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 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 26
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date themPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Celibacy has dire effects on some it seems.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 27
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:58:17 PM
Back in 2006, my ex moved back to my house and paid rent for a room. He had no relationship or anything to do with me. I wish he did, but nothing. I only told one of my then dates about my ex. He did not like it. I did not tell anyone else. No problem It was very frustrating, that my ex jerked off every day to porn etc. I found this out. I found his tissues in the waste can, etc. On weekends he go and see his new girl. That is my experience. I do not have anymore experiences. None of the guys I write to seem interested in me, or reply to me, or meet me. Cellibacy and no dates are not good. I really do look as good as my pictutes and I have been told I look better than my pictures.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 28
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:59:26 PM
I think that guys would care less if a woman is living alone or not. While women care more about it.
I did date a woman who rented a room and at some point lived with her parents. But she had her own reasons and I understood that. never stopped me as long as I liked her.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 29
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/20/2016 12:17:06 PM


None of the guys I write to seem interested in me, or reply to me, or meet me. Cellibacy and no dates are not good. I really do look as good as my pictutes and I have been told I look better than my pictures.


Ah, I remember this one. I think of her as “the weird cat lady”. She has been around a long time.

Check out her profile. I can easily believe that she is alone, and will always be alone.

vvv (below) -- No Oral, 6 feet tall, no more than 180 lbs, maximum waist size 30 inches.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 30
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/20/2016 12:20:39 PM
Meowwwww....

Isn't she seeking a guy that weighs less then her?

Maybe hit up some jockeys at the track.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 31
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/20/2016 2:07:05 PM

Cellibacy and no dates are not good. I really do look as good as my pictutes and I have been told I look better than my pictures.


Why not do what a lot of women do then, and that is to masturbate. Problem solved.
 StumbledN
Joined: 12/20/2014
Msg: 32
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 8:14:49 AM
I'll vote for the case by case basis. But I think I'd want to know a lot more about the why and wherefore of someone living with their ex. Not saying it's a complete deal killer but would raise red flags and need in depth explanation for sure. Having said that, I'm not directing that comment toward the cat lady up thread. And I'm not so sure she deserves to be jumped on. I believe there's somebody for everybody. Not necessarily on POF, but they're out there somewhere.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 33
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 6:35:26 PM
I do agree, don't bash others for making comments on here. What happened to diplomacy?

I have known some divorced couples that still resided in the same house. After paying the lawyer's fees for divorce, they were on a tight budget until they started anew again. Sometimes one got the house and needed some rent from the ex or a boarder till the house was sold. It was purely a financial arrangement until both were on their feet.

As most of the posters said, take living arrangements on a case by case basis. I posted the original question and all your answers have broadened my perspective!
 excusezmoi
Joined: 3/11/2016
Msg: 34
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 8:04:36 PM
So glad you opened this topic, as I have a firm opinion and questioned myself whether I was perhaps being a bit unreal or even harsh.

When a guy is renting, rooming or itinerant I consider him not to be on the same page as myself. I have my own turf and if he has his, we're starting out as equals. We live in a crazy world where people can make legal grabs at your property, after having zero input into its acquisition.

It doesn't matter what somebody was in a previous life - a lawyer, a priest, bank manager, billionaire extraordinaire. I'm only interested in meeting and dating who they are NOW. I've worked hard and forfeited much to get to where I am now, and don't want to risk it for someone who has made bad decisions or who has had bad experiences and wants someone else to pick them up out of their quagmire. Conversely, I would not expect a whole lot a of trust from a stranger if I put myself out there without my own financial stability firmly in place.

It's not all about stuff either. Now that's out of the way, I am quite a homely person and I'm looking for someone I can at least 'hang out' with, and hopefully on a regular basis. If a relationship ever developed that'd be fantastic, but it's not the be-all end-all. Some say that you can tell the state of someone's mind by looking at the state of their dwelling. I absolutely believe this to be true.

