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 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 76
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I don't drink or smoke what some do either
Beginning to think there is a strong argument for why some should stay single.I
Wonder if RT they quote stuff back to their dates
" I have here a FB posting from 2014.. let's clear that up before I spring for coffee"
You say tomato and I say tomatoe
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 77
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 5:43:40 PM
If I am blessed with more than one person to hang out with in a week's time....I might just categorize them by logically how the time will be passed. Someone who's going to be sleeping on my shoulder by 9pm, I might as well hang out with that one on a workday night. Why end a Saturday evening by 9pm? its just a logical process and I guarantee..women look at me in the same way. They'll save Friday night for the hot hookup, and i'm the daytime weekend "let's have dinner before my daughter comes home from her father's house".

back in the days when I could get a date, I wasn't wasting Saturday night at the science museum, y'know? :) some people are fun for only some events. As for women dating guys not in their league all the time...in my neck of the woods, that's only when the ladies can't find anyone better, like for example when the only thing on the beach is a foot of snow. and I know guys (like me), who've "settled", too. but if a man or a woman can find someone who gives them a thrill in the loins AND isn't a dork in the personality department...why say no to that?

we all want to be seen from the inside, but, really....I wouldn't have enough time in the week for everyone if they did, lol :)

meanwhile...I suspect that depending upon how one defines what a "date" is, we can date people we aren't having sex with. We might be "seeing" someone and its not really a relationship, ie, monogamous commitment.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 78
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 5:52:19 PM

I wasn't wasting Saturday night at the science museum

Ooh if a guy offered to take me a to a science museum! Such a breath of fresh air after offers of a can of PBR at the dive bar - not that there's anything wrong with a can of PBR!
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 79
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 6:45:27 PM


I wasn't wasting Saturday night at the science museum, y'know? :)


but science can make for some very enjoyable dates...

For instance, smuggle a little bottle of Champagne and some strawberries (no baking required) ;-) into a planetarium to be savored under the shooting stars of the Orion nebula... the slow collision of two galaxies joined into a heavenly kiss... and the glowing mist spread into the heavens by the Eagle's nebula Pillars of Creation.

 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 80
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Posted: 4/25/2016 7:46:01 PM

I don't think that a woman who makes it explicitly clear from the get go that she wants to get to know a guy reasonably well before being intimate with him is a sign that she will make the guy jump through more "hoops". On the contrary, I view that as a sign of wisdom

Let me make it clearer: There's a time and place best for it, and there are times and places not really calling for it -- and also dependent on how you say it. When a cute girl has guys dropping off like flies in an unusual way, you look into that aspect, especially when it's before "the get-go". As I said before, it shouldn't wipe away all guys, but if handled the wrong way, some guys will take heed, as from some guys' experiences, making untimely/unwisely-said announcements like that can be (even hastily) associated with too-cautious-with-guys. It won't have an effect on guys who are ga-ga about her profile.

If I tell someone I am going to be at some place at a particular date and time then, that's the way it's going to be.

They can be clear like that, but my point is, they aren't always are. There's been stories in these forums where someone's complained about being stood up on a date, when really, they weren't stood up -- nor was the date set up how you described there. I gave an example earlier as to how it's not some mutually agreed time-and-place between two people -- but one still takes it as if it were.

That statement is normally true only after they've gone out on a few dates and they've both decided that a relationship has a reasonable chance of developing. In that case, they start seeing each other in a more "casual" setting.

Point is, as you admit, they don't ONLY have Fri & Sat nights available. It's not a "busy bee life" restricting it to only Fri/Sat nights for many. Mainly, the reason is, that's just what many do -- driven by not going out a lot on Fri/Sat nights outside the dating circuit, thus aim that for date-nights. That's the real reason, IMO. Many Can have early-evening dates during the week periodically, and some do -- but why not so prevalent? Why this 'trend' to restrict the first dates with someone only on Fri/Sat night, and hold weekday ones for guys they're starting to see? Do their "hard days work" disappear? Do people not want to go out for a little bit to unwind, only until they met someone they already started clicking with? It's not really so much about that. It's just a trend one follows as their pattern -- what they're used to, as they'll have other things they do in the evening that don't Need to be done per se... but "Why in the heck am I going to shift all that around for someone I haven't met (yet) online? My Fri/Sat nights are for those."

