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 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 176
Gorgeous Women over 50Page 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)


Can we just get back OT? Which happened to be how gorgeous we women over 50 are.


Interesting sometimes the reactions to beautiful women over 50. There is a lady who comes to my work to service the vending machines. The first time I saw her she smiled at me and I literally stopped in my tracks. The interesting part is only the older "thinking " men at work think like I do, others think she would be attractive if she dyed her white hair and put on some makeup. I can only shake my head. FYI I work at a fabrication shop, up to 100 men and only 2 women work there so women who wander thru get discussed. Grin
I agree, on Sat night (sorry cannot resist, yes a SATURDAY night LOL) had the best blind date EVER, an very attractive woman sat down across from me, a couple of hours later after experiencing her wit, intelligence and passion for life I walked a beautiful woman back to her car.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 177
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 5:18:39 PM
Drag
Did you say to any of these amusing lads
that if they dyed their hair, wore make up, got that belly sucked out and had a boob job and a hair transplant
They might get a shot at her
Ugly dirty men saying how women should change to be more attractive
are generally ugly dirty men
I like the way you think btw
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 178
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 5:58:03 PM


Did you say to any of these amusing lads
that if they dyed their hair, wore make up, got that belly sucked out and had a boob job and a hair transplant
They might get a shot at her
Ugly dirty men saying how women should change to be more attractive
are generally ugly dirty men


Pretty sure you know the type of person we are discussing and I would be wasting my breath.
I will say though working where I do I have met some interesting people, not judging "a book by its cover" has never been made so clear.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 179
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Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 7:48:30 PM

If you feel the need to "date down", you're not happy with your position on the ladder. That goes without saying.

I think what his position is (roughly speaking) is that you don't "Settle" -- you're feeling out the market, so to speak. As he said, some people new to the dating scene/market, will aim for 9s and cry that they can't get a date. So you start by mingling "down" -- feeling out what you pick up on interest with others, etc. It's not about taking people out on full-fledged dates, and for much of it, not even dates at all. Some folks new to the market have no clue, which is why if you're running into ruts, start low, then climb up until you get consistent/frequent brush-offs.

This is also good for those with low self-esteem or are very intimidated. The latter often happens when one's new to the dating market. They get intimidated & frustrated, "dating sucks", etc. What Bob needs to do then is start low, get used to mingling with gals on the lower end. Get used to flirting here and there on the lower end, and then asking for #s . Baby steps. Raise things up. You can test yourself against the market and see where you land. So you're not "settling" or even "dating" anyone on Any level -- but you start to obviously If you see one you quite possibly dig.

For women, it's a bit different because they're usually not the approachers for mingling, but sometimes there's neither an approacher or approachee. I would say to said gal with too much frustration or intimidation, or too little esteem... to open themselves up for mingling with a smile without having their "bar" so high. Get used to mingling/interacting not only with "What I deserve!" as far as running off in the sunset with. Doing so opens one up socially -- and opens up their esteem and lessens frustration. But for women though, they have less control if they want to be the classic "men come to me". As I've told Lady Jane -- you have to put yourself in the right places -- within a bar or social event, or to the right ones and not the unideal ones.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 180
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:29:36 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



I think what his position is (roughly speaking) is that you don't "Settle" -- you're feeling out the market, so to speak.


Your posts sound like you are analyzing a stock. Buy/sell/hold ... in the market... trade Futures on Tuesdays.... look for good penny stocks on Fridays.... if you meet resistance at 8 then trade at 7 or lower ... mingle with "low price" stocks... raise things up... test yourself against the market... some folks new to the market have no clue... baby steps.. buy low, sell high.... flirt with the lower end... ask for numbers... no wonder Bob is frustrated.

When is the Webinar on Dating puts and calls ? ... any tips on Forex ?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 181
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:31:59 PM
Everybody settles.

If you don't, you're fvcked.

At least in the over 45 crowd.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 182
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/28/2016 8:40:37 PM

Some folks new to the market have no clue,


That's not restricted to "folks new to the market".


Raise things up.


With the right women, things have no problem raising up.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 183
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 5:33:42 AM

Someone somewhere is saying they dated down with you Henry.


