. I worked part time with the first one and the second one until they were in kindergarten. Then I went to college, so I could get a better job. And while I was in college I had a part time job and I helped my husband start a business. No one washed my toilets or did my laundry. We had issues with my oldest son, the one who died, the usual b.s. and had doctors, psychiatrists. So basically we all went through shit, struggled, learned and grew. The only thing you two have had that I didn't was a divorce...but I'll take a divorce over burying s spouse any day. And, I do not regret my decision to have children and I do not regret marrying.

We have all earned the right to be selfish. There is a huge difference between "earned the right to be selfish" and being entitled or "I have a vagina so you pay". IMO. That's how I was raised, go get it yourself, stand up for yourself and contribute as a human being.

As for "exudes contempt for women", sometimes women are their own worst enemy. Some of the tales on here make me puke, some make me laugh, some I shake my head, many I'd love to hug and some I just say "you can't fix stupid". I love my women friends, they are all strong, capable, talented and intelligent and they don't spend their day waiting for a man to pay their way. If you want to do that, fine. I had to get written permission from my husband to get a tubal ligation after two children, written fvcking permission. No woman should have to do that, that is the stuff I fought for and stood up for and stand up for today...I have a granddaughter, it's my duty. I want a partner, a true partner where we share...not I cook and clean the toilet and he pays for everything.

We all have a story, or many stories. Walk your own walk.

And....I, as well as a few more, are truly happy BA found her man. As I said the other day, she and I have agreed, agreed to disagree and had downright slug vests for years on here.....but she knows I'm truly happy for her. On this "topic" she I disagree and always have.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 97
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 7:47:21 PM

Instead we are belittled, told we are self-entitled pieces of A$$ not worthy of a cup of coffee.


Having children with autism has nothing to do with whom should pay for a date. This is just more of the onesided viewpoints that some women have. For them, it's about what a man should do to satisfy a woman, a man should appreciate being with a "quality" woman etc, what a woman's value and worth is etc. These things should work both right ways. When a man is on a date, his time and feelings should be just as important.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 98
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 7:55:40 PM

And to those who said no one forced you to breed, that is true, but how did you or any of us get here?


I don't know about others, but I got here because both of my parents chose to breed. My mother wanted me. She enjoyed being pregnant, and never complained about it. You had a choice, too.


Having children with autism has nothing to do with whom should pay for a date. This is just more of the onesided viewpoints that some women have. For them, it's about what a man should do to satisfy a woman, a man should appreciate being with a "quality" woman etc, what a woman's value and worth is etc. These things should work both right ways. When a man is on a date, his time and feelings should be just as important.


Agreed.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 99
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 9:00:04 PM
How did this thread turn into the tired old who pays thing again?

I don't think anybody here DEMANDS that a man pays for a date. I have never told a date that they MUST pick up the tab, neither have I ever thrown a tantrum if a guy wasn't going to buy me a cup of coffee. That's his right. But it is also MY RIGHT to not be attracted to guys who do not show that trait. Just like I"m not into guys that are not in shape, who do not care about their diet, who are rude, etc. I'm not attracted to men who will not take me out on a date the first few times as we get to know each other. Period. I don't think I"m "entitled" to it, just like I'm not "entitled" to a hot, ripped, stud, but I want one anyways. So if a guy is not taking me out/pays for the date and/or is not getting my juices flowing, I will not see him again. End of story. No harm done. They don't owe me anything, and I don't owe them anything either.
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 100
Dating site or hookups only?
Posted: 4/14/2016 11:44:46 PM
CuteandThick34, people use the site, as many have already said, for different reasons. I call it "online avoiding" not online dating. You have mention some of the reasons why it is avoiding and not dating. Others are addicts pretending they are not: smokers, alcoholics, prescription drugs... FYI: the messed up teeth and smell are a dead giveaway.

Use the site the best way you can. Remember the "block" button next to the emails.

Good luck on your search!
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