That's where the conflict comes in. Those who Do have an active outgoing social life, and always have social plans/aims where they already Are going to meet the opp-sex on Fri/Sat night -- are going to be thinking the opposite direction to some degree. Point being: Don't purely limit yourself to Fri/Sat nights Only. I'd say the same thing to folks like myself -- don't be too stringent on giving up a Fri/Sat night. Make sure if he/she is a seemingly real good catch, roll with it.

That doesn't sound like a date. It sounds a lot more like the first meet.

A first meet is a date. Remember, that's the OP's situation. First meets that usually fall thru from happening. They are dates -- just not necessarily very formal or anything.

If I cancelled other plans on a Friday or Saturday night to go out on a date, it's because I've already established that I'd rather spend that evening with her than doing whatever else I had originally planned. I don't see that as a sacrifice.

It is a sacrifice, even if it's worth it. Like a sacrifice fly in baseball. You're giving an out, to get a run. If one Way outweighs the other, yeah, it's not much of a sacrifice. But especially when it comes to a first date -- or even a 2nd date where sparks weren't flying (but she is seemingly a great catch) -- it may not be so. Depends what you have lined up. Those who don't usually have much fun stuff lined up on Fri/Sat night or set plans with friends -- not much of a sacrifice.

In my book there is a very significant difference between a first meet and a date. A first meet is to establish if there is mutual interest.

If you're doing this first 1-on-1 date/meet on a Fri/Sat night -- which is the underlying concept of this rambling between you and I -- yeah, it's a Date. There are such things as first dates, of course. I can see something called a first-meet but Not a date, if it's clearly not a date:

- (Not 1-on-1) You and your friends bump into and say hello to she and her friends at some place out on the town. Not a date, but an initial meet to say hi.
- (Super quick) You and she meet up at a coffee shop for an agreed 15-25m meetup during a lunch break or Sat/Sun afternoon. Oh wait -- can't do that! It's not Fri/Sat night! ;)

It is very unlikely I would ever setup a first meet on a Friday or Saturday night, not because I don't want to sacrifice anything but, simply because (to me) a first meet should be something casual simply meant to determine if there is mutual interest.

For a true Non-Date, oddly enough, a Fri/Sat night would work out better. If it's an actual non-date, either it's not going to be 1-on-1 (and not expected to soak up much time), or it's going to be Real Quick to just shake hands and say hello.

But remember, OP's situation is about 1st dates/meets not formulating. And many gals who are restricted to Fri/Sat nights -- although they may not be expecting a 7PM-12AM great 1st date as the 1st meet, those restricted to Fri/Sat nights are Many times going to also want a Date. You are what you do, not what you call it... so in the end, the a very socially active guy who has Fri/Sat nights by default filled and does plan on meeting girls anyway that way -- he'd rather have the 1st date/meetup at another time if she's not a seemingly Great catch that doesn't come around so often.
 geekgrrrl
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 81
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Posted: 4/25/2016 7:58:06 PM
^ ^ ^ ^As I attempt to decipher the dribble you have just spewed I tend to think I would be much happier single. Really I have a great life and just didn't realize it till I saw all this BS.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 82
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 8:01:35 PM
I was thinking more analysis paralysis myself.

Cliff Notes is an alien concept to some...
 LAEPF
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 83
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 10:32:57 PM
Thank you, you explained it much better than I did. And even perhaps a little more than attractiveness or intelligence, I think the men throughout my life who were 'intimidated' by me were intimidated by my directness. When a shy, not too confident guy meets a woman who is direct and straight forward, it makes them very uncomfortable, which is understandable.

Leslie:)
 LAEPF
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 84
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/25/2016 10:56:57 PM
Wow, I can't believe that an 'average' woman would be put on the lower priority of a measly weekday date. If two people like each other, they should plan a day, any day, that works best for both. The guy that posted that must think that just because a woman is 'beautiful', all she's gotta do is flick her hair, bat her eyelashes and she can have anything she wants!

