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 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 276
People who have been single most of their lives.Page 12 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
Seriously....IG, you can not seriously think...with coaching or telling Hawkings how he should act..he will ever get the same results you did.??
If you did a random test...the results would vary, even if you had the same profile context.
Even with using everything the same accept pictures and contacted the same women....his results wouldn't be the same.

It's all about instant attraction to start with.....which is individual.
Yes...a man who can write a decent profile and sound confident....may get attention but some women may read it as too "cocky".....
Just too many variables involved...imo.

Some people assume because they have had success and met someone...what worked for them, should work for others ...NOT.
It's easy to say...well, you need to " think this way" and then bada bing......women will fall at your feet.
Just not going to happen.
I don't have any answers...other than to be open for it....sometimes we miss opportunities because of shyness or we are not the type to jump in with both feet without thinking.....others can and do.
I for one...can't change that about myself....just not my inner being.

@Dragonbytes......lol....like I said.!!
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 277
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:57:31 AM
If the number of self proclaimed geniuses (genii?) Equalled the actual number, the USA would likely have at least 100 million of the critters..but, whatever. People who score high on online "IQ tests"..anyway "genius" is no guarantee of a good or noble life, or having any other redeeming qualities..more often than not seems to result in obnoxious, arrogant personality disorder. Though of course plenty of "dummies" have that too. Donald Trump I'm sure is an elite genius, at least in his own mind if not by objective standards.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 278
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:58:37 AM

Hawkings let's Inner G take over his profile by giving him his password, and IG can contact women for him.

Hawkings has nothing to lose, he strikes out 99.9% of the time.

IG is a writer, has the time and believes it's mostly about approach and attitude.


This could be a good business opportunity for Inner G. He could charge guys to write their profiles for them, do the searching and responding to messages. All the guy would have to do is suggest a place and time for a first meet and show up. After all, I'm sure there are people who have been out of the dating scene for a while, who get help from friends or family to write their profile and respond to messages. Inner G would just be the middle man.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 279
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:01:23 AM

We will all learn something from the experiment, and I recall another poster advertising a paid site that did just that, so maybe it will work, I honestly have no idea.


I would love the idea. Caveat. Before doing such exercise we would re-write his profile and ad a couple of more photos.


Seriously....IG, you can not seriously think...with coaching or telling Hawkings how he should act..he will ever get the same results you did.??


I don't think we can get the same results that I got. But we could improve in his results by at least 100 percent.

I personally believe that anything is coachable, but there are a few caveats. One, eventually you have to believe in it, otherwise it would never work. Second, realize that the only success happens through a lot of failure. It's exactly the same way in sales. But finally, he would have to take reign of the dialogue and close the sale. Meaning the date.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 280
intelligence in an age of looking up any trivia on your phone
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:31:32 AM
1)in the Third World, educating women helps out family-wise in the long run. In a tight job market, however, women who are equal in abilities, are competition. sometimes when a poster raises an old argument, I too wince, but sometimes a good point ends up getting made.

2)meanwhile, I just got off the phone with a female friend who's daughter is still wrestling with kicking out her bf who makes big money but won't buy a ring after 7 years of living together. Apparently, he has a temper like his bi polar father, throwing cellphones into the wall, making cutting remarks, etc. The daughter says if he ever raises a hand to her, she's out of there. Hmm, gee, when will that happen? never? seven years from now when she's pregnant and used to living off his paycheck? My friend and the biological father of the daughter had a horrible divorce, she kicking in his car fenders and cutting up his $700 suits. The daughter says she's going by some "80% rule", that if you can stand 80% of what your partner does, they are a keeper. Me, I go by the respect--give me respect, and I won't have to worry about how you treat me, just that we have interests in common. so yeah, sometimes we repeat what we saw growing up. some people only define "respect" by how their parents acted.

3)intelligence can get in the way of finding a potential partner, and not just b/c there's different definitions of intelligence. Someone can be a walking CD ROM of knowledge, and lack common sense to live within their means. Another one might be hyper aware of their surroundings, yet not know how to apply that knowledge to relating to people in a calm, relaxing, compassionate way. and of course, an intelligent person can be crippled with insecurity. The further away from average a person is, the further away they are from creating a common feeling of comfort with average people, who make up the majority. a woman who wants a bf who helps her relax and makes her feel comfortable, won't feel that around Sheldon Cooper.

