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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into      Home login  
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 xlr8ingme
Joined: 4/29/2016
Msg: 76
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date themPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I do understand how men in your position may become offended by the harsh reality of my posts. However the double standard shall always exist in this scenario. It is men that may request a prenuptial, and women are not suppose to protect their future. Only I can protect myself; no one else will do that for me. At 51 my earning capabilities have changed. I have always been blunt with the men I date, which may appear to be quite aloof. Its actually the opposite; I care too much to waste someone's time that wont be a good fit into my church, family, and life.

Getting "laid" doesn't mean anything (I agree there), and it took years after my late fiancé passed to figure that out. I do not engage in such activity outside a committed relationship with promise.

I wish you all the best of luck in the search for a suitable partner, and I wish those that are committed a life full of happiness. Peace out-

 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 77
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 5/14/2016 8:21:41 AM
^^^^^^
She left the building! WTF? Let's engage in some witty banter!

I can only imagine what's gonna happen when I purchase a home or condo soon.

Is she gonna ask how many square feet or...compare equity between our properties? Maybe I'll fib about the size of my down payment when she asks! Hahahaha.

SeaLady and VK were from the same school of thought. They lamented being invisible as middle aged women, yet hid themselves behind their homes and...yachts.

It's all a farce.

I hope the reason you departed the facility is that you met Prince Solvent...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 78
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 5/14/2016 2:08:45 PM

I bet you would considering that was your insinuation. No basis for that, but since you think it's happened it has to be a given at least hypothetically.

There's plenty basis for it. You're saying no person on earth has/would feel motivated to go out on a date because they feel lonely. You have no basis for that position. I think you just don't like me and will argue for the sake of it. :) But since you're hardened on it, yes, one date comes to mind where she was crying about her recent ex-husband and that her friends pushed to go out and meet people and she's agreed to go on some because she's lonely. And also, not women I've dated, but guys and gals have expressed to me that they have had that as a motive. So yes, there's more than just a mere basis that it exists.

Really? So we'll just assume lonely was the real reason regardless of what they actually may have said.

No, I never insinuated that. You know that. I was saying that there are some (a minority) of dates that occur of two people who Never Met Before, where one will go out on it, where their main motive was loneliness. I'm sorry to break it to that the concept does exist to some degree.

Someone deep in debt is certainly not the one for me.

Someone renting doesn't mean they're deep in debt. Some people get into debt because they bought a house they can't really afford. There's nothing to be proud of, being a "homeowner" in an of itself. The choice of place you live in + renting vs buying are decisions to make. I make 3x more than the average guy with a bachelors, but I'm certainly not going to buy for the sake of it. Buying can be a financially bad decision to make, and obviously Many times the better in classic situations.

It doesn't matter to me if someone is short, fat, bald, bla blah bla.....
If we get along, we enjoy each others company, we can agree on things we find important, I'll give love a chance. What do I have to lose? Time?

Well, if you don't find them physically attractive but get along with him well as a friend -- although that's up to you as far as losing time and energy, what about him? :) Unless he was clearly warned that you aren't attracted to him in-that-way, it wouldn't be the ethical thing to do (even though you may mean well) to go out on dates of any sort.

It is men that may request a prenuptial, and women are not suppose to protect their future.

I think much of that is when a guy has a Lot of assets & money, and she, even doing quite decent for herself, is Way less comparatively. I could see a super rich woman wanting a prenuptial if/when marrying the pool boy. :)
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 79
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/21/2016 7:32:36 PM
Well they need to be self sufficient, have their own place, or rent. wheels, work/ or income of some sort.

I have it in the body of my profile.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 80
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/21/2016 8:25:25 PM
At my age in no way would I consider a woman outside my socioeconomic demographic. Been there done that. I imagine that holds even truer for women seeking men.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 81
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/21/2016 8:36:23 PM
Interesting.

I've met females that were mortgage poor, but I've never met a female with an MBA, let alone earning 6 figures.

I'm ok if she isn't exactly in my socioeconomic demographic.

Hell, even if she rents but lives alone, we're good.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 82
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/21/2016 9:58:28 PM
Clooney, do your six figures include assets that are taxed? The stock market did really well last year and the few years before that. This past year was not so great with returns, but don't discount the assets of women who invest without an MBA.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 83
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/22/2016 5:17:56 AM
Only if he lived with dogs or cats or was homeless.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 84
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 12:05:10 AM




When a guy is renting, rooming or itinerant I consider him not to be on the same page as myself.



Thank you for being honest.

If a gal can honestly tell me she got her HOME without the help of a HUSBAND? or FORMER HUSBAND THAT...DIED.... I'll consider her an equal.

Otherwise?

Total busllsh!t [/quore]

I was lucky and saved my overseas pay and bought a small house when I was 26.
I never was married, but it did take some people aback when me and the real estate agent showed up to check out houses.
I'd be asked where my husband was. I'd say I didn't even have a boyfriend..
Why are you buying a house then? They would ask.
I gotta sleep somewhere, I explained
 scorpioinOregon
Joined: 7/20/2014
Msg: 85
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 12:07:02 AM
I recently met a guy in his 60's that lived in an RV and paid rent to a farmer to park this RV in a corner of the field. I tried to imagine myself spending the night in this RV and really didn't think I could do it.

So yes, it did factor into my decision for prospective future dates.
 AgentNinety9
Joined: 6/9/2016
Msg: 86
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 6:10:10 AM

His eyes got big and round when he found out I have a house and live alone and do not have room mates.