I think I'm going to take the advice of a couple of the people who posted that men need to do the chasing. One from a woman, one from a man. I can't tell you how many times men have made the initial contact to me then they hem and haw until I have to ask them for the date and then they fizzle out. Or, I make initial contact and who knows what or why but they also fizzle out when it's getting too close to actually 'going on a date'.

I'm not old fashioned in the least but when it comes to the pursuit, I'm really starting to think that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Let it be as it always has been...the MAN needs to ask the WOMAN on a date. It's worked that way for ages. Why not now?

Leslie:)
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 85
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 8:39:06 AM

Wow, I can't believe that an 'average' woman would be put on the lower priority of a measly weekday date. If two people like each other, they should plan a day, any day, that works best for both

Amazing isn't it? Shows the mentality of a few men...still thinking with their little head, like a 16 year old....lol.
Hanging with my buddies before a date with an "average woman"....smh.

In GTOs defence, his was more based on....what friend to hang with for a certain occasion.
I can understand that.....I have friends that enjoy doing different things with too.
BUT.....that's hardly in the realm of dating...imo.
I don't go on a date unless....I am thinking he is special and might be my forever.
Never do I worry about what day of the week it is....we usually work it out together.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 86
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 8:52:23 AM

Wow, I can't believe that an 'average' woman would be put on the lower priority of a measly weekday date.


I know right? In all my years I've never...ever heard of such a thing. Who in their right mind would ask a woman out that they considered average at best in the first place...iow...why are you asking a woman out that isn't attractive to you? Wait...I remember.. the guy in the sex forum practicing sex on unattractive girls....otherwise known as adolescent schmucks...or...or...the 30 something cialis man. Ladies don't believe that bs. Truth be known they're probably lucky to get a date period....let alone get picky about the day. ymmv :/
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 87
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 9:12:20 AM

Never do I worry about what day of the week it is....we usually work it out together.


(She jumps up, waves her hand, "Yah, me too, Whiskey River!"

LOL, All my life, "dates" were arranged for around one's work/school schedule. I have worked all shifts, weekends, holidays, anywhere from 40 hrs a week to 60.
Raised 2 children during these years. My family will tell you, of the "five languages of love," I give of my time.

To the best of my knowledge, no man has ever planned to meet me or date me, based on my looks/attractiveness, according to the DAY OF THE WEEK?

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Holy cow! The things one learns from the Forums. Boggles my mind!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 88
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Posted: 4/26/2016 9:18:41 AM
People who go out with people they don't find attractive must be of that annoying extrovert lab puppy variety who can't be alone for more than five seconds.

I'd so much rather spend an evening by myself than with a person I find unappealing.

Yeah, asking guys out never worked for me, either. They never saw me as more than an optional pity (for me) date. As in, that poor woman is so desperate, I don't find her attractive, by I have nothing better to do, so I guess I'll go out with her. Maybe I'll get laid.

I'm sure not all guys are like that, but that's my experience.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 89
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Posted: 4/26/2016 9:52:02 AM

Wow, I can't believe that an 'average' woman would be put on the lower priority of a measly weekday date.

If you're referring to my post, admittedly too lengthy, that's not what I'm advocating with someone you're dating. We're talking about first dates/meets of someone you haven't met yet. It's someone whose profile, yes, you find attractive -- but not someone you're dating or already met yet. Big difference. And are you shunning those who believe in the motif of a quaint first-meet instead of a first-date, to kick things off with someone you've never met before? Remember, the OP's issue is about meeting those she's never met before. My advice -- don't Only have Fri/Sat nights open if that's the case -- as although that won't make you go dateless or anything when you're a seemingly nice catch as she is, it will nix some opportunities with those who are very socially active and usually have Fri/Sat nights booked or set as high-priority. Not everyone has Fri/Sat in their life as 1st-date-nights. Love it or hate it, good or bad, it's true.

Never do I worry about what day of the week it is....we usually work it out together.

Two people should work it out together, sure. Those who only restrict things to a Fri/Sat night though, would be the more stringent about it. There's Sunday afternoon, Sunday evening, Saturday afternoon, happy hour Mon-Fri, etc. When it comes to first-meet dates, many people are going to aim it on days where it's not going to get in the way of much.

they considered average at best in the first place...iow...why are you asking a woman out that isn't attractive to you?

