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 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 151
Gorgeous Women over 50Page 7 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Oh Mr. Ohenry! You know I like you....I really do....but this statement...

"I have advised men (on here, and in real life) to "date down", for the same reasons. Get over being desperate, get in some practice at the basic social skills, get comfortable (after a 20 or 30 year hiatus) with the whole idea of dating."


Is going to make me scream! Ok....probably not scream but I for sure need a trip you Disney World to restore my faith in the goodness of humanity!

Why....does anyone think it is okay to use another person for their own selfish purposes? And don't tell me that is not using someone cause it darn sure is! Pay a prostitute or take some social skills classes! Don't practice on others if you don't have a real interest in them. You don't go messing with other people's emotions to try to fix your own! Sheesh!


Alright....I'm done yelling now. Whew! I feel better. Thanks :D
 _babblefish
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 152
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 2:50:09 PM

Abelian used to advise men on this site to pay for it if they needed to, in order to avoid coming off as desperate. Women can smell desperation on a man, and it is a very powerful anti-attractant. I have advised men (on here, and in real life) to "date down", for the same reasons.


don't trip over that bar
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 153
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 3:45:48 PM


Abelian used to advise men on this site to pay for it if they needed to, in order to avoid coming off as desperate. Women can smell desperation on a man, and it is a very powerful anti-attractant.


Eliminating the desperate scent was covered in that flick There's Something About Mary.

Basically, male is told to jerk off before a date.

Sounds more cost effective IMHO.



I have advised men (on here, and in real life) to "date down", for the same reasons.


I dunno.

Dating 'down' for dinners or sex sounds like a lot of work when lubriderm is so much less demanding and cost effective as well.

I think both genders are more inclined to engage in these type of shenanigans when just coming out of long term relationships; when any pulse showing interest is a turn on.

I agree with KJ, but unfortunately, insincerity and disingenuous behavior still occurs.

If I can't see myself eventually sharing a pic with her on my FB profile, then why bother?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 154
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 4:25:44 PM

Women can smell desperation on a man, and it is a very powerful anti-attractant. I have advised men (on here, and in real life) to "date down", for the same reasons.


If you don't want to come across as desperate, do the necessary work to raise your marketability. That way, you won't need to "date down".
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 155
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 4:54:43 PM
Someone somewhere is saying they dated down with you Henry
So crass/ I expected more from a Man your age
Sometimes what people say here lets me know why they still single
Like Abe was a dating guru
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 156
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History
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 5:04:28 PM
If they have their age stated then you look at the pics to see if that seems feasible. You never know who is being deceitful until you actually meet and sometimes not even then. Bathroom selfies are a turn off for most of us as are unclear shots. You make a meeting time and take your chances.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 157
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History
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 5:11:50 PM
Sean Connery is off my list since the revelations about him being a wife beater.
Brad Pitt never did it for me but I like George Clooney, partly because of the tone of his voice and he is a man of substance.

I like Tonio Banderos, very handsome, but nice and unassuming with it.
Tom Selleck very handsome and very tall.

Bill Gates has a pleasant face and is intelligent and humanitarian.

Donald Trump I cant stand and wont watch a moment of t.v. when he is on. If he becomes President the US will suffer in lots of ways.

Mickey Rooney's track record beggars belief and I cant imagine why he married so many women such as Ava Gardner. He was lucky to be 5'4" and always looked like a little imp..
Wonderful personality but still.... in bed??? I cant imagine it.
I agree Crook Catcher seems attractive on here and has intelligent comments.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 158
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/27/2016 10:55:48 PM
Sean Connery - too hairy, never been my type. Doesn't do anything for me. Ditto for GEorge Clooney, Brad Pitt, and the other usual heart throbs.

I like Rob Evans ( who looks like the twin of a guy I was involved with for more than two years, it's unreal)
https://www.facebook.com/therobevans/

Also like Brandon Carter
https://www.facebook.com/BigBrandonCarter/

Just two I could think of the top of my hat.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 159
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 6:50:49 AM
Date down
Marketbility
Women... for certain night dates
Abelian the dating guru...now, that was funny Ouija

I've fallen down the rabbit hole....this must be lala land...
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 160
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 7:08:13 AM
Well if I get to pick I'd take Shemar Moore, Vin Diesel and Rick Genest. All if I could.
and Beckham
Wonder if they date down? The brown bag theory
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 161
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History
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:12:03 AM
Too many beautiful black ladies over 50 for me to even name.
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 162
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History
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:26:02 AM
Didn't you mean Rick Moranis?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 163
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Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:48:32 AM

Ouija2025
Someone somewhere is saying they dated down with you Henry

Of course they are. There are probably many who think that, in some cases I would agree, and in others not so much. I have dated many women who were well above “my league”, and I enjoyed the hell out of every minute of it, and will gladly do so again in the future.