4)there are things a guy does, that shoots down any chances he has. we've seen posts here, for example, a woman goes on a date, likes the guy, but geez, he can't stop talking about his ex. Or maybe he needs to brush his teeth. on the flip side, dressing like George Clooney doesn't make you look like him. Smiling like Ryan Reynolds (sic) isn't enough to make women weak in the knees, like that car commercial. You have the physical looks she wants, or you're just her friend. I've read relationship books since before the PUA rage hit the internet, watched romantic movies, copied the moves....and they only worked on women who were already interested. no one ever changed their mind by how I acted or how manly I walked or whatever.

not to say one shouldn't try. its better to put one's best foot forward. Star Wars may have invented the term, "Jedi Mind Trick", but its funny how many weak-minded people out there can be buffalo'd into thinking someone is smart b/c they have a college degree. Or the times I've walked into an area I didn't belong, but carried myself like I did so no one bothered to challenge me. There's a reason "bullshitting" is called an art. the catch is, of course, do we really want a woman who can fall easily for our presentation? we likely want her to see the real us, and be swept off her feet by the real us, not a swagger and a c0cky pickup line.

at best, making a friend out of a beautiful woman might convince her to introduce you to her friend, your future soul mate.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 281
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:41:22 AM

This could be a good business opportunity for Inner G. He could charge guys to write their profiles for them, do the searching and responding to messages. All the guy would have to do is suggest a place and time for a first meet and show up. After all, I'm sure there are people who have been out of the dating scene for a while, who get help from friends or family to write their profile and respond to messages. Inner G would just be the middle man.


If IG had to rely on this for a living then he' d be breaking into houses in no time. He knows his stuff. Coma White also comes to mind. Problem is that nobody believes them. If they did then there wouldn't be any Hawkings. That's the main reason I am so fatalistic about this. Everybody wants but they either don't believe or won't do the work. They are like fishermen who insist that if they go to the lake and if they are nice enough, respectful enough and have enough money that fish will jump out of the water and into their kreel. IG can tell them that they need to put a hook on a line and bait on the hook until he is blue in the face. These guys will still argue with him and still complain that they can't catch anything. Some guys are just plain hopeless.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 282
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:06:55 AM

They are like fishermen who insist that if they go to the lake and if they are nice enough, respectful enough and have enough money that fish will jump out of the water and into their kreel.


Ebolakitty, that's an awesome analogy.

In the end the problem is mindset. I am actually reading a book called that way and it explains the whole issue. When you have a SET mindset, you find a particular worth to your persona and then live or die by that standard, thus you NEVER change. When you have a GROWTH mindset, you realize that you don't know didley squat and that life is a work in progress and you move and adapt and take advantages of opportunities as they present themselves. A failure is nothing more than the opportunity to grow. If you have a set mind, failure is the end and you start to create your own walls and justifications to why you're inside your own cell.

And in the argument about intelligent people, the problem is not that they are intelligent, the problem is when they define everything by that intelligence. Take for instance two very intelligent people, my Dad and epidemiologist of world renown and my uncle an Neuro Anesthesiologist. Both are so smart the can squeeze a turnip with their thoughts. But my dad was very closed minded and dictatorial. He alienated a lot of people and at one point after having the best job in the world at CDC he would have moved to the UN, but nobody wanted to deal with his ego. He retired instead. My uncle, when he came to this country, already the head of hospitals in South America, spend 5 years doing free stuff at Emory Hospital, being treated like the help, as he studied and studied and passed the medical exam and his certification exams. He knew that nobody in a big Metro city would hire him because those are Patrician jobs for the best of families, so he went to a little hospital at the edge of a swam and carved himself a career down there. He was always humble. He was open minded. People loved him.

The problem with helping guys to connect is that THEY have to do the learning. The learning curve is internal. When you do extremely bold things, you have to realize that they may fail, but also that they may have a chance. And then you have to read the situation and know when do what.

The other day I read this 10 things that kills negotiations. And they showed you what you needed to do right. You may say, wait, that is not being yourself. You should not have that advantage. Yet it's stuff like that that makes a difference. And those very same things apply to dating.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 283
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History
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:45:20 AM
“How do they disqualify you?

How many times I have seen a woman's profile that says no facial hair and I still approached them?”