Okay, you might tell me that I'm 'not here to marry the guy', which is true. But I am here to meet men and not women, because ultimately I would like to make some sort of partnership as I don't want to end up a lonely old woman. My marriage was long and mostly loving, and incorporated the best years of my life, which I cannot reclaim . If I ever marry again, it will naturally be shorter and less well developed, and I no longer have the years or energy ahead of me to start again from scratch. Hence, I have some offerings to bring to the table, and hopefully so does he.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 35
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 9:35:41 PM


When a guy is renting, rooming or itinerant I consider him not to be on the same page as myself.


Thank you for being honest.

If a gal can honestly tell me she got her HOME without the help of a HUSBAND? or FORMER HUSBAND THAT...DIED.... I'll consider her an equal.

Otherwise?

Total busllsh!t
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 36
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 9:41:41 PM

I have known some divorced couples that still resided in the same house. After paying the lawyer's fees for divorce, they were on a tight budget until they started anew again. Sometimes one got the house and needed some rent from the ex or a boarder till the house was sold. It was purely a financial arrangement until both were on their feet.


That is fvcked up.

And stupid.

And sadistic and self destructive on each other.

Very egotistical.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 37
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 10:03:16 PM
There are plenty of women from all ages that won't date someone that lives with their parents for whatever reason. Whether it was helping out elderly parents or because they were saving up money to buy a house or they need a temporary place to stay after a marriage or LTR ended. While I think men ( in general ) are less likely to care about this.
 excusezmoi
Joined: 3/11/2016
Msg: 38
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 10:15:36 PM
very sad that the assumption is made that a woman cannot own something without having screwed someone over.

My marriage ended amicably and equitably, and both of us have moved on. We're both very much still alive, and I work long hours to secure the lifestyle of my choice. So does he, to secure the lifestyle of his choice. I'm proud of who I am and what I do, and would love to find someone with a similar outlook on life.

I have dated males who carry that chip on their shoulder, and find them to be miserable and lousy company.
 americanbulldog89
Joined: 4/19/2016
Msg: 39
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/22/2016 11:14:52 PM

EDIT, LOL, OK Who let the dog out?


Yup
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 40
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 5:08:52 AM
Clooney
We had no insurance, house or life.. so yea I have my home because I work for it
Man - it must be misery to be you
And if I wanted a Vette I would get one on my own, too. Easy
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 41
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 5:26:37 AM
"If a gal can honestly tell me she got her HOME without the help of a HUSBAND? or FORMER HUSBAND THAT...DIED.... I'll consider her an equal."


Fair enough.....Mr. Clooney. Everyone has a right to define equality. But I find your definition a bit confusing....since....correct me if I am wrong,....you don't own a home. I should think that if a single never married woman owns her own home, outright....you would be less than her equal. Unless, of course, you have equal financial holdings not invested in real estate.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 42
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 6:53:36 AM
^^^^
That is very fair.

I've yet to meet these unicorns in the real world :(

Wait a sec...

I did meet ONE and check this out...not only did she own a home, she owned a newer Vette!

Very well off and...never married.

Lesson to be learned here :)

Definitely taking a lot of things with her to the grave...
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 43
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 8:01:50 AM
Life is full of lessons to be learned, Mr. Clooney.
Goodness knows I have learned my share and not often by choice, mind you. :/

Learning not to judge others is a big one for me....especially, when it is by standards by which I would hate to be judged by. I am a work in progress that will most likely never be finished. Lol!


But this lesson......

"Definitely taking a lot of things with her to the grave..."


Was a particularly painful one. One you are also incorrect about. Those things don't go to the grave and most often the love freely given and received will be worth more than any material possessions left behind...ever could...by the ones who mattered in your life.

Decide who and what YOU want to matter in your life without letting the opinions and behaviors of others have undue influence, my dear Mr. Clooney. You know I am wishing you a life of love. :)
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 44
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 8:31:47 AM
Clooneys right...in the thought pattern of "some" of us have what we have because of circumstances.....to an extent.
Some may call it "choices or priorities".
My late husband and I both paid for this place, it was initially my money from working/saving that was the down payment...though.
For me....I would drive a beater but wanted my own place. We both worked and "monies" went into the home instead of trips and partying...