ClooneysTutor
I think both genders are more inclined to engage in these type of shenanigans when just coming out of long term relationships; when any pulse showing interest is a turn on.

Exactly. Everyone here is familiar with the symptoms. Men come on here, say they can’t get a date to save their life. What they need to do is (at least temporarily) lower their standards. Get a date, go out, socialize, have a good time in the company of a woman. Refresh your social skills, start believing in yourself, that you can get a date, that you can show a woman a good time.

Makes a hell of a lot more sense to me than staying at home alone, coming on these forums, and whining about, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a date? Why does no ever answer my messages?”

I think the problem with most of these men who are trying to start over, and having no success, is that they have a vastly overrated idea of their value in the dating market. They all want a 9, and they can’t get one to even answer their initial message. So send a message to a 5, date down to start. Then gradually, as your confidence and your social skills increase, work your way back up the food chain. When you get back to where no one answers your emails, then you know where you fit on the “ladder”. If you can get dates with a 7, but not an 8, now you know.

halcyon_skies
If you don't want to come across as desperate, do the necessary work to raise your marketability. That way, you won't need to "date down".

Once you know where you fit on the ladder, then you can decide whether or not you are happy with that position, and whether you want to “do the necessary work to raise your marketability”.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 164
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:57:08 AM

Once you know where you fit on the ladder, then you can decide whether or not you are happy with that position, and whether you want to “do the necessary work to raise your marketability”.


If you feel the need to "date down", you're not happy with your position on the ladder. That goes without saying.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 165
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:59:09 AM
I'm gonna get a thicker wallet and see if that compensates for my fat a$$.

They might as well gawk at something while they're checking it out.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 166
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 9:03:36 AM
Goodness Mr. OHenry....

Since you put that way...I suppose I should unhide my profile and just let all those fellas that message me...take me to dinner and whatnot, right?

I guess it has been very selfish of me not to do a public service and do my part to help improve their social skills.

Do you think they will get angry when I tell them that ? I mean they shouldn't right? Cause we're just having a good time. :)
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 167
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:02:32 AM


Once you know where you fit on the ladder, then you can decide whether or not you are happy with that position, and whether you want to “do the necessary work to raise your marketability".


If you feel the need to "date down", you're not happy with your position on the ladder. That goes without saying.


I don't think I agree with this, Halcyon.
One's place on the 'ladder' is a conglomerate of factors that is judged by other people (over whom we have no control) and is usually appearance-ruled for women. So let's say that I'm a middling 5 on this ladder. I can date at my level. I can date up by being sexually easy, indiscriminate, and not caring how I am treated by the 8, 9, or 10 who is the object of my desires. Or I can date down by looking for one quality -- perhaps the desire to be the absolute center of one man's world -- and making that the criteria for what I want in a man rather than any other factor which makes up the 'ladder'.

I don't necessarily want a pretty boy or a handsome man because I've found those qualities both fleeting and insubstantial; many of the beautiful people I have met are self-centered and superficial.
I don't need a well-to-do or rich man to take care of me because I can take care of myself monetarily; and that can buy most other care I might need as I grow older. I am in charge of my own security.
I don't NEED an 8, 9, or 10 in either looks or money.
This frees me to chose my own criteria (a 9 or 10 in integrity, kindness, and curiosity) for who I date; not what society dictates I should have because I do or do not fit their criteria of an 8 or a 3 on some imaginary scale of perceived attractiveness.

Sometimes, dating is simply for fun and getting to know people. I think this is what Henry is talking about when he says some men should date simply to learn how to act on a date. Dating both up and down the ladder without expectations for anything other than a good time doing something with enjoyable company without expectations of anything more.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 168
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:28:06 AM

One's place on the 'ladder' is a conglomerate of factors that is judged by other people (over which we have no control) and is usually appearance-ruled for women.


I disagree that we have no control. We certainly have control over our appearance.