I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed this before, but facial hair is something easily changeable at a whim, especially shaving it off. That definitely goes under “preference” rather than “deal breaker” for most women – the ones responding to you were probably thinking “If we date long enough, I can probably get him to shave it off,” because you know how women are always trying to change us.

I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve ever seen a woman say “No facial hair” in their profiles (although much more frequently I see “I love beards!”). On the other hand, I see “No black guys” and “Must be at least 6 feet tall” or “taller than me” several times a day. And let me tell you: those things aren’t changeable, and they’re almost always “deal breakers,” not preferences. Seriously, man, why would I even want to write a woman that says “No black guys,” regardless of whether I thought I could “change her mind”? There are hundreds whose profiles say “Just ask” and nothing else that I could be writing instead. Most women on here have stated they get really annoyed when men ignore what they've written in their profiles, so how do you explain your brilliant strategy completely conflicting with that information?

“Seriously....IG, you can not seriously think...with coaching or telling Hawkings how he should act..he will ever get the same results you did.??... It's all about instant attraction to start with.....which is individual. ”

Yeah, this.

Look, IG et al: if it’s really all about attitude and physical attraction doesn’t come into play, just how many people have you gone out with that you found physically repulsive because they had a great personality? In the big scheme of humanity, that makes absolutely no sense, and I do mean common sense, not genius sense. If coupling were all about personality, the vast majority of men and women would be gay, because most men’s personalities mesh better with other men’s and most women’s personalities mesh better with other women’s. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION IS THE NUMBER ONE DETERMINANT OF WHY PEOPLE COUPLE, and if you think that’s B.S., tell me your significant other is ugly.

GTO: What he said in #4.

Dragonbytes: Yeah, as I’ve said before, I’m not doing that. Next thing you know, my profile gets deleted after 9 years without issues and I’ll be like Blonde or Marilyn and having to constantly reboot my profile, claiming I’m me and nobody believing it. However, I’d be curious as to what IG could accomplish with his own profile if he changed his height to 5’4”. I will give him every advantage he currently has except that one and see what happens to his fortunes. (I know what happens when I change my height to his height without changing anything else about my profile: the exact opposite of my current POF existence.)

“As for the genius IQ, I don't know why it is such an issue.”

I didn’t really mean for that to be part of this debate – I just didn’t think anyone would believe me if I claimed I was making profound observations in preschool if I didn’t qualify it. I don’t think my intelligence had anything directly to do with my datelessness. In fact, a few women I’ve dated including my ex-girlfriend said my intelligence was one of the things that attracted them to me. That said... there’s a pretty good argument that at my high school in backwater Alabama, stupidity was valued more than intelligence by most kids there, but I certainly didn’t go into college thinking the way to attract the kind of women I wanted was to act stupid.

“People who score high on online ‘IQ tests’..anyway ‘genius’ is no guarantee of a good or noble life, or having any other redeeming qualities..more often than not seems to result in obnoxious, arrogant personality disorder.”

That sounds almost like a quote from “Algernon.” Pretty accurate, too.

“He could charge guys to write their profiles for them”

How could anyone make a living off doing this when we have a forum dedicated to doing this for free? There is only one person in all of POF-land that has ever claimed my current profile is terrible: Coma. Most have said it’s pretty good and far better than most other men’s. Several of my female friends approved it. There is almost no doubt the profile is not the issue. What IG is claiming is that the introductory message can turn physical repulsion into physical attraction. One problem with that concept that I have not addressed in this thread is that most of my emails get “deleted/unread.” So I’m not really sure what kind of magic he think he has to overcome that result – if women aren’t even reading the messages, then does it matter what’s in it? And why aren’t they reading the messages? There is only one possibility: they see what I look like and don’t care what I wrote.

Ebolakitty: Says the 6’5” white guy. I’m sure all your dating success was entirely because you “believed” and “did the work.” You want a fishing analogy? You’re like the guy who has a gigantic fishnet and believes the guy with a single fishing pole isn’t catching as many fish as you because he isn’t trying hard enough.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 284
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 11:14:28 AM

Ebolakitty: Says the 6’5” white guy. I’m sure all your dating success was entirely because you “believed” and “did the work.” You want a fishing analogy? You’re like the guy who has a gigantic fishnet and believes the guy with a single fishing pole isn’t catching as many fish as you because he isn’t trying hard enough.