Do women as a rule say things like that?

One told me she stopped dating 10's (they were too unfaithful and too much in love with themselves) and decided to date 6 & 7's. She advised her girlfriend to do the same.

I thought her comment was crass, but she was a beautiful 35 year-old blue eyed blonde with a great figure. She had a high paying office job, a bachelor's degree, no children and owned two houses: one on an island.

I was a short 38 year-old shipyard worker raising 3 children alone. I'd say she was dating down if someone was to ask that question. But it turned out to be a great relationship that lasted 23 years.

I doubt if she told her co-workers she was 'dating down'. I never told my co-workers I was dating up (but I did show photos of us on vacations).

I have learned a bit about women from this forum. A few things I never would have guessed.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 184
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 6:08:56 AM

Do women as a rule say things like that?

This was said in response to the "man" that dates according to some sort of ladder gauge.
But...apparently so, since your SO....admitted to it.



I have learned a bit about women from this forum.

It's good someone did....lol.


Everybody settles.

Not going to ever.....everyone I fell in love with was and will be a 10.....
Drag me off to therapy.....for not setting.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 185
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 8:03:54 AM
Anything other then perfect is settling to some degree, and human beings are too complex to regard as 7's or 10's.

The few times I've read a woman's profile and she says she's not about to settle, I quickly move on.

Sounds high maintenance and superficial. Often the word compatibility is mentioned in her profile as well.

In other words, she's read some relationship books and is gonna interrogate me before determining if chemistry is present.

I suppose if one were to use these rating systems, one might be inclined to say they met a 6 (not perfect) that became a 10 (perfect) later on.

Being unique with imperfections can be appealing as well.

YMMV

p.s. Why don't one of you gals start a thread about gorgeous men over 50?
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 186
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 8:23:14 AM
^^^^ Clooney, please check message 154


I think age changes who you see as a hunk. I see some hunks on here but it may not be based solely for looks but for character, humour, how they think, how they express themselves - BigbadIrish, Crookcatcher, Clooney, Walts come to mind....all of them are hunks.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 187
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 8:24:58 AM
Clooney...I just noticed I said setting...instead of settling....too early
I never said...any of my mates were "perfect"....some may not have viewed them as a "10"....but they were in my eyes.
I wouldn't want to be with anyone that I viewed as less than what I want or vise versa.
My grading of people...is how they make me feel about myself.

Maya Angelou quote....Some people may forgive what you did....others will forget what you said but they will never forget "how" you made them feel
Maybe not word for word...

As for hunks on here....I really don't know any of you to say if you would be a friend or someone I admire.
From what I see...nobody is perfect on here and we "all" need therapy for something.
I don't like to omit someones name and make them feel bad about themselves, because I don't agree with their opinions...high schoolish.
I know, when there was a thread started about posters faves or something or other.....silly...imo.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 188
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 8:36:33 AM


Some people may forgive what you did....others will forget what you said but they will never forget "how" you made them feel


Exactly. How do you feel around this person?

I think we're on the same page :)

Thank you for the shout out Lily.

I know this Chutes and Ladders thing is a popular subject with the ladies, so I thought I'd include a link to the subject matter so you can be prepared when meeting a man using this train of thought....

http://www.laddertheory.com/
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 189
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 9:55:17 AM

Ladders and levels are arbitrary and made up. If you confine your dating to 'ladders' and 'levels' then you get people that live their life in comparison to other people in this game. I don't play games in dating or living and I don't compare myself to other people.


I was originally responding to Henry, who used the terms, "dating down" and "ladder". Those were not my terms. All people compare themselves to others, whether they realize it or not. It's just part of the game we call "human nature". We gauge how others stack up against us in terms of looks, intellect, income, educational level, athletic ability, and accomplishments, among other things.

As I said before, if you choose to date people whom you feel are beneath you, i.e. have less to offer than you do, you likely have issues with self-esteem. If so, you need to work on raising it---and some cases, that might even require therapy or taking a break from dating. You're not doing the other person whom you feel is beneath you any favors by dating them. You can even end up hurting them without meaning to.

