Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why does this happen?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _Cinnamon__Girl_
Joined: 3/28/2016
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Why does this happen?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
It was a lunch date, and he met me on his lunch break from work. I don't think he was expecting to get laid on his lunch break.

When I've been stood up in the past, I had spoken to each one of them right before the scheduled date to confirm plans. I'm thinking that some just like to play games, and when it threatens to become real, as in an actual meeting, they chicken out.
This whole online thing has been pretty discouraging, so far.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 12/24/2015
Msg: 26
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:23:25 PM
^ Ahhh. You've never heard of a "nooner". Stick around, Kid ;)
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 27
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 5:08:51 AM


It was a lunch date, and he met me on his lunch break from work. I don't think he was expecting to get laid on his lunch break.


Just in case, I suggest you offer the guy "sex or soup"... if his reply is "soup", you may want to look elsewhere.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 28
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:37:29 AM

It was a lunch date, and he met me on his lunch break from work.


It's safer for him that way-less chance his wife will find out if he's on a lunch break during working hours. He probably couldn't figure out a way to meet after work without raising suspicion at home.
 Onyx49
Joined: 3/6/2016
Msg: 29
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 7:42:22 AM
MSG-26

Well...meeting for lunch isn't really a date !
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 30
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 3:24:05 PM
I am bringing pizzelles and cannolis to the meeting. I am Italian.

I met a guy for lunch. He suggested the restaurant and we had a nice Chinese lunch. I saw that in the same shopping center there was a German restaurant and mentioned it when he walked me to my car. He suggested we eat at a German restaurant the next meet as he knew I lived in Germany. Never heard from him again. Sent him two text messages and gave it up. He never responded.

Sometimes, as one of the posters suggested, we are being polite during the first meet and then don't really have any desire to meet again, but make superficial plans for another date.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 31
view profile
History
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 4:26:54 PM
He may well be married and just living some sort of fantasy or someone found him out. He may not be able to perform sexually and does not want to start something he cant finish. Men do this kind of thing all the time as do women. He may not have been feeling the chemistry but was being courteous and polite. He may actually be dead!!! Who knows???
 JJBean21
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 32
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 5:03:53 PM

At the end of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go out again, made suggestions for what do on second date, said he would google info about an activity and call me. Walked me to my car, hugged me hard, and kissed me on the cheek.

I never heard from him again. I waited a few days and texted him. Nothing.


If he does get in touch with you again....remember this: WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME. Maya Angelou

Welcome to online dating where everyone gets their freak on....just don't let it freak YOU out.
JJ
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/20/2016 5:31:35 PM
Everybody repeat after me three times:

It doesn't matter what they SAY. The only thing that matters is what they do. If they don't ask you out again for a real date with a place and a time - they're not interested in seeing you again, for whatever reason.

If they say pretty, flowery shiny things on the first few dates, smile pleasantly and say something like: that sounds like fun, but keep your internal composure and wait and see.

What they say on a date means nothing, in most cases -- only actions count.
 wineaboutit
Joined: 2/18/2016
Msg: 34
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/21/2016 5:35:04 AM
Here is the reality, just because we think there was chemistry does not mean the other person felt the same thing. Basically either in the moment he thought he wanted to get together again, or he did not know how to say nice to have met you and left it at that. I feel like this, words don't mean that much, actions to. If somebody does not contact me, they have done me a favor, they have told me they are not interested and I can look for opportunities elsewhere to connect. Sure it can be hurtful if I thought there was a connection but to me silence is always an answer and it does not really matter one bit why somebody opts to not contact. Knowing why does not change the outcome.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/25/2016 11:49:58 PM

Went on a lunch-date with a guy I met here.

Uh Oh! ;)

There seemed to be mutual chemistry. He complemented me, he paid for lunch. Hugged me (hard) three times.

He was hard while hugging? Sounds like he enjoyed himself a bit too much on the lunch date...

In all seriousness though, at this exact point in it: Just because you go out on a nice date, and the other person genuinely enjoyed it, it doesn't mean they're eagerly wanting to see you again.

At the end of the date, he asked me if I wanted to go out again, made suggestions for what do on second date, said he would google info about an activity and call me. ..... I never heard from him again. I waited a few days and texted him. Nothing.

Yeah, that sucks. The good news is is that he didn't MAKE a 2nd date and then disappear. But yes, he was "being nice" too much at that point by bringing up a a proposal in-the-making. In reality, he was (most likely) Genuinely considering another date with you to some extent.

Guys, if you have ever done something similar, what were the reasons?

I've been in something close to his position before. The girl was cute, a dating prospect, I had a nice time, etc. Nothing amazing. After walking her to her car I said "Maybe we can get together some other time...," and she enthusiastically said yes and asked what we could do. Now, I said that because it was truly a 'maybe', even though I was in a positive mood and there was no 'maybe' that our date went well. So, being nice, I responded to her saying that maybe we could go to X/Y/Z next weekend or something... she asked about a couple details, and I said I'll check it out and let her know what I figure out. Now, I didn't completely disappear, but I more or less blew her off after that saying I was busy and never did look that up, etc.

So what caused me to get into that snag? It was a true maybe -- she was more enthusiastic about it, and I had better dating options lined up + better other plans lined up.

What did I learn? Don't bring up "going out again", even with the "maybe" -- unless you have Solid interest in your mind at that point. It can seem natural for in-the-moment at the end of a nice date that you would maybe like to, but when you get back to reality, you may think "ehhh". Better dating prospects, better plans elsewhere, etc. Best to be consciously aware to hold off unless your interest is real solid.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 36
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/26/2016 10:07:38 AM
He changed his mind after the date. It's just part of dating.

You really don't have a solid foundation for a relationship until you have dated a person for a couple months. Until then, don't count on anything.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 37
Why does this happen?
Posted: 4/26/2016 10:17:52 AM
"he's 61."




Maybe he died ?

Prince was only 57 ....

Just sayin
 JJBean21
Joined: 8/12/2015
Msg: 38
Why does this happen?
Posted: 5/1/2016 6:30:29 PM

If somebody does not contact me, they have done me a favor, they have told me they are not interested and I can look for opportunities elsewhere to connect. Sure it can be hurtful if I thought there was a connection but to me silence is always an answer and it does not really matter one bit why somebody opts to not contact. Knowing why does not change the outcome.


INDEED....outcomes of the first date can always change, though. One guy I went on a first meet and greet with asked if I wanted to get together again. I said, "yes"....because he put me on the spot. I didn't know what to say, but thought oh WTH. I didn't go out with him again and he didn't contact me until 3 months later. He told me he "regretted' letting me go. Letting me go???? He was "talking" to someone else at the same time. I guess she didn't work out so he came back to me. I told him, thanks but no thanks.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why does this happen?