Man, you really are beyond redemption. Fact is that whatever success that I may have with women was because I was tall AND I learned what to do with that advantage. I could dunk a basketball but I never played in the NBA because I didn't do the gruelling work that comes with it Of course that has nothing to do with you. You never run out of excuses.


There is only one person in all of POF-land that has ever claimed my current profile is terrible: Coma. Most have said it’s pretty good and far better than most other men’s. Several of my female friends approved it. There is almost no doubt the profile is not the issue. What IG is claiming is that the introductory message can turn physical repulsion into physical attraction. One problem with that concept that I have not addressed in this thread is that most of my emails get “deleted/unread.” So I’m not really sure what kind of magic he think he has to overcome that result – if women aren’t even reading the messages, then does it matter what’s in it? And why aren’t they reading the messages? There is only one possibility: they see what I look like and don’t care what I wrote.


I'll be the second one to say that your profile stinks. Here you are complaining about what Coma and IG say... maybe the two best sources of solid advice on this site... two things that could really bear fruit and you still prefer to complain rather than learn.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 285
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 11:21:36 AM
Someone was talking about online IQ tests. They are worthless. I was referring to my kids getting tested an entire week in school with trained staff, taking many different tests. The IQ bell curve does show that in the lower spectrum ( such as mentally disabled) the curve is low, then peaks in the mid range, where most people test , then drops again when the IQ is very high. Most people fall in the middle of the curve.

But I do agree that even with a high IQ, some people don't necessarily make good choices in their relationships or in their careers. It is a balancing act, so to speak. But I will qualify and say " some" people, not all.

In another thread someone did say he had great success from a company that rewrote his profile for him. I don't know if he was truthful or pitching the business to get clients for them. They reviewed his pictures also. Nonetheless, I was skeptical.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 286
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 11:28:01 AM
Good points, but pretty much some guy who is a baller/pimp of the nation/stud with women/attractive to women/no problems dating, typically not going to be seeking dates online in the first place.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 287
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:04:12 PM

but pretty much some guy who is a baller/pimp of the nation/stud with women/attractive to women/no problems dating, typically not going to be seeking dates online in the first place

Really? Would you say Ashton Kutcher would be in that category?
He's admitted to using on line dating sites before. Along with a few others but mostly female celebrities will own up to it....
-Halle Berry...admitted to using cat rooms and dating but didn't disclose which one..
-Kate Perry....Tinder
-Adele...Match
-Lindsay Lohen
-Chelsea Handler
-Preston...some boy band singer?
-Oh and think Cher...also said she used online dating, maybe that's how she met Rob the Pizza guy?

I'm sure some may have been for $hits and giggles but some may have been out of sheer loneliness...and/or because it's just there.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 288
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:13:43 PM

There is only one person in all of POF-land that has ever claimed my current profile is terrible: Coma. Most have said it’s pretty good and far better than most other men’s. Several of my female friends approved it. There is almost no doubt the profile is not the issue.
I don't think it's a great profile and think you need help.
It's a total turn off to me and has nothing to do with height.
I'm short (4' 10") and if I was your age, I'd never date you either.

I think you are the king of rationalization and in your head you live in the past.
Who cares what you could bench press or what your IQ is or how smart you were?
Lots of people had sh*tty childhoods and bad role models, were bullied, etc.

Listen, your attitude comes through in your profile and all your posts and your height is the least of your problems.
In my opinion, you are your own worst enemy.

Kevin Hart doesn't blame his height for anything and has a great attitude which didn't just start when he became famous:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AARlmX4Du7Q

Ghandi was 5' 4"
Prince is 5' 2"
Andrew Carnegie was 5' 2"
Paul Simon is 5' 3"
Picasso 5' 4"
Voltaire 5' 3"
Martin Scorsese 5'3"
Spike Lee 5' 5"

Examples are endless....so no, I don't buy that it's purely height. They were short before they became famous. They became famous because of personality, drive, talent, and more.
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 289
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:18:14 PM

I'm sure some may have been for $hits and giggles but some may have been out of sheer loneliness...and/or because it's just there.


You are right about that. Just because some is doing well IRL there is no reason that the should not to avail themselves of an effortless poke from the internet.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 290
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:20:23 PM

they need to put a hook on a line and bait on the hook until he is blue in the face. These guys will still argue with him and still complain that they can't catch anything.