That right there would be enough to make me head for the hills.

Not interesting in dating a man who is living on the cheap with a roommate(s) because he's so frugal but gets visibly excited at the thought of living on my dime because I'm all alone with my x-square foot home on x-acres with my x-figure income. Oh hell no, nice meeting you now go home and have some of that PBR with your buddies.


they may have special needs adult children, taking care of elderly parents or even raising their grandkids.

Even more dealbreakers.

The man would have to live alone, and at more or less the same socio-economic level.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 87
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 7:23:04 AM


Clooney, do your six figures include assets that are taxed?


Maybe...

I'm not discounting women with assets, I'm discounting women with assets that are discounting...renters.

Scorpio, the RV thing doesn't sound so bad, but yeah, living in the corner of a farmer's field wouldn't be very scenic. RV owners do get a tax break similar to mortgages.

I met a gal that lived on a sailboat on a slip. Quite the arrangement. Her office where she practiced child psychology was walking distance near the dock. She paid cash for the boat and pays a few hundred a month for slip fees.

I'd have to see what it was like during a storm before I passed judgment on that arrangement, but then again it doesn't rain often here in So Cal.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 88
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 7:40:48 AM
I'd have to know the circumstances of why it is he is living in a little cheap apartment


is it because the ex got the house in the divorce and he is trying to start over?


or is it because he has gotten booted out of the last chick he was living off of
and he has gotten fired from another job for not showing up or showing up drunk
his family will not longer help him out
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 89
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/23/2016 7:44:36 AM
They find out my living my arrangements when I bang them.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 90
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 10:15:51 AM
Clooney I find your comments refreshing! They always make me laugh. Maybe I have a sick sense of humor!

I just thought of a guy I met once a long time ago who was honest, at least. His car was broke and he could not fix it, so he walked to a local Dairy Queen and I drove there. Then I heard the total sob story: he was living with a woman, he was a part time student, did not have a job, even if he got a job he could not get to work or class. The woman was widowed like myself and let him move in for companionship, etc. He claimed he took care of everything around her house, cleaning, repairs, lawn work and cooking. She decided she wanted him to leave; got the cops to present him with a citation to get him out of the house, but he had nowhere to go. He was trying to convince me that he would be just what I needed-- a live in handyman who could mow my yard.

I finished my ice cream and left. He called me a few times and I never answered. For some reason quite a few guys have offered to mow my yard in exchange for this or that. Don't they think that women can use a lawnmower?!
 5__Jo
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 91
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 12:55:51 PM
Sorry...but yes, it does. No problem with renters though, just men who for whatever reason are reestablishing themselves and struggling to get by—not saying there aren't good reasons for why one would need to reestablish themselves(and as well, good men doing so), just saying I wouldn't want to deal with that at this point in my life. Some people who rent do so because it just happens to be a good financial move for them at the time. Also why I don't date men who are separated or in the process of divorce—both of those situations equal men who are still married. :-)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 92
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 2:54:13 PM
Just how exactly do you determine a gent is...re-establishing? This is one of those nebulous terms like...solvent.

Fortunately for me, these are post-coital discovery issues :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 93
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 4:56:23 PM
I'm kinda happy they just living :)
Do people ask such personal Qs when they meet?
Whats your square footage?
Who's your Daddy, is he rich like me?
Everyone sing
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 94
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 5:47:41 PM
If her Daddy's rich, take her out for a meal
If her Daddy's Poor, just do what You Feel


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGorlIyOMss
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 95
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 6:15:42 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzpPy9hJYA8
Darn I am old
 5__Jo
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 96
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 6:55:34 PM
^^^^When one is struggling to get by—that would be one clue. Others are just up front and honest about it. I had one man explain that he had recently divorced and was also in the process of looking for a job...yep, reestablishing. There are clues.
 60Sunnysideup
Joined: 6/15/2016
Msg: 98
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 8:26:08 PM
"solvent". I think Mr. Clooney , correct me if you think I'm wrong, men don't mind dating a woman who is "re-establishing" herself after a divorce. Men will not fret whether she owns or rents. Men don't much care if her car is new or 8 years old. Men just like her to have a job and aren't so concerned about salary or her job title. Women, well, some care about all that stuff.

I have found that both have to re-establish themselves somehow after a divorce and it could be physically, mentally or financially because no one get out unscathed. "Solvent", lol. If I saw that on a profile, I'm afraid I'd have make one of those assumptions and hit the "next" button.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 99
Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/25/2016 8:57:53 PM
^^^^
Thank you.

Nothing new here really.

Men are more forgiving, except visually. Women are the opposite.

And yeah, if I see the words solvent or compatibility on a profile, I click NEXT.

I also avoid hair stylists and entrepreneurs.

Massage therapists are short term fun, however :)
 5__Jo
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 100
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Does the current living arrangement of a prospective date factor into whether you would date them
Posted: 6/27/2016 2:58:12 PM
Yep, sunny...agreed. Both usually always need to reestablish in some way after a divorce. I had to after my divorce. Just saying that I don't want to date anyone who is in this process of reestablishing, or only separated, or in the process of a divorce...just doesn't interest me. For the record...I already said I could care less about own/rent.

As well, there are many men who don't want to date women who are reestablishing or separated, or in the process of divorce....for the same reasons I don't. "Men don't much care if her car is new or 8 years old. Men just like her to have a job and aren't so concerned about salary or her job title." Bwahahah—if a woman is hot enough many men could care less if she has a job, and vice versa.
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