Just because a guy or gal one hasn't ever met before isn't worthy of canceling Fri/Sat night plans (isn't a seemingly "wow" catch), doesn't mean they don't find their pictures & standing attractive. Point to the OP to look out for when all her first-meet date formulations fall thru, is that guys will lack attraction of getting together if all the gal is going by a Fri/Sat night-only rule. Some people have very active social lives and very possibly other dates (among other things) set up on Fri/Sat. Lack of availability with someone you haven't met can make one lose attraction on the notion of meeting up.

Same advice goes to guys, too. Can't expect a high # of gals, especially a great catch whose inbox is probably brimming at the top, to have many Fri/Sat nights open for someone they haven't met yet, so don't go Fri/Sat night-Only either. But to some who are single (notably not in a younger generation), Fri/Sat nights are free & even designated for initial dates.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 90
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 9:53:29 AM
To reduce rejection, in the beginning it's best to ask for a weeknight date. People are usually busy with friends and family on the weekends.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 91
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Posted: 4/26/2016 3:50:34 PM
I think some of the stigma associated with weekend vs weekday dates has a lot to do with the idea of having a 'meetup' orientation versus an 'adventure' date. Some detest the simple meetup - see it as a slam against their character for not being 'worthy' of something more - and thus want to force their potentials to schedule something during dating 'prime time'. Others want the simple meet - be it insecurity or whatever - so the weekdays are a 'better' choice.

I find is that a truly enthusiastic dater will MAKE the time to meet, regardless of the circumstance. I have friends that have scheduled dates on Christmas evenings and other holidays because it was a rare time when schedules worked out. Assuming one is 'busy' a lot of the time is usually a bad assumption - but if they don't really want to meet up, they will use ANY lame excuse to get out of a date.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 92
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 4:12:52 PM
These forums are a never ending source of surprises and consequent laughter....

I guess there is a new scale... instead of 1 through 10... it's Monday through Saturday...

That girl is a Tuesday but... I'm looking to upgrade to a Thursday.... Friday and Saturday women are full of themselves... they won't ask me out... they get hundreds of messages... they don't reply to my Shakespearean "Hey babe, nice girls you got there" messages and worse... some would even like me to pay for their cup of coffee... LOL

Welcome to the era of Gregorian dating! No weekday left behind.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 93
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 4:38:46 PM
That wasn"t it for me, Mr. Danimal.

It was this....posted by Mr. Norwegian....


"This alone won't make one's dating situation lack altogether, but for guys who like to and do go out to hit the town on weekend nights, they may not want to sacrifice a fun Saturday night out on the town for a 1st date with Sally who's cute and all, but not out of his league or anything nor revealing signs that naughtiness would be sooner rather than later."


That ^^^^^^ Mr. Danimal.....put in a more simplistic manner.....is a player. Basically....the guy Mr. Norwegian is describing is one that is primarily looking for sex. This guy isn't gonna give up his option of meeting a drunk girl at the club on a Friday or Saturday night unless your profile pic is so hot or your profile, pics or messages give off the vibe that sex will occur sooner rather than later.


Thank goodness all men don'the think like this. But thank you Mr. Norwegian....you actually do women a service by showing us what to look out for. :)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 94
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Posted: 4/26/2016 5:37:14 PM
whatever "average" means to some, to me it means just acceptable without being memorable. Some men who are "average" themselves will settle for what they can get and hoping for sex. I have seen it.

If a guy only wants to see me mid week then I know he is either partnered or has other priorities on the week ends. Pass...

 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 95
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Posted: 4/26/2016 5:47:14 PM
Mr Norweigan often posts crap and I don't bother to read his lengthy screeds. I have better things to do.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 96
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 6:14:42 PM
Ah KJ, even worse is the "late night" call or text..1 or 2 in the morning, meaning he couldn't score with a hottie from the club, and is calling his "back up plans".
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 97
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/26/2016 6:20:34 PM
So now dating is like what month to eat oysters
I'm guessing there are rules of engagement for sex too
"But Hon it is after all a Tuesday"
" Please pass the mashed potatoes"
or you can only date during months that have 28 days
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 98
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Posted: 4/26/2016 8:35:00 PM

the guy Mr. Norwegian is describing is one that is primarily looking for sex

Incorrect -- way out of context. :) There is no "the" guy or one type of guy. Whether you like it or not, people have plans with friends, family, the nightlife, etc. on Fri & Sat nights. Whether you like it or not -- a guy or girl isn't going to so easily shake their Fri/Sat night plans for someone who isn't a rarer find. Just the facts. Other things can come into play, and to preemptively mention it before someone chiming in.... yes, obviously more so for guys statistically -- non-players included, of course -- said cute looking gal who shows signs of naughtiness may shake the guy out of his Fri/Sat plans as well. Statistical common sense.