That guy with the jacked up teeth that you just want to have a fun, enjoyable time with could end up falling in love with you--when you knew all along that you could never feel the same way about him. What then?
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 190
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Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 10:46:02 AM

halcyon_skies
As I said before, if you choose to date people whom you feel are beneath you, i.e. have less to offer than you do, you likely have issues with self-esteem.

Yes, you did say that before. And I had the same reaction, both times. And I'm surprised no one else has pointed out that this appears to be a logical fallacy.

If you have "issues with self esteem", then you would think of yourself as being unworthy, not equal to, lesser than other people. How could you possibly "date people whom you feel are beneath you" when you think of yourself as being "lesser than other people"?

And I'm going to add a disclaimer here: I have been around a long time, many of the regulars here know me, but for those who don't -- I am not a troll, I don't say things just to "get a rise" or "stir up the pot". I often have contrarian views, and I often do "stir up the pot", and I don't mind that. Dissenting views are welcomed, I come here for open discussion. Not for flame wars. As long as we can keep things civil, an open exchange of ideas is a good thing. IMO.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 191
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Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:01:42 AM

Your posts sound like you are analyzing a stock.

Well, when you're out in the dating scene mingling with others -- it's definitely a market.

... any tips on Forex

No, but definitely buy Durex. That applies to the dating scene once it goes beyond merely feeling out the market. :)

Everybody settles. If you don't, you're fvcked.

I agree. I was referring to the settling purposely & significantly Down scenario that Halcyon was talking about -- that it's not about Settling down that ladder, but mingling with those on that level to gain confidence and/or to get a feel as to how ya are in the marketplace.

But yes, in the end, when settling in with anyone, you're Settling. One can always theoretically get at least an ever-so-slightly better pick, and definitely a lower one. Even with a primo pick, you're still settling.

Often the word compatibility is mentioned in her profile as well.

As a side note, people will Settle when it comes to compatibility, when other factors (namely looks) is High, without realizing it. Sometimes to a strong degree that's not in their best interest in the end ("Why do I always end up with guys like this?!"). But many times Average Joe who knows Cute Sally but can't land much more than a date with her, will be frustrated with her as she told him they aren't compatible -- even when it was an honest response in her mind... but he sees her out with Hot Carl who he kinda knows and realizes they don't have any more compatibility, and if anything, a little less than he himself and she does. Why? Anything that isn't distinctly Incompatible is the key... and at least to some degree, compatibility will be much more open to form with those we find very attractive (looks/persona/success). And to those we do not find attractive -- many times we'll be too quick to say or believe much of it's due to "compatibility" to sound/feel less 'superficial', when in reality, most of it was about looks.

And I'm going to add a disclaimer here: I have been around a long time, many of the regulars here know me, but for those who don't -- I am not a troll, I don't say things just to "get a rise" or "stir up the pot".

I couldn't see why one would hiss at you or anything... it's a good POV/insight. But yeah, it's non-PC and definitely can be sensitive to some (but that's what forums are for, as opposed to group-talk when mingling in the dating scene).
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 192
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:02:58 AM


If you have "issues with self esteem", then you would think of yourself as being unworthy, not equal to, lesser than other people.


There is a fallacy in that statement. People who have self esteem problems are simply comparing themselves to other people and reaching the conclusion that they are "less" than the individual they are comparing themselves to. On the other hand, they can easily compare themselves to someone they consider to be even "less" than they are (and as shown in these forums, they often do).



How could you possibly "date people whom you feel are beneath you" when you think of yourself as being "lesser than other people"?


That seems to be a way of life for some in these forums. The whole "scale"/"leagues" nonsense is inherently based on self esteem problems in addition to having a very unrealistic concept of personal value.

An example of that, guys who won't date a woman on a Friday unless she is an 8 or above (picked the 8 out of thin air) or as has been stated in previous posts, the guy feels the girl is out of his "league". However, the same guy (with blatantly obvious self esteem problems) will date a "lesser" woman on a Tuesday because he is out of her "league" and not worth "sacrificing" a Friday or Saturday for.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 193
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:18:59 AM

If you have "issues with self esteem", then you would think of yourself as being unworthy, not equal to, lesser than other people. How could you possibly "date people whom you feel are beneath you" when you think of yourself as being "lesser than other people"?


