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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > His rules he wants me to follow...      Home login  
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 HereComesYourSun
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 73
His rules he wants me to follow...Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Good Nancy.
I'm happy to hear you didn't get all into it with him.

People who are endless victims are hell to be with.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 74
His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 7:04:17 AM
I'm glad that nightmare is over, there's nothing like having someone impose something on you and expecting it to be okay.

Always beware of timing, if it's been too soon after their previous relationship ended, more than likely, you're dealing with someone who is rebounding. Rebound relationships do not usually work out, because your mind was not in the right place when you decided to be with that person, and you likely did it due to comfort and familiarity.

If its been too soon, give them time, if their head is in the right place, then you give them a chance. With this gentleman, he was obviously rebounding as the basis for all his rules were basically to try to fix what he thinks went wrong with his ex wife. It's one thing to have a protocol but another to base your protocol on what went wrong or right in your previous relationships. One has to remember that that relationship didn't work out, so it may be time to change things around, not do a whole 360.

Now that you've gone through this, try to make it a point to learn when their last relationship ended, so that you know how to approach the situation.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 75
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His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 10:10:41 AM

If him asking you..."What do you wanna do tonight" is annoying you...just tell him," you can figure out something for us to do, or you can come over and help me clean house" he will get the point...quick !!!


I like this answer and probably would have stuck to it until I had all my spring yard work done and my storm windows replaced.

Him: What do you want to do tonight Carol Ann?
Me: I want you to come over seal my driveway and rototill the flower beds. Then you can take me out to dinner.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 76
His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 11:33:42 AM

Me: I want you to come over seal my driveway and rototill the flower beds. Then you can take me out to dinner.


Without first pressure washing the driveway!!! That would break ALL my rules. That would be the end of it. Zip. Done.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 77
His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 11:36:16 AM
^^^^^

pun intended?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 78
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History
His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 11:36:24 AM


Me: I want you to come over seal my driveway and rototill the flower beds. Then you can take me out to dinner.



Without first pressure washing the driveway!!! That would break ALL my rules. That would be the end of it. Zip. Done.


Now, now. Compromise is always possible. You could do the pressure washing, and then let her do the sealing. After all, pressure washing is kind of fun, and sealing is nasty, hard work.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 79
His rules he wants me to follow...
Posted: 4/11/2016 4:27:14 PM

It has to do with your emotions

Humans are drawn to one another for countless reasons, and the fact that we’re often drawn to people who seem to “get us” emotionally is now borne out by a new study published in the journal PNAS: We are attracted to people whose emotions we can easily understand—and that may be due in part to matching neural circuitry.


So, the wives, girlfriends, and mistresses of murderous tyrants and dictators like Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Saddam Hussein, etc., easily understood the emotions of those guys as they ordered the deaths of thousands or millions of fellow humans?

And let's not forget all the abusive relationships.


“Being able to comprehend another person’s intentions and emotions is essential for successful social interaction,” says study author Silke Anders, a professor of Social and Affective Neuroscience at the University of Lübeck.


“To accomplish a common goal, partners must understand and continuously update information about their partner’s current intentions and motivation, anticipate the other’s behavior, and adapt their own behavior accordingly.”


Adapting behavior accordingly.
Like walking on eggshells with a volatile or abusive partner?

I would love to have a discussion with this "professor."
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