So let's say that I'm a middling 5 on this ladder. I can date at my level. I can date up by being sexually easy, indiscriminate, and not caring how I am treated by the 8, 9, or 10 who is the object of my desires. Or I can date down by looking for one quality -- perhaps the desire to be the absolute center of one man's world -- and making that the criteria for what I want in a man rather than any other factor which makes up the 'ladder'.


Again, if you feel that you're "dating down", which by its very definition means you're dating someone you feel is beneath you, in all likelihood, you have low self-esteem. That usually boils down to insecurity about your appearance, income level, or some other factor that's in your power to change. If you need to be the center of a man's world to feel good about yourself, you need to summon up some self-introspection so that you can work toward raising your self-esteem.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 169
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:42:04 AM

I've fallen down the rabbit hole....this must be lala land.


Heeeeellllloo ooo ooo, Alice, Can you hear me?


I know I live out in "the boonies". Lot of woodchuck holes.


Dating both up and down the ladder without expectations for anything other than a good time doing something with enjoyable company without expectations of anything more.


I've seen a lot of ladders, in my time, but never saw a "Dating ladder". LOL, Are the rungs marked out for the years in use?

Painted the ceiling-1996
Painted the garage-2004
2010 Fell off the ladder, Damn that hurt!
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 170
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:52:33 AM
^^^^^^And apparently Ms. GorgeousLadyinRed...the "Dating Ladder" correlates with the days of the week, too! :D

I guess Monday must be at the bottom! Hahaha
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 171
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 10:57:10 AM
ooo oo o oo Kj I sooooo forgot that! Yes indeedy, One should never forget what day of the week a man chooses to meet us! LOL

(She shuffles off to get ready for work, Rules, rules rules, hmpf, gotta remember "The rules".)
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 172
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 11:06:44 AM
Yeah! And if some guy asks me out on a Monday....I'm gonna tell him just where to stick his ladder!



Sometimes I wonder how people manage to put their underpants on.

Oh! Wait! They probably got those categorized and labeled by days of the week, too. :/
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 173
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 11:41:13 AM
KJ, no you MUST go out with him.. duty as a woman to improve men;s social skills, etc.
Dating ladder. Hmm, more like snakes and ladders. According to a few Men ( ONE) it doesn't matter if she will be crushed when he moves on to the unicorn 8 as he got his toes back in the water.
Dating for some is like riding a bike. Through the 5th level of Hades. And the bike is on fire. And you have no helmet.
Fun times!
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 174
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 2:58:28 PM


One's place on the 'ladder' is a conglomerate of factors that is judged by other people (over which we have no control) and is usually appearance-ruled for women.


I disagree that we have no control. We certainly have control over our appearance.

Less than you think.



So let's say that I'm a middling 5 on this ladder. I can date at my level. I can date up by being sexually easy, indiscriminate, and not caring how I am treated by the 8, 9, or 10 who is the object of my desires. Or I can date down by looking for one quality -- perhaps the desire to be the absolute center of one man's world -- and making that the criteria for what I want in a man rather than any other factor which makes up the 'ladder'.


Again, if you feel that you're "dating down", which by its very definition means you're dating someone you feel is beneath you, in all likelihood, you have low self-esteem. That usually boils down to insecurity about your appearance, income level, or some other factor that's in your power to change. If you need to be the center of a man's world to feel good about yourself, you need to summon up some self-introspection so that you can work toward raising your self-esteem.


I don't date by 'ladders' and hierarchies, I don't date a man because he's a muscular hunk or has several more zeros on the end of his bank account than I do. I was merely using your (the generic, plural 'your') definition and measurement for dating since that seems to be the easiest way to explain. I don't date 'down' or 'up'. I date people I like, people whose company I enjoy. I've dated and had wonderful relationships with men you would think beneath you - too poor, too short, too skinny, too ugly. I never thought them beneath me but I suspect many of you (again, plural) would think I've dated down and been surprised at the 'dating down' of other men I've dated.

Ladders and levels are arbitrary and made up. If you confine your dating to 'ladders' and 'levels' then you get people that live their life in comparison to other people in this game. I don't play games in dating or living and I don't compare myself to other people.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 175
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 4:39:34 PM
Wow. Just wow.

Do y'all realize how icky this thread has become?

Can we just get back OT? Which happened to be how gorgeous we women over 50 are.

This topic is so rare, can't we save the dating ladder, and gender war, for some other thread? Pretty please with sugar on top?
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