Because people with self-esteem issues feel unworthy of happiness. Deep down, they don't like themselves. Hence, they might choose to date people they know are not right for them. They might date someone they don't find physically attractive, or someone who is unsuitable in some other way---e.g. someone who is married or who has no job.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 194
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:41:24 AM

Because people with self-esteem issues feel unworthy of happiness

Ugh!! I'll play Dr. Ruth now.....but who are "we" to tell someone what their "happiness is"?
I think certain people date...what they consider 5's or lower on the ladder because they aren't after...forever after and love/commitment.
They may have low opinions of themselves and others and just don't care but usually they think they're just fine.
Some just want "sex" and live their life trying to figure out how to get it....others want more.
Some will settle for what they can get...because it's easy. Doesn't involve much from them in return....does it?

People accept the kind of love they think they deserve....profound but so true!
JMO.....
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 195
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Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 11:58:48 AM

The whole "scale"/"leagues" nonsense is inherently based on self esteem problems in addition to having a very unrealistic concept of personal value.

Not at all. I would say those who Refuse to recognize the Basic underlying concept of scales/leagues are more apt to have low self-esteem (or are trying to Avoid getting their esteem to take a hit). If there's such thing as Value, there's a low and a high and an in-between. Hence, a scale. If it's not an on/off switch, there's a scale to it. Refusing to recognize the concept is refusing to recognize a basic concept of reality. If there's such thing as "bad looking, really bad looking, average, above average, real cute, hot .... total a-hole, kind of an a-hole, decent, pretty cool, really cool, amazing," etc -- there's scales. It's as simple as that. And yes, I know what you're going to say on that latter scale. :)

I can understand for a period of time Forgetting about it to change one's mentality when they're in a rut -- especially if they're trying to over-analyze beyond what their internal attractiveness/lure tells them. On the other hand, there's others who are stuck on wanting only the cream of the crop (9+) when such folks are out of their league, which is why they're not getting anywhere -- but they're not realizing it (usually because they're new to the dating scene and have been tied up in a Relationship forever). Said people need to place themselves in comparison to what they like to see if they match up, and to improve themselves better as a person with attractive qualities (ie scale on the dating market).

guys who won't date a woman on a Friday unless she is an 8 or above (picked the 8 out of thin air) or as has been stated in previous posts, the guy feels the girl is out of his "league". However, the same guy (with blatantly obvious self esteem problems) will date a "lesser" woman on a Tuesday because he is out of her "league" and not worth "sacrificing" a Friday or Saturday for.

It's not quite like that. As You said, you won't have a first-meet date on Fri/Sat *night*. When it comes to certain people who have PLANS on Fri/Sat night (or any night that's important), they're going to be less apt to Cancel said plans for someone or something that isn't really shaking the tree. It's true, whether you or I like it or not -- it's just reality. :) For those willing to cancel plans on a Fri/Sat night for ANY date is the one who'd be questionable about having had self-esteem problems. And if you take your angst out of the way and are objective, I never said anything bad about having dates on Fri/Sat nights. It's that SOME people have plans most of the time on Fri/Sat night where Merely a date, notably with someone they haven't met or gotten to know yet, won't fit into their schedule and won't be enough to shake them out of it.

For some, they have Fri/Sat nights almost always open due to how they roll, and that's just fine and dandy.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 196
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 12:02:48 PM

An example of that, guys who won't date a woman on a Friday unless she is an 8 or above (picked the 8 out of thin air) or as has been stated in previous posts, the guy feels the girl is out of his "league". However, the same guy (with blatantly obvious self esteem problems) will date a "lesser" woman on a Tuesday because he is out of her "league" and not worth "sacrificing" a Friday or Saturday for.