You want a fishing analogy? You’re like the guy who has a gigantic fishnet and believes the guy with a single fishing pole isn’t catching as many fish as you because he isn’t trying hard enough.


Put a hook on the line and the bait, cast.

Even in the fish analogy you missed the point.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 291
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History
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:31:19 PM

Even I consider my high school valedictorianship to be a joke for that reason

Not a joke -- just not an ingredient for validating "on earth" ;)

was a National Merit semi-finalist, graduated from a non-Alabama major college’s honors program magna cum laude

Okay, that's very impressive...

The actual physical bullying came to an abrupt end during 8th grade when

Okay, so you weren't physically bullied in high school -- and you made that come to and end at the end of junior high. You played on the football team, was valedictorian, and were a power lifter. I'm not at all saying you should have been garnering dates in that there high school, nor Mr Popular given you stuck out being the 'token' black kid in the deep south (as opposed to suburbs of the north), but going into high school, I figure a gear would shift for the better...

Not so much that I was “not white” physically but because I had a “white personality,” which made me unacceptable to both racist whites (which was nearly all of them) and to the handful of blacks (my music taste in particular was much derided by both).

I think racist whites appreciate, and many even like "colored folk" who have a "white" personality.

I was always getting into these situations in which I thought a white person was my friend and then discovered they were saying racist things behind my back. Although that was really more of a guy thing.

Yeah, especially in high school. Race, religion, etc. Put that in the deep south - yeah, it's layed on thick.

It made me realize that if I didn’t have children when I was young that I had no business having children at all because I didn’t want to subject them to such issues, even though I’d like to think I’d be much more “hip” than my parents, but then doesn’t everybody?

That's not a good reason Not to have kids when older - lol. That's the parents being out of touch. You don't have to be "hip" to be in touch -- just not purposely stuck in old-school land. Living out in farm country in the deep south -- sure. But living in the city and such? No. The reason not to have kids when older is that the 'have kids' bug isn't so strong for many, and you see the green grass on the other side of the fence. Of course, to fully see that includes having fun with nightlife & also dating. :) But even without that part fully there, settling-down & having kids, in and of itself is Laughable as any "accomplishment". Anyone can do that, it's no talent or luck. It shouldn't in and of itself be any goal. Settling in with a gal should only even be a thought once you've already gotten to know her and dated her. Fully settling in and the thought of having kids with Her should only be there once you've settled in some over some time. We don't live in a world of sharecropping and fur trading where you settle in to breed and have kids take care of you and help out, etc., as a matter of fruitful survival. We're still conditioned to go on that "career" path, but it definitely has it's pluses & minuses like anything else. But emotionally we're conditioned to see it more than that. It's a Great Fit with the Right Person, at a Reasonable Time -- as with other things -- and that's only when it should be wanted at all.
 missmgregor
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 292
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:58:16 PM
People who once lived with others and are then happy remaining living alone for the rest of their lives are obviously people who had very bad experiences and never want to repeat it. In a sense, they have lost the capacity for intimacy, bonding, friendship through their bad experiences. You need to get it right the first time. Often there are no second chances at happiness.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 293
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History
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:07:21 PM
Yes, of course.

One misstep, and you're doomed.

Your daddy wasn't nice -- doomed.
Mommy not nice -- doomed.

Too short, wrong color, too fat, not pretty, wrong this, wrong that, wrong ANYTHING -- doomed.

Or, you could stop being a victim and do some work and turn it all around. So much less fun than complaining all the time, though.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 294
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:15:22 PM

In a sense, they have lost the capacity for intimacy, bonding, friendship through their bad experiences. You need to get it right the first time. Often there are no second chances at happiness.


Happiness is a state of mind. And as all states of mind it's controlled by your thoughts. If you think you're miserable, you're miserable. If you think you can overcome. You overcome. The key is the realization that those external things do not define you and that you can break from the shackles that they create.

In the old days you just lived like a victim and you accepted your fate because you didn't have the tools or information to first realize the problem and then to correct it.

Today there are enough tools available so you do not have to live by this preconditioned identity. The path to your happiness is available to EVERYONE.