I think for me....It's not so much what a mans possessions are, as what his priorities are.
If a man at 60 is in debt up to his ears and has no money sense....I can't/won't get involved.
Tried that once....
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 45
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 8:33:01 AM
It's not automatic dealbreaker. I would need to assess the overall circumstances. There are many people in their 40s and 50s that still have children living with them. Often teenagers or adults in their 20s that may have recently finished school or still are in school.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 46
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 9:11:37 AM
I guess some folks are house poor, extra profiles rich :)
Nicely said KJ.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 47
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 9:15:01 AM

extra profiles rich :)


I thought he had the upgraded acct. You can change user name anytime. :)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 48
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 9:15:26 AM
KJ, I was being very sarcastic.

SOME folks apparently believe as the pharaohs did :(

Now, I kinda get the whole water seeks its own level mentality.

It's the hypocrisy that I find astonishing from some folks is all.

In the end, it doesn't matter how someone got their things. If they got more things then I do, then I am not at their level.

As Whisky indicated, it's a mind set some folks have.

I'm curious if they'll ever implement Blue/White Collar and Rent/Own options on profiles.

Ah, yes Ouija. Being mortgage poor isn't such a bad thing for the one holding the mortgage. Some of these folks just need entertainment directors and will never offer to share the bill. Their time? Sure!

I appreciate everybody's patience while I endure this bout of...manopause...

vvvvvv

NDM.

I would not be irritated if you won the lottery, unless you didn't offer to pay for all of our dates.

That never married gal with the house and newer Vette?

She tried to set me up with her friend, described her as a...home owner.

Friend tells me that she described me a dude that owns a...Vette.

Never married gal isn't so much greedy I suspect but more of a hedonist.

Also, I think it's disgusting that someone would consider a widow/widower a possible windfall because of possible life insurance received. I dunno. I think widow/widowers should not mention that status on a profile due to the risk of being targeted by scammers.

YMMV


 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 49
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 9:20:31 AM
Is Mr. Clooney now FlingingSnot?

The woman who never married is not taking her house or assets to the grave. Her will may stipulate that it goes to charity, nieces or nephews for a college fund, sisters or brothers ,etc.

That is an interesting premise that unless women earned everything on their own and it was Not inherited, or given to her by an ex or a deceased spouse, she is not on equal footing with someone who earned everything they have.

When it is time to collect social security a divorced person can claim higher benefits from an ex that earned the most. I can do the same being a surviving widow.

My govt pension was from a survivor benefit of my late spouse. We took a cut in the pension ( an annuity) so if he passed away, I would continue to receive part of his pension. Otherwise, when he died, the pension would not go to anyone. The govt simply stops paying out.

I own a house but I worked very hard to pay it off in less than 15 years. The extra money could have gone to vacations and fancy cars ,expensive clothing and eating out but it did not. I know people who made the same amount of money as we did but lived beyond their means and racked up credit card debt they can never pay off or had to declare bankruptcy in order to wipe the debt from their record for a fresh start.

I am grateful that my late spouse and I were on the same page financially the entire marriage. My grown children are glad that I am financially self sufficient. I am grateful that I am not a gold digger looking for a date to pay for my dinner. But I will keep it in mind if I meet someone that my assets may be considered a "Windfall" rather than hard earned.

If I win a lottery ( which I don't play; odds are against winning a huge jackpot) I suppose that would irritate some men who feel I did nothing to earn/deserve the money.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 50
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 4/23/2016 10:11:50 AM


That is an interesting premise that unless women earned everything on their own and it was Not inherited, or given to her by an ex or a deceased spouse, she is not on equal footing with someone who earned everything they have.


NDM, not gender specific.

How would you feel if you met a widower that paid off his house with life insurance, quit his job and was searching for someone with a real job?

Ya know, someone that could offer him...health insurance?

Well, sh!t. I suppose the fella really might have sincere motives, huh?

Sometimes these situationships really are about ulterior motives.

Hahahahhahaa
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