I'm wearing out my slide ruler by trying to keep up with the correlation of numbers versus days of the week. How would it work if we were to use a Chinese or Gregorian calendar?
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 197
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 12:42:49 PM
Not even gonna try to contemplate that, Mr. Maleman. :)

I dunno....I might be a bit retarded (I can call myself that...y'all can call me the PC version...cognitively delayed) cause when I have dated from here I didn't go through all these shenanigans. If I liked the guy's message and thought he was cute... I messaged him back. And then we would meet when it worked out for both of us. I just have never thought of people as being above or below in any aspect. For me it's just a question of possible attraction and compatibility or would our differences be too great. No better/worse...greater/less than...higher/lower....above/below....just different without negative or positive value.


But hey....you do you....and I'll do me. :D
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 198
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 12:55:42 PM

Ugh!! I'll play Dr. Ruth now.....but who are "we" to tell someone what their "happiness is"?
I think certain people date...what they consider 5's or lower on the ladder because they aren't after...forever after and love/commitment.


I'm not trying to tell anyone what their happiness is. As long as the person you consider to be a "5 or lower on the ladder" wants the same thing as you, it's not an issue. The problem arises when the other person starts to get attached to you and wants more. Why risk hurting someone?

It's just better not to date a person if you feel this way about him/her---unless there's a mutual understanding that it's a platonic friendship and nothing more.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 199
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 2:58:47 PM


Not at all. I would say those who Refuse to recognize the Basic underlying concept of scales/leagues are more apt to have low self-esteem (or are trying to Avoid getting their esteem to take a hit).


Anyone who is comparing themselves to others and establishing "leagues" as a result is bound to find himself/herself in a lower league (narcissists excepted of course) thereby negatively affecting their self esteem.

The fallacy of "scales"/"leagues" is evident given the fact that someone who is a "9" in the eyes of one person may very well be a lowly "5" in the eyes of another.




On the other hand, there's others who are stuck on wanting only the cream of the crop (9+) when such folks are out of their league,


What makes them out of their "league" ?... looks ?... are good looks a necessary ingredient in a successful relationship ?... obviously not. Therefore, 9+ is irrelevant and completely superfluous.

The other obvious problem with "scales"/"leagues" is that it doesn't take into account other personal characteristics which are determinant factors in a successful relationship.



When it comes to certain people who have PLANS on Fri/Sat night (or any night that's important), they're going to be less apt to Cancel said plans for someone or something that isn't really shaking the tree. It's true, whether you or I like it or not -- it's just reality. :)


I'm not sure what "shake the tree" means in that sentence but, if a man's interest in a particular woman is that low then, he shouldn't be dating her at all. No matter the day of the week. That's the reality.




it's just a question of possible attraction and compatibility or would our differences be too great. No better/worse...greater/less than...higher/lower....above/below....just different without negative or positive value.


^^^^ a lot simpler, not to mention effective, than the Gordian knot of "leagues" and "scales" nonsense.





How would it work if we were to use a Chinese or Gregorian calendar?


The same because the Chinese adopted a 7 day week calendar quite a while back and, while they do have an assortment of calendars (calendar of the day... chuckle), they officially go by the Gregorian calendar.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 200
Gorgeous Women over 50
Posted: 4/29/2016 4:09:01 PM

I'm not trying to tell anyone what their happiness is. As long as the person you consider to be a "5 or lower on the ladder" wants the same thing as you, it's not an issue. The problem arises when the other person starts to get attached to you and wants more. Why risk hurting someone?


Because that's life.
Am I responsible for wrapping up fragile egos in cotton? No, not my job.
So what if the other person gets attached? People get 'attached' to people they haven't even met, stalkers get attached to people they don't really know. Life is taking chances. When a guy you don't want to date asks you, do you simply him, 'No, I won't date below a 7 and you're a 3'?
Do you find nothing valuable in a person you have decided is only a 4?
You do realize that there is not a 1:1 correspondence of date:marriage? Your date/s will not necessarily lead to marriage or a relationship or even to the next date.
Dating is like traveling, it broadens our minds and horizons; it gives us more information about other people and ourselves and life in particular and in general.


It's just better not to date a person if you feel this way about him/her---unless there's a mutual understanding that it's a platonic friendship and nothing more.


Why? You could fall in love with him, you know. Would that be so terrible, to find the perfect person for you in an ugly package?

People who date up on the ladder, have self-esteem issues. They need to date up to prove that they are at that same level.
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