But first you have to let go of the past. There are many books that can tell you what to do next. From Eackhard Toole's book, the power of now, to Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill, to many others.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 295
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:19:56 PM
Sometimes for some people, dwelling in misery can be comfortable. To each their own.
 missmgregor
Joined: 2/14/2016
Msg: 296
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:21:11 PM
People can read all of the self help books they want, get therapy, read Psychology Today. The fact that people know what they should do to achieve happiness in no way means they will actually to be able to achieve it. Being miserable while living with another person over a period of time is not something easily overcome. Many of the posts all over these boards are pretty good evidence of this as being true more often than not in my opinion. Like I said, you generally get one chance . . two at best for most of us to get what you want. After that, it is all about acceptance and settling.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 297
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:43:33 PM

Happiness is a state of mind. And as all states of mind it's controlled by your thoughts. If you think you're miserable, you're miserable. If you think you can overcome. You overcome. The key is the realization that those external things do not define you and that you can break from the shackles that they create.
How true.
It is also a lot of work and some people are more comfortable in their misery.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 298
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:46:06 PM

Like I said, you generally get one chance . . two at best for most of us to get what you want. After that, it is all about acceptance and settling.


If that is the formula that you believe, that is the ONLY formula that you will have. Period.

Any other formula will only be available to you only when you truly realize that what you believe, you become.

I am the happiest man in planet earth. Why? Because I have stress out the ying-yang. I have plenty of problems to solve. I have so many things I need to do for my lover, for my kids, for my friend and I know if I was a little more disciplined and did not come to these stupid forums I would get them done faster. But in the mean time I am just freaking thankful that I have a chance at bat, a chance to do, a chance to face my own demons. I am not content, and yes I want a lot more, but not having that MORE whatever the hell it is, does not make me less happy, or willing to give up. Instead I persist, I pursue, and that makes me the happiest man in the planet.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 299
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History
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 1:55:23 PM
"I'll be the second one to say that your profile stinks."/
“I don't think it's a great profile and think you need help.” / “Listen, your attitude comes through in your profile”

Clarify. (And ignore the two pictures that are with my best friend – I only put those up yesterday for the purpose of answering a forums question. When my profile is unhidden and I’m back to dating mode again, I will take them down, as I know many women do not like to see pictures of a guy who looks like he’s with his girlfriend/wife/whatever, though she is none of those but I realize it looks that way in the pictures.)

"I could dunk a basketball but I never played in the NBA because I didn't do the gruelling work that comes with it Of course that has nothing to do with you. "

Why do people keep saying I'm not putting in the "grueling work" to get dates? That's the majority of what I talk about on this site -- the amount of work I've put into getting dates! It's often been literally like a second job, 20+ hours a week at times. Just how much work have you done to get dates?

“They were short before they became famous”

Yeah, but, what was their dating life like before they were famous?

“I figure a gear would shift for the better...”

You answered your own question with the previous sentences. My brother’s best friend, who was in the grade below mine, was black, tall and an all-state football and basketball player, very nice, very normal by our area’s standards and so popular that he was elected class president almost every year. Like my brother and I, he graduated dateless. Again, one black girl across four graduating classes. During my senior year, a white girl decided my brother’s best friend might be worth destroying her reputation over because he was such a cool guy. The principal caught wind of her crush, brought both of them separately into his office and yelled at them about maintaining racial purity and not bringing any mixed babies into his school system. They never talked to each other again but later on the girl was beat up by two of her former female friends for having interest in a black boy. And, yes, everybody knew what the principal said to them and he didn’t get in trouble over it – most of the school board members were racist as well. (As proven without a doubt a few years later during a much more infamous event that happened at my father’s school that eventually made international news. When I tell most people about that incident, they can't believe it even happened in the 90s -- they think I'm talking about something that happened in the 60s.)

“I think racist whites appreciate, and many even like ‘colored folk’ who have a ‘white’ personality.”

Then you, my friend, have never lived in rural Alabama. But there’s also the matter of we’re talking about kids, who tend to make fun of anyone who is different until they learn better. Donald Trump might think Ben Carson is a cool black guy, but Trump is an adult (sorta – actually, maybe this was a bad example!).
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 300
People who have been single most of their lives.
Posted: 4/19/2016 2:15:46 PM
I've only met one genius in my long Life - and he never mentioned he was :)
Yes, everyone is special, just like everyone else
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