Some detest the simple meetup - see it as a slam against their character for not being 'worthy' of something more

I think this boils down to a full-fledged Date VS quaint first-meet date debate. There are many women of course who prefer the latter. Especially socially active ones who frequently have their Fri/Sat nights booked, too. It's not a "guy thing".

I have friends that have scheduled dates on Christmas evenings

And with someone cute via POF they've had some chats with but haven't met IRL yet -- or even someone they had a date with they'd like another one with -- if they don't, do they not care enough? A player? :) Of course not. But sure, those things will happen -- and even understandable circumstances where it will. It takes something bigger than normal to do that...

I find is that a truly enthusiastic dater will MAKE the time to meet

... which will bring the Enthusiasm. To some, just to Get a date is enthusiasm. To some who don't have actively booked social lives on Fri/Sat nights outside of formal dates, it doesn't take much enthusiasm. To those who do have actively booked social lives on Fri/Sat nights -- which tend to be the better catches (which I assume OP has been mining) -- will require more enthusiasm to cancel such plans so readily.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 99
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Posted: 4/27/2016 8:00:40 AM
For me, dating is easy.

If I'm interested in someone, I message them, and hopefully it leads into meeting soon. I usually try to throw in a question each message so they have something to respond to. If they are interested in me, they respond, we have fun messaging, and then we meet in a few days.

From there, 1 of 3 things happen:

1) She likes me more than I like her. From there, I ease up on the responses, and they don't pursue because they know. Or, I tell her "I think you're great, but I don't think that's what i'm looking for." I think it's cruel to lead someone on in any way.

2) I like her more. I usually get the fade. Sometimes, I hear back from them every few days, or a week, like the OP experienced...but the translation is: You're not someone I want to give top priority to. So I just move on, and don't take it personal. We're all allowed to like who we want to like. Being strung along is not a game I play.

3) There is mutual interest, and we date some more.

That's just me though. I'm not into games. If I like a girl right away, I'll probably tell her.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 100
Dating Trend? Ladies please step forward!
Posted: 4/27/2016 8:20:13 AM
Thanx, WR.

i'll confess, I think my idea of what a date is, is different from others. or i'm being too logical, not so much romantic.

I've dated average-looking gals b/c, duh, look at my photo. I've asked out hotties for decades, they say no. I'm not looking for sympathy, i'm just explaining reality. If someone wants to date, they should pick someone they have a chance with, or they can come here alone and complain women won't lower their standards while they won't lower their own. I've dated women who had great personalities, but wouldn't give me an instant erection...which sometimes does bother them. can't win :)

I don't consider a weekday date to be "measly". why not break up the monotomy of the week?if someone I care about had a bad day at work Tuesday, I shouldn't say, "Well, we'll go out Friday and get your mind off it, so wait until then". dating should be fun as well as getting to know someone (Which should be fun, not work), but some people do think dates should be limited to Friday and Saturday. now, if I was able to date multiple people, which some think is OK at the beginning of the dating search but should stop once "the talk" happens, then i'll try to arrange it so people are doing what they want. the person who wants to do the science museum, may not want to be out until Sunday morning when they have church. not everyone is one-dimensional, yes, but some are--there are profiles that say they are home bodies, etc.

Science museums are awesome, BTW. I still remember one in Columbus Ohio on a "date", had a room had CD's and prisms and such hanging from the ceiling, on the walls, etc, and when you went inside they'd turn out the lights, and do a light show with lasers and strobes getting caught as the CDs and anything else hanging from the ceiling spun around, etc. creativity is cool, but not everyone thinks so.
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